The Truth of The Heart
by child-of-scorpio
Summary: Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily’s opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?
1. End of Sixth Year

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: **Yes, I am reposting! I had a good long think and decided that in the end, as much as it hurt to see one year and 34 chapters' worth of work disappear in a mouseclick or two (of some evil person), I didn't go through all of it for nothing. So, I'm planning to repost my fic chapter by chapter once or twice a week, depending on how busy I am. In the meantime, I will be writing chapter 35, which is going to take a while anyway – this way, you have SOMETHING to read, rather than a big blank.

The biggest biggest biggest thankyou of all goes to **astar908. **This fic was saved from the bin by them because they had pretty much all the chapters that I lost completely when my computer crashed a while ago, and so without them, this would definitely not be happening at all. So, this chapter is dedicated to **astar908**!

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 1: End of Sixth Year**

_'Once upon a time, there was a young girl who lived in a castle overlooking a lake...'_

"What're you doing?"

"Bug off Potter!" Lily didn't even try to keep the frustration out of her voice, as she raised her head to find him looking at her.

"What?" he asked injuredly. "Aren't people allowed to make polite enquiries?"

"_People_ are. With you, its always something else."

"I'm not doing anything!"

Lily sighed tiredly. "Just leave me alone," she said coldly.

"I will, if you'll give me one chance. What do you say, Evans? Go out with me?"

Lily slammed her book down.

"NO. Don't you get it? I'm not interested. Not even remotely. I have no idea how many times you've asked me this question, but I've always said no, and I'm always going to say no, and only your big head would be thick enough to think that I would ever, EVER go out with a pig-headed jerk like you!" Angrily, she picked up her bag and books, and headed for the stairs to the dormitories.

It was only when she got to the top step that she turned, for no reason, to find James standing next to the fire, with an almost … defeated slump to his posture. The next moment, Sirius Black, one of his best friends, had bounded across the room, slapping his back and clearly asking him how it had gone. Lily's heart hardened once more and she stomped along the corridor to her dormitory, mumbling curses. It was just one of his phases, she thought fiercely. He just wanted to annoy her…and he had been doing it in this same way since fifth year. Pushing the door to her dormitory open, and dumping her bag onto the floor, she threw herself onto the bed and stared moodily up at the canopy of her four-poster.

"If I had one wish, it would be to see Potter dead," she muttered.

"What, and deprive half the girls here of their own personal god?"

Lily sat up with a start. She had thought the room was empty, but her best friend Emma appeared to be sitting up from where she had been packing her trunk in a corner, regarding her with an amused smile.

"Oh, it's you, Em." She lay back down, contemplating the fact that even if she did manage to somehow accidentally push James out of a sixth-floor window, she would have half of Hogwarts' female population at her throats the next morning, for trying to ruin the looks of a boy they practically worshipped.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Lily groaned and rolled over. "My thoughts are Potter's death wishes."

-&-&-&-

Two days later, Lily, Emma, and all the other students boarded the Hogwarts Express and were carried back to King's Cross Station. Lily and Emma had found a compartment to themselves and were busy playing Exploding Snap when the door burst open and four boys fell in, onto the floor in a heap. The first to untangle himself was Sirius. He rose to his feet and bowed dramatically.

"So sorry to have disturbed you, ladies. We were simply engaged in a spot of Snivellus-baiting and felt we needed to make a quick getaway…"

"Although he might find it a bit difficult to come after us, considering the clothes he's wearing," James added, smirking. "Especially the miniskirt." His hand flew to his hair as he saw Lily's eyes on him.

Peter Pettigrew, the shortest of the four, took a quick look outside. "Are those Slytherins?"

Remus Lupin, a more serious, and (usually) the most sensible of the boys, checked and nodded. "We'd better move."

"Well, nice seeing you, ladies," Sirius said cheerfully, as he was dragged out by Peter. "Call on us if you ever need a nice gentleman to escort you somewhere."

James lingered for half a second longer. "Evans, are you sure you wouldn't want to go out with -"

"Get OUT, you conceited loser!" Lily yelled, throwing a magazine at him. His head moved quickly behind the door and it slid shut. For a few seconds, the compartment was silent.

"Well, you can't say he isn't persistent," Emma said at last, picking up her cards.

-&-&-&-

All too soon, the train drew into the platform and the girls lugged their trunks into the crowd of students and parents. There was no sign of the four boys, or the Marauders, as they called themselves, although Lily could have sworn she heard Sirius' voice somewhere.

She and Emma exchanged the usual promises of writing to each other over the summer and with a last hug, Emma went off to find her parents. Lily began to drag her things towards the barrier that separated the Muggle station from the magical, knowing her father would be waiting in his car outside. Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her – an all-too-familiar voice.

"Evans! Oi, EVANS!"

She whirled around, anger already welling up, to see James Potter jogging up behind her.

"What?" she snapped.

"Nothing, just…sorry for all that on the train." He looked awkward, jamming his hand into his pocket as he didn't know what to do with it.

"Oh….ok…" Lily felt thrown, for some unidentifiable reason.

"Well…have a good summer," he added, going red.

She looked at him warily. "Yeah, thanks, you too."

"See you." Flashing her a small grin, though his cheeks were still warm, he set off again, weaving through the crowds.

Lily felt oddly disconcerted as she watched his retreating figure. Something had been missing from that…and had they _really_ just had a civil exchange, without her ending up yelling?

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!

I also want to add, as a last note, that if you were the person who reported this story for no reason and had it removed, then I REALLY hope that someone finds out and reports YOUR stories for no good reason. I shall also point out that were surprisingly unhelpful and rude, as they ignored my email to ask how exactly I violated their "guidelines" which makes it clear that they don't think before removing a story. Considering the fact that the website is set up to cultivate those who want to write, it's rather a shock to see that they're doing exactly the opposite. Rather undermines the whole principle, in fact.


	2. Back On The Hogwarts Express

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: **Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't b going up again, so I won't risk it. Enjoy the reposted chapter 2!

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 2: Back on the Hogwarts Express**

Six weeks later, Lily found herself back on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, dragging her trunk into an empty compartment. _Thank God I got here early_, she thought, pushing her long red hair back and then immediately feeling infuriated with herself for not tying it back as she usually did. Who did she think she wanted to impress?

Having manoeuvred herself out of the compartment again, Lily hopped off the train. She saw several people who she knew and waved absently at them as she scanned the crowds, looking for Emma. Students were climbing on and off the train, and saying goodbye to families everywhere she looked. Someone trod on her shoe, yanking the lace out, and she bent down, cursing inwardly, to tie it up. A shadow fell across her.

"Hi Lily."

She straightened up to find herself staring straight up into a male face.

James Potter.

"Lily?"

It was then that something else clicked into place. Lily? Didn't he usually call her Evans? Something was very wrong here. Perhaps he was trying to butter her up so that he could play a prank on her. Acting on impulse, Lily looked around. Were any other Marauders near?

"Hello? Lily? Wake up!"

This time, it was delivered with a slight push to the shoulder, and Lily mentally shook herself out of her thoughts and looked up at him. He had obviously grown another few inches over the summer; she felt slightly dwarfed by him, even though she was nowhere near short herself.

"Sorry. Hi."

"How've you been?" James shoved his hands in his pocket as he spoke, and Lily smothered a grin. He was clearly trying to restrain himself from running his hands through his hair.

"What's it to you, Potter?" Lily had intended it to sound like an insult, to send him packing, but to her horror, it came out sounding almost…flirty. James had obviously noticed it as well; he raised an eyebrow as he opened his mouth to reply…but he never got the chance. Another boy had leapt onto him, apparently hugging him – if only in a very masculine way.

"Prongsie!"

"Aargh, Sirius, gerroff me!" James gasped, his glasses slightly askew, trying to wrench Sirius's arm off him.

Finally, Sirius released James and noticed Lily standing there, arms crossed. A gleam appeared in his eye. "Lily!" he cried.

"Don't even think about it," Lily said firmly, taking a step back cautiously. "I, uhm, have to go…" She gestured uselessly at the crowds thronging the platform.

"Wait a second! Aren't you going to ask us how our holidays were? Especially James'?" Sirius added slyly, slapping James on the chest.

"Padfoot, shut up," James said uncomfortably, but Lily's attention was occupied by other matters. As Sirius had slapped James, something silver had winked at her, and as he removed his hand, she read what was written on the silver badge pinned neatly onto his jumper. Her mouth fell open.

"You're…" she gasped.

"Yup." Sirius smirked at her. "Our little Jamesie is Head Boy." He pretended to wipe an imaginary tear from his eye. "They grow up so fast."

"Shut it," James mumbled, but this time he was smiling slightly. His gaze focused on Lily again, who had gone paper-white.

"_You're _Head Boy?" she asked, praying that she was hearing things. "You? Not Remus, or any other seventh-year? And this isn't a joke?"

"Nope. I'm pretty sure I'm Head Boy. Why? What's it to you?"

Lily removed a small envelope from her pocket, and opened it. Her fingers trembled slightly as she removed a silver badge from it. "Surprise," she said weakly. "I was saving this to put on later."

James and Sirius leaned in to read it.

"Congratulations!" James said, hoisting a smile onto his face.

"Thanks," Lily muttered, unconsciously pushing her hair back. "You too." For one moment, she wanted to fall through the floor. Then, suddenly, her normal feelings kicked in. So she was going to be partners with Potter for the next year. Why was she blushing and acting like another one of his…_groupies_? This was _James Potter_ for heavens sake, the boy who'd made her life hell for six years.

"So," Sirius began. "Jamesie and Lily. Working together for an entire year. You'll be locked up together in rooms a lot, won't you, doing…_things_." Lily's eyes widened in shock at what he was insinuating.

"You sick-minded pervert!" she shrieked. Raising her hand, she brought it down with all the force she could muster on Sirius' cheek. He gasped and winced as she turned on her heel and strode away angrily, head held high.

"Got a temper on her, that one," Sirius said, rubbing his cheek painfully.

"Yeah," muttered James, gazing after her.

**-&-&-&-**

Two hours later, Lily and Emma were sitting in a compartment, talking. Or rather, Lily was talking furiously, and Emma was staring into space.

"…and then his idiot friend has the nerve to go and…and _imply_ things, which I would not be caught DEAD doing!" Lily said angrily. "Besides, which idiot decided to make _Potter_ Head Boy? Someone like Amos Diggory, I can understand, but Potter? He spends all his time in detention, on the Quidditch pitch, or snogging girls in broom closets. He has no respect for rules, or anything other than himself, so who thought that he would make a good Head? WHO?" Lily finally noticed the glazed look in her friend's eyes. "Emma Vance, are you listening to me at ALL?"

Emma looked up at her exasperatedly. "I listened to you the first time, Lils. And the second time. I even listened to you for most of the third time. But we have been on this train for…" she checked her watch. "…two hours, and for one hour and fifty minutes of that, I have been listening to the same thing over and over again. If you want my opinion, just ask for it."

Lily sighed and slumped down. "Alright Em. What's your opinion?"

"For starters, the 'idiot' who made James prefect would be Dumbledore, and I'm quite sure he had his reasons for choosing him. Besides, in all your ranting and raving, you haven't answered a few basic questions that you should be asking."

"Like what?" Lily shot at her friend.

"Number One: You still haven't given either me or yourself a decent explanation for why James has started calling you Lily, when you've been using surnames for the past six years. Number Two: Why did you get so upset about what Sirius said? And why are you so upset about the idea of James being Head Boy?"

"BECAUSE, he's stupid and Sirius was being gross," Lily moaned, and she slid even further down her seat. "I can't take this any more!" She scrunched her eyes shut and put her hands over her ears, just as the door opened.

"Lily!"

Emma kicked Lily, who opened her eyes to see James Potter's head, wearing an urgent expression, at the door. "Lily, you – I mean, _we_ were meant to be at the meeting in the Prefect's compartment twenty minutes ago!"

"WHAT?" Lily sprang up. "No!"

"Yes! Come on!"

"Sorry Em," she panted, and flinging the door shut behind her, she and James hurtled down the corridor.

"I – only – just – found – out!" James gasped out as they reached the door. Opening it, they tumbled in together. Eight pairs of eyes met Lily's accusingly, and she did her best to gaze round amicably at them.

"Sorry," she said apologetically. _Great_, she thought. _What a great way to start off my year._

**-&-&-&-**

Left behind, Emma smiled to herself. _And another thing, Lils_, she added silently. _You haven't noticed how much he's changed._

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!


	3. Shocks and Consequences

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: **Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Enjoy the reposted chapter 3! Seriously, I love you all LOADS!

**&&&&&&&&&-;**

**Chapter 3: Shocks and Consequences**

"Finally!" Lily said, as she and Emma sat down in the Great Hall. Despite the fact that they were both rather damp (Peeves had decided to hold a water-balloon display in the entrance hall as the students arrived – his twisted way of celebrating, Emma had remarked), she was looking forward to some hot food and thought longingly of her warm bed up in the tower. Trying not to fall asleep, she focused on her plate.

That was when she noticed the envelope tucked under it, addressed to _Lily Evans, Head Girl_.

Curiously, she opened it, and removed a single piece of parchment. Her eyes skimmed over the words. 'Oh my . . .' she muttered, and she looked up the table to see James, who had apparently just read his letter, and was looking at her as well. For the few seconds that their eyes met, they both wore identical expressions of shock, although Lily's held some horror in it as well. She broke the gaze and banged her head down onto the table.

"Uhmm, Lily?" Emma questioned. She tapped Lily carefully on the back. "What exactly are you doing to the table?"

Lily's voice sounded muffled, but was quite clearly still full of despair. "Read the letter."

Retrieving the parchment from where it had fallen, Emma began to read, as Lily buried her head in her arms.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_ We are pleased to congratulate you once more on becoming Head Girl. You will be working in partnership with the Head Boy, who this year is James Potter, also of Gryffindor. As role models for the rest of the school, the two of you are expected to work in co-operation with each other, and set aside any personal differences. Much responsibility is given to the Head students, and it is hoped that these new powers will not be abused._

_ As this letter may well be depriving you of a much-needed dinner, the full details of your jobs will be explained to you by Professor McGonagall. A weekly time slot has been set up, where you and Mr Potter will be able to discuss any business necessary, and it is expected that you will attend these meetings and devote at least two hours to the work given. You have kindly been granted permission by Professor McGonagall to use the Transfiguration classroom from 7 until 9pm on Monday evenings. Meetings will begin immediately. _

_ With best wishes for the following year,_

_ Albus Dumbledore_

_ Minerva McGonagall_

Emma looked at Lily. "What's so bad about this?"

Lily lifted her head and gave Emma a furious glare. "What's so bad? What's so _BAD_? Look at it! Work _in partnership _with James Potter? _That_ I already knew, and screamed about. _Work in co-operation and set aside personal differences_? I'm sorry, but _Potter_ and me? Co-operation? Not possible. And _personal differences_? There are so many, it'll take years to set them all aside! He'll spend half his time asking me out! And as for _abusing powers_, just watch Potter, Slytherin will have lost about two hundred points by the end of next week; you wait and see. AND I have to spend TWO HOURS locked in a classroom with HIM? What can we possibly - "

Much as Emma liked her friend, she was rather grateful when Professor Dumbledore rose to welcome everyone, cutting Lily off in the middle of her tirade.

**&&&-;**

All too soon (in Lily's opinion), Monday evening arrived, and by 6 o'clock, she was in a mixed mood. Her classes had been fairly good, excepting Transfiguration, which she was beginning to worry about. On the other hand, the thought of spending two hours in a room with James Potter, trying to be polite, was not a happy one, and as the minutes ticked by, she began to dread the idea.

At ten to seven, Lily put her books away. She would have much preferred to stay in the library with Emma and do some reading, but she had no wish to get in Professor McGonagall's bad books on Day One.

Emma looked up in surprise as she got to her feet. "Surely you can't have finished all your homework this quickly?"

Lily nodded and picked up her bag. "Put it this way Em. At least if I feel the need to throw something at Potter after the meeting, I can do it without worrying that I have to finish a Potions essay as well." She smiled sardonically, and walked off.

"Good luck!" Emma called after her, earning herself a reproving glare from Madam Pince, the librarian.

With a sinking feeling, Lily reached the Transfiguration classroom and pushed the door open. Professor McGonagall was already waiting for her, and James was lounging on one of the chairs.

"Good evening, Miss Evans. Take a seat." Lily sat down on the chair next to James and dropped her bag on the floor.

"You're actually here _on time_, Potter?" she muttered.

"Oh, I usually am, just not for lessons," James replied, shooting her a grin that melted most girls' hearts. Lily remained untouched.

"Well, now that you are both here, I suppose I can begin. I know that the two of you do not always see . . . eye-to-eye." McGonagall eyed them both beadily, and the two seventh-years shifted uncomfortably. "However, the Headmaster and myself hope that as you seem to exhibit very worthy qualities in your own rights, you will be able to combine them and put them to good use."

"Your responsibilities as Head Boy and Girl are to set an example to the other students. You should at least _try_ to keep up good grades, and stay out of childish fights." Here James grinned guiltily. "Unlike Prefects, you do not need authority to give out detentions, and you may take away points, providing that there are _reasonable circumstances_." Again, McGonagall gave James a Look, and continued. "You may have to deal with planning various school events and other things for the student body, and although you must make the plans, the Prefects are on hand to help you execute them."

Professor McGonagall looked down at a piece of parchment. "Now, your first task. I have no doubt that both of you are aware of the problems growing outside the school walls, both political and social. The Headmaster has decided that to raise the students' morale, two school events can be organised. They should be different, and involve the students in something enjoyable. Have you any ideas?"

For a few moments, there was silence.

"How about a fancy dress competition for the whole school?" James suggested. "We could hold it at Halloween, instead of the Feast, and have judges and things. We could even get some other entertainment as well!"

Lily considered the idea. "That might work," she said thoughtfully. "We could choose finalists, and then have a proper ball at Christmas where the winner could be announced."

"That would be an excellent proposal," Professor McGonagall said approvingly. "I shall pass it on to Professor Dumbledore. Do be aware that whatever you choose to do, it should be cost-effective. I'll leave you to discuss your options now." She stood up and gathered her books.

"You know, I do believe Dumbledore was right. When you two work together, you do appear to compliment each other very well." Giving them the merest hint of a smile, she swept out of the room. The door swung shut behind her.

James and Lily remained quiet, neither wanting to be the first to speak. Eventually, Lily sighed.

"Well, we're never going to get anywhere if we don't do anything. Are we decided on the fancy dress contest and the ball?"

To her surprise, James nodded. She hadn't expected him to be so . . . mature about this.

"Ok," she said briskly. Pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill, she began scribbling something down. James watched curiously. It appeared to be a list. She threw it across to him when she had finished.

"_Halloween Contest_," he read. "_Things to consider. Name. Place. Food. Music. Drinks. Decorations. Time. Space. Order of events. Arrangements. Pre-contest and post-contest clearance. Judges. Commentator?_" He put the list down. "It's going to be a lot of work. Honestly Lily, why'd you have to be so organised? It looks even worse this way."

For some reason, his remark stung. "Well _maybe_ I just like being prepared," Lily said, her teeth gritted.

"Or _maybe_ you don't like surprises," James shot back at her. "Just admit it Lily. You like to be in control of everything!"

"Like you don't?" Lily argued, her volume growing to match his.

"I don't!" Blotches of red appeared on James' cheeks and his hazel eyes were darkening. "I prefer to live life one day at a time and _enjoy_ it. _You_ think that if you haven't planned something in advance, it's going to be awful!"

"Oh and all of this comes from Mr I've-Never-Planned-Anything-In-My-Life-Least-Of-All-A-Prank?"

By this time, both of them were on their feet, Lily mentally psyching herself up for any insults coming her way, and so she was startled when James turned abruptly away from her. When he turned around again, his cheeks were back to normal, and his eyes had returned to their usual colour, although he was evidently still struggling to keep control of himself.

"This is exactly what we _weren't_ supposed to do," he said, his voice at its original level.

Lily looked him in the eye for a moment, and seeing that he was sincere, made an effort to calm herself down too. "I guess we did turn into . . ."

"Monsters?" James supplied.

"Yeah." She looked around. "Maybe we should leave it here for today, in case we do something else . . . well, stupid."

James grinned. "Ok. We have the, uh . . . the basics sorted out." Sheepishly, he handed the now-crumpled list back to Lily.

Lily pushed it into her bag. "See you here next week Potter."

James paused, his hand on the doorknob.

"James," he said.

"Huh?"

"My name is James."

"I know that," Lily said, feeling confused.

"Well, maybe you should use it then." He smiled at her, and disappeared.

**&-;**

Later on, Emma gasped as Lily told her what had happened.

"Lily!"

"What?" Lily threw a pillow at her.

"For heavens sake, Lils, are you COMPLETELY blind? You're telling me that James Potter actually did the adult thing for once and backed out of a fight with you? And he didn't even ask you out afterwards? _Tell_ me that's not weird."

Lily considered it. Now that she thought about it, Emma was right. James _had_ changed.

**&&&&&&&&&-;**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!


	4. Prefect Business

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. There've been a few more alterations than before in this chapter, with regard to some of the dialogue, because when I reread it, I thought it seemed a bit stilted, so I redid bits. Anyway, enjoy chapter 4 (again!)!**

**-**

**Chapter 4: Prefect Business**

Owls swept into the Great Hall the next morning, just as Emma and Lily were getting up to leave. To their surprise, a handsome, but unfamiliar barn owl flew down and dropped an envelope into Emma's arms, which was strangely heavy. Emma slit the envelope open and read it as they walked to Charms.

"What does it say?" Lily asked.

"I'm . . . I'm a Prefect." Emma said weakly.

"What? No! Yes!" Lily nearly dropped her bag. "Well done, Em!"

Emma shook the envelope out onto her hand, and a small badge fell out – a 'P' superimposed over the Gryffindor Lion. She held it out to Lily, who took it and examined it.

"That's definitely a Prefects badge. But why'd you only get it now?"

"Because you became Head Girl," Emma held up the letter. "They had to find someone to take over the Prefect job, since you can't do both, so I got it."

"Well, congratulations Em. There's no one I can think of in the whole year who deserves it more than you!" Lily hugged her best friend.

Emma continued to read the letter, leaving Lily peering into her bag, until a soft gasp made her look up. Emma was staring at the parchment, her mouth open.

"What is it?" Lily asked impatiently, when Emma did not say anything. "Are you working personally with Narcissa or something?"

"No, I – I have to work with . . . Remus." Emma's voice had gone very quiet.

"Yeah, obviously. I thought you already knew that." Lily raised her eyebrows and gave Emma an arch look. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No," said Emma, a little too quickly. "Nope, nothing, nothing at all."

"Yeah, right," Lily said. "Emma, you're not telling -"

Just then the door opened, and Lily forgot to continue as they were ushered into the classroom for a demanding hour of Charms.

**-**

After Potions, the last class of the day, another thing occurred to intrigue Lily. Sirius pulled her aside and asked if he could speak to her in private. Startled, she agreed, and waved Emma past. Once everyone had left the classroom, Sirius dragged her up several passages until they were standing in a small alcove off a rarely used corridor. He turned to face her. "Ok, I know we don't know each other very well, and I know you think I'm just a prankster, but you have to believe what I'm going to tell you."

"Okay," Lily said, uncertainly.

"James told me what happened last night, and he said that you nearly got into another fight. I'm right so far, aren't I?"

Lily nodded.

"He said that for a moment, he nearly lost his temper. That's why I got you here." He paused for a moment. "Look, I know this sounds insane, but when James really, properly loses his temper, it's scary. I've only been on the receiving end once, but that was enough, because it is _bad_."

"So let me get this straight. You're telling me to be careful because James has a bad temper?" Lily said incredulously. "He's usually so . . . cheery."

"Yeah, because he keeps it under wraps. Go and ask Daniel Jordan in the year below us; he was given a dose of it two years ago, and he's still scared to come near James. My point is. . . just take care. I'm warning you in advance here."

"Why are you telling me this now?" Lily had no idea what to think. Then, suddenly, another thought occurred to her. "And aren't you a bit late – we've been arguing for years now. Are you seriously telling me that he's _never_ been angry with me before, because I have a hard time believing that."

"Lily, the boy spent most of his time arguing with you because his ulterior motive was to get you to go out with him, and the only way you'd talk to him was to fight with him. It was all just . . .fun. For him, anyway. He never _seriously_ lost his temper with you. For another thing, you two are going to have to work together for the rest of the year, whatever happens, and I know that James lik – respects you, so I don't think he'd want you to get hurt." Sirius appeared to be talking with such sincerity that against her better instincts, Lily felt herself believing him.

"I don't know what you're like when you get angry – actually, wait a minute maybe I do," (Lily smiled, thinking of the many times that she had yelled at the Marauders), "but anyway, just . . . try not to get into a big fight."

Although for some reason, Lily found herself accepting that he wasn't making things up, there was still a part of her that rebelled against his advice. Perhaps it was this part that made her reply so snappishly. "Ok, thanks for this, but if you think that I'm going to back down from something that I think is right, just because James has a nasty temper, then you _clearly_ don't know me very well."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," muttered Sirius, but he let Lily push past him and walk off, wondering why she was cursed with classmates like the Marauders.

**-**

After the first week, the days passed swiftly, and Lily found herself caught in the everlasting tangle of classes, homework, and arrangements for the contest. Two weeks before Halloween, the notices went up, inviting everyone to take part in the fancy-dress competition, with plenty of food and mystery entertainment afterwards. Emma, being fairly artistic, had helped with these, painting and duplicating the notices.

As far as co-operation went, Lily discovered that she was beginning to like James more as a friend. True, they still had at least one fight every meeting, these were becoming more friendly than aggressive, and James had proved to be both resourceful and funny.

What astonished Lily most of all was that the arrogant air that she had associated with him for the last six years, had gone completely, and he had not asked her out once during the time they were forced to be together; he was much nicer for it. Astonishingly enough, he seemed to have gone right to the other extreme; he had not been seen flirting with girls since the beginning of seventh year, despite Sirius' usual girl-chasing antics. Now, Lily and Emma found themselves eating with the Marauders at least once every few days.

Although for six years, Lily had done her best to maintain a distant relationship with James, she now noticed that she was running into him more and more often. The situation was not helped when two professors decided to shift their students around. Professor Flitwick's seating plan meant that Lily and Emma were partnered with James and Remus respectively. Then, Professor Astor, growing tired of James' and Sirius' everlasting inattention to lessons, switched James with Peter, leaving James and Remus sitting directly behind Lily and Emma. Lily observed that she was not the only one who was becoming slightly disgruntled with the whole thing; Emma looked like Christmas had been cancelled when she found out who she was to be working with in Charms, though Lily could see no reason why.

A week before Halloween, disaster struck in the form of Professor McGonagall. Lily was perfectly aware that she had issues with the subject; she had only just scraped an 'E' on her OWL and things had not got any better. After yet another problematic lesson on animal transfiguration that Friday, she packed up, resolving to do something about it over the weekend, when Professor McGonagall cornered her.

"Miss Evans, I am sure that you realise that you have some difficulties regarding this subject."

Lily launched into an explanation. "Professor, I know my grades aren't very good, it's just that I . . . I need some practice on animals, which I _will_ do, over the weekend, and I'm thinking about getting someone to tutor me, just to help me out."

McGonagall's face visibly relaxed. "Yes, I was going to suggest that. Perhaps someone like Mr. Lupin? It does not need to be permanent; I just feel that some extra help might clear up a few of your problems."

"Of course, Professor," and with that, Lily hurried out of the classroom. She spent most of Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms contemplating the idea of a tutor, and after dinner, she caught up with Remus, James and Sirius, who were heading up the stairs.

"Remus! Hey, REMUS!"

Remus looked back, and waited for her to catch up.

"What's the matter?" he asked, when she had got her breath back.

"Nothing, it's just that I have a favour to ask you. The thing is – the thing is," Lily stumbled over her words. "I'm sort of having some . . . problems with animal transfiguration, so I was wondering if you would mind just helping me out, like, next Thursday or something?"

Remus' brow contracted. "I'm really sorry, Lily, but I'm busy all next week. I know someone who could help, though; they're much better at it than I am. Hang on." He raised his voice. "Oi, Prongs!"

It took a few moments for her to process this, but when James turned round, her worst fears were confirmed. "No, it's alright, really," she protested weakly, but Remus ignored her.

"Prongs, would you help Lily with Transfiguration next Thursday? She's got a few problems."

James' eyes swept Lily up and down, as if expecting her to say it was a joke. "Lily? Help? Lily Evans?"

Recovering herself, Lily rolled her eyes. "_No_ James, the _other_ Lily Evans in your class."

"Sorry, just wouldn't have expected _you_ to be asking for help from _me_." He shrugged.

"Whatever. And for the record, that was Remus asking, not me. The point is, can you help?"

James nodded. "Sure. Library, eight o'clock?"

"Ok. See you there." With that, Lily walked off, ignoring the whoop that came from Sirius as she turned the corner. Suddenly, she very much dreaded Thursday.

**-**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!


	5. Angst In Plenty

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it.**

**-**

**Chapter 5: Angst In Plenty**

Monday evening cane and went, Lily and James frantically (well, as frantically as James could manage) finalising the schedule and arrangements for Halloween. They made time on Tuesday for an extra meeting, and with all the work that she had put in, Lily felt confident enough to put the contest aside and concentrate on her neglected homework in the library, early on Thursday evening. She had managed to secure a corner table, one of the more secluded study areas, with a large table ensconced on two sides by the walls, and on the other two by tall, almost floor-to-ceiling bookcases, with a small gap in between, so that students could enter and leave, and also so that Madam Pince could keep an eye on what was going on. All in all, it was very private, and Lily was feeling fairly content as she worked peacefully on a Charms essay, trying hard not to think of the upcoming tutoring session.

Suddenly, Emma stalked into the Lily's alcove, almost threw herself and her bag down, and buried her head in her arms. Lily eyed her cautiously.

"Em?" she asked in a whisper.

Long moments passed. Distantly, Lily heard the library door swing open, and footsteps enter, come near them, and then stop at the tables next to their area.

"Em, what's wrong?" she asked again Emma finally lifted her head, and Lily was startled to see that it was tear-streaked. What could have happened at a Prefects' meeting to make Emma react like this? She moved over to Emma's side, and put her arm round her. "Em, what happened? Did Malfoy or Narcissa say something?"

Emma shook her head mutely. "It's not them." She swallowed. "It's Remus."

Lily heard a soft gasp somewhere, but was too confused to register it. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Did he do something to you, Em? Because if he did, I swear I'll -"

Emma smiled shakily, but her mouth soon drooped. "It's nothing he did, Lily. Well, not really."

Lily still looked (and felt) bewildered. "Ok, seeing as I can't understand anything, let's start at the beginning. What happened in the Prefects meeting to make you so . . . like this?"

"It's nothing m-much." Emma swiped at her eyes fiercely. "Just that we were organising who would help with what for Halloween, so me and Remus signed up for setting everything up with you and James,. And afterwards, everyone was really happy, because mostly everything was sorted, so we were all smiling and hugging each other. And – and Remus h-hugged me." She dissolved into tears again, and Lily was shocked to see how helplessly her friend was crying. Emma was always so calm, and composed, and self-controlled.

"I can't take it anymore," she mumbled through her tears.

Comprehension dawned. "Em, you don't . . . do you _like_ Remus?"

"I don't like him." Emma sniffed. "I hate him. I hate that he can do this to me. I hate him so much. I-I think I love him."

Lily gaped openly. "_What?_"

"I-I should have – should have told you b-before. I nearly did, when I first found out I was Prefect, and you were asking me. I've – I've liked him since fifth year. And I've t-tried to handle it, through all the meetings and lessons, but this was the last straw. I worked so hard to hide it, and I can't do that anymore."

Lily stared, She had sometimes suspected that Emma was hiding something, but she had no idea that this was the reason that her friend always seemed so tense about Prefect meetings. She put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Oh, Em."

Emma again swiped ineffectually at her cheeks, and swallowed.

"I've decided," she said in a stronger voice. "I'm going to Dumbledore first thing tomorrow to hand in my badge. I don't want to feel like this all the time around him."

"No! You can't! Emma, please!"

"It's no good. It's too difficult, trying to act all the time. I think I might ask Professor Flitwick to move me as well."

Lily thought fast. "Look Emma, can't we at least talk about it? Come on, let's go to the dormitory."

Hastily, she shoved her things into her bag, and Emma wiped her red eyes with a tissue. Lily pushed her out, and picked up her own bag, but Emma had frozen, a few steps ahead. Moving forward, Lily saw what the problem was.

Remus Lupin had been sitting at the alcove next to theirs.

In one horrified glance, Lily took in everything. The parchment scattered over the table, proof that he must have genuinely been working. The bottle of ink that had spilled over the table as he stood up hastily. Worst of all, the proximity of the table to the bookcase that divided the areas. There was no way he could _not_ have heard everything Emma had said; one bookcase separating two tables a foot apart was not enough to block sound. _That_ much was evident from the way that he was staring at Emma, with his mouth open. Emma stared straight back at him for what seemed like an eternity, her face aghast. Then, with a terrified sob, she fled from the library. Taking a last glance at Remus' gobsmacked expression, Lily followed, only catching up with her friend on the stairs to the dormitory.

**-**

Half an hour later, Lily had managed to calm Emma down, convinced her not to hand in her badge until at least after Halloween, and even persuaded her to go down and eat something. Emma rinsed her face and went, leaving Lily to bleakly realise that it was time to go down herself and meet James. Here comes the tutor from hell, she thought, as she opened the library door.

James was waiting for her in the same alcove where Emma had recently made such a dramatic confession, and Lily could not help but feel a slight sense of foreboding. Little did she foresee what was about to take place.

As she arrived, James was unloading a heap of books from his bag. He grinned as she stared in dismay at the pile.

"Don't worry. These are just a few books I got out for Remus."

'Good,' Lily said, in relief, still feeling a slight twinge at the name dropped.

"Well, let's do this, then," and with that, he drew out a small white mouse, and placed it on the desk, holding its tail. Lily looked nonplussed.

"I know how to do that. I've known how to do that since fifth year."

"Exactly!" James said. "So you should start with what you _do_ know, and then get to what you don't." He pointed his wand at the opening between the bookcases and muttered something. "A Silencing Charm," he explained. "That way we can talk, and Pince won't hear."

Three quarters of an hour later, Lily had successfully Transfigured five mice, three newts, and one fat bullfrog, all of which James had magically **(A/N, no pun intended!) **produced from his bag. Oddly enough, Lily was actually feeling comfortable with the situation; James still laughed at her mistakes, but it was more of an unsarcastic one, and he had kept her spirits up fairly well.

Reaching into his bag once again, James produced what could only conceivably be a chicken, except that it was limp.

"Don't worry, it's fake. _Enervate_." The fake bird rose up and began to scratch and peck at the table very realistically. For the millionth time, James rooted around in the bag.

"Damn, I've left the next bit up in my room." He looked warily at Lily, who was sizing up the chicken. "I'll go up and get it, if you think you can handle this by yourself?"

Lily nodded.

"Ok then. Be right back. You get to work."

She watched his disappearing back as he left the library, and then turned her attention to the chicken, which was now flapping its wings in a despondent way. She cleared her throat.

"_Aura Metamorphi_," she said.

What happened next was slightly confusing.

The chicken . . . exploded, soundlessly, and yellow gunk spewed out onto Lily.

For seconds, Lily stared, motionless, at the remains of the bird lying on the table, her mind blank.

Slowly, she lowered her wand, just as James came back in, carrying (surprisingly) another bag. He stopped short at the sight in front of him, and his mouth twisted into a grin. 'What the hell happened?'

As if in a dream, Lily looked past him, in the direction he had come from, and saw Sirius and Peter's faces peering in between books, doing their best to hide smirks. Sirius. Peter. James. Lily's mind flicked from one to the other, and something clicked.

This had all been a joke.

A big joke.

She turned round and began to put her books and wand into her own bag.

"Lily?" James sounded puzzled. "_Scourgify_." The yellow stuff disappeared from the shelves and floor, although it was still on Lily's robes. She stood up.

"Your friends are over there," she said coolly. James looked at the bookcase confusedly (acting innocent, a voice in Lily's head said), and a look of understanding broke out on his face.

"You think that – I can explain – I had –"

"Save it, _Potter_," she said evenly. Head held high, she walked calmly out of the library; past Madam Pince, past staring students, and out through the double doors, into the cool air of the corridor.

Only then did she begin to run.

She ran blindly. Behind her, she could hear distant shouts of "Lily!" and feet pounding, as James raced after her in hot pursuit; or perhaps that was not just feet, but the pounding of her own heart as well; her head whirling in a flurry of confused thoughts and emotions to match the pace of her legs. In such a turbid state of mind, it was no wonder that she lost her way several times, and was beginning to get a stitch when she finally reached a passage she recognised. She hurtled the length of the corridor and skidded to a halt in front of the Fat Lady.

"_Amica fidele_," she gasped at the portrait, clutching her side.

"LILY!" The voice sounded closer, as did the footsteps.

"What on earth have you been doing?" said the Fat Lady curiously.

"LILY! WAIT!" Lily looked back to see James turning the corner, his face red with effort.

"Please, just open!" she begged desperately. She could feel a tingling sensation in her throat, and cast another panicked look behind her. If she didn't get away, she was going to –

"Oh, very well," said the Fat Lady, sniffily, and she swung open.

Just as James reached it, the portrait closed, and the few seconds that it took him to say the password were all that Lily needed. She sprang across the Common Room, attracting even more attention, and was halfway up the stairs when James scrambled through the hole and sprinted after her. 'Please! WAIT!' he shouted, but it was too late. Lily had already reached the top and the staircase smoothed out into a slide, transporting James all the way down to the bottom. Disconsolately, he flung himself onto the bottom step and put his head in his hands.

Mind working on autopilot, Lily darted down the corridor leading to her dorm. She had to get there before -. Throwing open the door, she entered the silent, dark room, and hurled her bag haphazardly onto the bed, not noticing as all the contents spilled out.

She slumped against the wall, and slid down into a sitting position. Despite the mess on her robes, she rested her head on her arms, and began to cry.

-

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon! The stupid site isn't spacing my chapter out, though, so sorry if it's a little confusing!


	6. A Most Uncomfortable Day

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear! **

**IMPORTANT: Unfortunately, due to some sort of problem with editing, which has never yet been fixed, I'm having a bit of a problem finding a symbol that can show a break between events. If you see ""-"", then that is the equivalent of a line between the paragraphs, to break up the passage. Got it? Good!**

**"-"**

**Chapter 6: A Most Uncomfortable Day**

"Lils?" said a voice uncertainly.

Emma stepped into the dormitory and flicked on the light. "Lils, are you in here? 'Cause James is sitting at the bottom of our staircase, and he says he won't move until you come down . . ." she trailed off as she caught sight of Lily, almost completely hidden behind the bed. "Oh my – Lily! Look at you! What happened?" Rushing over as Lily lifted her face, she scrabbled on the bedside table for tissues and handed them to her. As Lily mopped her face, covered in snot and tears, and her swollen red eyes, Emma attempted to get the mucky robe off her. Once done, she held it up, and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Lils, what's going on?"

"You were right, Em. Boys are prats, and they're too hard to be close to." Wiping her nose again, she related the whole sordid story to Emma, whose calm face got paler and paler as she carried on, regardless of the fact that tears were beginning to fall again even as she spoke.

"Oh, _Lily_," Emma murmured at last, sympathetically. She handed her another tissue. "Look, the best thing to do will be to completely ignore this. They just have a sick, twisted sense of humour, and you got caught on the end of it, so you should just forget about them."

"It's not that." Lily shuffled back on her bed and crossed her legs. "I – For a while, until now, I was actually beginning to – to _like_ James, in a way. I trusted him to help me. Now I feel like such an idiot, because I shouldn't have expected anything to change."

"Yes you should." Emma scooted closer, leaning in conspiratorially, but earnestly. "James _has_ changed. I don't know how many times I've told you this, but he has. He doesn't go out with anyone anymore – I haven't even seen him _flirting_ with girls; he isn't so arrogant, and he doesn't hex people for no reason. There's something different now, Lil."

""-""

The next day was exceptionally awkward.

Lily woke up, and the memories came flooding back into her head. Getting dressed quickly, she sneaked down to the kitchens and took a few things back to the dorm. She and Emma shared a quick breakfast on their beds.

As luck would have it, it was Friday, meaning that they had several classes with the Marauders. Lily and Emma got to Charms early, and Lily put her bag down next to Emma. When James sauntered in, he looked surprised.

"Lily? You sit next to me in this lesson."

Lily pulled out a piece of parchment, and scribbled a message on it, which she held up.

_I'M SITTING WITH EMMA. GET LOST, POTTER._

"But, Lily, please. I really need to talk to you."

She scribbled something else and held it up.

_TOUGH LUCK. GO AWAY._

"I tried to find you before classes, but you weren't anywhere I could see you. Where did you go?"

_GO AWAY._

Just then, Remus came in, and a look of surprise flitted over his face as well. He walked straight up to them. "Emma, I thought we sat together."

Emma avoided his eyes, choosing to focus instead on her bag. "Yeah, well, we aren't today."

"But," Remus began, just as Professor Flitwick came in, and said cheerily, "Good morning class. Do sit down." There was no choice but for James and Remus to take the empty seats in front of the girls. Judging by the amount of whispering that the two spent the lesson doing, Lily guessed that each had so far been unaware of the other's situation.

""-""

Lunch was another tricky affair. Although Lily had planned to eat quickly and get out, James was too fast for her. Just as she was halfway through her shepherd's pie, he came and seated himself next to her with the determined air of someone who intended to get his own way. "Lily, if you would just listen -" he began.

"So, Emma, have you finished your Potions essay yet?" Lily said over James in a loud voice, turning her back pointedly on him. "I lost track of what I was doing about halfway through, I just waffled on about nothing for about two feet."

Emma gave James a quick look, before replying softly, "I haven't done it yet."

Just then, Remus strolled in. He looked around before noticing them, and although he faltered in step when he saw Emma, he resolutely put his bag down. Emma looked round, and jumped slightly as she saw him smile hesitantly at her. Dropping her fork on the table, she hastily stood up. "I should really get started on that essay now, in fact." She climbed over the bench.

"I'll come with you." Lily finished her last mouthful and rose, casting an eye at Emma, who was already halfway across the Hall. She smiled sympathetically at Remus, gave James the dirtiest glare she could muster, and left.

""-""

Thankfully, Herbology passed without incident, and Lily was able to spend a peaceful hour repotting Dreamy Dandelions with Emma and a pair of friendly Hufflepuffs. She was not expecting any trouble in Defence Against the Dark Arts either, because the boys sat behind them, as opposed to beside them, but there she was wrong. She had been sitting down for five minutes when an unfamiliar, middle-aged woman came in and set her briefcase down on the desk.

"I am your substitute teacher today, as Professor Astor is ill. My name is Professor Stuart. Now, I have work for you . . ."

Within a quarter of an hour, it became apparent that Professor Stuart was completely incapable of controlling a class. Having set them a few pages of questions from the textbook, she retired behind a large blue tome with no title, and the class was left to its own devices, more or less, which obviously did not include studying. Lily and Emma were the only two writing industriously.

Pausing to consider an answer, Lily was startled to see a piece of parchment fall onto the book. Curiously, she opened it, and read the contents before screwing it up again and pushing it to a side. In James' messy scrawl, it had read:

_Lily, would you PLEASE listen to me?_

Minutes later, another ball of parchment landed on the desk. This time, Lily didn't bother reading it – she simply moved it to one side and continued working. The more she ignored the notes, the more that came, and soon, Emma, who had been opening them all and trying to put them where Lily would read them, had built up an entire one-sided conversation.

_Just give me a chance to explain, and you can hate my guts in peace after that if you want to._

_Can't you listen to anything I've said, Lily?_

_Any answer at all would be good here._

_Please?_

_Stop ignoring these! And Emma, Remus says he needs to talk to you._

At this last note, Emma snorted, and wrote something on the parchment. Lily looked over her shoulder, her interest at last aroused.

_If he really wants to talk to me, he doesn't need you as a mediator. –Emma._

The reply came back, as fast as lightning.

_Fine. Emma, this is Remus. I need to talk to you._

Scribbling furiously, Emma wrote something else and threw it behind again.

_Well I don't want to talk. Please leave me be._

Although the note came sailing back, Emma ignored it. Lily took this as a sign that the brief exchange was at an end, and returned to discussing the finer points of hex deflection. She made very sure that James was in a perfect viewing position at the end of the lesson as she ripped up each of his notes separately into tiny pieces and threw them in the bin before stalking out. Emma appeared at her shoulder as she went. "Lily, that wasn't fair."

"What wasn't?" Lily asked innocently.

"What you just did. I know you're angry and hurt, but wasn't ignoring the notes enough? If you wanted to throw the notes away, then you didn't have to do it _that_ way. That was just spiteful. Don't bring yourself low just to make him feel bad."

"What would YOU know about it, Em?" Lily yelled suddenly, making people around her jump. "You like someone, and it's your own fault that you won't do anything about it! I thought you were on my side!"

"I _am_ on your side, Lily," said Emma, in a voice that was much cooler than usual. "But that does _not_ mean that I can support what you did. It was downright mean."

Lily subsided a little. "All right," she said, in a pacified tone. "I won't do it again. But I _still_ refuse to acknowledge that he exists."

A flicker of hope had crossed Emma's face as she said the first sentence, but it faded again as she said the second. She was wise enough not to push it.

They walked on in silence. Lily could almost feel the cold waves of hurt radiating off her friend.

"Emma?" she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did about you. I didn't mean it, I was just angry." She touched Emma on the arm, and swung her around to face her. "Friends?"

To her relief, Emma smiled. "Forever." She pulled her into a hug, but then let go and stood at arms' length. "Just be careful what you say in a heated moment, Lils. You might regret it afterwards." She looked at her watch and sighed. "Now, can we _please_ go to dinner?"

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!


	7. Halloween I The Morning Before

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 7: Halloween I – The Morning Before**

A dreamy landscape blurred into reality. Blinking, James rolled over, and taking his glasses from the bedside table, he peered at his clock. A split second later he had swung himself out of bed and dashed to the bathroom.

He swore as he attempted to brush his teeth and wash his face at the same time. Back in the dormitory, he noticed Remus' neatly made-up bed opposite. _Why didn't he wake me up?_ he wondered, as he frantically pulled on a pair of jeans and the first t-shirt he could find. He had known just as well as James that they were both due to help set up in the hall for the Halloween festivities that evening. Yanking any two socks on and stuffing his feet into his trainers, James scrambled down to the Great Hall, where he was met by a very disapproving McGonagall.

"And just where have you been, Mr Potter?"

"Sorry," James said apologetically, running a hand unconsciously through his hair. He followed her past the doors into the Hall. Remus was already there, doing something to a heap of pumpkins. Emma stood about five feet away, apparently using her wand to charm candles into having different-coloured flames.

"Seeing as you are late," McGonagall said curtly, "you may as well begin moving the tables and chairs." She indicated with a wave of her hand the stacked tables around the edges of the chamber. "You will do it without magic."

"But Professor," James began.

"No buts," McGonagall said firmly. "Now, the positions for the tables are marked on the ground . . ."

James' gaze around the room was suddenly arrested in a corner. He had been wondering distantly where the Head Girl herself was, but he had obviously not recognised her. Lily had climbed up onto a pile of tables, and appeared to be attaching strings of decorations to the walls. Her long red hair was loose, falling straight down her back. It was her clothing that made James suddenly feel so dizzy. He had never seen her wear anything quite so casual, yet so . . . provocative, and so _revealing_. She was dressed in blue denim jeans, black trainers, and a white tank top with spaghetti straps. It accentuated her slender figure perfectly. While McGonagall droned on, James watched Lily fiddling with something. His stomach did a flip-flop, and he almost had to stifle a groan as she stretched up to put it on the wall. As she raised her arms, a few inches of creamy skin at her waist were exposed, and her slim waist and narrow hips looked even more obvious. James couldn't understand how he hadn't noticed before what a beautiful figure she had. Then again, he reasoned with himself, wizarding robes didn't reveal much, and neither did the baggy sweatshirts that she usually wore. James felt a blush rise in his cheeks as she extended herself again . . . and that wasn't the only part of his body that reacted to the sight.

" . . . six chairs will be quite sufficient. MR POTTER, ARE YOU LISTENING?"

James looked guiltily back at Professor McGonagall. "Yes Professor, sorry."

"Well then, you had better get on with the job." McGonagall was quite clearly still miffed with him, but James's gaze had drifted back to Lily. She had stiffened in mid-reach when McGonagall had shouted out his name, and there was no way that she could not know that he had arrived. Mentally forcing himself _not_ to look at her again, he made his way over to Remus and began pulling a table from a stack. Remus looked down at his feet and smirked.

"Nice socks, Prongs. Is it a new way to pick up the girls?"

James looked down as well. He was wearing mismatched socks; one with a pattern of Snitches on it, and the other with pumpkins.

"Well, I _would_ have been able to find a proper pair if you'd woken me up on time," he said, through gritted teeth.

"I did," Remus said serenely. "You called me a wanker and rolled over."

Having no reply for this, James simply snorted and lifted up the table again to begin his arduous task. As he positioned it over one of the yellow dots on the floor, which McGonagall had said were marked on to show where tables should be placed, he surveyed the stacks around him. This was going to take a while.

&-

Half an hour later, James was aching all over. The circular tables, pretty as they looked, were very heavy, and although he was almost three-quarters of the way through, his arms were killing, and his head was aching from trying _not_ to stare at Lily too much as she continued to work. Remus had finished charming the pumpkins and was now positioning them to float over the tables in mid-air, while Emma placed candles in and lit them. It was quite obvious to even the most innocent and uninformed bystander that she was putting a great effort into not exchanging more than a few sentences with Remus as they worked; invariably, she would find something else to concentrate on, or somewhere else to go every time he came near.

More than anything, James now wished that he had woken up in time to get dressed properly. The t-shirt he had thrown on had already been one of those which were too tight in the chest region, and now, soaked with sweat as he was, it was clinging uncomfortably snugly to his body, revealing rather too much of him. He felt horribly exposed, and if it were not for the wrath of McGonagall, and more importantly, of a certain red-head, he would have gone up to change long ago. As it was, he simply gritted his teeth (again), attempted to pull his shirt down (again), and began dragging another table (again).

THUMP.

James whirled round in time to see Emma crumple to the floor, and a pumpkin roll away.

He swore and started towards them. Remus had knelt down beside her, very pale, trying to wake her up.

"EMMA!" Lily cried. Lithe as a cat, she sprang off the table lightly and ran over.

Carefully, she lifted Emma's head from where it was lying in Remus' lap, and examined it. There was a gash on the top, which was bleeding freely onto her hair.

Remus groaned, but Lily smiled at him sympathetically.

"She'll be fine. What hit her? A pumpkin?" Her eyes moved round the hall, pointedly avoiding James, and came to rest on the stray orange ball lying in the middle of the floor. "That one?"

"I-I was levitating the pumpkins and I sort of – lost concentration, and it fell." Remus smiled weakly. "Nothing happened to the pumpkin of course, it has an Unbreakable Charm on it – it's just Emma . . ." He gestured at her.

"Well, Madam Pomfrey can heal stuff like this in a minute, so you'd better take her to the Hospital Wing," James said.

Lily fished in her pocket, and produced a piece of cloth – James had no idea what it was for. "Put this on the wound and put pressure on it."

Remus stood, bringing Emma's prone form with him. "Are you sure _you_ shouldn't take her? I mean, I'm hardly the first person she'll want to see. She'll probably kill me when she finds out."

Lily put her hands on her hips.

"Remus Lupin, stop being such a coward. She will NOT kill you, because I know what she's like, and besides, do you really think I would be able to carry her? Take her up."

Gingerly, Remus lifted Emma into his arms, supporting her unconscious head on his chest. He slowly took her out. Lily and James were left standing there, watching the empty doors. Lily turned round to James. For a moment, he thought that she was going to say something; her mouth opened – but then she gave him a sad look and walked away to clamber back up on a stack of tables and continue decorating. Sighing inwardly, James went back to hoisting the tables.

Despite the fact that it had been quiet before, the tense, uncomfortable silence that now pervaded the hall was deafening. James knew it was no use talking to her – he needed to wait until he was in a situation where she had no way of avoiding or ignoring him – but he still felt thoroughly depressed as he wiped his forehead. This could have been so much more fun and less like work if they were being normal. They would have been laughing together and joking, not standing at opposite ends of the hall, trapped in their own silence.

Eventually, James looked round, and groaned quietly. Reluctantly, he approached the final stack of tables, upon which Lily was standing. He cleared his throat to announce his proximity, and she froze at once.

"Uhm, I need to move the tables. That you're on, I mean."

Lily turned and shot a glance round the room. When she had satisfied herself that there were indeed no other tables that he could move, she sighed, dusted her hands off on her jeans, and slid down. Without a backward glance, she marched over to the remaining pile of pumpkins and began to continue what Remus and Emma had been doing. James finished the tables and started on the chairs. Taking up a pile of cloths, Lily began to polish the tables and spread tablecloths on then. She managed to completely stay away from any area that James was working in, and did not open her mouth once.

Finally, around two o'clock, the job was finished, and James appraised the room with no small feeling of contentment. Lily turned on her heel and walked away. Acting on impulse, James hurried after, casting around for a statement, a question, _anything_.

"Lily?" he said as he caught up with her. "Do we need to be there early tonight?"

"No," Lily said, so quietly that he barely heard her, and she lengthened her strides and quickened her pace.

Unfortunately for her, James, being taller, had no problem in matching her speed.

"Are you sure?" he queried, as casually as he could manage.

"Yes. Can't you just leave me alone? Please!" Lily was beginning to feel very much in need of something to soothe her nerves – it was the effect that James had had on her for the last few days, since the library incident.

James did not reply. He slowed down, allowing her to walk on ahead, and then headed up to his dorm, only to be met by a very excited Sirius.

"Have you heard about Fay Fletcher? People say she's going to dress as a hooker! I can't wait for the whole contest thing, mine is going to be the BEST." He began bouncing around the room, singing loudly, albeit slightly off-key. "_Oh I just can't wait for tonight!_" (**A/N: This is to the tune of 'Oh I just can't wait to be king' from the Lion King. And yes, I know that Sirius wouldn't be likely to know this, but who cares?)**

_Oh yeah_, James thought sarcastically, as he followed Sirius past the beds, picking up anything that fell down._ I really can't wait for tonight_.

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!


	8. Halloween II The Evening After

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 8: Halloween II – The Evening After**

**-&-**

A clock ticked unceasingly as Lily carefully turned the page of the book she had been attempting to read. Grimacing slightly, she skimmed halfway down the page before giving up. Rolling over on her bed, she pushed the book underneath, and reached for a magazine. A quarter of the way through "_How To Curse Your Ex To Pieces (Without Breaking Any Laws)_', Emma came in. Though she looked her usual calm self, something was . . . not normal. There was an air of suppressed joy about her – her eyes looked bright, and she had what could only be described as a spring in her step.

Lily looked up.

"Em!" she cried, getting up. "Are you alright?"

"Totally blood-free." Emma grinned. "Madam Pomfrey healed it in about a minute, apparently, and I came round half an hour later." She looked round. "Where is everyone?"

"Gone to Hogsmeade. Last minute 'necessities', they called it." Lily sat back down on her bed. "I have everything I need already." Her eyes fell upon the clock on her table, and she frowned. "Emma, if you were okay after half an hour . . . then where have you been for the last one and a half hours?"

Emma avoided Lily's keen stare. "Uh. That. I was . . . you know . . . going places, meeting people, doing things."

Lily eyed Emma's fast-reddening complexion. "Yeah, right! Emma Vance, you are hiding something from me, and I am exercising my full rights as best friend to demand that you tell me what it is!"

"Nothing! Just . . . Remus . . ." She touched her lips tentatively.

"HE KISSED YOU! Oh my -" Lily suddenly found herself speechless.

"Shh!" Emma said, but she was smiling too. "The whole House'll hear!"

"When did this happen?" demanded Lily breathlessly, having regained her voice. "How? Where?"

Emma sat down comfortably on the bed and grinned.

"Well, I woke up in the Hospital Wing, and the first thing I saw was his face, looking all anxious. Except when he saw my eyes open, I think he must have jumped back about a foot, because he fell right off his chair." She laughed, and so did Lily. "Then, once he'd picked himself up, he started asking me how I was feeling – but when I said that I had a bit of a headache, he looked all depressed, and told me he had dropped . . . what was it?"

"A pumpkin?" Lily supplied helpfully.

"That's it. He said he had dropped a pumpkin on me and I had gone unconscious. I still don't remember that . . ." Emma shook her head bemusedly, as if to clear it.

"Go on," Lily urged.

"Yeah, so then after we had got past that, he suddenly gave me this really serious look, and said, 'Emma, we need to talk about the other day.' And at first I was really confused, because I couldn't remember anything . . . and then it all came back to me. So I rolled over, because I really didn't want to have to look at him, you know? And he said, 'I honestly didn't mean to overhear what you were saying that night,' so I went, 'But you did anyway, didn't you? That's the problem.' The thing is, I _do_ believe him, at least now, because . . . well, he sounded sincere. I think."

"Then what happened?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Then he goes, 'It's just that . . . that . . .' I got kind of irritated, because I was thinking '_If he wants to tell me he hates me, he should just do it,_' and I said 'That what?' And that's when he said, 'That I feel the same way. As you." Emma cocked her head slightly. "And for a moment, I just couldn't breathe. I turned over to look at him and went, 'Is this a joke?' He just gave me this look, and said, really quietly,' I meant what I said.' Then he looked at his watch and goes, really fast, ' Oh, damn, I have to go meet . . . uhm, James, so I'll see you around,' and he half-ran out."

"No, no, no, no, stupid, _stupid_ Remus," Lily groaned, letting herself fall onto her back. A few seconds later, she sat up again sharply. "Hang on, what am I saying? There's more to tell, right? Keep talking."

"Well, as soon as Madam Pomfrey let me get up, I went off, and I figured I would find Remus, because I couldn't just leave the whole thing hanging. I looked everywhere . . . and I mean, _everywhere_." Emma scowled at the memory. "The library, the owlery, the kitchens, the hall, the common room, the lake and the Quidditch pitch – I even got Peter to check the boys' dormitory. Then I got tired of searching for someone who was so obviously trying to avoid me, so I just wandered around. That's when I found him. He was . . . sitting on the floor in the middle of a corridor, staring at his hands." She shifted uncomfortably, and Lily got the feeling that it was becoming harder to express in words what she had felt. "He looked . . . well, lost. So I walked up to him, and said something like, 'I meant what I said, that day in the library.' He jumped, and then he got up really slowly and gave me this look – it felt like he was trying to read my mind, or analyse me." Emma looked very distant, as if she were reliving the past as she told it. "And then, he said quietly, 'Really?' and I think I nodded." She laughed softly. "I said something like 'Always,' but it didn't matter because then, he – he kissed me." She looked at her hands.

Lily lowered her own hands, which had been over her mouth.

"That is the most romantic thing I have ever, ever heard, and the best thing about it is that it's _true_. What did it feel like?"

Emma laughed again. "It was . . . wonderful. He was nervous at first, but then he relaxed . . . and his lips are so soft." She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again to shoot a wicked grin at Lily. "He has a very nice body too."

Lily's mouth fell open. "Too much information, Em! He's your boyfriend, not mine!"

"He said he's liked me since fourth year, when I had to spend so much time helping him with Astronomy homework, remember?"

Lily smiled. "You two must have either been very good at hiding it, or completely blind." She looked at her watch. "The others'll be back from Hogsmeade soon. We might as well start getting ready for the contest now. You know what Serena's like when she hogs the mirrors. Besides, we should get decent seats tonight as well."

Emma looked uncomfortable. "Yeah…about that. Lils, would you mind if we sat with Remus?"

Lily opened her mouth to say yes, and then closed it again. "That means sitting with . . ."

"Sirius, James and Peter. Yeah." Emma fidgeted as Lily began to shake her head.

"I am not sitting with them. Especially with that prick of a Head Boy. You sit with Remus, I'll find…Callie or something." Callie West was one of their dorm mates.

"No! Lily, I am NOT letting you go off by yourself! Look, if you want me to, I'll tell Remus I can't. Or else, just sit with us. You can still talk to me and Remus. Please?"

Lily looked at Emma's beseeching expression and relented. "Ok," she said, grudgingly. "But do NOT leave me with those jerks, or I will walk off and I will not come back."

"Done!" said Emma happily. "This is going to be _perfect_."

**-&-**

By ten to six, the seventh-year girls' dormitory was loud and noisy, with everyone rushing around. Emma, however, was ready, and so was Lily, who was just adding the finishing touches to her hair.

"Didn't anyone tell you that catsuits are _so_ out of fashion?" Serena said nastily as she passed by.

Emma turned. "Didn't anyone tell you that I don't care?" she questioned innocently. Serena made a huffing noise as she turned to the mirror.

"Ignore her, Em. You look great," Lily said, and it was true. She was wearing a black leather catsuit, which looked stunning on her slim body, and daring high-heeled black ankle boots. Her chestnut hair had been straightened, and a streak of eyeshadow completed her look. Strangely enough, Lily had noticed that since her meeting with Remus, she seemed a lot more relaxed and self-assured, and it was doing wonders to her already calm demeanour.

"And I suppose you look awful?" Emma said sarcastically. Lily looked down at her simple costume, and sighed. She wished she had had the courage now to wear something more adventurous.

"We'd better go," she said absently.

Emma slipped on a pair of shades, and grinned mysteriously. "Come on." Laughing, the two of them made their way down to the Great Hall.

**-&-**

James saw her the moment she walked in, and his heart seemed to freeze up for a moment. She and Emma had paused, just inside the doors to look around, and from where he was seated, he had a perfect vantage point. She was dressed in a white dress with drooping sleeves, which seemed tailored to fit her, and emphasise her naturally trim (in James' eyes) figure **(A/N: think of the white dress that Eowyn wore in The Lord of the Rings; The Two Towers at Rohan, just when Theodred died and Grima tried to get his ugly paws on her)**. Her skin glowed, and her hair, hanging straight down her back, had highlights of different hues of red in it, giving her a thoroughly individual look. Above her head, a magical halo glittered; interwoven magical sparks of gold.

**_-&-_**

Emma spotted them and began to walk over, Lily following. Beside him, James heard Remus shift uncomfortably. Emma reached them first and smiled at Remus, who blinked, and then leapt out of his seat and bowed, before kissing her hand. "Remus Lupin at your service, milady."

"Emma Vance, international spy." She removed her sunglasses and raised an eyebrow. "A Tudor nobleman?"

"But of course." He turned to Lily. "And we have the Princess Lily in our company tonight?"

"Actually," Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's an angel." She reached behind her.

"But where are your . . ." Sirius began, just as Lily found what she was looking for.

Without warning, a large pair of shimmering wings unfurled from her back, causing Remus to step back in shock.

" . . . wings," Sirius finished lamely.

"They're a bit cumbersome, aren't they?" Lily smiled amicably, but it was quite apparent that it was only directed at two people – Emma and Remus. "That's why they fold up." She reached behind again, and a moment later, the wings closed up again, yet when Remus looked at her back, there was no evidence of there having ever been any sort of apparatus to release wings – she merely appeared to be wearing a dress.

They sat down, and very soon, the table had become split into two groups. Lily, Emma and Remus were talking together, and on the other side, James, Sirius and Peter had their heads together. Or rather, Sirius and Peter, since James was in his own world of thought. The silences that inevitably occurred were still rather painful, and despite every attempt Remus made, Lily refused to join in any conversation involving James.

**-&-**

Soon enough, the contest started. The five judges, Professor Dumbledore and Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Singrey, respective Heads of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, sat at a long table, and the students paraded past as their name was called out. Faye Fletcher had indeed come dressed as a prostitute, and received a large share of shocked looks at her raunchy outfit. Sirius caused a big stir among the girls as he sauntered along, dressed as he was, like an American gangster, with the accent to match, and James got much the same response in his neat black and white tuxedo, although Lily still had no idea who he was meant to be, as she had blocked her ears to avoid hearing his voice when he told the judges. Emma, too, got several whistles from the boys in her catsuit. Lily herself found that while she got no whistles, the brilliancy of her complexion and her innocent manner got her a lot of compliments. Some people had obviously made a lot of effort on themselves, and it was a happy crowd of trolls, fairies, magical creatures, and characters from history, literature and films that sat down to eat.

After she had finished her apple pie, Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom, growing tired of the awkward silences. When she got there, however, she was startled to hear a loud sob as she washed her hands. She looked cautiously around the otherwise empty room.

"Is that you, Moaning – sorry, I mean, Myrtle?" she called out tentatively.

She was answered a few minutes later by another sob, this time more muffled. Advancing on the toilet at the end, she pushed at it to find that it was locked.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Go away." The voice sounded strangely familiar.

"If you don't unlock the door, I'm going to climb up and look over it anyway," she pointed out.

"Go away."

Lily racked her brain, trying to match the voice with a name.

"Sapphire?" she asked in amazement. "It's Lily. Open the door!"

For a few seconds, there was nothing. Then the lock clicked, and Lily pushed the door open to see Sapphire Heathleigh, one of her dorm mates, and Callie's best friend, sitting on the toilet, her face streaked with tears.

"Saffy! What's wrong?"

Sapphire shook her head. "Nothing."

"Come on, tell me."

"Nothing . . . just that Callie broke up with me." A single tear made its way down her cheek.

"What? Why?" Lily exclaimed, furiously racking her brains to work out what was going on. Weren't Callie and Sapphire best friends? But Sapphire began to cry again, and Lily sensed that this was probably _not_ the best time to inquire. Instead, she hauled Sapphire to her feet.

"Come out. You can come sit with us. Let's just clean you up a bit." She offered her some tissues, and soon Sapphire's face had returned to normal, except for a few red blotches on her cheeks. Dusting both their dresses off, Lily talked cheerfully to Sapphire as they headed back.

"That's a lovely costume." She looked admiringly at her sleeveless grass-green dress of sheer gauze, which hung loosely on her willowy frame, and the circlet of daisies in her pale brown hair. "Are you an earth maiden or something?"

"A Dryad," replied Sapphire, seemingly grateful to hear a friendly voice. "You know, the tree goddesses from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe."

"Oh, I used to love that book!" Lily said in delight.

Arriving in the Hall as the food was cleared away, Lily led Sapphire to their table.

"Get an extra chair, will you Remus? Sapphire's going to hang around with us for the evening."

A chorus of 'Hi's resounded, and Sapphire smiled tremulously as she sat down. Leaning across, James began a conversation with her, although Sirius seemed unable to look at her and appeared to spend a lot of time gazing at the floor instead.

**-&-**

For her part, Lily was feeling fairly content with the fact that she was only talking to three people on the table (or so she told herself), and she watched contently as Daniel Jordan ascended the stage.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your evening entertainment, we have a performance from . . . the Charmed Ones!"

Three witches walked out onto the stage to wild applause, and immediately struck up a bouncy tune as the lights dimmed. It had been a stroke of luck that Lily and James had been able to hire such a popular and well-known group. Girls were keen on them because of their singing, and boys liked them because of their . . . well, looks. How superficial. Lily settled back in her chair and sighed.

Halfway through the concert, Lily decided to visit the toilet again. She had just come out of the Hall quietly, when she realised that there was someone blocking her way. A greasy-haired someone.

"Out alone, Mudblood?" he sneered.

"Go away, Snape."

"Oh, but why would I do that? You're not even being polite."

"Snape, get out of my way." Lily knew she was getting riled.

"You haven't even said please."

"I don't intend to."

Something in her voice made Snape tense. "Then maybe you should learn how." Without warning, he whipped out his wand, and suddenly Lily felt her arm being twisted behind her back. She opened her mouth to cry out with the pain, but could not make a sound – Snape had put a Silencing Charm on her. She writhed helplessly, grimacing as her arm began to cramp. Snape was watching her in a kind of miserable satisfaction.

The next thing she knew, the pain in her arm had suddenly abated, and Snape had been thrown to the ground. Lily spun around, massaging her freed and painful arm, to see James standing there, fury radiating from his darkened hazel eyes, and his wand trained on Snape.

"What makes you think that you have a right to curse someone who is innocent?" he said, his voice dangerously low and cold.

Snape sat up slowly and began to move towards his wand. James jerked his own, and Snape's wand rose in mid-air and flew another few feet away.

"I know that was an unprovoked attack for a fact. Fifty points from Slytherin for that alone. Then there was the fact that you were intentionally causing another student harm. Another fifty points gone from Slytherin." His voice shook slightly, but the hand that held the wand was quite steady.

Snape made an unexpected dive towards his wand, go it, and scrambled to his feet. He opened his mouth to curse James, but James was too fast for him. "_Expelliarmus_," he said, and Snape's wand soared to James. "You'll get this back tomorrow – when I've reported you to McGonagall. Go." Snape didn't need to be asked twice. He shot them a look of pure hatred and walked off, not towards the Great Hall, but the dungeons. At the top of the stairs that led down to them, he stopped and turned.

"I'll get you for this, Potter. And you, _Mudblood_." With that, he was gone.

**-&-**

James lowered his wand, and looked warily at Lily, who gazed straightforwardly back at him. She was the first to speak.

"I'm not some damsel in distress."

"I know."

"And you're not a knight in shining armour."

"No."

"So you don't need to come and rescue me all the time."

"Ok."

"Because I could have handled that perfectly well on my own if I'd been prepared."

"That's good."

James turned and began to head back to the Hall.

"But . . ."

He swivelled round again.

"Thank you." She smiled at him. "I would have been much worse off _today_ if you hadn't turned up."

"No problem." James was reaching breaking point. "Can we talk?"

"In light of recent events, I suppose so."

"Look Lily, about that whole library incident. I wasn't involved, I swear. Sirius and Peter planned the entire thing – they were the ones who suggested that I use the fake bird they had made to help tutor you. I'm sorry because I should have realised that they were plotting something because they were so interested in all the details of where, when and how, but apart from that, I'm sick of this." All of a sudden, James heard his voice rising as the frustration of the past few days poured out. "I'm sick of being ignored when I didn't do anything wrong! When I tried to explain everything, I don't know how many times, all I got was a cold shoulder! It's…It's ridiculous! I know I haven't exactly been a model person over the years, but that does NOT amount to this much! So why don't we just go inside, forget this whole thing ever happened, and you can go back to hating my guts in peace, like you have done for the last seven years! Maybe we should just stay away from each other!" He began to move away, towards the Hall, but Lily hurried forward and pulled at his arm.

"James? Please, wait." A shock passed up her hand as it made contact with his robes, and she withdrew it instantly, willing her eyes to convey the message instead. It was the use of his first name, as well as the spark that had passed between them, that made him turn round and look at her reluctantly.

"I'm – I'm sorry. So sorry." Lily tried to keep her gaze steady. "I didn't know. And I know it's my fault that I didn't listen, and I am honestly and truly sorry." She blinked, trying to choke back the unexpected lump in her throat. "But please forgive me. I don't hate your guts, and I don't want to stay away from you, because . . . I can't. We're friends," she added hastily.

James' eyes softened as he looked at her pleading expression, and he raked a hand through his hair.

Just then, Lily focused on the doors behind him, and James swung round to see Sirius' head appear.

"Hi people," he said jauntily. "Look Lily, before you slap me, I just wanted to say that you should forgive James. Me and Peter -" Here Sirius turned round to look behind, and frowned. "Okay, Peter's run off, since he's a chicken – no pun intended," he added quickly, as Lily flinched. "We take full responsibility for the whole . . . uh, event. So you and Jamesie can get back together, seeing as I'm being so mature, and everything."

James' neck went red as he glared at Sirius.

"Padfoot?" he said, through gritted teeth.

"Yeah?"

"Go away."

"Oh. Am I interrupting something here?" Confusion spread over Sirius' handsome features.

"Yes!" Lily groaned.

"Oh. Whoops! Sorry." He disappeared, and Lily looked back at James, who was staring at the floor and running a hand through his hair distractedly.

"Please?" she repeated softly. She stretched her arm out again, but, realising what she was doing, stopped halfway, her hand suspended in mid-air. "Friends?"

Masking his bitterness, James finally nodded, after a long moment. Grasping her hand and trying to ignore the sensations that told him how warm and soft her hand was, or how perfectly it fit into his, he looked her squarely in the eyes. "Friends."

Lily grinned happily. "Looks like you're saddled with me again, Mr Potter." Her eyes fell upon the top two buttons of his shirt, undone alluringly, and she swallowed again.

"Oh well. I'll blame it on the Butterbeer," James responded teasingly.

"Er, who or what are you meant to be anyway?" Lily asked curiously. James assumed a serious expression and put on a posh accent.

"Bond. James Bond. Charmed to meet you." He lifted her hand, as if to kiss it, but then, for no reason that Lily could see, dropped it suddenly. Instead, he bowed dramatically.

Lily laughed and began to walk towards the Hall. "Oh. Well, come on, Mr Bond. Sweet as this reunion is, I don't want to miss the whole concert because of you."

"Likewise," James replied, as he followed her.

_Friends,_ he thought. _Friends with a smart, beautiful, funny girl._

_I'm an idiot._

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **So, there you go. Basically the same – just a few minor alterations where I've noticed a grammatical mistake. Feel free to leave a review – anything will do. The next chapter will be coming very soon!

**N.B.** Originally, the song "Colourblind" by Darius was part of this chapter, but it's now been removed by me because I know of the sudden spate of removing-fics-due-to-song-lyrics that's been happening recently, and I want to save this fic before it becomes a casualty again – because if it does, it won't go up again (as I've said before) and I don't want that…


	9. He Loves U Not

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear!**

**And this chapter is earlier than planned, as a celebration because Lady A is back in the country! Well…she's back from Houston…meaning she's near a computer…meaning we can talk again! Grins Yay! (yes, I'm slightly hyper – too much sugar today!)**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 9: He Loves Me, He Loves U Not

The next day had a very tranquil air about it. Although school was still on, most people got up late and lazed in the Common Room for at least half an hour, yawning, before doing anything else.

Lily was the first to wake in her dormitory. She padded over the thick, soft carpet to Emma's side and shook her gently, but Emma groaned and huddled under the duvet.

"Le' me alo'."

Deciding it was no use, Lily went off, and took a long shower. A she let the warm streams of water run over her head and soothe her, she couldn't help but wonder about Serena. The girl had glowered at her for almost the whole evening after she had returned with James in tow, laughing and talking. Although Serena usually acted rather . . . catty, she had seemed to dislike her even more last night, and Lily was quite at a loss to understand why.

She pulled on a pair of jeans and a green turtleneck, and grabbing a book, headed down to the empty common room, where she curled up in front on the fire on a squashy old sofa and began to read.

For the next hour, the Common Room was silent and peaceful, deserted except for Lily. Oblivious of time, she read on, while the fire crackled merrily beside her, and cool daylight crept slowly across the circular room. At one point, she looked up to hear footsteps, hoping it would be Emma, but instead, Tom Jacobs and Keegan Adams, the other two seventh-year boys who shared a dormitory with the Marauders, came down the stairs, talking quietly. They were dressed in tracksuit bottoms, and Lily supposed inattentively that they were going out for an early morning run. Keegan simply nodded at her in acknowledgement, while Tom greeted her with a smile and a "Hey Lily," before he too vanished through the Portrait hole.

A short while later, Lily was once again deep in her book, when she heard the portrait hole open again, and someone clambered through. Assuming that it was Tom or Keegan come back for something, or just another early riser, she did not bother to look up.

Footsteps sounded towards the middle of the room, then stopped.

"Oh look. It's the red-head whore."

"What?" Lily raised her head to see Serena Parkinson glaring at her, hands on hips.

"Need your hearing checked, do you? I suppose you would, after all the shouting a certain _person_ did in your ear last night during the concert."

Carefully, Lily put her book down and stood up. She looked Serena coolly up and down, from her straight honey-blonde hair that reached just below her shoulders, all the way down to her high-heeled pink sandals, even though it was a cool October morning, and not yet even breakfast; in fact, barely past sunrise; no weather for sandals.

"Excuse me?" she asked coldly. "Who or what are you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well who I mean, you two-faced slag!" Serena's voice was getting higher and louder. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"No, actually, I don't," she said calmly. "Would you like to, uh, _clarify_ who it is that you're talking about?"

"You are so thick," Serena sneered. "All right, I'll tell you. Does the name _James Potter_ ring any bells? Sleeping with him now, are we?"

For a moment, Lily stared at her in disbelief, convinced that she had heard something wrong. Then she began to laugh.

"That is the single most . . . _ridiculous_ thing I have ever heard!" she gasped, clutching her side as she laughed.

"You can't cover up whatever it is that's going on by just laughing, Evans. I'm not stupid!"

"Well you obviously are, if you honestly think that! For one thing, I would never, _never_ get involved in Po - James' love life or his tangled string of girlfriends. For another, last time I heard, you weren't even going out with him anyway, so what's it got to do with you?"

Serena snorted. "Don't play innocent with me! You've had him eating out of your hand and following you around since fifth year! You've got him wrapped around your little finger, and you know it! You're practically raising his hopes by spending so much time with him, when all a bitch like you is doing is stopping him from going out with _real_ girls!"

She took a step forward, menacingly, and narrowed her eyes. "You don't own him."

"Neither do you," came a voice from the staircase. Lily and Serena turned, as one, to see James Potter descending, his hair its usual messy self, wearing a crumpled pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, giving him a very much just-got-out-of-bed look.

Serena's entire persona shifted.

"Jamesie!" she cooed. She took a few paces towards him, swaying her hips provocatively, and practically radiating waves of flattery; Lily had never felt so sickened. "And how are you today?"

"Fine," James answered shortly. He eyed Serena with great dislike. "What do you want, Parkinson?"

"You already know the answer to that, James. I want _you_." Her eyes were fixed on his face hungrily.

"Well I'm not interested, Parkinson, and that's something you obviously didn't pick up the other five hundred times we've had this conversation. See you." He indicated the portrait hole.

"But Jamesie!" Serena cried.

"Do NOT call me Jamesie. Bye-bye."

Serena snorted again, angrily, and flounced towards the hole. As she passes Lily, she shot a glare at her and mouthed 'Bitch.' Then she was gone.

Lily collapsed back down onto the sofa. To her surprise, James came over, sank down next to her, and sighed.

"What was all that about?" she asked.

"You really want to know?" James yawned.

"Well, seeing as she's verbally attacking me over something that I know very little about, yes, I do. How much did you overhear, anyway?"

"Enough."

"So, what's the story?"

"We went out together in fourth year. I dated her for exactly two days before I found out what a bitch she was, and for a week before I found out that she was cheating on me with some Ravenclaw, so I dumped her. After she got dumped by the other guy and found out that my family is . . . fairly wealthy, she came crawling back. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm not interested."

Lily looked at him doubtfully, holding her book against her. "And all this comes from the Master Player of Girls himself?"

James turned round sharply and looked back at her, raising his eyebrows.

"I didn't know you believed everything you heard."

"It's just a rumour, is it?"

"I may have gone out with quite a few girls, but I don't two-time or cheat. I'm not _that_ dishonest."

Lily smiled slightly, but James' brow had contracted as he reached his hands out to the fire and turned away from her again.

"What are you doing down so early for? I was hoping for at least another hour on my own."

James slid off the sofa and down on to the rug in front of the dancing flames. "The heating in the boys' dorm's gone off. Apparently they forgot to restart the heating charm. The others haven't woken up yet, but I was cold . . . so here I am."

"I suppose that's why Tom and Keegan left so early," Lily mused. She glanced at the boy leaning casually against the arm of the sofa. "And how exactly do you know so much?"

James grinned mysteriously. 'I have connections.' He saw Lily's expression. "Ok, ok, I know one of the house elves who looks after the dorm. He's the brother of our house elf, Topsy, and their sister, Tipsy, works in Sirius' house. Topsy, Tipsy, and Tolly."

"Sounds like a children's show."

"Yeah."

There was a few moments' reflective quiet.

"James?"

He looked up. "Yeah?"

"Would you mind . . . not telling anyone about the Snape thing last night?"

"But -" James protested.

"I'd just rather that no one else knew, other than Emma, I suppose. They'd probably react the way you did, and I don't want that."

James regarded her in silence. "Oh, all right," he said, finally. "My lips are sealed. But Sirius already found out that I had a run-in with Snivellus, though he doesn't know details."

"Keep it that way," Lily said, relieved. She was about to say something else, when footsteps sounded once again on the girls' stairs, and Emma appeared, looking worried.

"Lily, Saffy's woken up. I think she wants to talk."

Lily got up and followed Emma, giving James a brief wave.

"Hey, Lily!" James called after her. She turned round, halfway up the stairs.

"You go the Quidditch matches, don't you?"

"Yeah," Lily replied, confused.

"Well then you'd better be there for the next one, to watch us whip Slytherin. Next Saturday."

Lily smiled. "Alright."

He grinned a farewell at her from his place on the floor, and she continued up, contemplating.

­**-&-**

_Give it your all girl, give it all you got,__You can take a chance, and take your best shot,__I see what you want girl, and what you do,__He's never gonna, gonna make it with you.__You're pulling petals off a flower trying to get your way, __Keep pulling 'til it says what you want it to say, __Girl you can pick a field full of daisies,__But he'd still be my baby,__I know you can hardly wait 'til I'm away from him,__Instinctively, I know what you're thinking,__You'll be giving him an open invitation,__But my baby won't be taken in.__You can pout your cherry lips,__Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss, __You can flirt your pretty eyes,__He ain't got his hands tied.__No chains to unlock, so free to do what he wants,__He's into what he's got,__He loves me, he loves you not,__No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you,__He's into what he's got,__He loves me, he loves you not...__You're the kinda girl that's always up for do-or-dare__Only want him just because he's there,__Always looking for a new ride,__The grass is greener on the other side..__You're the kinda girl who's not used to hearing no, __All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go, __Doesn't matter how hard you try,__Your never gonna get away with my guy.__No chains to unlock, so free to do what he wants,__He's into what he's got, (and that's me)__He loves me, he loves you not,__No matter what you do,__He's never gonna be with you, __He's into what he's got,__He loves me, he loves you not._

**-&-**

Lily's class had been very much set in its social groupings since first year. Lily and Emma had become friends after being partnered in a particularly disastrous Charms class. James and Sirius had befriended each other on the train to Hogwarts when they had both simultaneously attacked Snape in the corridor, and had soon found Remus to be a worthy ally. Peter had been the one who had flattered his way into their good books, willing to do anything, until he had been accepted. That left Tom Jacobs and Keegan Adams together, and they had become friends as well. As far as the other girls had been concerned, Sapphire Heathleigh, Callie West and Serena Parkinson had once been a single unit, and completely inseparable. Callie and Serena had known each other since babyhood, as their wealthy mothers had moved in the same social circles. Then, in third year, a 'disagreement' had arisen between Mrs West and Mrs Parkinson, and cracks had appeared between Callie and Serena, resulting in a fight that had nearly blown the roof of Gryffindor Tower off. The end of it was that Serena had let the group and began to hang out with a group of fourth-years well known for their bitchiness and 'tarted-up' view of themselves. As Lily put it to Emma once, in a rare moment of sarcastic humour, 'they had their heads so far up their own arses that it made it a bit difficult to talk to them.' All the hate and anger she had was now directed at her own dorm mates with a vengeance, as if despising the fact that she no longer fitted in. What could have caused the sudden break between Callie and Sapphire? Lily wondered.

Dragging Sapphire to Emma's bed, they shut the door and settled down comfortably. Both girls wanted an explanation of what had been going on last night, and now that Sapphire was ready, and the dormitory conveniently empty, there were no obstacles left. Despite her tears in the toilets, Sapphire remained dry-eyed as she poured out her tale.

"It was probably around when the contest was nearly over. We had both finished out turns on stage, and Callie was looking kind of . . . I don't know how to describe it. Not right. So I asked her what the matter was, and she turned round and said, 'You.' I didn't really understand her at first . . . so I was just like 'Huh?' She started saying stuff about how I was so boring and serious, and I never wanted to have any fun, and that I was a prude . . . because I don't have a constant line of boyfriends like her. She – she said a lot of other stuff, actually, about how I was poor, and things like that. I'd rather not remember them.' Sapphire bit her lip. 'So I said, 'Why are you saying all this?' and she said, 'I have better people to hang around with. Consider our friendship,' and she pulled off the – the best friend necklaces we got each other in fifth year off her neck, and held it up, 'broken.' So she dropped it on the floor and went to Serena's table to sit down. I tried not to get all . . . emotional, but I felt like – well, such an idiot. So I left. That's where you found me.' She looked at Lily, and then sighed pensively. 'I suppose I should have seen it coming. Callie's mother sorted things out with Serena's mother over the holidays, so they were talking to each other a lot more this term, and besides, Callie always seemed so . . . snide. About everything." She put her head in her hands.

Wordlessly, Emma and Lily looked at each other, and then moved forward to engulf Sapphire in a tight hug.

"Don't worry about Callie," Emma reassured her, once they had let go. "I don't know what's going on with her, but she had no right to say what she did, especially because _it's not true_."

"You can hang with us, we'd love to have someone else to talk to," Lily added.

Sapphire smiled wanly. "Thanks. Just . . . for being there."

"Anytime."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Are we having a moment? You know, of sympathy and understanding?" Lily questioned.

"Not anymore, you idiot!" Emma groaned. "Speaking of moments, what _were _you and James talking about downstairs? You two looked very . . . _cosy_."

"Shut up! Nothing was going on, and if it ever does, you can go get Peeves to chuck a load of Dungbombs on me in person!" Lily threw a pillow at her, and Emma reciprocated. The three of them were just getting into a very enjoyable pillow fight, when a voice echoed up the stairs.

"LILY!"

Abruptly, all the pillows dropped.

"What the -?" said Sapphire, puzzled.

"Is that Sirius?" Lily exclaimed.

It was.

From the top of the stairs, Lily saw Sirius standing at the foot, his hair flopping into his eyes, panting. "Lily, you have to come, McGonagall's punishing James for something he didn't do and you're the only one who can stop it!"

Lily came down halfway and looked at him suspiciously.

"Come ON!" Reaching up, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her down the stairs, across the Common Room, and out of the Portrait Hole. He was walking fast – Lily had to jog to keep up.

_So much for a restful day after the contest_, she thought sarcastically as she followed Sirius' loping gait.

"It's got something to do with whatever happened last night. James won't tell her why he used magic on Snape, so McGonagall thinks it's just because he doesn't like him, and she's threatening a month of detentions and to take away his badge!"

"Oh…dammit!" Lily said frantically. "That's because of me!" She turned on Sirius. "How do you know this much? Were you eavesdropping?"

"Well, duh." Sirius snorted. "What else did you expect me to do? It's a good thing I did!"

They reached the Transfiguration classroom. Pausing for a moment to catch her breath, Lily heard James' voice, defiant.

"You can take the badge if you want, and I don't care about points or detentions, but I _can't_ tell you why. I won't."

Lily pushed the door open. Professor McGonagall was seated on the desk, looking infuriated, while James slouched in a chair, his face sullen. He did not look up as she entered.

"Professor, don't punish him!"

McGonagall turned to her and raised her eyebrows. "I fail to see what this has to do with you, Miss Evans."

"It's – not – James' – fault!" Lily gasped. She clutched her side, trying to ignore the stitch she could feel. "Snape was using magic on me – to hurt me – and James saw what was happening and stopped him. He didn't do anything unreasonable, I swear! He was just defending both of us!"

"Is this true, Mr Potter?" McGonagall inquired, her eyes back on him. James looked up unwillingly, and nodded.

"Then why did you not see fit to tell me this before?"

James looked at Lily for a moment, his expression unreadable, then back at the teacher. "Lily made me promise not to."

"Hmm." Professor McGonagall eyed the two teenagers in silence. "As much as I do not believe you are telling me everything, I shall let this pass and have a talk with Mr Snape. Consider yourself let off with a warning, Potter. And by the way, Professor Dumbledore wishes to see the two of you tonight at seven o'clock. The password is _Ice mice_."

James got up to go.

"Oh, and Potter?"

James turned.

"Five points to Gryffindor for doing the right thing."

James smiled, and followed Lily out.

"How'd you know I was here?" he asked.

"Sirius told me." Lily looked round. "He must have gone back to the Common Room – he said he was listening outside." She stopped for a moment. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"You asked me not to," James responded, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but still . . . I mean, she was threatening to take your badge!"

"So?" James looked at her straightforwardly. "Lily, I don't have any idea what you think of me, but you appear to be wrong, so you should get three things straight. I don't cheat, I don't lie, and I don't break promises. Whatever the consequences." He started walking again, away from her, using much the same long strides that Sirius had.

Lily looked after him for a minute, and then hurried forward to catch up with him. "Well, thank you. And I'm sorry," she said awkwardly.

James shook his head. "S'alright."

Lily looked at her watch. "Shall we go join the others for breakfast?"

"Of course," James said, and laughing for no particular reason, they headed for the Great Hall. Halfway through eating, however, Emma, who was sitting next to her, prodded her in the side and leaned over.

"Lils, I need to talk to you!" she whispered.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Chapter nine redone and dusted! Yay! And I don't know how well the song works, but I found it, thought it suited, and I'll leave it up to you to decide whether it applies to Lily (although she doesn't know it yet) or Serena and her twisted view of things…Now, how about a review?


	10. Dangerous Ideas

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**Happy Easter all!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 10: Dangerous Ideas**

Despite Emma's words, Lily found that she was not able to talk to her for almost three days, due to the sufficient number of distractions that seemed to crop up. The first was that of the meeting with Dumbledore. Lily had hoped to be congratulated by the Headmaster on the success of the Halloween contest, but she had not expected to have any such formal meeting, and neither did she expect what was to follow.

Having asked directions to the Headmaster's office of Sirius (who answered with so much confidence that he must have been there a few times at _least_), she spoke the password and the gargoyle sprang aside to reveal a moving staircase. Amazed at the resemblance that this bore to Muggle escalators, Lily stepped on and allowed herself to be carried up. She knocked at the door cautiously, and walked in.

Dumbledore was seated at his desk, in the centre of a circular room. A fire burned cheerfully in the fireplace, and curious instruments were dotted all over shelves. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily caught a flash of gold; on closer inspection it proved to be a golden phoenix, dozing peacefully on a wooden perch.

"Do sit down, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said pleasantly. She took a seat in a comfortable armchair, and it was only then that she noticed James next to her, grinning at her. Professor Dumbledore was ferreting around in a tin. "Sherbet lemon?" he asked, proffering it. James looked at the bright yellow sweet rather dubiously, but Lily took one with an exclamation of delight.

"I haven't had one of these since I was little!"

"Ah, one of the innumerable delights of childhood that is forgotten as we grow." Dumbledore smiled. "Now, the first thing I must do is offer you my congratulations for last night's festivities. From what I understand, it was a roaring success, and I look forward very much to seeing what else you two will be able to accomplish together."

"I would also like to introduce you to the reward you have earned. Your ability to handle the responsibility maturely, and deal with organisation co-operatively," here Lily shot a guilty glance at James, remembering the way she had acted in the Hall that morning, "has shown that you deserve to be given this. Please follow me."

He stood up and led them out of the office, down several corridors, until he stopped in front of a seemingly blank wall.

"For your information, Gryffindor Tower is that way," he gestured down the corridor, "and you should recognise the route here soon enough. Now . . ."

It was when he turned to face the wall that Lily realised that it was not, in fact, as empty as she had originally thought. Just above their heads hung a pair of masks, and Lily recognised the traditional Shakespearian expressions of comedy and tragedy.

"This can often be the difficult part," Dumbledore told them. He reached up and grasped the nose of the tragedy mask. To Lily's shock, the mask did not appear to be made out of metal after all, but a rubbery material which squashed down, like a human nose. For a moment, the mask's cheeks puffed out and the eyes scrunched up, as if trying to hold its breath, and then, with a loud gasp, it expelled what Lily could only assume was air.

"Alright," it said mournfully. "You've got my attention. Password?"

"_Waddiwasi_," Dumbledore said. The bricks beneath the mask began to wriggle about, some stretching and some shrinking, until they had formed the outline of a stone door. Dumbledore pushed lightly, and the door swung open. The three of them stepped in.

Lily's immediate impression was of warmth and cosiness. Like Dumbledore's office, this too had a warm fire blazing in the stone fireplace, with a soft rug in front. There were two desks in opposite corners, and two sofas facing each other around the fire. As well as this, there were several large cushions lying on the floor and, and a bookcase at the back. Lamps stood everywhere, giving a soft light to the room, and hangings, depicting what looked like legends, were dotted around the walls.

"Nice, is it not?" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "This is the Heads' Common Room."

"Cool," James said. He had walked over the fire and was apparently trying to test the give of the sofa by flinging himself onto it.

"You may use this for your meetings, as of now, and also if you feel that you need some peace." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I know that some of the inmates of the Common Room can be rather noisy.' He took out two small silver keys. 'These are for your own rooms." For the first time, Lily noticed the two doors at the back of the room. On one door, in curly silver letters, was written _Lily Evans_, and on the other, _James Potter_.

"Are we suppose to _sleep_ here?" James asked, shocked.

"Good grief, no. We prefer that you sleep in the Tower, where there are others nearby. No, these are your personal rooms. Should you wish to store anything here, or use it for a specific purpose, you may do so." There was a hint of a smile on his face. "That does not include wild parties, in case you were wondering. However, you may bring friends here, as long as you inform Professor McGonagall or myself of who it is and when, beforehand. We will then judge if it is appropriate. Be warned, we shall know what is going on." He smiled at them. "I shall leave you now, to explore. Goodnight." He let himself out, and Lily heard his feet tapping down the corridor. Lily and James remained, at opposite ends of the room, looking silently around. Feeling suddenly tired, Lily sank onto a large cushion.

_Oh God_, she thought. _This Head Rooms stuff is going to be harder than I thought._

**-&-**

Another, more pleasant distraction over the next few days, was Sapphire. Emma and Lily did their level best to integrate her into their friendship and shield her from Callie's vicious remarks, and this meant a lot of time spent having long girly chats and getting to lessons early to find seats together. Within those hours that they enjoyed together, Lily began to wonder how any of the comments Callie had made could be true. Admittedly, Sapphire was a half-blood - her mother was a witch, her father a Muggle - and her family was not terribly well off. However, she was funny, and very mischievous, and with her sparkling eyes and glossy hair, Lily failed to see how any boy could ignore her for long. It seemed a little like she was a missing piece to their friendship; a piece that completed the puzzle.

Sapphire's one problem lay with none other than . . . Sirius. Although he had been fairly polite to her the day after the contest, in view of the night before, it soon became clear that he had no intention of giving her an easy ride. What with all the time that Emma spent with Remus, and the occasions that Lily had to discuss Head business with James, a fair proportion of time was consumed where they were at least in the vicinity of the Marauders; and Sirius took full advantage. Within three days, he had tripped Sapphire up eighteen times (Emma had kept count), and twelve of those times, her books had also gone flying. He also managed to knock two bottles of her ink over, sprinkle paper into her hair and accidentally-on-purpose knock a jug of pumpkin juice all over her dinner.

Coupled with all this were the insults, and the teasing that he seemed to have an almost inexhaustible supply of.

"Heathleigh! You intending to go meet Heath_cliff_ later, by any chance?"

"Saffy? Doesn't that sound like Daffy? Are you sure your name isn't Daffodil, or something just as hippy as your real name?"

"So, do you have to mine for sapphires, or do you just find them that dirty naturally?"

Pathetic as these were, Lily and Emma had no explanation for why he had suddenly begun to pick on her after six years of knowing who she was. Despite the fact that Lily's idea of giving him a good kick up the backside was tempting, Sapphire decided to settle for Emma's suggestion of just ignoring him, and taking it in stride. With her easygoing temperament, it did not take too long for this to become a regular pattern, although she still felt hurt when he purposely dug at her.

**-&-**

One morning that week, the three girls came down to breakfast to find the Hall buzzing with excitement.

"What's going on?" Emma asked, as they slid into their seats. Remus, who was sitting a few spaces away with the rest of the Marauders, answered.

"They're announcing the finalists from the contest after breakfast."

"Oh, cool!" Lily said excitedly.

"How does it work?" Sapphire asked with interest.

"Basically, there'll be a boy and a girl from each year from each house, and they'll be up against the others in their year for the prize. We didn't think it would be fair to pit first-years against seventh-years."

"Correction," James called down the table from where he was sitting. "_You_ didn't think it would be fair. I was perfectly fine with the idea."

Lily gave him an exasperated but amused look, and threw her hands up in defeat. "Okay, fine, _I_ didn't think it was fair. Happy?"

"Of course." James gave her a cheeky grin. "Misrepresentation of facts is a serious crime, and I, for one, am glad I could put this instance right."

"Ooh, Jamesie knows a big word!" Sirius mocked, through a mouthful of bacon. James hit him on the back, and he promptly choked.

Soon enough, as plates began to clear, Daniel Jordan, who seemed to be an unofficial announce as well as commentator, came up to the front and performed an amplifying spell on himself.

"Gooooooooood Mornin', Hogwarts!" his voice boomed, several times louder than usual.

Several students, including Sirius, yelled 'Morning!' back at him.

"I have here the results of the Halloween fancy dress contest. If you're a finalist, just sit tight, and instructions will come your way in a few days. But anyway, since dear old Professor Minniekins is now giving me a dirty look, " McGonagall was indeed glaring at him, "I should get on. So . . . in the first year, Gryffindor finalists will be Rose Johnson and Thomas Brown!" Two shocked squeaks came from the end of the table. "In Slytherin, we have Dylan Grimp and Jakarta Herpes! Ravenclaw: Amy Marione and Tim Tucker . . ." He carried on, despite the gasps that emerged as he named he finalists. Eventually, he reached the sixth years, and Lily began to pay a little more attention. " . . . and Gryffindor, Gemma Nicholson and Jack Stevens! And finally, in seventh year, we have: Ravenclaw: Rosaline Wood and Edward Monhagen! Slytherin: Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy! Hufflepuff: Dominic Ashton and Hilary Darthrite! Gryffindor: Sirius Black and Sapphire Heathleigh! Congratulations to all of you!"

Lily turned to Sapphire, whose face wore a completely shocked expression. "Well done, Saffy!"

"I . . . don't believe it," Sapphire murmured, as Emma hugged her. "This is not happening."

"Yes it is!" Lily shook her. Slowly, a smile tugged at Saphhire's lips.

"I can't believe I got in!"

"Well, you did, and we're proud of ya!" Lily said. She saw Emma's pained expression and grimaced. "I'm never trying an American accent again."

Sapphire looked up the table, where Sirius too was being patted on the back. Beyond him, Callie and Serena were looking more than slightly annoyed, but then her attention was caught by what Sirius was saying.

"Well, yeah, I was hoping that one of us four would win through, but really," he added, raising his eyebrows, "don't you think that there were better costumes around than some Earth woman in an eyesore dress?"

Knowing perfectly well that he had meant her to hear, Sapphire bit her lip and looked down, allowing her hair to swing forward. Moodily, she stabbed at a sausage, imagining it to be Sirius' head.

**-&-**

It was finally that day, that Emma had a chance to talk to Lily about what she had wanted to say. After dinner, she dragged Sapphire and Lily to the dormitory, ignoring their protests about homework, and pushed them both unceremoniously down in the empty room.

"Okay Em, what's this about?"

Emma twisted her hands. "Do you remember that potion we studied in second year? The really complicated one, that transformed you into other people?"

Lily wrinkled her nose, trying to remember. "The . . . Polyjuice Potion?" she asked at last.

"Yeah." Emma nodded. "Well, - look, don't freak out or anything, but . . . I've made it."

It took a few moments for this to sink in. Even then, Sapphire still looked slightly confused, while Lily's mouth had dropped open. "You _what_?"

"I made - well, I'm making the potion. It's nearly finished. Look, please stay calm," Emma begged.

"Excuse me?" Lily hissed. "You're making an illegal potion god-knows-where using god-knows-what that you must have stolen from Professor Singrey, since you can't get those ingredients anywhere else, and you tell me to _stay calm?_"

'I had my reasons,' Emma said defensively. 'Look, Lil, please stay quiet, I don't want anyone hearing.'

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but Sapphire cut her off. She was frowning.

'Emma, you do realise that if you're caught, you'll be risking suspension."

"I _said_, I had my reasons." Emma looked nettled.

"Ok then," Sapphire said quietly. "What were these reasons? And where did you get the recipe?"

"And why didn't you tell us before?" demanded Lily.

"I got the recipe out of a book in the Restricted Section - _Moste Potente Potions_, I think it was called; Madam Pince was a bit iffy about me taking it out, even though I showed her proof that I did Defence Against the Dark Arts. I didn't tell you before because . . . it didn't seem like the right time." Emma paused. "As for my reasons . . . When I first started the potion, about three and a half weeks ago, I wanted to find out if Remus liked me. Now, I think . . . I think I just want to know if I can trust him."

Lily still couldn't believe her ears. "Newsflash, Em! If you want to know that, you go ask him! You don't do deceitful stuff like this!"

"Lily, you know what I mean." Emma's tone was pleading, but she was right; Lily did know. Emma had had a wonderful relationship with her father, whom she had adored, until he had walked out of her life, taking one of her younger sisters, when she was ten. She had never forgiven him for leaving the family in ruins, and had problems when it came to trusting the opposite sex, even after seven years. It was reminiscent of a Muggle soap opera, but true.

"The point is, Lily, I need your help. And I don't mean by pouring the potion down the drain."

"How?" Lily snorted. "You want me to transform into someone else and do a little interrogation?"

"Uh . . . yes?"

There was a short silence as Lily mentally replayed Emma's answer in her head, checking that she was not hearing things.

"_WHAT?_"

"Please Lily," Emma begged imploringly. "I would have done it, but I can't now - I'd give myself away. I need you to."

"Absolutely not."

'Lily, I'm serious. This is the one time I really need your help. Otherwise I'll spend the rest of my life being paranoid about it."

"Even if I could, who'd you expect me to change into? Sirius?" Lily's tone bordered on scathing.

"No," said Emma thoughtfully. 'He's Remus' best friend. He would notice straight away that something was wrong. I was thinking someone more like . . . Keegan Adams."

"What have you been doing, planning this?"

"Yep."

"I still say no."

"_Please_, Lils?"

Lily rounded on Sapphire. "What do you think?"

"I don't know that this is the most sensible decision . . . but I don't know the full story, so I can't really say." Sapphire eyed them both doubtfully.

Emma looked back at Lily, her eyes wide and pleading. Against her better judgement, Lily gave in.

"I still don't agree with this, but for your sake, I'll do it."

"Oh, thank you Lily! I swear, I'll take the blame, if anything happens."

"You'd better," Lily said grumpily, but it was lost on Emma, who was beaming happily up at the ceiling.

"It'll be ready soon, I'll tell you when."

Lily curled up on the bed, feeling a sudden tension rise.

The outcome of this would not be good.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Reviews, anyone?


	11. Quidditch, Anyone?

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 11: Quidditch, Anyone?

_Dear _Miss Heathleigh,

_We congratulate you on becoming a _Gryffindor_ finalist in your year in the Halloween fancy dress contest. The final competition will be held during the Christmas Ball, in late December. The same rules will apply as to the previous contest, but you may not use the same costume – a new one _must_ be put together. You will spend the first half of the ball in your costume, in order for the judging to take place, and may then change into appropriate clothing for the dance afterwards. If you have further questions, please do not hesitate to come to us. We hope you will have fun!_

_Yours sincerely,_

_James Potter and Lily Evans_

_Head Boy and Girl_

_P.S. Go get 'em Saffy. And feel free to give me details on what you're wearing when you decide!_

_Love,_

_Lily ;-D_

_Lily! You weren't meant to write personal messages on these! Otherwise I could have written a nice, _polite_ one to Malfoy – oh crap, I've done it now as well. Sorry Sapphire. Congratulations, anyway. (Lily, I'm going to kill you!)_

**-&- **

_Dear Mum,_

_I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to write back to you. I've been studying a lot, so it's been difficult to squeeze in time._

_I'm a horrible liar, aren't I?_

_You want the truth? A lot's been going on lately. It's kind of been like an emotional rollercoaster. I know, I know, you're going to tell me that I should concentrate on my schoolwork more. NEWTs won't be easy, blah blah blah. I _am_ studying. It's just that this has all been going on the. . . sidelines, so to speak._

_I guess I'd better start at the beginning, so that you'll understand. Callie broke up with me. Messily. In the middle of the Halloween contest. She went off to sit with Serena afterwards (I should have seen that coming), and I ended up crying like a baby in the toilets. Mind you, it wasn't totally terrible. Lily Evans (you know, that nice girl you talked to on the platform last year) found me, and now, I think I have new best friends – her and Emma. I honestly can't believe that I missed out on what great people they were for such a long time. I always thought they were really studious and boring, even though I suppose Lily can be quite a hit with the boys – she looks a bit like a Christmas decoration, in a nice way, with her red hair and green eyes. Emma's a bit more . . . cynical, but she's fun too. I feel a lot happier than I have in a long time, and Callie can just go throw herself off a cliff for all I care. I really don't want to remember all the things that she said to me that night._

_In other news, your idea for me going as a Dryad was great, Mum. I'm a finalist in my year in the contest, and the dress was _perfect_. All I had to do was go out and nick a few leaves and flowers from the grounds. I have to find a new costume now, since you're not meant to wear the same one for the finals. Any other brilliant ideas?_

_So, I suppose that at this very moment, my life is pretty good. Wait a moment. I would highly suggest that you hide this part from Dad. _

_Done?_

_Good._

_I have a minor problem with a boy. Not _that_ kind of problem, Mum, and no, don't worry, you won't get any grandkids off me yet! There's this boy in my year, Sirius Black, who won't stop picking on me. It's weird, because he's obviously known I existed for the last six years, but it's like he's only just noticed me. It's not bullying, either, it's just this continual teasing. I suppose I'd better confess that I did have a tiny, TINY crush on him in fifth year, but now I think he's just a pig-headed prat. Lily said I should give him a good kick up the- well, a good kick, but I'm just trying to ignore him at the moment, as per Emma's advice. It's hard though. There are times when I'd just love to punch his smug face. The reason I'm telling you is because from what you used to tell me, I think Dad might have been a bit like this when he first moved into the neighbourhood and started hanging out with you and your friends in the holidays, so I wanted to know what you did to shut him up (please say it involved slapping him round the face!) Have no fear, though; there is VERY little chance that I would EVER like Sirius, considering how much I despise him at this point in time, so I won't be changing my name to Sapphire Black any time soon. Ugh. The thought makes my skin crawl. _

_Anyway, Emma's calling me, we have to go to dinner, so I'll stop here before this gets too heavy for Andromeda to carry. Hope you and Dad are well (Tell him to lay off the cigarettes, _please

_Lots of love,_

_Saffy_

_xxx_

_P.S. If Dad come storming up to the school ready to beat up any boy that so much as looks at me, then I'll _KNOW_ you let him read this, and I will _never write another letter to you again!

**-&-&-&-**

That Saturday was Gryffindor's first Quidditch match of the season, against Slytherin. According to the resident Quidditch fanatics, Gryffindor was already in with a good chance, as long as they scored over than one hundred and fifty points, because Ravenclaw had defeated Slytherin by two hundred and fifty points in their first match. The tension in the air was palpable as Lily woke up. All around her, red clothing was lying on the floor and beds, shows of support for the House. When Emma, Lily and Saffy entered the Great Hall, scarves wrapped firmly round their necks in anticipation of the weather, the first thing noticeable was the Quidditch team, sitting at one end of the table, looking pale and talking quietly. Soon enough, they broke away from the group, leaving the Marauders on their own. James in particular, looked like he had not slept all night, and was not making the slightest effort to bother with eating, despite the fact that his fellow Chaser, Sirius, was piling his plate with sausages and bacon.

After breakfast, the school began to filter out and go down to the Quidditch pitch. Daniel Jordan climbed up into the commentator's box, closely followed by Professor McGonagall, who looked fully intent on monitoring every word he said.

"Welcome to the second match of the season, Gryffindor versus Slytherin! On the Slytherin team, I give you: Crabbe, Goyle, Nott, Lestrange, Avery, Rosier, and the captain . . . Malfoy!" Seven green-robed figures walked out onto the pitch, clutching broomsticks. Lily caught a glimpse of Lucius Malfoy's smug face smirking into the crowd, every blond hair in perfect place.

"And now, the team who will be winning the Cup this year, ("JORDAN!") Sorry Minnie ("JORDAN, DO YOU INTEND TO CONTINUE COMMENTATING THIS YEAR?") Sorry, _Professor_, sorry. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, GRYFFINDOR! I give you: Jacobs, Black, Stevens, Lawrence, Nicholson, Andrews and their captain . . . Potter!"

Unlike the Slytherins, the Gryffindor team looked tense. James' face was grim and set as he faced Malfoy, while his hair and robes blew wildly in the wind.

"Captains, shake hands," Madam Hooch called out. "Mount your brooms. Three – two – one." She blew her whistle, and fourteen brooms rose into the air.

The match was fast and exciting, and Gryffindor took an early lead. Lily watched the green and red blurs race around the pitch with more interest than usual, for reasons she could not seem to explain to herself. Beside her, Sapphire whooped and cheered every time Gryffindor scored, and even Lily could see how hard the team had practiced. The Chasers worked well together, passing seamlessly to each other and almost seeming to read each other's thoughts. Gemma Nicholson and Jack Stevens, the two Beaters, were also doing a good job, forcing the Slytherins to dive randomly all over the pitch in an effort to avoid their Bludgers. Moira, the Seeker, was darting around in the air, high above everyone else, obviously looking for the Snitch. As he circled past, Lily sighted James' face. His eyes were narrowed in focus, his whole expression centred in concentration on the Quaffle as he soared past, shouting an instruction at Sirius. She had to admire his prowess on the broom; he seemed completely at home in the air, managing to both dive and rise fifty metres in the space of about twenty seconds.

Sapphire's excitement was infectious; Lily had never known that she was such an avid Quidditch supporter. Both Remus and Lily found themselves joining in with her cheers as the scores mounted. Gryffindor were leading 160 to 90 – if Moira caught the Snitch now, the game would be theirs. No one even noticed when Emma slipped away, halfway through.

"And Jacobs passes to Black, who passes to Potter, back to Jacobs – ooh, he drops it, and the Quaffle is caught by Nott, damn you ('JORDAN!') sorry Professor, who passes to Lestrange, who – nicely intercepted by that Bludger, hit by Nicholson."

Suddenly, a gasp went round the stands, and everyone collectively craned their necks to squint up into the sky.

Moira and Avery, the Slytherin Seeker, were rising sharply up, at an almost ninety-degree angle, both their hands outstretched towards the tiny gold ball that fluttered innocently above. It looked as though Avery was going to make it first. He knocked Moira's hand out of the way, the crowd held its breath, and . . .

"COME ON, MOIRA!" Sapphire screamed.

Gemma Nicholson, at the last moment, swung her bat at the nearest Bludger, which raced towards Avery at such an angle that he was forced to rise sharply above Moira. A look of ecstatic greed spread over his face as he was moved even closer to the Snitch, and his hand began to close . . .

. . . just as the Snitch, moving sideways to evade his hand, flew straight into Moira's.

The Gryffindor stands exploded.

Sapphire was screaming herself hoarse and jumping up and down, as were many others, while Remus and Peter hi-fived each other in delight. Lily felt herself smiling widely as the Gryffindor team reached the ground.

"AND GRYFFINDOR WINS, 300 POINTS TO 90! CONGRATULATIONS TO CAPTAIN POTTER AND HIS TEAM; THEY'VE JUST GOT INTO FIRST PLACE RUNNING FOR THE QUIDDITCH CUP . . .!"

As the team moved together to congratulate each other, Lily laughed out loud to see Sirius' ecstatic expression, which he was directing at the Slytherins, whose faces looked like thunder. She could just about work out what he was saying.

"Haha! Take that, you smug bastards! Not so tough now, are you?"

Beside him, James launched himself at Moira and hugged her tightly. Shorter than him by about a head and a half, she was almost engulfed by him. He released her, and looked up at the crowds, grinning, his robes sweaty and his hair even messier than it had begun. His eyes met Lily's for an instant, and she read the intense, fierce joy in his hazel eyes as he looked at her, which shook her, for some profoundly inexplicable reason, to the bone. The moment passed, and he was distracted as Sirius bounded up to slap him on the back, talking cheerfully. Pulling herself out of her daze, Lily and Saffy began to make their way out of the stands. Suddenly, Lily turned round.

"Where's Emma?"

Sapphire looked behind her, then shrugged. They continued past the hordes of cheering (or scowling) pupils.

Lily did not have to wait long for her question to be answered. As they made their way towards the castle, Emma appeared beside them, looking excited, but apprehensive.

"Where were -" Lily began, but Emma interrupted her hurriedly, her face pale.

"It's ready, Lily. The potion's ready."

**-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Okay, so this was a bit of a short chapter, but it was necessary! Anyway, reviews always make me feel like updating faster (hint hint hint)!


	12. Polyjuice Potion

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?) Kudos to JKR, since I copied some bits out of CoS for authenticity in this chapter.

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion**

At ten o'clock that night, the party was still raging in the Gryffindor common room, and showed no signs of abating (at least, until McGonagall herself showed up). Bottles of Butterbeer and various snacks had mysteriously appeared on the table, and people helped themselves liberally as they celebrated their Quidditch victory. The only people who did not look as though they were thoroughly enjoying themselves were three girls clustered in a corner. Although they all had drinks in their hands, in an attempt to look festive, their faces were working against them, as they went through the circular conversation that they had had many times before in the course of the evening.

"Look, I can keep the potion going until tomorrow, it'll stay 'til then. I don't think it's a good idea to do it tonight. Everyone's too hyped up."

"What am I supposed to do again?" Lily questioned. Emma sighed.

"I'm going to distract Keegan and Tom – I'll ask them to go on a run with me, or something. All you have to do is take the potion, go up to their dorm, and start up a casual conversation, but work in a few questions as well. You'll have an hour to do that, then just come down again."

"Oh, is that _all_?" Lily said sarcastically. "What if Remus finds out where you are?"

"Good point." Emma frowned. "I'd suppose I should tell him that I'll be going for a run with them." She got up and made her way over to Remus, where he stood with his friends. Lily watched as she began talking and gesturing, until her gaze drifted sideways to the others. James and Sirius, James especially, had been receiving a lot of compliments for the match, but while Sirius bowed and smiled, James threw everything onto Moira's skill with such sincerity, that Lily wondered why his normally gigantic ego seemed to be so flat.

"Lily?" Sapphire was leaning forward, her eyebrows furrowed. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

Lily shrugged, trying to make her tone sound light. "It's too late, anyway. The potion's ready."

"Yeah, but I have a really bad feeling about this. We're going to come out of this badly."

Lily curled up on her chair, her green eyes reflecting the dancing light of the fire opposite. "Good or bad, there's nothing I can do now."

**-&-**

The first thing Lily knew the next day was a persistent shaking. She opened her eyes to see Emma's face.

"Whassa matter?" she grumbled, turning over.

"Come on, you have to take the potion." Lily sat bolt upright, sleep falling away like her blankets. Sapphire was already sitting up on her bed, dressed and watching her nervously. After going to the bathroom, she came back and started pulling jeans on.

"You know, you can't really be Keegan if you're going to walk around in girls' clothes," Sapphire pointed out helpfully.

"I have a pair of trousers and a jumper here." Emma held up a bag. "I sneaked them out of the laundry yesterday. Besides," she added critically, eyeing Lily, "you're going to need something to change back into afterwards. Come on."

The three girls hurried silently down corridors, following Emma, who led them straight into . . . a girls' bathroom.

"Em, you didn't make it in Moaning Myrtle's place!" Lily gasped. She coughed, and waved her hand futilely at the thick black smoke.

"Well no one ever comes here, so it seemed like a safe bet," Emma said. She opened a cubicle door, and Lily caught a glimpse of a black cauldron bubbling on a toilet inside. She averted her eyes and looked instead at Sapphire, who seemed more and more apprehensive each minute. Soon Emma came back out with a glass of what looked like thick mud.

"Here," she said, handing it to Lily. "Hold." She fished in her pocket, and came up with a bottle containing three blond-brown hairs. Taking them out, she gave them to Lily, who dropped them in. The potion hissed and bubbled, before turning a deep cerulean blue. Feeling only slightly less nauseous, Lily gave Emma and Sapphire another glance, and then, holding her nose, drank the potion down quickly.

She did not have time to register the taste before her stomach began to writhe . . . she heard Emma and Sapphire's horrified gasps as she dropped to all fours and her skin began to bubble like hot wax, reshaping itself into a boy's body. Her jumper came loose at the front, as did her bra, as her chest receded, and she felt the weight of her hair disappearing from her shoulders, as her skin grew tanned. Suddenly it all stopped, and Lily got up gingerly, taking a ragged breath.

Emma and Sapphire were staring at her in shocked amazement.

"Give me the clothes," Lily said, and the voice that came out was not hers, but a smooth low voice. Keegan's. Mutely, Emma handed over the bag, and she stepped into a cubicle to change. She came out again and gave Emma a half-grin.

"Well, at least I know that the hairs weren't from Malfoy now," she joked awkwardly.

Sapphire's mouth was still hanging open.

Crossing over to a cracked mirror, Lily examined her – or rather, Keegan's, face; the face of a boy she had known for six years. She ran a hand through the short blond-brown hair, and over the tanned skin. Her nails were no longer long and feminine, but short and blunt. She turned round.

"You know, you could have got me some shoes."

Emma seemed to pull herself together. "Doesn't matter. Come on, we have to go." The three of them took a quick route back to the tower.

"Don't walk like that."

Lily looked back at Sapphire. "Huh?"

"Don't sort of . . . sway your hips. You're not a girl any more. And it wouldn't hurt to swing your arms a bit, either."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, that'll do."

In a corridor near the Fat Lady, Emma stopped and pushed the other two into a shady alcove, behind a suit of armour, and shoved Lily's clothes at Sapphire.

"Right, you two stay here. I'm going to go meet the boys. Once you hear us go past, go straight to the Tower and do your stuff. Saffy, you'd better wait downstairs. About five minutes before your hour's up, come down, meet up, and go back to the toilets to change. I'll meet you, as soon as I can."

Lily gave her a nod, and Emma walked off down the corridor. There was an uncomfortable silence, until Sapphire began to laugh quietly.

"Imagine if anyone found us here!" she gasped, clutching her side. "It would be all over the school: 'Heathleigh and Adams caught snogging', but Keegan wouldn't even know what had happened!"

Lily began to laugh too, but quickly sobered up as she heard footsteps. Presently, Emma's voice could be heard.

" . . . So where do you usually run? I mean, this place is full of ways, but still, you must have a route you like . . ." She continued to talk aimlessly, but both hidden girls (or boy) felt her gaze sweep over them as they walked on. As soon as the voices had faded, Lily squeezed out. Ten of her precious sixty minutes had already gone.

"See you then," she said, and walking quickly, she entered the tower and headed up the boys' stairs, trying hard to look as though everything was normal.

The boys' corridor looked much like the girls'. Lily headed towards the last door, which had _Seventh-years_ on it in curly writing, took a deep breath, and walked in.

"Keegan!" said a voice in surprise.

At first Lily did not reply, too busy taking in the dormitory. The basic decoration and arrangement did not differ much from her own room. It was simply the boyish differences; aftershaves and colognes lying where make-up would normally be, a general . . . mess on the floor instead of the odd bra or _Witch Weekly_ magazine dropped carelessly, and the many posters of Quidditch teams on the wall. Remus was sitting on his bed, sorting through a stack of parchment, and Sirius appeared to be searching for something under his bed. Peter was reading a book in the corner.

"I thought you'd gone for a run with Tom and Emma?"

"Yeah, well, uhm . . ." Lily looked at her feet and tried desperately to come up with something. "We were, uh, running, and my trainer came off, so I, uh, tripped, and my . . . ankle hurts. Yeah, really painful." She sat down on the nearest bed, praying it was Keegan's.

"Oh," Remus said, his attention back on the parchment.

Relieved that he wasn't more curious, Lily bent down and pretended to rub her ankle. She was feeling distinctly ill at ease.

Just then, the door banged open, and James barged in. looking fresh and clean, his hair wet. "Padfoot, the bathroom's yours." He turned round and saw Lily. "Uh, Keegan? Why're you sitting on my bed?"

_Oh damn_. She got up hurriedly. "Sorry, I just sat down anywhere." Frantically, she looked round, and thankfully spotted a photo of what looked like Keegan's family on a dresser. She moved over, trying hard to fake a slight limp, and began to rub her ankle again, nervously.

"Why aren't you out running with Tom, anyway?" James called, towelling his hair. Lily repeated her story as sincerely as she could make herself sound. James turned to her and raised an eyebrow as he dried his hair. "How did you manage to fall over and do all that when you only left ten minutes ago?"

"I fell over just outside, I didn't do my trainer up properly," Lily lied. She shifted uncomfortably as James gave her a strange look, and turned to Sirius again.

"OI, PADFOOT, BATHROOM'S FREE!" he yelled. Sirius emerged, grinning triumphantly and looking like he had just aged forty years – his head was covered in dust.

"Found it!" he proclaimed, holding a dusty green sock up. "Sorry James darling, did you call?"

James rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Forget it."

Remus looked up. "You know, Prongs, you should really tidy your bit up."

James surveyed the mess around him and groaned. "But it's a Sunday!"

"All the more reason to do it," Remus replied calmly.

Grumbling, James began to pick up the random pieces of underwear on the carpet.

"Remmie dear, do stop taking lessons from Emma. You're not our mother now, are you?" Sirius chided teasingly.

"Speaking of Emma, aren't you worried about the fact that she's out with Tom?" Peter asked slyly.

"No," Remus said simply. "I trust her."

Lily saw her opportunity. "So, you really like her, huh?" she asked casually.

"Yeah," Remus said quietly. "She's special."

Lily fought to control the girlish squeal of delight that threatened to erupt; she doubted it would be taken very well. Instead, she nodded impassively, and bent down to her ankle again.

"Speaking of girls, Wormtail, who were _you_ dreaming about?" Sirius smirked. Peter went red.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh yes you do. I saw you changing your sheets in the middle of the night! You had a . . . _wet dream!_" Sirius' voice became hushed, but his grin grew even wider as Peter turned purple and sputtered like a firework. Lily felt slightly ill as she realised what they were talking about. _Oh my god_, she thought faintly, as she attempted to smile weakly at Sirius' crude jokes. _I've been scarred for life._

After getting more and more agitated, Peter finally thought of a comeback. "I'm not the one who dreams about a certain red-head every night!" he squeaked.

The grin began to fade from James' face.

"Why don't you tell us about these dreams of yours, Jamesie?" Sirius rounded on him.

"I've heard him saying her name in his sleep," Peter said breathlessly. "All the time."

Even Remus was looking up in interest now.

Sirius looked like he was having the time of his life. "So what exactly goes on in this 'working relationship' between you two that provides such interesting material for dreams?"

_Oh god. Please, please don't let them be talking about . . ._

James turned abruptly away and bent down to his bed, but not before Lily had seen his flushed cheeks. "Lily and I are just friends."

_Woah. Hold up a minute there. Has the world stopped turning? James doesn't have a crush on me anymore?_

_YES!_

"Hmm . . ." Sirius said mockingly.

"At least I don't bloody bully girls, like you!"

"Who, Sapphire?" Sirius looked innocent. "She's just . . . she has a lovely reaction to it, that's all." He grabbed his bathrobe hastily. "I should go shower." The door swung shut behind him as he walked out.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "There's something not right about that. . ."

"Nah, he just hates her so much that he doesn't want to talk about her," James said off-handedly. The conversation switched to more everyday topics, including a heated discussion of Quidditch between James and Peter. Far from feeling happier about the change of subject, Lily began to feel more and more uncomfortable, as though she was she was intruding on their privacy. The feeling intensified and weighed more and more on her conscience as she thought about it. Even if they could be immature prats at times, wasn't it a bit . . . immoral to be listening to all their secrets like this?

_How could I have agreed to this?_ she thought in shock, completely oblivious to the others. _I'm worse than they could ever be!_

"Hey, Keegan, you ok?" James asked, breaking into her train of thought. "You're not usually this quiet, especially when we're discussing the Kenmare Kestrels!"

"Yeah. Whatever." Lily looked blankly at her watch. Time to go. "I'm gonna . . . go get food. See you guys later." She walked out as quickly as she could manage. Clomping down the stairs, she met Sapphire in the common room and the two of them headed down to the toilets, Lily's anger growing with every step.

Five minutes later, Lily emerged from the toilet looking like herself again, complete with suitable clothes. The transformation had gone without a hitch; but Sapphire was not blind to the look on her friend's face.

"Come on," she barked at Sapphire. "We have to go . . . _discuss_ things with Emma." She swept off down the corridor, her rage burning a trail of fire through her mind, and almost slammed into someone – Tom, who was coming down in the opposite direction. Not even bothering to say sorry, she stormed down various passages until she reached the Portrait Hole and climbed through it.

"Hey Lily, we need to -" a voice said. Lily turned her head to see James standing a few feet away. He gave her a puzzled look as she threw him a Class A glare.

"Later," she ground out, and she carried on up the girls' stairs. Sapphire, following her, could only shrug apologetically as she hurried after her.

The door flew open, and Emma looked up in surprise to see Lily standing in the middle of the dormitory, Sapphire closing the door quietly behind her.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"How'd it go? _How'd it go?_ I'll tell you how it went, Emma Vance. _How could you do this to me_?"

**-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Do a good deed for humankind (or rather, for my ego) and leave a review. You know you want to…


	13. Hangover

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?) Kudos to JKR, since I copied some bits out of CoS for authenticity in this chapter.

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Previously on TTOTH…**

_The door flew open, and Emma looked up in surprise to see Lily standing in the middle of the dormitory, Sapphire closing the door quietly behind her._

_'How'd it go?' she asked._

_'How'd it go? How'd it go? I'll tell you how it went, Emma Vance. How could you do this to me?'_

**-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 13: Hangover**

"What?" Emma asked, clearly confused.

"Emma, I know I had my doubts, and even Saffy told me she wasn't happy about it, but _how_ could you talk me into taking this stupid potion in the first place?"

Emma looked to Sapphire, who could only shrug.

"What went wrong? Did Remus say something?"

Lily laughed, but it was a sound that had no real mirth in it. "Oh yes, Remus _totally_ likes you. He _completely trusts you_, and he thinks you're _special_." She spat the word out. "All you had to do was ask him, and he would have told you himself. Instead, you had to rope us all into this _mess_."

Emma still looked bemused. "Then what happened? Calm down, Lils, it can't have been anything _that_ bad, can it?"

"Oh, nothing _happened_, Emma!" Lily was yelling now. "It's the principle of the thing! How could you talk me into – strike that, how could you come up with the whole idea of doing this?"

"Lily, why are you so worried? I mean, as long as they don't find out, it's alright, isn't it? I'm happy, you're happy, they're happy, it all turned out okay."

"So the end justifies the means, does it?" Lily exploded. "You're telling me it's fine to do the deceitful thing that we just did, because as long as you're not paranoid, it's all good, huh?"

"No, but . . ." Emma gave up trying to placate her and tried a different tack. "Well, at least it's all over now. We can just forget about it."

She had said the wrong thing.

"I don't think you understand, Emma! I've been feeling sick with myself since I walked out of their dorm! We've spent all these years condemning the Marauders for all the pranks they've played over the years, when we've just done something that's worse, and more . . . more. . ." Lily struggled for words, "more _immoral_ than anything they've ever done, or are probably ever going to do! The guilt from that isn't just going to _go away_, Emma! You don't just _forget_!"

Emma's eyes flashed. "In case you don't remember, _Lily_, I didn't _force_ you into this! You do have your own free will!"

"I know. And I blame myself for agreeing to go along with this, but I blame you even more for deciding to go about it in this way!"

"But you didn't _have_ to agree! This isn't some sort of forced labour camp – you're allowed to disagree with me! You're treating this like I _made_ you take the potion!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't have to if you had told us _before_ you started making it, so that we'd have some input!"

"That was because I knew you would react the way you did and stop me from getting anywhere with it!"

"Oh, so you had already _planned_ for me to say yes? You think I'm such a pushover? Oh yes, Lily isn't stubborn at _all_, she'll do _whatever I ask her to, _even if it involves _deceiving my boyfriend_!"

"Actually, at the minute, you ARE being stubborn. A stubborn cow."

As Lily gaped in outrage, Sapphire stepped quickly in between the two of them; Lily had forgotten that she was even there. "Come on, can't we just sit down and talk this out calmly, before you bring the roof down?" Her words were brushed aside as the two girls glared daggers at each other. Emma was the first to speak.

"I can't believe my own best friend would turn on me."

"I can't believe my own best friend would be so deceitful," Lily shot back.

"You know, before you start labelling other people's faults, Lily Evans, you should take a look at your own."

"Well at least I admit when I'm in the wrong!"

"Do you? I can't hear you saying anything now! Just a load of mindless rubbish, that's all that's coming out of your mouth!"

Lily stared at her in shock. "Then maybe you won't be listening to _mindless rubbish_ coming out of this _mouth_ any longer!" she yelled. "Why were we _ever_ friends?"

"Well we're not now, are we?" Emma shouted back.

Sapphire stared in horror.

"See if I care!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Lily stormed out of the dormitory, slamming it behind her. She could hear Sapphire calling her, behind, but the last thing she wanted to do was to walk back in, and so she continued down to the common room and sat down in a sofa by the window. The clouds drifting steadily by outside calmed her, and she began to feel more clear-headed, though not less angry or upset.

Eventually, she turned around and surveyed the room. The Marauders were lounging in chairs by the fire, discussing something intently. Just then, Remus said something to James, who turned round to see her. For a moment, he was tempted to smile at her, as their eyes locked, but he was arrested by the expression she held. She looked weary . . . as though she had lost her peace of mind. For a few seconds she held his gaze, then let it drop and turned back to the window.

"You know, Prongs," Sirius smirked. "Eye contact is widely known to be one of the most powerful forms of flirting."

"Save it, Sirius." James sighed. "I've told you before. We're just friends, for one thing, and besides, she obviously isn't in the mood for anything like that."

Sirius grinned. "Whatever you say, Prongs. Whatever you say."

**-&-&-&-**

When Sapphire finally came down, she found Lily in the same position as she had been in half an hour ago.

"Hi Saffy," she said quietly, as Sapphire sat down.

"Hey. Look, I've just talked to Emma, and she's doing exactly the same thing as you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Go figure," she muttered quietly.

Sapphire frowned. "Please, can't you just talk to her and sort this out? You _can't_ just pretend your friendship never existed!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Lily! Just go up and say the first word, and this'll be over!"

Lily shook her head. "Not going to happen. It's not my fault."

Sapphire looked at her for a moment. "Actually Lils, if you want the truth, some of it is. If you felt this strongly about it, you should've said so _before_ you took the potion, not after."

"I KNOW, Saffy, ok? I already admitted that was my fault. It's Emma's problem now, not mine."

"But if you just made the first move, then -"

"No. I won't. Let her work it out by herself."

Sapphire sighed in defeat. "Okay," she said quietly. "I want you both to know that I'm not taking sides – it's between you two, and you both have to sort it out."

Lily nodded. "Look, I'm going to . . . uhm, do some homework in the library. See you around." She got up and walked out of the common room, before realizing that her bag was up in the dormitory, but she did not go back. _Oh well_, she thought, continuing to walk, _maybe its better. I probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway. _Stopping, she leant against the cool stone wall, just under a flickering torch, and rubbed her eyes furiously.

_Why did it have to come to this?_

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **Looking back at this chapter, I found quite a few "Americanisms" where the language that Lily used didn't exactly…well, it was more americanised than I wanted it to be. I've changed it wherever possible, but a few examples remain, so please excuse them. Anyway, you know that little purple button? points at bottom left corner of screen It's calling your name, begging you to click it…respond to the call…leave a review…


	14. One Step Forwards

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?) Kudos to JKR, since I copied some bits out of CoS for authenticity in this chapter.

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Read on!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 14: One Step Forward . . . **

A week had passed since the fight.

Needless to say, it had not been good.

Sitting at a desk, Lily paused, her quill suspended over a Potions essay, and thought back over the past seven days. Lessons had been uncomfortable, particularly those where she and Emma sat together and could not change places with anybody. Thankfully none of these classes had required partner work – yet – and so Lily had kept her eyes trained firmly on her textbook the whole time. Sapphire went from one to the other, using every means she could think of to get them to talk to each other (none of which worked) and did her best to alternate her time between the two of them. In the end, however, Lily, growing tired of knowing that her friend would be feeling guilty over being with one or the other all the time, told Sapphire to just stay with Emma. When Sapphire did not look fully convinced, Lily elaborated and explained that she had numerous Head duties that would keep her busy, and so it would not matter (in fact, her Head duties at the time were more or less non-existent).

Because of this, she had taken to eating either at the beginning or end of mealtimes, alone, when there were not as many people around, or simply going down to the kitchens whenever she felt in need of nourishment – the house elves were more than happy to help. The rest of her time she had at first devoted to homework in the Library and common room, but eventually getting tired of the curious stares that she received (or in the case of Emma, glares), she had migrated to the Heads' rooms. She now wondered that she or James had not made more use of it before – she knew for certain that he had not come in at all. The rooms became a source of peace, and a haven from her troubled social life. Although she honestly did miss being able to laugh, carefree, with Emma and Sapphire, her one comfort was that she was completely on top of all the homework that her professors were piling on the class.

The truth?

If Lily dug deep, she knew that the truth was that she really missed her friend, and if it wasn't for a strong conviction that she was in the right, she would have burst into tears several times by the end of the week, as well as gone to find Emma. As it was, her spirits were low, and more than anything, she just wanted to have her life rewind a little, back to happier times when she could laugh and talk to people who cared.

She chewed on her quill, checked up another fact in the book beside her, and then continued to write, the steady tick of the clock on the wall being the only sound that accompanied her. She was so absorbed in her work that she did not notice that someone else had entered the room until they spoke.

"You know, with reactions like yours, a rabbit on the road would be dead meat in about ten seconds."

Lily spun round, startled, then let out a breath of relief. "Oh, it's you."

James grinned. He was leaning on the wall where the door was, watching her interestedly.

"Enjoying Potions?"

Lily made a face. "What do you think?"

James straightened up and crossed his arm. "Seriously, Lily? I think you need to start talking. You've barely opened your mouth in ages, you never come to meals, and from what I know, you've practically bought this place; you've spent so much time holed up in here alone. What gives?"

Lily did her best to give him a cheery, normal smile. "Nothing! You're imagining things; I'm just . . . catching up on work."

James raised an eyebrow. "Lily Evans, I am quite capable of coming over there and either tickling or beating you up until you spill. Do you really want me to do that?"

Alarmed at the thought of James manhandling her in any way, Lily hesitated, then gave in. She swivelled round, back to the desk, to avoid James' penetrating gaze.

"Fine. I . . . er . . . I had a fight," she said in a small voice.

"With Emma?" James guessed.

"Yes."

"Aaah," James nodded sagely. "Thought so. Well -"

"DON'T tell me to go talk to her, Saffy's already done that loads of times, and if she didn't work on me, you certainly won't."

"Actually," James cleared his throat. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come and hang out with us."

"Oh." Lily shifted in her seat, wondering for a moment if she had heard right. "Well, that's nice of you, but, uhm, I'm fine right now. Thanks anyway."

"Oh come on. We won't bite. Well, Remus might -"

Lily gave him a confused look.

"Private joke. Please?"

"No, really, it's fine."

"Lily." His tone was so serious that she turned around again, fully, to look up at him. "This isn't just me talking. This is Sirius and Remus and Peter as well, and we won't take no for an answer. You can't pretend to me that you've actually _enjoyed_ the past week."

"Well no, but . . ." Lily did not know what to say. 'Okay, okay, fine, I'll come! Uhm…thanks.'

"Good. So, wanna come raid the kitchens?"

Lily looked back down at her unforgiving essay. "I need to finish this first, so n-" She was cut off by a loud rumble from her stomach.

"Betrayed by your own stomach." James grinned. "You should really discipline it better."

"Alright, I get the point." Lily laughed. "I'm coming, I'm coming." She put her quill and parchment into her bag, pushed it under the table, and got up.

"Good, 'cause you've deprived me of," James checked his watch, "five minutes which I could have used to stuff my face. I'm a growing teenage boy who needs his food. Let's go."

". . . wonder how long it'll take for him to convince her . . ." a voice said. Lily climbed through the door after James and found herself face-to-face with Remus and Sirius, who were standing outside.

"Prongsie, old boy! Finally!"

James shut the door behind them. "Where's Peter?" he asked.

"Filch dragged him off. Said he was dripping mud."

Lily looked around her. The floor was spotless. Moving her gaze up, she could not help but feel another twinge of nervousness, surrounded as she was by these three tall boys.

"Are you _sure_ you don't mind putting up with me?" she asked cautiously.

"The question, my dear Lily," Remus said cheerfully, "is not whether we can put up with you, but whether _you _can put up with _us_." He stopped for a moment. "Actually, retract that. _I'm_ perfectly normal. It's _this_ demented maniac," he pointed at Sirius, "you want to watch out for, and his partner in crime here."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed in mock-outrage. He punched Remus playfully; James snorted.

"Now, where were we? Ah yes. The kitchens."

**-&-&-&-**

Suddenly, to Lily, life seemed ten times better. Granted, the Marauders were no match for her own friends, but they provided the companionship that she had been wishing for, and contrary to her expectations, they all seemed to be making sure that she fitted in with them and was having fun, even down to Peter, who she shared several laughs before the day was out. She studied with Remus, while James and Sirius joked around and made her laugh, and within a few hours, she felt very much at home with them. One moment that she would cherish forever, she knew, would be the look of shock on Emma's (and indeed, everyone's) faces when she walked nonchalantly in with the Marauders to breakfast the next morning, sat down, and laughed her way through the meal as she watched James, Sirius and Peter consume several times their own weight in food (or so it seemed), and McGonagall's amazed expression when she sat down next to James in her Transfiguration lesson and proceeded to Transfigure her rock perfectly into a golden Labrador puppy (what McGonagall did not know was that James had been hissing instructions and tips out of the corner of his mouth the whole time). All in all, she was a lot happier, and surely, Lily thought, that had to give the Marauders _some_ plus points.

At the end of the lesson, Professor McGonagall called James and Lily up to her desk. After congratulating Lily on her sudden and dramatic improvement in class (Lily had to fight very hard to hide her laughter), she gave them a more serious look.

"Now, I know that we have allowed you a few weeks off after the Halloween contest to relax, but it is time you began planning for the Winter Ball, or whatever you choose to call it. You have six weeks, if you hold a meeting today as well. That gives you ample time, as long as you are prepared to work hard." Her eyes settled approvingly on Lily. "In light of your recent performance in this lesson, Miss Evans, I do not think it will be too much of a problem."

**-&-**

So, accordingly, that night the two of them seated themselves in front of the fire in the Heads' common room, with a pile of parchment, and began to discuss the options.

"What dress code should it be?" James tilted his chair back on two legs.

"Actually, I was thinking maybe Muggle formal clothes. They look a lot nicer than wizarding robes, and I'm sure we could persuade Gladrags into stocking them for us. I don't know if you've ever seen them before." Lily bent down and pulled two pictures from her bag, which she placed on the table for James' scrutiny. He looked down at them.

"Yeah," he said, after a moment. "The Muggle clothes are nicer – and I'm not just saying that because they reveal a lot more skin!" Lily raised her eyebrows. "But you're wrong, I have seen stuff like this before."

"When?" Lily asked. She had thought that he came from a pureblood wizarding family.

"Two words: my sister."

"One word: huh?"

"My sister, Maddie. Well – her name's Madeleine, but we call her Maddie."

"I never knew you had a sister! What about her?"

"Well, everyone else in the family showed magical signs when they were really young, but Maddie didn't, so my parents thought that she might be a Squib, and sent her to primary school. Turns out she _was_ a witch – she turned a friend's hair purple during a fight, a couple of weeks before she got her letter." James grinned. "Mum and Dad weren't too happy about explaining to Caitlin Walters' parents that the girls _hadn't_ been experimenting with hair dyes under our roof. Anyway, Maddie didn't want to come here, she was too into the Muggle world, so Dad let her go to Muggle secondary school, and he coaches her in magic privately. My whole point is, I've seen the things she wears to her formal dances and stuff. I also know what a nightmare it is being dragged round to help shop for them – or, in my case, carry bags." He grimaced, and Lily laughed.

"You have an interesting family."

"My family is all like me."

"Insane?"

"You bet."

Rolling her eyes, Lily moved on. "Ok, so we have to sort that out later. Uh . . . decorations?"

James groaned. "Can't we just take a five-minute break? That was a _very_ long piece of family history I just had to tell you."

Lily gave him a mock-angry look, and then sighed. "Fine." She slid down in her chair and stretched out. "Do you know what Sirius is planning for the contest finals?" she asked suddenly.

"No, Don't think he's even thought about it yet, to be honest." James let the chair fall forward again. "Why? Planning to leak secrets to Sapphire?"

"Maybe."

James sighed dramatically. "You know, it's a pity I wasn't chosen. I had a costume all planned."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? What?"

"James Dean." James shot her another mischievous grin. "I can just see myself as a rebel without a cause."

"Hmm." Lily cocked her head. "Yeah, I can just see you in a tight white T-shirt and blue jeans." She laughed. "Pity he was a raving homosexual who was almost certainly HIV-positive." She grinned wickedly. "Unless you're trying to tell me something about you and Sirius . . . and all the girls are just decoys."

James put a hand to his heart in mock-horror. "Alas, you've discovered my deepest, darkest secret! Woe betide us all!"

"Uh, James? Don't say stuff like that. It just worries me." Lily was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Actually, you just created a rather sickening mental image. Are you sure you don't need therapy?"

"Always have done."

Once again, the room resounded with their laughter.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **Short chapter? nods Yeah, I know, a little. It's necessary though. You'll see…next time I update…In the meantime…review? puppydog face – readers recoil in disgust Okay, fine, so that didn't work. I order you to go review me! (excuse the fact that this sounds incredibly overbearing!)


	15. And Ten Steps Back

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?) Kudos to JKR, since I copied some bits out of CoS for authenticity in this chapter.

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Read on!**

**NOTE: This chapter contains one reference to PG-13/ mild R-rated content. Don't read it if you don't like things like that.**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 15: . . . And Ten Steps Back

At seven in the morning, a few days later, an alarm clock went off. A hand emerged from under the blankets to turn it off (translation: bang it vigorously until it shut up), and the figure of a dishevelled redhead rose up. Realising what time it was, she dressed quickly and made her way to the common room. She sank into a comfortable chair and tried hard not to fall back into slumber.

Five minutes passed.

Shaking herself awake, she walked to the foot of the boys' dormitory stairs, and called up them.

"James!"

There was no response. Frowning, she tried again a few minutes later. "JAMES!"

A pair of fourth-years passing through gave her a curious look, but there was no response from the person she was calling. Sighing, she sat down, and waited for a further five minutes before groaning, getting up, and going up the stairs. Making her way towards the seventh-year dorm, she smiled guiltily to herself as she retraced her steps from a week and a half ago. She knocked lightly on the door. "Hello?"

Footsteps sounded across the dorm. "Who is it?" Sirius called.

"Lily. Can I come in?"

There was a muffled yelp, presumably from Peter, and Sirius called back hurriedly. "No, don't, Peter isn't quite . . . uh, presentable yet."

To her amusement, Lily could hear him muttering to Peter. ". . .no you idiot, just put some trousers on and then get rid of the Dungbombs – push the fireworks under Remus' bed, yeah, and the ink pellets . . ."

"Sirius," Lily called, trying hard not to laugh. "In case you didn't realise, I can hear every word you say, so unless you want to give me the advantage of blackmail, I would suggest you shut up and did what I wanted."

"Damn," Sirius muttered. He exhaled loudly. "Ok Lily, what do you want?"

"Is James awake?"

"No . . . he's," Lily heard Sirius crossing the room, and there was a rattle of curtains being drawn back, "fast asleep."

"Can you wake him up please? Remind him that we've got . . ." Lily looked at her watch, "fifteen minutes to go deliver the plans to McGonagall before breakfast."

She heard bedsprings creaking, and Sirius' slightly more stifled voice. "James? Wake up! Oi, Prongs mate, you've got company! Our lovely Head Girl is standing outside!"

A few seconds of silence, then Sirius called out, "He's not waking up!"

Lily groaned. "Then do something, anything! Strip the covers off him, pour cold water on him, whatever it takes!"

There was the sound of something falling to the floor, and a moment later, Lily heard a tap open.

Sirius sounded more hesitant when he replied this time. "Pete just stripped the covers, but obviously he finds it comfortable, even when his whole upper half's soaking. Still asleep, Lils, sorry."

"Arrgh!" Lily made a noise of frustration. She thought for a few moments. "Sirius, you can hear me fairly clearly, right?"

"Yeah," came the bemused reply.

"Good." Lily took a deep breath. "JAMES POTTER, GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OUT OF BED THIS _INSTANT_!"

A second year emerging from a dormitory further down the hall gave her a scandalised look. She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, just trying to wake up a lazy Head Boy." The boy gave her a strange look and scuttled off quickly; Lily sighed. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

_"I_ definitely heard you, and I'm pretty sure the whole Tower did too, but Jamesie here didn't." He was chuckling as he spoke.

Peter was laughing too. "Always knew you had the language in you, Lily! I'm sure James would have been glad to know that he was the one who brought it out!" he called.

"Oh trust me," Lily said darkly. "He's brought it out plenty of times before this."

Sirius sighed. "I am helping you out for the sole reason that I don't intend to be blackmailed into being nice to Snivellus for a month, or into scrubbing the Transfiguration classroom. Remember that." There was a creak again, and then Sirius began yelling.

"JAMES! LILY AND I HAVE DECLARED OUR UNDYING LOVE FOR EACHOTHER! WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW! AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE WILD SWEATY ANIMAL SEX DAY AND NIGHT FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS ON OUR HONEYMOON IN THE CARIBBEAN!"

"SIRIUS!" Lily cried. "You are so dead!"

"I thought it would be worth it to see the look on his face when he woke up," Sirius called innocently. "Only problem with that was that he didn't wake up."

"Is the boy _completely_ deaf?" Peter's shocked voice sounded.

Lily breathed deeply and slowly, trying to stay calm. "What am I going to do?" she asked frustratedly. "I can't go alone, we're _both_ meant to hand the stuff in, and I now have," she checked her watch, "seven minutes to go down here." She slumped against the door and slid down into a sitting position against it. Inside the dorm, there was silence. Lily could almost hear Peter and Sirius shrugging helplessly at each other.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this," she said at last, resignedly. "James, if you get yourself out here in less than five minutes, I will _kiss _you."

There was a brief pause as Sirius relayed the message by yelling it into James' ear, sounding more than a little shocked as he did so. Seconds later, there was an answering flurry of movement, and Peter whooped.

"Way to go, Lily! You've really lit a fire under him!"

"If I'd known he reacted this fast to this kind of bribery, I would have used it years ago!"

James' disgusted voice sounded. "Padfoot, never, _never _try bribing me with a kiss from you."

Exactly three minutes and twenty seconds later, the door opened and Lily fell backwards onto a pair of shoes. James grinned as he hauled her up, his hair tousled, and his t-shirt looking like it had gone years without knowing the touch of an iron.

"Ow," she complained, rubbing her back. "You could have warned me! Your trainers _hurt_ to fall onto!"

"Sorry," said James, not looking sorry at all. "Now, I believe you promised me something?"

"Oh yeah," Lily said. She caught sight of Peter and Sirius hovering just inside the dormitory, and pulled the door firmly shut. "No audiences."

"Fair enough."

"How come you ignore everything except the last offer?"

"I have selective hearing." James smirked. "Besides, kisses from girls like you are _not_ something you come by every day."

"And flattery will _not_ get you round me," Lily said, although she was half-smiling. She stood on tiptoe, grabbed his arm, and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Well. That was what was supposed to happen. In theory, at least. The reality was that Lily stood on tiptoe, put one hand on his arm to steady herself, and used the other to bring his face closer to hers, and pressed her lips briefly to his cheek.

Deed done.

"Hey!" James complained.

"I never said _where_ I would kiss you!" Lily said merrily. She looked at the time. "Oh God! We have to go! One minute!" She started running down the corridor.

"The plans?" hollered James, as he chased after her.

"I got them from the Head rooms just now, before I came up to find you," Lily tossed over her shoulder as she scrambled out of the portrait hole.

_Damn early risers_, James thought as he screeched to a halt and knocked Lily over outside the Transfiguration classroom.

**-&-&-&-**

Having handed in three scrolls of parchment to an only slightly irate Professor McGonagall, Lily and James made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. Sapphire gave them a smile as they walked past, while Emma looked determinedly in the other direction.

It was when Lily sat down that she realized how very strangely Sirius was behaving. He and Remus were sitting at one end, and Sirius was laughing madly at something while Remus, plainly trying to ignore him, had his nose buried in a book.

"Jamesie!" Sirius guffawed and Lily pulled a few slices of toast onto her plate. "Betcha that's what your mum calls you when no one's around. 'Jamesie dear, come get your tea like a good little boy!''" He chortled, and James rolled his eyes.

"How much sugar has he had?" he asked Remus.

"Hmm?" Remus said absently. He looked up at Sirius, then James. "Is that including or not including the two packs of Bertie Botts, our entire stash of Chocolate Frogs, and all that toffee your mum sent him last week?"

"Bloody hell," James said. "Sugar high," he explained briefly to Lily. "This is why it's a bad idea to let him loose in Honeydukes."

Meanwhile, Sirius had picked up the orange that Lily had been peeling, and pulled it apart.

"Segment!" he said cheerily, holding one up. "Isn't that a sexy word? Come on, say it with me! Segment. Seg-ment."

"Told you he was a demented maniac," Remus said, as he turned a page.

Lily turned to Remus. "Remus, have you . . . uh, talked to Emma recently?"

Remus looked up again. "No, not really. I've got a funny feeling she's avoiding me . . ."

". . . because I'm around," Lily finished. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't be." Remus took a sip of orange juice. "It's up to her to choose what she does."

"Don't be silly," Sirius snorted. "The only reason they aren't talking is because of a minor disagreement, isn't it? What is it now, Remmie-poo? Sleeping positions?" He giggled madly; Remus eyed him in disgust and moved away towards James. "Doesn't she know that werewolves like it doggy-style?"

There was silence.

James' head had shot up, and he was staring in undisguised horror at Sirius.

Remus was still looking down at his book, though the sudden tenseness of his body showed that he had clearly stopped reading.

A confused look crossed Sirius' face. "Oops?"

James looked furious; his hazel eyes darkened, and a thunderous look on his face showed that he was evidently getting ready to launch into a furious tirade. But Remus spoke first.

"I suppose you know now." He put his book down, carefully marking the page, and looked at Lily.

She shrugged. "I already guessed." She said. At this, James turned round to look at her, his face now betraying his surprise.

"How?"

"Disappearing once a month, always around the full moon, those stories you always told us about where you went, the way you looked so ill before and after, the way the Boggart changed into a moon in third year when it saw you, the way you hate silver." Lily shrugged again. "It was obvious when I put it all together."

Remus was pale, but still sounded calm. "Have you told anybody?"

Lily shook her head. "No. And I don't intend to either. Although I don't see what their problem is."

"They look at me and see a monster." Remus' tone was dejected, to say the least.

"But I don't." Lily got up and climbed over James to sit down beside Remus, and put a hand on his shoulder. "_I_ look at you and I see nothing but a friend. A friend who's kind, clever, caring, funny, and a friend who definitely ranks among one of my best. I see someone who was one of those there for me when I needed them. _Look_ at me, Remus." Unwillingly, Remus raised his eyes to hers. "I don't care about what you turn into once a month. I care about _you_."

There was a very pregnant pause.

"Thanks," Remus said, in a low voice. It wasn't much of a statement, but Lily knew he meant it.

**-&-&-&-**

"I'm telling you, that just proved it, girls are statistically better at Charms than boys!" Lily argued, as she walked out of the classroom.

"No it does not! Maybe we were just having a bad lesson!" James shot back. They had been having this discussion all the way through Charms. The class had been set a particularly complex form of Emotion Charm to practice, and strangely enough, many girls had found it easier than boys did, giving rise to the aforementioned argument.

"Seriously, if you look it up, you'll see that 72 of girls gained an E or above for OWL and NEWT level Charms, compared to only 23 of –"

"Oh don't throw statistics at me. They're just a bunch of numbers, and I dropped Arithmancy after fifth year. Besides, you don't even know what I got."

"What _did_ you get, then?"

"An E."

"I'm impressed," Lily said dryly. "But the fact remains that girls are just better at Charms, and especially types of Emotion Charms, because they're more in touch with their own emotions."

"That's a load of crap. I'm _totally_ in touch with my emotions."

"So, do you discuss the way you feel about problems and things with your friends? Because when _we_ do that, you call us girly."

"I'm not girly!" By this time, Remus, Sirius and Peter had given up trying to change the conversation and had walked on ahead.

"Well then there you are. You _aren't_ in touch."

"Yes I am! I'll have you know that I discuss a _lot_ of deep things with Remus and Sirius and Peter!"

"Oh yeah, I've heard some of the 'deep things' you discuss." Lily snorted. 'Let me see, there's 'Peter! I saw you changing your sheets in the middle of the night. You had a . . . _wet dream!_'" Lily mimicked Sirius' tone of voice perfectly. "And how about 'So what exactly goes on in this 'working relationship'?"

All at once, she realised her mistake.

_Oh hell. Oh bloody hell. What have I done?_

One glance at James told her that it hadn't passed him by either. He was frowning, his eyes narrowed at her.

"Where did you hear that? We wouldn't have said anything like that in front of you."

Lily tried to laugh it off. "I suppose I must have been walking behind you and overheard."

James shook his head and looked even more suspiciously at her. "No, anything like that would have stayed up in the . . . dorms."

His eyes widened. Lily could see him putting two and two together, and to her horror, they were making four.

"Sirius said those things a while ago . . . and the only people were us . . . and Keegan. And Keegan." His voice was almost a whisper. "Lily, _please_ tell me that you didn't turn into Keegan."

Lily couldn't trust herself to speak. She looked away. James interpreted her silence – correctly. Abruptly, he too turned away.

"I don't believe it. I _won't _believe it." He turned back, and expression in his eyes that she had never seen before; hurt, anger, disbelief, and something else she couldn't identify.

"You – you took -"

"Polyjuice," Lily said numbly.

James simply looked at her. Lily found her voice again.

"James you have to understand, I didn't do it for myself! I did it for -" She stopped short.

She couldn't betray Emma, even if she had wanted to.

"Who, Lily?" James spat. "Who'd you do it for?" He took a step closer as she backed up, and Lily realized again, as if for the first time, how tall and imposing he was. His eyes had gone incredibly dark, and he was glaring down at her. 'Come on, tell me!' he shouted, and his voice echoed down the corridor; but no one would hear – they were all at dinner. Lily flinched as he took another step forward, and she found herself up against the wall. "Was this for _Emma_, or _Sapphire_? Or was it just some bloody dare that you planned out? Or better yet, was it just you wanting to do a check on our room? What the _fuck_ made you want to betray our friendship like this?" His eyes showed plainly how furious he was, and they were trained on Lily with all the intensity of a spotlight.

"I . . . can't tell." Lily struggled with herself to just admit the truth, but she couldn't. She couldn't expose Emma.

'Oh right, so that's all you have to say? You _spy_ on us, listen to all the things that we say to each other _in confidence_, then _use_ our friendship when we try to help you, and you _can't tell_? For God's sake, this isn't a game! Using people, and eavesdropping aren't bloody games!" James was so near now that she felt enclosed on all sides by his rage. Lily's head was beginning to swim. She breathed unevenly, sensing how close he was to her, how near his face was to hers. Even though their robes weren't touching, weren't even brushing each other, she felt as though she was caught up in a straitjacket by him, and every time she breathed in, all she could take in was his intoxicating cologne. The cold stone wall gave her no escape, either from him, or from her own flushed cheeks.

"Let me just understand this. You've spent all these years telling my friends and I that we're bullies and prats, and _players_ and that we use people? Talk about hypocritical."

"James, please." Lily could feel a lump in her throat as his gaze bored straight through her.

"Don't _James, please_ me! You're the one who fucked up!"

Lily wanted to sink into the floor and die. James looked dangerously angry. His eyes, dark pools of emotion, were holding her gaze, and a pure, unadulterated fury was emanating from them, striking her to the very core.

"James, I've told myself this a hundred times! Please, you couldn't make me feel any worse! I'm so sorry . . ."

"You think _sorry_ is going to change anything? You think it's going to erase my mind? Get out your wand and o_bliviate_ me if you think that." His eyes were blazing with suppressed emotion. When he spoke again, however, his voice was back to a normal volume, but cold, as cold as ice. It was almost worse than when he was yelling. "The single reason that I'm not going to tell Remus or Sirius is that I've never seen Remus so happy as he is when he's with Emma, and I don't want to ruin that."

_It's already ruined_.

"But I would rather have a hundred Remuses and Siriuses than one of you. I can't believe I spent four years following you!" He looked her up and down in an expression that was close to loathing.

"Maybe you're not the girl I thought you were."

Tears finally spilled over Lily's paled cheeks as James walked away. "Wait," she cried, but it was too late, he had turned the corner.

Moments later, she heard a crack as he punched or kicked a wall, and a loud "Fuck!"

She leant back against the wall, trying to push back the ball of misery that was threatening to erupt. A slight movement made her look round, and she saw Emma standing at the other end of the corridor, shock written plainly all over her face.

It was too much. Sucking in a soft sob, she raced away, down the passages towards toe Heads' room, where she flung herself onto a sofa and buried her face in a pillow to muffle all sound.

Bitterly, she cried.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter took so long to get up – personal issues meant I wasn't on the computer long enough to edit and proof it before I could post it. I just want to say that I support The Great Break, and although I'm going to continue posting here because I only just started reposting, I'm fairly sure that most of you have heard of Sarinileni's horrible treatment by this site. The Great Break is against the unfair no-questions-asked-removal-of-story policy, and they have my full support – what this site does is completely unjust and if they want to have such a big site, they should be able to run it in a way that is appropriate and fair – the way they handle their administration right now is turning away a lot of good authors. I've had first-hand experience of it, and what makes it worse is that they add insult to injury by being incapable of even responding to polite emails questioning removal. I suggest checking out Sarinileni's profile or Solarism's, if you want more information. Fight the unfair policies.

Now that all the unpleasantness has been mentioned, feel like leaving a review?


	16. Solitude

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Read on!**

Chapter 16: Solitude

When Lily opened her eyes again, it appeared to be morning. The room was lit by a weak daylight that made the ever-burning fire look even more enticing. For a moment, she wondered why she was feeling so miserable, and then she remembered the events of last night. Awkwardly, she pulled herself off the couch and went into her room, where she surveyed the reflection in her mirror.

She looked a mess. Hair all over the place, and red eyes from crying so much. Going into the adjacent bathroom that the Head Boy and Girl shared (although she doubted that James had discovered it), she did her best to clean herself up, and hoped that light make-up would cover the evidence of a rough night.

As Lily walked out of the rooms and down the corridor, she wondered idly why she had cried so much over her fight with James, when she had not so much as shed a tear over her argument with Emma.. _Maybe it's just that I was hit hard by going through another fight. Or maybe it's just that I feel the loss of the Marauders now because I _know_ them. _She sighed as she pushed open the door to the Great Hall. _I _am_ going to miss Sirius splashing water at me to wake me up at breakfast, though, _she thought sadly. _And Remus helping me with homework. And James . . . James being James._ She stepped into the Great Hall, which was just beginning to empty, and made her way quietly over to the Gryffindor table, hoping to sit down unnoticed. Unfortunately, Sirius happened to look up at that exact moment.

"Lily! Over here!" he called jovially. Lily stopped short in her tracks. His voice had alerted the last three people that she wanted to meet to her presence. Emma, who had previously been studying a textbook, looked up; but then her head snapped back down again. Sapphire, sitting next to her, was eyeing her in concern – the make-up had obviously not done its job – and was already half out of her seat. James had stolen a glance at her, but when she looked at him, she could see him glowering at his cereal.

Making a split-second decision, she turned on her heel and walked as coolly as she could back out of the hall. Rounding a corner, she stood still and breathed in deeply.

Maybe she would eat later.

**-&-**

Breakfast turned out to be a preview of the rest of the day. Lily seriously considered skipping all her classes that day and hiding out in the Heads' Rooms, but in the end her more studious nature won out, and she found herself down in the dungeons as usual. Potions was normally hell anyway, because of Professor Stingrey, who favoured his own House pupils almost to a fault, but if it wasn't for Tom Jacobs, who invited her to work in a three with him and Keegan, she would probably have walked straight out of the room, unable to control herself. Herbology was not good either – this was the one class that she took with Emma alone, and unlike the past lessons, where she was used to ignoring Emma, she could sense her now looking at her with a hint of guilt – no, pity, Lily corrected herself sternly, that was the only thing she could feel for her now, now that the Marauders were gone.

She arrived in Charms early and parked her bag on the desk next to her, hoping that this would indicate that no one was to sit there. Unfortunately, although Emma and James gave her a wide berth, she looked up a few minutes before the bell to see Tom's face looming over her.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked cheerily.

"But what about -" Lily began, looking around. Then she saw Keegan sitting on a side with a pretty Ravenclaw brunette, Claire Jaimeson, talking animatedly. She changed mid-sentence. "Yeah, ok, I suppose." Nice as the gesture was, she was beginning to wonder why he _had_ to be in all her classes that day.

Finally, Lily was able to breathe a sigh of relief and escape to her Head room after Defence Against the Dark Arts. She sank into a chair, and then pulled herself up, remembering that the Marauders were unlikely to swing by and drag her off to the kitchens today. Slowly, she sneaked downstairs and entered the kitchens, requesting an apple pie.

"Hi Lils."

She started and turned round to see Sirius sitting at a table behind, chewing on a chicken sandwich. He looked mildly surprised to see her there alone.

"Hey."

"What're you doing here?"

She accepted her food from a house-elf, and sat down opposite. "Same as you."

"What, avoiding Quidditch practice in the rain with James by saying I had detention, and then avoiding homework in the common room with Remus by saying I had a sore throat?"

Lily smiled. "Ok, maybe not. I'm just hungry." They chewed for a few moments in silence.

"Lily, can I ask you something?"

"You just did," she replied, not taking her eyes off her plate.

"Yeah, well, something else. What happened between you and James?"

Lily looked up sharply. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing, but he's been in a really weird mood all day, either depressed or moody, and he snapped at us every time we tried to ask him what was wrong. I just figured that since you aren't hanging around with us – and what with the fact that both of you looked like you wanted to murder me this morning – there was something going on."

"You figured right," Lily said, as lightly as she could manage. She took another bite of pie and swallowed before speaking. "But I can't say anything."

Sirius studied her face for a moment. "Well, don't forget that Remus and Peter and me aren't James," he said quietly. He got up. "I'd better go back before Remus catches on to the fact that I'm not really in the Hospital Wing," he said, grinning at her. "See you around."

Despite herself, Lily grinned back, and he left the kitchens. Washing down her pie with a glass of water, Lily left as well, feeling only slightly more comforted.

**-&-&-&-**

By the end of the next day, Lily was ready to admit defeat. She had not felt so shunned for a long time. Although Remus and Sirius gave her a smile whenever they saw her, she could not help but feel rather low now that she had the enmity of four people in her class alone. Then there were the Marauder groupies, namely, girls who followed the four boys around like hounds with their tongues hanging out. Although they had maintained a fairly regular neutrality to her for most of the year so far, and then become sickeningly sweet during her brief respite with the Marauders, they now acted like she was a witch – a witch in a world full of suspicious Muggles. Whispers followed her like dogs as the news that she was not with the Marauders spread like wildfire, until Lily was heartily sick of it. _Let them talk_, she thought sourly, and she walled herself up in her room, where she tried to work and ignore the pangs of loneliness coming from the bundle of misery that seemed to have gained a permanent home lodged in her chest.

She was carrying a pile of books, with the top one open so that she could read as she walked, back to the Heads' rooms from the library. She was so engrossed in trying to understand the complex Transfiguration that James helped – had _been_ helping her with, that she walked straight into someone. Looking up, startled, she saw that she had bumped into – literally – James. Mumbling her apologies, she bent down to pick up the books lying on the floor, expecting him to walk on. Instead, his trainers stood in front of her for several seconds before he too bent down and began to gather things into a neat pile. Risking an involuntary glance at his face, Lily saw his expression, twisted between pretended indifference and an emotion that she did not want to identify.

"Thanks," she said as she stood, dusting her skirt down self-consciously. She rebalanced her books in her arms, waiting for him to go, but for one moment, she thought he was going to say something to her – his mouth opened and he took a breath, as if to speak; but then it snapped shut again, and he dodged past her and walked off without a word.

Shrugging to herself, Lily opened her book and began to read and walk again. It was best to distract herself from the stinging sensation behind her eyes and the lump in her throat.

Reaching the masks, she rested her chin on the books to keep them from falling as she stretched for the nose.

"Lily!"

She was so unused to hearing people call for her that it took a moment for the call to register. When it did, she turned round. Sapphire was standing at the end of the corridor.

"Hey Saffy," she said quietly. Sapphire ran up and grabbed her wrist.

"Lily, you have to come!"

"Huh?" Lily looked perplexed.

"Please Lils, just come on." Sapphire looked strangely excited.

"But my books -"

"Can wait. Who cares about your books? Lily, please, you _need_ to come. This is really important."

Lily allowed herself to be dragged off by Sapphire, who led her down corridors, looking feverishly excited, until they reached the Fat Lady.

"Chizpurfle," she said quickly, and the Fat Lady swung obligingly open to admit them. Sapphire pulled Lily over to the girls' stairs, when –

Sirius bounded up in front of them. "Boo!" he said cheerfully. "And here's a rare sight: our Lily-of-the-Valley actually in the common room for once, with Sapphire-of-the-Valley." He considered for a moment. "No, that doesn't sound right. Sapphire-in-the-Mud suits you more."

It was a mark of how distracted Sapphire was that she actually responded to him, instead of ignoring him as per usual.

"GET LOST, Sirius! Go to Manchester, go to Italy, go to _Pakistan_ for all I care, just go away from me!" She shoved him roughly aside and continued upstairs, Lily in tow.

Sapphire pushed the door open impatiently and pulled Lily inside. She came in, wondering what Sapphire wanted her to do in an empty dorm, and then stopped dead in the middle of the room. Emma had stood up awkwardly, her hands clasped nervously in front of her.

Lily looked at Sapphire. "Is this why you wanted me to come?" Sapphire opened her mouth, but Lily didn't wait for an answer. "Well then, I'm going." She turned around and moved towards the door again.

"Lily, I'm – I'm sorry." Emma's soft voice sounded through the silent room. Lily stopped in her tracks, but did not turn back.

"What for?" she asked in a harsh voice.

There was a brief pause. Lily was quite sure the other two could hear her breathing; to her, it sounded unnaturally loud.

"For – for everything," Emma said at last. "I'm sorry I talked you into the whole Potion thing, and I'm sorry I made you come between Remus and me. I'm even more sorry that I made Sapphire choose between us, and I'm sorry that I let James get angry with you."

She stopped. Lily dropped her head, closed her eyes and sighed. Slowly, she pivoted round, and faced Emma again. Sapphire was standing to a side, her hands over her mouth.

Taking a deep breath, Emma looked Lily directly in the eye. "Most of all, I'm sorry that I fought with my best friend and wouldn't talk to her for two weeks over _this_."

Lily did not know what to say. She put her hands over her face, and for a few minutes, grappled with herself against the sob of relief that threatened to overcome her. Finally she was able to lower them and look at Emma.

"Emma." The word sounded strange in her mouth, after all this time that she had not used it. "I'm – I." She stopped and swallowed. "I'm sorry too." She forced herself to keep going. "I'm sorry I didn't say something when I should have."

Emma looked at her hopefully. "Friends?"

"Always."

Emma smiled shakily, and held out her hand. Ignoring it, Lily launched herself at her and they hugged tightly.

Sapphire burst into tears.

Lily and Emma broke apart. Lily looked at her in amazement. "There's nothing to cry about _now_, Saffy," she told her, bewildered. (**A/N: Sound familiar? Like mother, like son!**)

"You two are so _stupid_!" Sapphire half-shouted, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Oh come here," Emma said, and the three of them locked each other into a tight hug.

**-&-**

Three hours later, Emma, Lily and Sapphire were still lying on their beds, catching up in the way that only girls can do. Lily had filled the other two in on her brief interlude with the Marauders, and Emma had admitted that although she had been feeling guilty for several days, it had taken the scene between Lily and James that she had witnessed to act as a catalyst and force her to face her. Having filled Sapphire in on the brief details of that night, they left the topic behind, as Lily did not want to dwell on it. She could not manage to hide, nor the others fail to notice, her trembling lip, and the way she blinked several times to keep the tears at bay.

Later that evening, Lily was studying in the Library (it now seemed like heaven to work with friends). "Done!" she announced jubilantly, pushing her Charms essay to a side.

"Yippee," Sapphire said sourly. "I still have six inches to do on this."

"Well, I might as well start Transfiguration, seeing as I'm in study mode." She bent down to search through her bag, and emerged a few moments later, looking flustered.

"Have either of you got my Transfiguration textbook?"

The other two shook their heads.

"Damn," Lily moaned. "It must be in the dorm. I'll have to go get it."

"Just find one in here," Emma said lazily, chewing her quill. "They're all the same."

"Yeah, but I took extra notes to help me, 'cause I'm doing so badly, and they're in my textbook. I _need_ the help here!"

"So go get it," Sapphire mumbled, flipping back and forth in her Charms textbook.

"Be right back," Lily said. She slid off her seat and made her way up to Gryffindor Tower. Climbing through the portrait hole, she was about to mount the stairs, when she heard voices.

"Yeah, the alarm is the only thing stopping you from going up to the girls' dorms, isn't it? I mean, there's nothing to catch you once you're in…"

Lily turned, ready to give whatever boy it was a piece of her mind. Her eyes lighted on none other than James and Sirius, talking intently, their heads together. As if feeling her look, James' head swivelled, and his cold glance grazed her face. The next moment, he was looking back at Sirius. There could be no doubt that he had been the one talking.

Feeling very small, Lily continued up the stairs. She opened the door to her dorm, walked in, and began to search through the piles off books in her trunk. Having found the one she needed, Lily stood up and cast a cursory glance over her area before turning to go.

She never made it to the door.

Two steps away, she suddenly registered what it was that she had seen. She spun round again, and froze.

There, lying on top of her pillow, was a pink lily.

It looked innocent enough, but Lily could not help eyeing it suspiciously as she approached her bed again. Was this some kind of a prank? She could think of no one in the female population of Gryffindor who was around the level of the Marauders.

Throwing caution to the winds, she picked it up carefully between finger and thumb.

So far so good. It hadn't exploded in her face.

She turned it, admiring the delicate beauty held in the fragile pink petals. She had no way of telling how long it had been here, but it looked freshly picked. A frown creased her brow again. Who was it from?

She turned to sit down on the bed once again, and it was then that her eyes caught sight of the snow-white card lying camouflaged on the pillow. Laying the flower aside, she picked it up and opened it. Inside was a short message, written in block capitals.

_DO YOU LIKE THE LILY? IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? JUST LIKE YOU._

Lily stared at it. Who on earth would write this? She studied the handwriting on the card. The letters were so uniform that it would be impossible to compare with anybody's normal handwriting, yet there was an undeniably masculine quality about it. And was that . . . She brought the card to her nose and sniffed. There was a very faint scent of cologne still hanging about the card. Boys. What boy would break into the dorm just to leave a card and flower for her?

It was as though a light switch had suddenly been flipped on in her brain. Words replayed themselves in Lily's head.

_"…the alarm is the only thing stopping you from going up to the girls' dorms, isn't it?…there's nothing to catch you once you're in…"_

The words ran over and over like a broken record.

_"…the alarm is the only thing stopping you from going up to the girls' dorms, isn't it?…there's nothing to catch you once you're in…"_

_"…nothing to catch you once you're in…"_

_Could it really have been James?_ Lily thought. _But why is he making up when _I'm_ the one who did something wrong? _It was a sweet gesture, but would he really do it in this secretive way? It certainly _sounded_ like it was him. But then again, not quite…he was very upfront most of the time; why hide about this?

Realising suddenly that she had been away far too long to have just got a textbook, Lily shoved the card under her pillow, away from Serena's prying eyes, hastily filled a glass with water for the flower, grabbed her book, and ran, debating how to put it to Emma and Sapphire.

_Maybe I'll thank James tomorrow_, she thought.

**-&-**

_She was walking down the Charms corridor. Her footsteps echoed through the apparently empty passage, as torchlight flickered dimly on the walls. Eventually, she saw an open door and peered round it, wondering who would be there. Two shadowy figures moved on the opposite wall, and the sound of male laughter rang. Finally gathering the courage to look in, with her wand at the ready, she saw . . . Sirius and Remus, watching a rat on the floor as it chased its tail in a circle. "Hey guys," she tried to say, in relief. The words did not seem to reach them, however, but dissolve into the air instead. She tried again, only to be met with the same result, and for some reason, she could not manage to move past the doorway, and neither did Sirius or Remus notice her. Worried about what was going on, she gave up and walked on._

_Rounding a corner, she came across Sapphire and Emma talking together, seated on a bench that she could not remember as being in the middle of the corridor._

_" . . . I don't understand why he does it to me especially," Sapphire was saying. "It's not like I ever did anything to him."_

_"Who, Sirius?" Lily tried to say, but once again, the words seemed to disappear somewhere between her mouth and their ears. Angry now, she reached forward to tap Emma on the shoulder, but her hand went straight through her, and she found herself pulling her arm out of what seemed to be nothing but a shapeless grey mist. Frustrated and panicky, she had no choice but to continue forwards._

_Suddenly Professor McGonagall loomed out of nowhere, looking furious. "Miss Evans! I am thoroughly displeased with you! I thought that the Head Girl would at least keep up an acceptable grade on NEWT Transfiguration! A 'D' is not acceptable! This merits punishment!"_

_"But I -" Lily began to protest, but she had no time. Her feet began to carry her forwards, faster and faster, until she gained so much momentum that she was sure she would crash if she stopped. Against her will, she ran down a twisting corridor that did not seem to have any end. On and on she ran, gasping for breath, not knowing where she was going._

_Finally she found herself slowing down, and ran through a doorway that seemed (like many other things) to have come from nowhere._

_She had entered a stone classroom, set out as if in the middle of a lesson, with books and parchment strewn all over the desks. Several chairs were knocked over, and desks were out of place, as if the people in it had been desperate in their hurry to get out. Lily backed away nervously, wondering what horror had terrified them, whether it was coming for her as well, and where it would come from if it did. She swiveled round and breathed in sharply – in front of the teacher's desk was a . . . vortex? Glowing green, it looked eerie, but suddenly Lily let out a gasp of horror and rushed over. "James!" she cried frantically. _

_"Help, Lily!" he groaned, his eyes shut as he fought to stay up, his arms flailing wildly to keep him up in what appeared to be green light. _

_"Grab my hand!" Lily yelled. She threw herself full length on the floor and stretched a hand in to reach him – but it wasn't quite enough. "Come on!" she grunted furiously, and she stretched even further, praying she would make it._

_For one long moment, she watched, her face contorted with effort, as James opened his eyes briefly and the pure terror shone through._

_Just a bit further._

_The vortex was pulling at her now too; her other arm was curled tightly around the leg of the teacher's desk. "Damn it!" she growled, and she moved herself even further to reach down, down into the emerald green depths. Finally, she felt the slightest brush of skin, and a moment later, James' fingers clasped round her own. A flash of green light blinded her. _

_White fog obscured all her senses, seeming to simply materialize out of thin air. Out of the mist came a man's voice, shouting, panicking – it was _James'_ voice._

_"Lily, take Harry and go! It's Him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off -"_

_What was going on? Who was Harry? And why did she seem to be in a house with James? Lily had no time to ponder these questions because all at once, the fog cleared abruptly into a small room, decorated and furnished as a child's nursery, complete with a rocking chair, blankets, a cot, and a Quidditch motif on the walls. Lily found herself standing in a corner, her gaze transfixed on a woman with long red hair backing against the wall. _

_All at once, Lily realized with a sudden jolt that the woman was _her_. An older version, certainly, but still the same person. She was attempting to shield a small bundle of . . . blankets? with her body, but was still trying to stand tall. Lily could not see the shadow in the doorway – she could not move her head – but the terror was clear on her older self. _

_The shadow advanced, and her older self clutched the blankets tighter still, tears running down her cheeks._

_"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"_

_"Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now . . ."_

_"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -"_

_With another sickening jolt, Lily realized that the bundle of blankets was actually a baby, wrapped tightly. Her older self was flat against the wall, the anguish clear on her face as she begged heartrendingly for mercy. The shadow was laughing now at the rivers of tears on her cheeks as she hugged the child to her chest unyieldingly, laughing a cruel, high-pitched laugh as it came forward, raising its wand, and in a moment of utmost horror and shock, Lily realized that he was going to murder them. "No!" she tried to cry, though she knew it would be no use; they could not hear her. She tried to move forward, desperately working against the invisible bonds that held her in place, tried to stop it, but there was another flash of green light, and cruel laughter –_

**-&-**

Lily sat up, drenched in cold sweat. It took her a moment to recollect where she was. She looked around at the familiar dormitory, and let the calm silence, broken only by the soft, even breathing of four other girls, invade her ears, soothing her body. Wrapping her arms around her body, she hugged herself tightly, rocking back and forth on her bed. It had been so _vivid_. When she touched her skin, it felt ice-cold. The dream had completely unnerved her. But one resolve had come out of it. She knew now what she had to do.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N: Chapter 16 reposted…feel like leaving a review?**


	17. Things That Go Bump In The Night

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. Apologies for the lateness of the chapter – I'm working on something else which now needs only to be fully typed up (its already half-done) before it can go up! The next chapter of this will be sooner, I swear!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 17: Things That Go Bump In The Night

Cautiously, Lily crawled to the edge of her bed and looked around. Four sleeping bodies lay on their respective beds. The feeble light of the crescent moon filtered in through the window, lighting the room faintly. Slowly, Lily slid off her bed and stood up noiselessly. She moved carefully towards the door, praying that she would not tread on any creaky boards. Her hand on the door handle, she suddenly froze as there was an incoherent mumble, and turning round, she saw Callie roll over. She held her breath until she was sure she could hear four sets of even breathing again, and then gently eased the door open and slipped past it.

She trod lightly as she walked down the carpeted corridor in her bare feet, keeping to the shadows. Never mind the fact that she was wearing nothing but a simple vest top that had fitted her when she had been more flat-chested in second-year, but was now a little too tight and short, and a pair of crumpled pyjama bottoms, never mind the fact that she had no specific idea of what she was going to do or say, never mind the fact that there would be serious repercussions if she was caught going to the boys' dorms in the middle of the night, especially with the Head Girl thing; she had a purpose and she was going to see it through. She breathed a sigh of relief as she reached the common room. "Thank God," she murmured. Stealing across the deserted room, which was lit only by the dying embers of the fire and pale glimmers of moonlight, she entered the staircase to the boys' dorms and began to climb. Eventually, after moving at an agonisingly slow pace, she gained the top, and sneaked furtively along the corridor to the end. Checking down the corridor once more, she raised her hand and knocked quietly on the wooden door, praying that someone inside would hear it.

She did not have long to wait. A few minutes later, the door edged open, and James' face appeared, looking tired, but wary. "Who is -" he began, but then he saw Lily. "Oh. It's you."

Without further ado, he made to close the door again, but Lily took a hasty step forward and jammed her foot into the gap between door and frame.

"James, I need to talk to you," she hissed.

James looked at her coldly. "Your foot's in the way." He tried to push the door further, but Lily recklessly moved herself forward, so that he could not do anything else.

"Please!" she said, slightly louder.

"Evans, you're going to wake the whole House if you don't shut up and get going."

Lily blinked at the cold way in which he pronounced her last name, but could not let herself become fazed. "I don't care," she said firmly.

Seeing that she was serious in her intentions, James had no choice but to step outside and close the door softly behind him. He crossed his arms and focused on a point somewhere behind Lily, the soft dying torchlight throwing his face into sharp relief.

Even thought Lily was determined to do something about the situation, she could not help the silent exclamation that rose up as she realised that he was only wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms.

_Shit_.

_Who knew James was hiding a body like _this

Although not usually in the habit of swearing, she felt justified in her choice of words, as during the few seconds of intense silence, she took in the sight before her. Her mind had gone totally blank. Although not overly muscled like a wrestler, he had a lean, toned physique, and Lily could see the muscles in his chest flexing as he breathed.

_Dear God._

_No wonder girls throw themselves at his feet. They'd be even worse if they knew about this._

_What was I going to say?_

Blinking, she attempted to remember what she had planned to do.

_Oh well, at least I'm not the only one wearing next to nothing._

She tried once again to shake herself out of her reverie, and focused instead on James' face. It was completely impassive, but there was a flicker of movement about the mouth that suggested that he was making an effort to keep it that way. He leaned against the wall, his arms still crossed, in a position that was so familiar to Lily and so reminiscent of happier times, that she felt a rush of emotion.

"James, I know you're – you're angry, probably _furious_ with me, and I can see why. But -"

"I know what happened," James interrupted. His face was a cold mask. "Emma told me yesterday."

"So you know about -"

"I know it all."

"Then there's only one thing I can say." Lily fought to control her voice. "James, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do it in the first place, but then Emma begged me, and I felt so awful afterwards because I didn't follow my own instincts when I knew what was right, I just – I'm sorry." She tried desperately to get behind his closed expression. "I can't just sit here and ignore the – the destruction of a friendship."

James reached for the doorknob, and Lily wondered in a corner of her mind why the few metres between them felt like a few miles. "Is that all you have to say?"

"No. You have to believe me." It was only when Lily put her hand to her face and found her cheeks wet that she realised she was crying. "Please," she repeated softly. "I'm so sorry."

There was a silence. Lily's eyes were rapidly becoming blurry with tears that she tried to blink back. Instead, she watched James' face. He looked at her, and then up at the ceiling, as if in thought.

"I thought there was something wrong with Keegan that day . . ." he said at last, quietly. "It was like he was out of it. I didn't realise _how_ out at the time. And that whole story he – _you_ - fed me about falling over." He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them to look at the girl in front of him. "Tell me something, Lily. If you hadn't let it slip so that I found out, would you have told me about it?"

Lily studied the floor for a moment, and then looked up. "I think eventually, yes," she said honestly. "Not straight away, but I wouldn't have been able to keep it quiet forever. It was driving me mad as it was." She kept her chin up as James' hazel eyes scrutinised her seriously.

"At least you're telling the truth now," he said. "Okay."

"Really?" Lily couldn't believe her ears. She had begun to think that this was a lost cause.

"I won't forget . . . but I'll forgive you." He half-smiled at her.

Completely forgetting herself, Lily crossed the distance between them, and in a wave of emotion, threw her arms around him and hugged him, burying her face in his chest. She tried to take an unsteady breath, but found instead that she was sobbing unevenly, so relieved that something she have given up for lost was not. There was a moment's pause, and then she felt his muscular arms move hesitantly around her waist and wrap around her in return. His chest shifted beneath her as he let out a long breath that ruffled her hair as he bent his head over hers.

They must have stood like that for almost five minutes, a pair of unmoving statues with their arms tightly around each other, until Lily's quiet sobs began to subside. Eventually, James let go of Lily and took a step back. "We should go back," he said. "If you're caught . . ." He didn't need to finish the sentence. The implication of what could happen hung heavily in the air.

"Yeah," Lily said. She felt as if a huge weight had been removed from her shoulders. "Friends?"

"Friends."

Lily smiled at him. "Night, James." She turned to go.

"Night, Lily," came the quiet reply. She crept down the stairs again, hearing the slight open and close of a door behind her. Reaching her own dormitory, she climbed carefully into bed, thankful to see that all her roommates were still in deep slumber, and drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she had had in days.

**-&-&-&-**

Sapphire was in a bad mood.

It could have been because she had stayed up late the night before, finishing a complicated chart for Astronomy, or it could have been because her bag broke while she was heading for her first lesson the next day, splattering indelible ink all over said Astronomy chart. It could have been because Professor Stingrey took twenty points off her by finding fault with her Puffapod leaves ('Shredded, not sliced, Miss Heathleigh! Are you such an imbecile that you do not understand the distinction?') or because of the grade she was given for her Charms essay (a 'P' with the comment 'Not up to your usual standards, Miss Heathleigh.') Sirius' jeers, when she tripped over his feet in a most undignified manner in the Great Hall at lunch, sending her books flying and ripping a big hole in her robes from the table, did not help. "Walk much, Heathleigh?" he questioned innocently.

All in all, it had been a very bad day.

Consequently, by the time dinner was over, both Emma and Lily were guiltily glad when Sapphire told them she was going to have an early night and stalked off, muttering dark things under her breath about evil people in the world (directed mainly at Sirius and Professor Stingrey). It was clear that Emma wanted to talk to Remus, so Lily walked off and found a quiet table in the library as usual, where she managed to flounder her way through a mound of essays. At nine o' clock, Madam Pince began to shoo everyone out, extinguishing the lamps as she went. Lily packed up and left.

Suddenly, as she was walking, Lily remembered the lily. _I meant to thank James for that_, she realised. The two of them had not done more than exchange a few words between classes, but it was enough to assure Remus, Sirius and Peter that things were now back to normal (which was why Sirius lost no time in dipping the ends of her hair into an ink bottle, earning himself several hard slaps, and a red handprint on his cheek for a few hours). She determined to do something about it as she entered the common room, and looked around for James. She saw his familiar hair over by the fire, chatting to his friends while lazily lobbing scrap parchment into the flames, and started towards him, but just then, someone called her name.

'Lily!'

Caught unawares, she turned, wondering who would be calling her so eagerly. She did not know who or what she had expected to see, but it certainly wasn't Tom, grinning at her. She tried to control her surprise and smile.

"Hey Tom."

"How're you doing?" Tom seemed slightly . . . over-nice for someone who had not spoken to her much for the past six years.

"Good. Tired, but good."

Tom took a step forward, and Lily unconsciously leaned back a little. "Did you like the flower?" he asked, lowering his voice conspiratorially.

For a moment, Lily didn't realise what he was talking about. "Huh?"

"The flower, you know, the lily. I _did_ leave it on _your _pillow, didn't I?"

Slowly, his words registered in her brain.

James had not left the flower.

_He_ had.

She stared at him in shock.

"It was _you_?"

Tom grinned. "Yeah. It took a bit of doing – I had to ask James about the security on the girls' dorms, and he said he would double-check with Sirius as well – I mean, those two should know, from all the rumours that are around. And then I had to work out which bed was yours . . . I _did _put it on yours, right?"

"Y-Yeah," Lily managed to get out. Her head was whirling in a maelstrom of confused thoughts, and she was finding it twice as hard to focus on Tom's words.

"So um, anyway, I just wanted to say that everything on that card was true. I – I do think you're pretty." Tom stumbled over his words. "You've grown up a lot over the last few years. And you've got a really nice personality," he added hurriedly. "And I know I'm really bad at compliments and pick-up lines and chatting you up in general, b-but my point is, do you want to, you know, meet up some time? Like for a walk or something?"

It took a few minutes for all of this to absorb into Lily. She was fully aware that she must have been standing there gaping like a fish, but she was powerless to do anything about it. Eventually, she found her voice.

"Um, thanks. Can I think about it and get back to you?"

'Sure,' Tom said, looking slightly disappointed. "So, see you around."

"See you." Lily smiled weakly and walked across the common room. She had reached the foot of her stairs, when she made a split second decision. Swivelling around, she walked straight back up to Tom.

"Tom, I would love to meet up with you."

Tom looked both surprised and delighted. "Great! Are you free this weekend?"

"Yeah. Sunday afternoon?"

"See you then!"

She smiled at him and retraced her footsteps. As she passed the Marauders, and all at once, she felt the rush of adrenaline evaporate. Her eyes met James' and her smile faded as his face, originally lit up with laughter, morphed into a look of confusion at her expression. Turning her head, she walked quickly on, determined to wake up Sapphire.

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

A/N:


	18. Week From Hell

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**WARNING: This chapter contains some explicit language – you have been cautioned!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 18: Week From Hell

The next week was completely hellish for the entire seventh year.

Professor Flitwick, who was usually known for being reasonably easygoing, came up with the 'bright' idea of having a mock NEWT exam, with both practical and theory, so that the students would be able to see how they were doing. Most unfortunately, many other teachers soon caught onto the idea, and soon, all the Gryffindor seventh-years could be seen studying feverishly in the common room that weekend for exams in Charms, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology (in Lily and Emma's case), Astronomy (in Sapphire's case), and Potions. James was examining his Muggle Studies textbook, looking very much as though he would like nothing better than to blow it up explosively, while Remus reread his Ancient Runes notes over and over again, and Sirius recited lists of facts about Clabberts for Care of Magical Creatures as Peter tried desperately to find patterns in sticks thrown haphazardly over the floor in preparation for Divination. Lily too was tempted to go and jump in the lake when she looked through her Transfiguration notes, and complex models stared her right back in the face.

"Argh!" she groaned. "This will never work!"

"Shut up," Sirius said, breaking off in the middle of his list. "Clabberts have a red pustule that -" Beside him, Emma yawned widely, making no attempt to hide it.

"I give up," she said sleepily to the group at large. "If I do terribly tomorrow, I don't care. I'm going to bed. Anyone coming?"

Sapphire rolled up her star charts, looking relieved. "I was waiting for someone to say that so that I wouldn't look like the only lazy one."

"Hey!" Emma complained, swatting her lightly. "Coming, Lily?"

"Uh, yeah, in a minute." Lily slumped over her book as the other two walked off. "It feels like every time one thing sinks in, another fifty sink out."

"Lily, just go to bed. Live a little. Fail your exam." Sirius gave her a wicked grin.

Lily did not grin back. "Unfortunately for you, Mr Black, I am going to fail Transfiguration, so I _need_ a decent grade in Herbology to make up for it."

"You're not going to fail," James said, lifting his head from his book to look at her. "We went over everything last week. You're fine with it, you just don't trust yourself right now. You'll be great when you do the test."

Sirius smirked, his Clabbert notes apparently forgotten. "What exactly is, uh, _everything_?"

Lily stared at him, her eyebrows raised. "Sirius, my temper is on a very short leash right now," she bit out, coolly. "I also have several sharp objects in my bag. Don't make me use them. On you. I would _hate_ for you to be unable to experience the joys of parenthood."

"God," Sirius mock-whispered, as Lily packed away her books. "Talk about PMSing."

"Actually, that's not for three weeks," Lily said sweetly. She turned around to face Sirius, noting his gob-smacked expression for future amusement. "When this is all over, remind me to explain the exact meaning of PMS. Maybe then you won't use the expression quite so freely. 'Night Remus, James, Peter." She waved at Tom, in another corner, as she passed him by and disappeared up the stairs.

"Way to wind her up, Padfoot," Remus said, as he examined a rune chart.

Sirius turned around, still looking slightly shocked, and Remus glanced up and grinned. "I think he just got more than he bargained for."

**-&-&-&-**

Callie was the first seventh-year to give way under the pressure. She burst into loud, hysterical tears on Tuesday during the Defence Against the Dark Arts theory exam, and had to be led out (sobbing rather over-dramatically, Lily thought).

Sapphire looked close to doing the same thing after a particularly stressful day on Wednesday, as Professor Stingrey breathed down their necks while they tried to make a fire-resistance potion. Seeing her expression as they came out, Lily dragged her out to the Quidditch pitch, and told her to just scream, and let all the tension out. Soon both girls' shouts were echoing through the air, and Lily was able to lead a much more cheerful Sapphire back in for dinner.

It was on Friday that disaster struck.

The first section of the morning was given to quiet study in the common room, where most of the occupants alternately revised and daydreamed of the evening, when exams would be over. After break, however, was their Charms practical exam. They entered the room and sat down, only to have Professor Flitwick announce squeakily that he would be putting them into pairs with someone they had not worked with before. Lily was paired with Flynn Spencer, a rather quiet and shy boy from Ravenclaw (despite Tom's hopeful glances at her). She was able to go through the lesson feeling fairly relaxed, as Charms was one of her better subjects. Sapphire, however, was paired with Sirius, and it was hard to say who looked more unhappy about this. By the time the bell went, Sirius looked royally pissed off, and Sapphire wore a thunderous expression that could have started World War Three. Flitwick released them at last, and people began to head for the door. Tom hung back to wait for Lily, but she, perceiving with alarm Sapphire's narrowed eyes and set mouth, waved him on, mouthing 'I'll catch up later.' She and Emma joined the queue to get outside, just behind the Marauders. Once they were outside, Sirius turned to Sapphire.

"Well, I suppose I have you to thank you to thank for a failing grade in Charms."

"Me? You're the one who couldn't even manage a simple Glamour Charm! It's just a damn illusion over the face, it's not that hard!"

"Like you were any better!"

"Mine disguised _part_ of your face!" Sapphire shot back. "Yours didn't even get that far! And the whole Silencing Charm thing? That's OWL level, for God's sake!"

"Pity that didn't work. It would have shut you up!"

"You think you're so great!"

"So says Little Miss I-Think-I'm-All-That!"

"Hey, hey." James tried to intervene. "Why don't we -"

"SHUT UP!" both Sirius and Sapphire yelled, as one, at him. They resumed glaring at each other.

"You are so dumb."

"Likewise to you."

"Arsehole!"

"Slapper!"

"Prat!"

"Tart!"

"Excuse me?" Sapphire stared at him.

"Look at your skirt!"

Sapphire looked down at herself, then up again. "This is my school skirt, you prick!"

"So why's it so short?"

"Does it matter to you, dickhead?"

"My dick does have a head, actually." Sirius smirked at his own crude humour. "Not that you'll ever find out."

Sapphire looked at him in disgust. "Pervert!"

"Bitch!"

"You are _such_ a scatterbrained idiot! It must be all that chicken you eat."

"That's pathetic! You eat it too!" Sirius said angrily.

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "Do I? I'm a vegetarian, Black. Strange how you've been in the same house and year as me for nearly seven years, and still don't know that. Did your mother never teach you about the importance of observation?"

Sirius went almost white, and his face contorted into an expression of fury. Lily and Emma stared in horror. He looked as though he was about to hit her.

"Screw you!"

"No, screw you!"

Sirius made a rude gesture at her, and Sapphire responded in kind before turning her back on him and stalking off. Sirius glared daggers at her retreating figure, before setting off at a fast walk in the opposite direction. Lily, Emma, Remus and James were left in the middle of the corridor, looking helplessly at each other.

Remus sighed. "You know, one day, we'll probably be sitting around . . ."

". . . and laughing our heads off about this?" Emma finished.

"Exactly."

'But until then . . .' Lily began, looking resigned to her fate.

" . . . see you," they all said in unison, and Remus and James darted down the corridor after Sirius, while Lily and Emma hurried after Sapphire. They caught her up in a passage near the Great Hall, muttering furiously under her breath.

" . . . good-for-nothing, fucked-up bastard who needs a life . . ."

"Hey, isn't that a bit harsh?" Emma admonished, as they fell into step with her. "He's not _that_ bad."

Sapphire looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Did I see him calling _you_ a tart, or a slapper?"

Neither Emma nor Lily could reply.

"Face it," Sapphire said bitterly, throwing the door to the Great Hall open. "He's an arrogant git who deserves to rot in hell, and that's that."

**-&-&-&-**

After lunch, their final exam was their Potions theory paper. Lily smiled at Remus as they made their way out. "That wasn't too bad."

"No," Remus agreed. "Nasty question on Wolfsbane, though – and it's still only in trial stages." He grimaced.

Lily lowered her voice. "Full moon in a few days?"

"Yeah." Remus sighed.

Lily sighed too. "Remus, I've been wondering . . . Emma doesn't know, does she?"

"No."

"Don't you think it would be better to – to tell her?" Lily suggested tentatively. "I mean, it's probably better if she finds out from you rather than from someone else."

"I don't know." Remus frowned slightly. "Sometimes, I almost do – I want to, but I'm worried about how she'll take it. I – I don't want to lose her."

Lily smiled at the genuinely scared tone in Remus' voice. "Remus, if she loves you, then it won't matter to her what you are."

"I'll think about it."

"Good."

A few moments later, Emma herself appeared, and began to talk to Remus, so Lily dropped back next to Sapphire. Fortunately (for Lily and Emma, who had been forced to listen to her bad-tempered ramblings all through lunch, while James and Remus looked to be doing the same thing with Sirius) the exam had been fairly good for her, and they discussed their answers contentedly.

The only awkward moment came when Tom found her in the Gryffindor common room and asked if she wanted to celebrate with him that evening.

"Oh, I'm sorry Tom," Lily exclaimed. "If you'd only asked me ten minutes ago . . . Emma just made me promise I would celebrate with her tonight." She conveniently refrained from mentioning the fact that Emma would be with her boyfriend, and therefore his friends . . . in other words, the Marauders.

"Oh," said Tom, clearly disappointed. "Ok then. See you on Sunday."

"Yeah," Lily said uncomfortably. 'I really am sorry, Tom."

"S'okay." Tom waved a hand carelessly. "Friends first, as always. That's one of the things I like about you." He gave her an admiring look. "You're so loyal. Anyway, see you around."

And that was that.

**-&-&-&-**

Nine o'clock that evening found Emma, Lily, Sapphire, Remus, Sirius, James and Peter lounging on chairs around the fire, talking and laughing merrily, with bottles of Butterbeer and snacks of every kind strewn around. (Sirius had refused to answer, claiming that he "had a right to remain silent" when Lily had questioned him about where they had come from. She had a sneaking suspicion that James had had a hand in procuring them as well; his guilty-as-charged look and attempt to hastily divert the subject had not escaped her.) The hostility between Sirius and Sapphire had cooled down to almost its usual level of Sirius taunting Sapphire and Sapphire ignoring Sirius. Well, for the most part. Perhaps Sirius' comments were just a little more barbed than usual, but there was no need to point out the obvious, and nothing would make him stop.

"This is bo-ring!" Sirius whined. "We should be talking about something _fun_."

"No more sugar for you, Padfoot," James said firmly. He leaned over and snatched the Chocolate Frog out of Sirius' hand. "I know that tone of voice all too well."

The others laughed as Sirius lunged after it. "Hey! Give that back!" He narrowed his eyes. "Blackman will not rest until justice has been served, and the chocolate has been returned to its rightful owner." He leapt onto James and wrestled him off his chair and onto the floor, trying unsuccessfully to grab the Frog that James was holding just out of his reach.

_"Blackman?_" Sapphire was choking with laughter. "Sounds like Batman to me . . . although the boy is batty, so that might explain it."

"Muggle superhero from comic books," Lily explained to the others, watching as Sirius pummelled James' chest in an attempt to weaken him – how exactly, Lily was not sure.

"Uhm, Sirius?" Peter managed through his laughter. "You_ do_ realize there was a pile of like, five of those right next to your chair."

"Peter!" James yelled from his place on the floor. 'Shut up!'

It was too late; Sirius had heard. "Yay!" he yelled happily. Climbing off James, he flung himself back on his chair and picking a Frog up, bit off its head. James followed more slowly, rubbing his arms.

"Padfoot, you need a diet. You're _heavy_."

"I resent that. What if I end up bulimic tomorrow because of what you said?" He pouted.

As one, everyone burst into more laughter.

"You look like a sick monkey right now!" Sapphire giggled.

Bad move.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You look like a sick monkey _all_ the time, Heathleigh, so I don't know what _you're_ talking about."

"You know," Lily said hastily, trying to head off the oncoming argument, "If someone told me this time last year, that I would be hanging out with you guys and enjoying it, I would have personally escorted them to the Hospital Wing and told Madam Pomfrey they had lost their marbles. But look at me now."

"I am insulted!" Sirius cried. Remus spoke over him.

"Times change, Lily. People change." Was it Lily's imagination, or did he sneak a quick glance at James as he said this?

"You people are so boring," Sirius complained. "Let's play a game." His face lit up. "Spin the Bottle!"

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Ok, a thousand and one apologies for how long it's been since I updated. I had BIG exams, which took away all my time (yes, that's my excuse for everything I don't do right now, and I'm using it shamelessly, as I pointed out to a friend), and they are now over :jumps up and down, singing: Anyway, with any luck, updates will now speed up a little, until I go on holiday (sometime in the near future, I think). Thank you to all the people who reviewed or emailed me, telling me to get up off my lazy arse and post this chapter – for once in my life, I actually LISTENED to someone. Now, a review would be welcomed...just to tell me that I've haven't been forgotten...(hints very unsubtly by pointing at the purple 'review' button in the corner of the screen).


	19. Fun and Games

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**WARNING: This chapter contains some explicit language – you have been cautioned!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 19: Fun and Games?

"Uh-uh," James said, shaking his head. "No way. I know what these turn into with you."

Remus was nodding his head in agreement, but Peter looked torn between which of his friends to support.

"Ok, there's something wrong. James has a _sense of responsibility_?" Lily said. She twisted her face in mock-horror.

"I think I caught it off you!" James said, just as dramatically. He made a little cross out of his fingers and aimed it at her. "Stay away from me!" Lily rolled her eyes at him, but smiled.

She looked at Sirius' pleading expression. "Well, I suppose a _short_ game would be okay," she said slowly.

"As long as we're sensible, and nothing too embarrassing comes up," Emma said. Sapphire shrugged, as James burst into a coughing fit ("Sirius? _Sensible?_ Have you _met_ him?").

Seeing that everyone else was in agreement, however, James and Remus eventually gave in, much to the delight of Sirius, who picked up an empty Butterbeer bottle and placed it on the floor in the middle.

The first to spin was Sirius himself. The bottle ended up pointing at Lily. Sirius smirked. "Lily dear, I seem to remember a certain 'talk' you promised to give me on a certain 'womanly' subject. Since you haven't done that yet, why don' t you tell us something about yourself . . . where and when was your first time?"

Sapphire gasped, thinking he was talking about something else, but Lily hushed her. "You really want to know?" she said coolly, though her cheeks were pink. "Transfiguration lesson, fourth year, 14th October."

"So that's why you left so suddenly that day!" Sirius crowed. "And I thought it was because of James stealing all your quills!" Lily raised her eyebrows.

"So, did you plan on returning the stationery you stole?" she asked quizzically, turning to James, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable; perhaps it was this that made him say "Spin the bottle," so hastily. Lily spun, and it came to rest on Sapphire.

"Hmm…Saffy, what's your honest opinion of Sirius?"

Sapphire looked straight at Sirius, and a smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Finally, I get to speak my mind: Sirius, you're a twisted prat with an ego the size of Asia, who can't keep his mind or his hands to himself," she said firmly. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I could say the same to you, _sweetheart_."

"Ok, ok," Remus interjected quickly.

Sapphire spun. It landed on Remus. "Ok, uhm . . . what's your greatest ambition in life?" She cringed. "I know it's crap, but I can't think of anything else."

Remus looked rather sombre. "To get a job," he answered quietly. Lily understood what he was talking about. James, Sirius and Peter too, looked more serious than usual for a moment. Emma and Sapphire simply looked confused.

"Go on Moony, spin," said Peter quickly, to cover up the awkward silence. Remus reached out and spun it gently. After a few swivels, it stopped facing Lily.

Remus smiled. "You know, I've been wanting to ask you this question for the longest time. We all know you're just naturally clever, so why do you work yourself so hard?"

Lily considered for a moment. "I don't know," she said slowly. "I think . . . maybe because I want to prove myself. If I get top marks, no one can hold the whole Muggle thing against me. Plus," here she smiled mischievously, "I get to rub it in yours and James' faces!" James stuck his tongue out at her; it was common knowledge that he, Remus and Lily were neck-and-neck for the top of most classes. "Seriously though, you guys are the naturally clever ones. I have to work for my marks."

James began to protest, but Remus shushed him. "We'll be here all night if we get into that argument. Spin, Lily."

She did, and it halted on Sirius. "Hmm," Lily said, a wicked glint coming into her eye. "Alright, if you had to pick someone out of this group to go out with, who would you choose?"

Sirius looked around. "James!" he proclaimed merrily.

James looked disgusted and moved away from him. "Best friend, yeah, _boy_friend, never." He shuddered. "Ugh."

"Oh but Jamie!" Sirius cried in a high-pitched voice. "Think of how happy we could be together! You cooking breakfast naked, while I wound my hands around your waist and whispered erotic nothings into your ear. . ."

James was bright red, and looked ready to kill. "I am _never_ sleeping in the same dorm as you again!" he hissed at Sirius. "Remind me to move out tonight!"

Everyone else was laughing hysterically. "Very nice, Sirius," Lily said, controlling herself. "I never knew you batted for the other team. But I meant out of the _girls_."

"Oh," said Sirius, looking crestfallen. "Pity." He considered each one briefly. "You, I suppose. Emma's taken, and Heathleigh . . . well, I refuse to take _her_ out on a date." He shuddered, much like James had. "Yuck. I'd need disinfectant afterwards."

'Like I would ever want _you_ touching _me_, Black! Disinfectant _and_ sandpaper would be what I would need," Sapphire retorted.

Sirius carried on, as if he hadn't heard her. "But you're James', so in reality, I wouldn't go out with you either."

"I am _not_ James' possession!" Lily cried.

James was so low in his chair, it looked like he wanted to fall through the seat, his face burning. Lily too, would have noticed her flushed cheeks if she had not been so busy glaring at Sirius and her friends, both of whom were laughing at her reaction.

"Can we _please_ move on?" James ground out, his face still warm.

"Rightio," Sirius said, grinning manically. He spun the bottle, and to James' obvious dismay, it stopped facing him.

"Looks like the embarrassment isn't over, James dear." Sirius smirked. "Now, I do believe that you have several interesting things that you could tell us about yourself. I'll pick one. Why don't you tell us about a little talent that you picked up off your sister?"

James looked confused. "Playing the piano?"

"YOU play the piano?" three voices chorused at once.

"Yeah. Is that so unbelievable?" James said defiantly.

"No," Emma said, nodding her head vigorously.

"My dears, he does not just 'play the piano.' He _plays_ the piano. Little Mozart in the making. Mind you, he can do jazz and modern as well, really well. Actually, the reason that he plays is rather . . . amusing. Shall I tell them the amusing reason, James?" Sirius took a swig of Butterbeer.

Only one word issued from James' mouth. "NO."

"That's settled then," Sirius said. "Gather round children." He began to talk like a nursery school teacher. "Now, when James' sister Maddie was six, her parents decided it would be good her to play an instrument. So, they bought the piano, got her a tutor, and she started. Naturally, when she could manage simple pieces, she got a lot of attention, being as small as she was. Our James didn't like that _at all_. So, he started playing in secret, sneaking down in the middle of the night, and taught himself how to play all sorts of music, until he could boast that he was better than Maddie. It must have been a classic moment, the day he brought his family into the dining room and played them some concerto or other. Maddie gave up a while ago, but James still plays. He sings rather well, too. Lovely voice."

Everyone turned to look at James, whose red face was hidden in his hands. "When I need a publicising officer, Padfoot, I'll look you up, but for now, please, _shut up_."

"Why? I think playing the piano is dead sexy," Sapphire said. She nudged Lily. "I bet _Lily_ thinks so too, don't you Lily?"

"What? Yeah, I guess - wait a minute! No, no I don't!" Lily's face had flamed as well. Sapphire giggled as Lily gave her a dirty look. "Can we _please_ change the game?"

"YES," James echoed vehemently.

"Oh, but James hasn't done his turn," Sirius said sweetly.

"What? What was all the piano stuff for then?"

"That was just us going off on a little tangent, James dear. My actual question involved a little thing that you were forced to practice on your sister's dolls."

"What? Oh no. Oh no. Padfoot, you are _not_ going there."

"I most certainly am."

"Is it your life's ambition to embarrass me?'

'Of course. That's why I'm best man at your wedding!"

Everyone was laughing now, both at Sirius' innocent grin, and James' murderous expression. "Why are you my best friend?"

"Well Jamesie, if you don't want to say, you know what the forfeit is."

"You know what? The idea of proposing to McGonagall naked in the Great Hall in the middle of lunch is looking quite tempting right now. And DON'T call me Jamesie."

"Jamesie, the choice is yours."

"Fine." James mumbled something that no one caught.

"What was that?" Peter asked.

"I _said_, I know how to do hair. Girls' hair." James was so red now, he looked as though he was going to explode.

"Huh? You mean, like plaits and stuff?" Emma looked confused. James nodded sheepishly. Everyone burst into laughter – again.

"Are – are you serious?" Lily gasped, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Well it was either learn how to French plait her Barbie or watch her go running to Mum whining about how I was being mean to her when I was babysitting her and be docked of chocolate for a week!" James said defensively. "Besides, when you're eight, you have a lot of time on your hands to baby-sit for a six-year-old, and if that means doing her hair to shut her up, then I'd like to see you choose!" His indignant expression only made the others laugh harder.

"Maybe you should do a French plait on _me_ one day!" Lily was clutching her side by now.

"Maybe I will. I'll plait your hair to a Hippogriff and see how you like it!" James stuck his tongue out at her.

"I'm sure you can do it for her at your wedding," Sirius said, in an innocent tone. He seemed to be doing a lot of things 'innocently' that night. "Of course, we might have to work around that thing with the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony and all, but I'm sure we'll sort it out."

That wiped the smile right off Lily's face. "Sirius, you're talking nonsense. It's not going to happen. I suggest we change the game – now."

"PLEASE." James added.

"Fine, fine." Sirius put a hand to his heart dramatically. "If you don't like my games, so be it."

"Any ideas?" Sapphire asked.

"How about a pick-up line competition?" Emma suggested quietly. "It'd give us all a laugh."

Peter picked up on the idea quickly. "Yeah! Here," he wadded up a bunch of wrappers into the semblance of a ball. "We throw this at someone, and they have to say a pick up line, and then throw it on to someone else."

"First one down has to clean up the mess we leave," Lily chimed in.

"Everyone agreed?" Sirius asked.

Seven heads nodded.

"Okay, Emma, your idea, you go first." Peter tossed the ball at her.

"You're so hot, you could make the devil sweat." She grinned impishly, and threw to Remus.

"If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet, I'd put U and I together," he said, and passed to Lily.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" Lily reddened slightly as she aimed at Sirius.

"Nice outfit. Wanna fuck?" Everyone started laughing as he passed to James, who looked disgusted. ("Why the hell are you hitting on me?")

"Never use that on a girl unless you actually _want_ a slap," Lily said, giggling.

"Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room," and the grand prize is: a night with me!" He passed to Sapphire.

"Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes." She looked sheepish as she threw to Peter.

"There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you." He threw to Emma, who caught it deftly.

"I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away." On to James.

James looked around. His eyes fell on Lily. "I've had a really bad day, and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, will you smile for me?" His neck was pink as he threw.

"Can I borrow your owl?" she asked, looking at Remus.

"What for?"

"I want to write home and tell my family I've met the guy of my dreams." Lily passed on.

"Do you believe in helping the homeless?"

"Yeah . . ." Sapphire answered.

"Take me home with you." He passed to her.

"I'm the kind of girl who deserves to have boys I don't deserve." She threw to Remus again.

"I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are." The ball moved to Emma.

"Hi, my name's Emma. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!" She was red as she passed on.

"This is never going to end!" Lily exclaimed, as Sirius caught it.

"You know the rules. Keep going," Remus said.

"The word of the day is 'legs'," Sirius proclaimed. "Let's go back to my place and spread the word."

Lily was next. "You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making all the other guys look bad." Lily passed to James, who opened his mouth, obviously racking his brains.

"That shirt is very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too."

Seven mouths fell open at the implication, and seven heads turned to look at the speaker, who had not been James.

Serena Parkinson stood there, hands on hips, attention focused solely on James. She was wearing an incredibly short red leather skirt, and a tube top. Lily could not understand how she could walk past any teacher looking like that and get away with it.

"Wh-what?" James stammered, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights.

"Come on Jamie. Let's leave these . . . _people_, and go somewhere private." She extended an arm invitingly, and shot a glare at Lily.

James had regained his composure. "Beat it, Parkinson," he said coolly. "And don't call me Jamie."

"Come on James, you know you said I was the best fuck you'd ever had," Serena said, lavisciously, looking at him from under lowered lids.

"What?" James stared at her in disbelief.

"Come on baby, remember the Astronomy Tower, and the Transfiguration classroom? _I_ certainly can't forget them. Those were the best hours of my life…with you moaning my name…" She was bending forwards now, giving him a full view of her cleavage. His eyes, however, remained firmly fixed on her face.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Parkinson. I suggest you get a hobby . . . and a life."

"Well," Serena said salaciously. "If words won't persuade you, maybe actions will."

Without further ado, she bent down, grabbed his shirt collar, and covered his mouth with her own. She gave him a full-on snog for a few seconds, while he struggled under her, until at last he managed to push her away from him. His lips were already swollen, and his face flushed.

"Fuck off, Serena," he managed, breathing heavily. "Crawl back into whatever hole you came out of."

"Whatever you say, Jamie." Serena shrugged nonchalantly. "But mark my words, there'll be a day when you'll come round to my way of thinking, and when you do," here she shot a venomous look at Lily again, "I'll be waiting." She sauntered off. James began scrubbing at his lips with the back of his hand.

"Quick," he moaned. "Get me some disinfectant. And sandpaper. I need to scrub my lips off."

No one moved.

It was Sirius who finally voiced what everyone was thinking. "James, mate, you _slept_ with her?"

James stopped rubbing to stare at him incredulously. "WHAT? I – no – what on earth – Padfoot, this was in _fifth year_ – I was with that slut for _three days_ – when would I – _how_ would I -?"

"But she said you said she was the best fuck you'd ever had," Sirius said, looking rather ill, and not at all hyper.

"And you believe – I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH ANY BLOODY GIRL IN HOGWARTS!" James hollered. It was lucky for him that the common room was more or less empty. "I can't believe you would – why the hell am I justifying my personal life to you? I'm going to bed!" He got up, and without so much as a good night, stomped upstairs.

There was a stunned silence.

"Well, now we know how to get _him_ fired up," Sirius said, attempting to lift the mood damper. He lowered his voice. "I thought he said he wasn't intending to sleep in the same dorm as me."

A few minutes later, James came down the stairs again, still looking exceptionally bad-tempered. "I'm going down to the Heads' Rooms. I am _not_ sleeping in the same dorm as you. Good night." He disappeared through the Portrait Hole.

Sirius shrugged.

"Guess I spoke too soon."

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** So, I take it you all have your copies of the Half-Blood Prince? I think it's the best yet, personally, though that's probably because...well, I won't say, because I don't want to spoil any surprises. Four hours later, 607 pages later, and I was left wishing that I had more to read! And that DEFINITELY didn't happen with OotP.

Anyway, to let you all know, I'll be continuing with TTOTH as usual - fortunately there was nothing in HBP that I can't tweak my story to fit, so all the work of the last year and a half (God, has it really been that long?) isn't wasted. HIA (Here I Am - my other story, check my profile for it if you have no idea what I'm talking about) needs some more consideration...I like it, but...well. Again, I don't want to give anything away about the new book, so I can't do much explaining, but. Hm. I shall be talking that over with my most trusted advisors... :grins: (now, start guessing who they are, or if they even actuallyEXIST...)

Anyway, happy reading of HBP, and I shall update as soon as I can!


	20. Altered Perceptions

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**WARNING:Some chapters maycontainexplicit language – you have been cautioned!**

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 20: Altered Perceptions 

"_Lilyyyyy_," Emma whined for the fifth time. "Tell me what happened!"

"Or we'll be forced to give you a truth potion…and who knows what ugly secrets you could tell us," Sapphire quipped, lying back.

Lily carefully unclipped her earrings and placed them on her dressing table. She swapped her cardigan and sleeveless top for a baggy sweatshirt, and took off her shoes slowly, knowing full well that she was annoying the other two.

Emma's glance fell on Serena, preening in front of the large mirror at the other side of the room. "I've got a top like that," she muttered to Sapphire. "Guess I'll be burning it now."

Serena's top was a cream, off-the-shoulder sweater, with a huge neck. Although Lily could visualise Emma it in quite easily, it did not go with Serena's figure, and clashed with her hair – a fact Serena was obviously not aware of. Unfortunately, Serena had heard Emma's remark. She turned around and widened her mascara-ed eyes at her in mock-innocence.

"Oh honey, _you_ couldn't pull this off!" she said, in tones that almost dripped with fake sympathy. Sapphire pulled a face and snorted.

"Neither can you," she said in an undertone. Emma burst out laughing and Serena eyed them both in disdain.

"Whatever," she said. "I'll leave you kids to it." She walked out of the room, leaving it silent, save for the steady strokes of Lily brushing her hair.

Sapphire could stand it no longer. "Lily Evans, if you do not tell us RIGHT NOW what happened on your date with Tom, I will come over and cause you Grievous Bodily Harm."

"It wasn't a date, it was a walk," Lily replied calmly. She laid her brush down. "And causing me GBH won't make me tell you anything."

"We are not playing a game of semantics here!" Sapphire cried. "Just tell us, already!"

Lily sighed and swivelled around. "It was … nice."

This time it was Emma who snorted. "Lily I've been your best friend for seven years. Don't think I can't tell when you're lying."

"Okay, okay!" Lily threw up her hands in defeat. "It wasn't great. Tom is sweet, though."

"But …" prompted Sapphire.

"But…I don't know. He tried to compliment me quite a few times. I guess…it doesn't roll off as easily as it does for some, so it was a bit awkward. And some of the things he said – well, I can't relate to them very well."

"Like?"

"Like…when he was talking about Quidditch as a future career. I mean yeah, I like the game, but all that stuff he was reeling off about teams, like profits…I had a hard time just following the jargon – what I am I meant to say about any of that?"

"Where did you go?" Emma asked.

"Just walked around the lake…then he took me to this hill hidden behind some trees and we watched the sun set. It would have been romantic, I suppose, if he hadn't been so…self-conscious."

"So are you going to go out again?" There was a curious note in Sapphire's voice.

"Yeah, probably." Lily shrugged. "He's really nice…and we were talking _most_ of the time." She grinned suddenly. "He does _such_ good impressions of the teachers!"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, tell Saffy what happened when you came up to the common room!" Emma was bouncing up and down on her bed.

"Didn't Tom walk you up?" Sapphire asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Excuse me? He was talking about Quidditch inter-relations by that time. I escaped to the toilets!"

"Tell her, tell her, tell her! Tell her what happened when you got upstairs!"

Sapphire looked expectantly at Lily, who rolled her eyes. "I talked to James. Big freakin' deal."

"Lily, you're holding out on her!"

"What am I supposed to say? He asked me how my date was, I said okay, and he smiled. So what?"

"So what! Lily Evans, are you blind? Did you not _see_ how forced his smile was?"

"No, I didn't. You're just seeing things."

"I am not! I -" Emma broke off as they heard a male voice float up the stairs.

"Emma!"

"That's Remus," Sapphire said, recognizing the distinct notes of his voice.

"Be right back, I suppose." Emma swung the door open, then turned to glare at Lily. "Tell her all, and I mean _all_ the details." She narrowed her eyes, and left the room. Sapphire turned to Lily.

"Okay, give me the _full_ story. Don't leave anything out."

Lily came over to her bed, and flopped down. "I seriously don't know what she's talking about. There isn't much to tell. Em met me just outside the portrait hole, and then we went in. James came over to ask me about Head business, and then he just went, 'Did you just go out on a date?' I said yeah, with Tom, so he said, 'Did you have a good time?' and I said it was okay, and he smiled and said, 'Great, see you.' Emma just _thinks_ it was forced."

"Well, what do _you_ think it was?" Sapphire asked impatiently.

"I don't know! Probably just Emma seeing things. If she were here, she'd probably be inferring enough to write a book from the way he was standing or whatever. He was -"

The door opened, and Emma came in, looking ashen. She shut the door, and came to sit down, putting her head in her hands.

"Uh, Em? What's going on?" Lily questioned. An idea flashed into her head. An idea of what this was about. A very bad idea.

Emma lifted her head and looked at Lily. "You knew Remus was a werewolf." It was not a question, but a statement. Beside her, Lily felt Sapphire tense.

"Yeah," she replied, not quite sure where the conversation was going.

"He just told me," Emma said, stating the obvious. "He said he had something personal to tell me, and he hoped I would accept it, and he told me." Her tone was expressionless.

"And … what did you say?" Lily asked.

"I left." Emma's face was hidden in her hands again. "I can't believe this. He's a _monster_."

"No he's not," Lily said, sliding over to sit next to her. "He's still the same guy you know and like. He's just got a … disease."

"A disease that turns him into a raging monster once a month?"

"It's a problem, yeah, but surely you can see that he's still the same person?"

"Lily's right," Sapphire's soft voice said. She had moved to the other side of Emma. "He's the same person. You just know something more about him."

"But h-he's a…creature of the night. _Evil_."

'No he's not!" Lily said desperately. She had a horrible feeling about what was going to happen. "He's a good guy, Em! You can't blame him for something that happened when he was little! And don't you understand, Emma? Why he said that his ambition in life was to get a job? All that prejudice against werewolves out there? Do you really think he needs more from you?"

"You can't be intending to throw him away over this," Sapphire added, equally urgently. "What you have is special; don't give it up!"

"I don't know," said Emma. She got up and went to her own bed, where she climbed in. "I need time to think."

"But -" Lily began, but Sapphire shushed her.

"Let her be," she said quietly. "She'll soon see sense."

The two of them went outside into the corridor, where they could talk without disturbing their friend.

"Did you know about him?" Lily asked quietly.

Sapphire pushed her hair back worriedly. "No,' she said. 'I had my suspicions, but I never got to any definite conclusions. And I never dreamt Em would take it this badly."

"Neither did I," Lily said in an agitated whisper. "I was the one who encouraged Remus to tell her in the first place!"

Sapphire moved forward and pulled Lily into a comforting hug. "You did the right thing. She would have had to have known sooner or later, so it's better that they get this over with now."

"What if they don't get it over with?" Lily looked panicky.

"Things will sort themselves out," Sapphire said, much more decisively than she felt. "You'll see."

Lily gave a glance towards the light reflecting up from the common room. "Think I should go and see how he's doing?"

Sapphire shrugged. "If you want to." She put her hand on the doorknob. "I'll be right here." She went in, and Lily crossed the corridor and descended reluctantly into the common room.

Remus was sitting in a chair on his own, staring into the fire. She walked over to stand beside him, unsure of how he would react to her.

"Hi," she said uncertainly.

"Hey," was the short reply.

After a few moments of standing there, waiting for a response which wasn't going to come, she launched into speech; not knowing exactly what she was saying.

"Remus, I'm so sorry, I honestly never thought Emma would take it as badly as she did. Seriously, I'm sure she'll get over it – and I feel so bad for telling you to tell her – I apologise for saying th -"

"Lily," Remus interrupted. He at last looked away from the fire. Lily had always seen, had always appreciated his gentle grey eyes, but never had she known how stormy they could be, until that moment when he finally turned them upon her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to feel bad about and nothing to apologise for."

"What?" Lily asked, wrong footed.

"Everything you said when we talked was true. There was nothing wrong with any of it. So you have nothing to be sorry for."

"But I -"

Remus spoke over her. "You pointed out that I would have to tell her about it sooner or later. You were right. Eventually, this would have happened. And you said that if she really lov-liked me, then it wouldn't matter to her. It did. I accept that. I can't expect pity or understanding from most of the wizarding world, so obviously I can't expect it from her." He rubbed his eyes. "Dumbledore said I would have to make sacrifices because of my problem when I came here. I guess she was one of them."

Lily was by now kneeling down beside him. "Remus, if I could change things, I would," she said quietly.

"But you can't," Remus said lightly. "So there's no point in d-dwelling on it." His voice caught in his throat, and he looked back at the fire.

"Maybe -" Lily started, but just then Sirius, James and Peter climbed through the portrait hole. As one, their expressions became puzzled at the sight of their friend. Lily changed, mid-sentence. "I'll leave you with Sirius and James and Peter. They'll probably be able to cheer you up more than I can. 'Night Remus."

She turned to go, receiving a quiet goodnight in reply as she did so, and headed back up the stairs, hoping that his friends would be able to help. The dorm, when she reached it, was silent and dark, except for Sapphire curled up on her bed, reading under a solitary torch. She looked up as Lily walked in.

"Is she asleep?" Lily asked, nodding her head at Emma's bed. Sapphire nodded.

"I checked a few minutes ago."

"Remus is seriously upset," Lily said in a low voice, seating herself opposite her friend. "I mean it, Saffy, he's practically heartbroken, but he's refusing to show it." She glanced towards the lump under the covers again. "He said that this is just a sacrifice he's going to have to make – he's being really brave about it." Another glance. She paused and looked at her hands. "I honestly can't believe the way she reacted. I keep thinking this is just a bad dream, and I'll wake up, and everything will be normal."

Sapphire put a soothing hand over her friend's. "Lil, you heard the way she was talking before. She's not like you and me – she's from a wizarding family." She saw Lily's face and stopped to rephrase. "I mean, yeah, I'm half, but since Mum only told me she was a witch when I got my letter, it's not like she taught me what to think on stuff like this. Em, on the other hand, has been told since she was old enough to understand that werewolves are bad and evil, and that she shouldn't have anything to do with 'their kind'. It's hard to overcome beliefs instilled in you at a young age. She'll work things out eventually – whether that means that she leaves Remus behind forever, I don't know."

Lily sighed. "I wish this hadn't happened."

"So do I," Sapphire said. "I'm terrible at comforting people – I always say the wrong thing. But until she comes to terms with her own heart – with herself, we're just going to have to heave her alone, and not pester. It's her decision."

Lily looked at Sapphire, raising an eyebrow. "You have such good advice. Since when did you get so wise and all-knowing?"

"You only just noticed? I'm ashamed of you!"

Lily threw a pillow at her friend and stuck her tongue out. "I'm going to bed, All-Knowing-One. Or did you already know that?"

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Sweet dreams," she said. Lily changed, and climbed into bed, hoping very much that the day would bring with it new counsel.

**-&-&-&-**

When Lily finally woke up the next morning, three of the four other beds were still occupied. A cursory glance at Emma's bed showed that she was still asleep, and Lily felt a pang, remembering the events of last night. She pulled herself up, and walked into the bathroom, a gleamingly white, airy room, fitted with large mirrors, and several sinks. Two small rooms led off from the main in opposite corners, one housing a shower, and the other a toilet. The lightness of the room woke Lily up slightly more, and she splashed water on her face as she brushed her teeth. She had originally intended to take a shower, but seeing that the door to the shower was closed, she shrugged it off. _I'll have to fit in time somewhere after the Head meeting tonight,_ she thought. She walked back to her room, not looking forward to the prospect of Transfiguration, and once she had dressed, began sorting out her books. A noise at the door made her turn round to see a brown-haired girl standing there.

"Can I help yo-oh my God!" She sat down hard on her bed, staring at the familiar-yet-unfamiliar girl smiling nervously at her from the doorway. "Saffy?" she asked weakly.

The girl grinned wider.

"Do I look different?"

"What - what have you _done_?" Lily questioned, staring at Sapphire's hair. Although just last night she had been her usual pale brown colour, now, her hair was a strikingly deeper brown. It was not as dark as Emma's mahogany hair, but was a deep chestnut, with hints of auburn. The colour accentuated her cerulean eyes even more, making them sparkle with life.

"It's not what I _have_ done, it's what I _haven't_ done. The colour my hair used to be wasn't natural. _This_ is."

"Wha-how?"

Sapphire smiled even more. "Dye. Based on the Muggle kind, but it's magical, so it lasts longer, and when it goes, it all goes in one go so you know you need to reapply." She held up a box, and Lily could just about make out the name in cursive writing: '_Witch 'N' Go; Nice 'N' Easy', _with a toothy brown-haired witch smiling beneath, flicking her hair around; _Because we're born for beauty._

"Why on earth would you use that?" Lily still felt too weak to stand up; she was still eyeing Sapphire's gleaming locks in shock.

Sapphire looked distant. "If you remember, this was the colour I was when I first came to Hogwarts. Callie convinced me that this," she shook the box, "would make me look nice, and after that … I dunno, it just became like a shield. It was like…even if Callie and I had a rough patch, the fact that I was still using this could hold us together, sort of." She shook her head. "Stupid, I know. Plus, it got me what I always wanted: inconspicuousness." She grinned unrepentantly. "It all washed out this morning, though, so I figured, I'm free of Callie, I can be free of this too." She put her hand to her hair, and her grin vanished. All at once, she looked nervous and worried. "Is it okay? I mean, I could always go and us -" She got no farther, because Lily had flung herself at her.

"Saffy, you look prettier than ever."

Sapphire looked happier. "That's that then." Once Lily had released her, she dropped the box into the bin, where it hit the bottom with a loud clang. In the bed next to theirs, a few incoherent mumbles were heard, and then a loud gasp. Both girls looked around to see Emma, sitting up in bed and looking at Sapphire as though she was a ghost.

"You explain," said Sapphire, bending to retrieve some socks for the day.

**-&-**

By the time the whole situation had been explained to Emma, and the three of them were dressed and ready, Serena and Callie still had not woken up. Sapphire, Emma and Lily left them as they were. As Lily so neatly put it: "Those hags need their beauty sleep. I don't intend to be put off my food by their faces for the rest of the day."

Just as they were about to go through the portrait hole, it swung open before them, and Sirius clambered in, clearly having just breakfasted. Emma turned pale, thinking Remus was behind, but Sirius was on his own. His mouth opened, but then his eyes fell on Sapphire, and he closed it again. For seconds, he stared at her, his expression unreadable. Then, his customary smirk that he saved especially for Sapphire crept slowly onto his face once again.

"So you've finally decided to go with the colour of your home? Good for you, Sapphire-of-the-Mud."

For a moment, Sapphire looked as though she wanted to cry. Then, her face hardened. She moved forward, and…

_SMACK!_

She had slapped him hard across his cheek. As he winced and put a hand to his face, she took a step back, surveying her handiwork.

"That was especially for you," she told him sweetly. "And don't worry, there's plenty more where it came from." She climbed out of the common room.

"Yeah?" Sirius yelled after her. "Well if you think that changes my opinion, you're wrong!"

Emma and Lily followed Sapphire. Just before the portrait swung closed behind them, Lily caught Sirius' voice, floating back to her.

"…second time I've been slapped by one of those three…"

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Ok, so I hope you enjoyed that…now for the bad news…there won't be an update of this for a few weeks, because I'm leaving all of civilisation to go globetrotting. Translation: I'm going on holiday, to a place where there is unlikely to be internet access – or rather, there is unlikely to be internet that I have access to L. Anyway, I'm taking fanfic stuff with me, and I'll be working on the all-important chapter 35 in whatever spare time I get to myself, so it's not coming to a _complete _standstill, if that's any consolation. So. Hope you guys all have a happy few weeks of summer holiday, and I shall see you (or rather, post to you) when I get back!

Take care, all!

Now, did you enjoy this chapter enough to leave me a little review? (stares hopefully).


	21. Good Manners

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 21: Good Manners 

"Hey," Remus said, seating himself next to James. Sirius and Peter both grinned at him, but Emma, sitting a few places down on the other side of the table, froze and looked at him, eyes widening, and got up to walk off, leaving her lunch half-finished and Sapphire on her own. She was so intent on walking out that she walked straight past Lily, who had just reached the entrance to the Great Hall and had witnessed the above scene. The flurry of movement alerted Remus, who looked up in time to watch her leave, an unreadable expression on his face.

Lily was very much tempted to slump against the door and groan. It had been like this all day; Emma getting up and going off whenever Remus came within a ten-metre radius. The tension between them was like walking on thin ice – _very_ thin ice – and it was _not_ fun. Lily would probably have shaken her friend silly by now, except for the fact that Sapphire had made her promise not to say anything about it to her. As it was, she simply shifted her bag onto her shoulder more securely and headed for her friends.

"Hey Saffy, hey you four." She picked up a napkin and began piling sandwiches into it.

"What, we don't get greeted by name?" Sirius exclaimed, through a mouthful of food.

"No time for names. And don't speak with your mouth full."

Sirius swallowed hastily. "But you called Sapphire-In-The-Mud her name!" Sapphire shot him a withering look, which he ignored.

"Whatever. No time." Lily folded another napkin over her lunch and surveyed the other food on display on the table.

Sirius eyed the stack of sandwiches teetering in her hand in disbelief. "So when do you find the time to eat all that?"

"Somewhere between writing a Charms essay, writing a letter to Gladrags, and dealing with those stupid lists of figures for the stupid ball decorations which I am doing _all wrong_, before tonight's meeting."

"I can help you out with them, if you want," James offered, taking a bite of his food.

"Thanks." She slipped a couple of apples into her bag with one hand and looked back at James. "Seven-thirty, as usual?"

"Yeah."

"Right. See you later." She disappeared.

"Was it just me, or was that rather exclusively aimed at Jamie-boy?"

"Padfoot," Remus said, keeping a straight face. "Terribly sorry to remind you, but it's a bad idea to say things like that unless you _want _a hit upside the head."

"What do you mean? Jamie-boy hasn't done anythi – OUCH!"

Sapphire snorted, and Sirius rubbing his head, glared at her. Ignoring this, Sapphire reached across the table for the nearest jug of pumpkin juice.

"Let me help you with that," a voice said. The jug was lifted just as her fingers were about to grasp it, and thrust into her face. Straightening up, she found a tall boy, who she vaguely recognized as a Ravenclaw seventh-year, staring down at her with a grin on his face that was obviously intended to be charming.

"Thanks," she said, eyeing him suspiciously, "uh…"

"Leon Leon Wilkes. And it was no prob -"

"But," Sapphire continued coolly, "last time I checked, my arms were still in full working order, so you don't need to bother."

"I -"

_"Really_ don't need to bother. Later," she added pointedly, and she sat down firmly, looking at her food until she heard him leave.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "God, Heathleigh, no need to break his heart."

"Yeah right," Sapphire retorted. "You wait 'til someone tries to hit on _you_."

"Well actually, if it's a girl, and if it's a pretty girl, I don't really mind."

"Ugh," Sapphire exclaimed. "Can you not _hear_ how shallow you sound? You put me right off my lunch." She got up and left.

Sirius shrugged. "Prickly."

**-&-**

By the time Lily found her friends that evening to borrow a few quills, fifteen minutes before the Head meeting, Sapphire was still ranting – mostly to Emma. Lily was quite amazed at the language that could come out of her friend's mouth when she was annoyed.

"…they've been at it all bloody day!" she was saying furiously. "Opening doors, offering to walk me to class – am I an _invalid_ or something? _All_ they have been doing is hitting on me!" She saw Lily. "Can you _believe_ it, Lils? It's utterly pathetic! It's like they think I'm some kind of _bimbo_ like Serena who's actually going to be _flattered _by the way they act!"

"Uh, Saffy…" Lily said. Emma shook her head.

"I've been trying that for the past half an hour," she said in an undertone. "I don't think she can hear us."

Sapphire was still going on.

"…I swear, the only lot who haven't turned themselves into gibbering idiots are the Marauders and Tom, and that's because Black hates me almost as much as I hate him, Remus likes Emma, Peter's just – not into that kind of stuff, and James and Tom are both interested in you!"

"James and I are _just friends_, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Lily said, exasperated.

Sapphire took no heed and rambled on at full steam. "…isn't there some sort of law against this? Or rule? Because there bloody well should be! Something to stop idiot _boys_ from chasing after innocent girls for _no reason whatsoever_. D'you know, some _numbskull_ even brandished _mistletoe_ at me? He needs a calendar – I'm just going to have to take action and punch any boy that comes near me, since the language obviously hasn't given them the idea…"

"Okay, forget it, I have to go," Lily said, looking hurriedly at her watch. "I'll just borrow a quill off James or something. See you guys later, right?"

Emma mouthed "Bye" at her, and Sapphire granted her a disgruntled wave before continuing to gesture violently about what she would have liked to do to several boys if she had had the chance.

**-&-**

Five minutes later, she climbed into the Heads' Room, thoroughly out of breath.

"You're late," James teased, looking up from the parchment on his table.

"Sorry," Lily gasped, dropping her bag (they had decided to move their two separate tables together a while ago, since it made working together much easier). "I have a friend who can't shut up about the evils of the male population."

"Oh yeah," James said, focusing on his parchment once more as Lily pulled out her work. "I saw Sapphire looking ready to kill when Andy McGregor offered to walk her to the Hall."

"Mmmhmm," Lily agreed absently, scanning the list of figures before her. "Hey, could I borrow a quill?"

"Yeah." James crossed over to his bag, which Lily now realized was dumped on the sofa, and ferreted through it.

"What's that?" Lily suddenly asked, getting up and walking over to the fireplace. A photo frame stood above on the mantelpiece. Lily lifted it up to see a photo of the four Marauders inside, all grinning at the camera. As she watched, Sirius and James started to play-fight, while Remus looked at them, half-smiling, half-scandalised, and Peter laughed outright. She smiled. "Sweet." Turning around, she looked at James. "How's Remus?" she asked hesitantly.

James straightened up, a quill in his hand. "Bitter," he answered. He threw it over to her, and she snatched it out of mid-air. "He can understand the whole not-talking-to-him thing, but he's not happy about the acting-like-he-has-a-contagious-disease part." He wandered over and took the photo out of her hands, twirling it absently in his own. "Can't you talk to her about that?"

"I could." Lily sighed. "In fact, I would. But Saffy made me promise that I would 'leave her to work it out by herself'.''

"Ah." There was a short silence.

"I hate this!" Lily burst out. "It's like the way Emma used to be after Prefect Meetings with Remus before they got together, except this is ten times worse! She won't tell me anything, and she hides all her feelings!"

James shrugged. "Not much we can do about it, is there? Remus is exactly the same. Short of locking them both into a room – which I don't intend to do because I value my life – we're just going to have to sit tight." He walked back and sat down in Lily's seat.

"Hey!" Lily protested.

James raised his eyebrows. "Do you _want_ help with the figures for decorations?"

Lily looked sheepish. "Oh. Okay then." She sat down in his seat, noting that it was still pleasantly warm from when he had been sitting there, and glanced at the parchment before her before brushing it aside. "Menu options?"

"Mmm," James agreed, examining the lists of numbers in front of him. After a few minutes, he looked up and wrinkled his nose at her. "Tell you what, Lily, why don't _I_ do this, and you can deal with the menus. This needs to be…"

"Redone?" Lily guessed.

"Well – no – not complete – yeah, it does," James admitted. "I thought you would have gone to primary school – it's not that difficult to add and subtract, is it?"

Lily made a face and stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm just not someone who has a friendship with the world of numbers. We had a really horrible maths teacher – my sister was the one who helped me there. I was better at writing and stuff…anything that didn't involve the words 'profit' and 'loss'."

James laughed. "It's not that hard. I was talked into doing this for money." He deepened his voice, Lily guessed to sound like his father's. "James, my boy, there is no such thing as being bored. Tell you what, if I teach you how to do the household accounts, you might even get some money off your mother for it." James grinned. "Dad knew money was always a big incentive for me to do things."

Lily laughed. "So how much are they paying you to be a responsible Head Boy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" James smirked.

"Oh but I would."

"Okay then." James leaned towards her conspiratorially. "They are paying me," he whispered dramatically, "a truck-load of Chocolate Frogs every day!"

Lily could not help but laugh again. "You and your wild imagination. So where do you keep this truckload of Chocolate Frogs?"

"In the Library, hidden in books." James looked solemn. "They offered me a truckload of troll bogies as well, but I said no thank you to those."

Lily burst into laughter all over again. "Insane boy," she scolded, though her lips were twitching upwards. "Get on with those numbers before _I_ have to finish them."

"Point taken," James said hurriedly, picking up his quill.

**-&-&-&-&-&-**

Within the next few days, life was looking up for Lily. She had gone on another date with Tom – this time, a "study" date – and had come back flushed with success. Tom had been much more conversable than she expected, and they had shared several… intimate moments, hidden away in the back corner of the library. That, plus a lighter workload than usual, meant that for one night, Lily was able to relax and compose a list of various information yet to be decided for the ball. Fetching her bits and pieces from the Heads' rooms, she made her way up to the common room. As she entered it, she saw that Sapphire was working at a table beside the fire, having snagged it at the last moment, and headed over to her.

"Hey," she said cheerfully, dumping her bag and pulling up a chair.

"Hey," Sapphire replied. She placed her quill back in her bottle and looked up. "You know, this may be only time you ever hear me say this, but I love Flitwick and McGonagall for not giving us essays tonight."

"Yeah, me too," Lily agreed, taking out all her bits of parchment. "It really saved my life – and my sanity."

Sapphire laughed, then looked down at her work. "Ugh, three more constellations and I've finished the star chart for Astronomy. Then it's just those Potions questions."

Lily peered over her friend's shoulder, her rusty fifth-year Astronomy flooding back. She twisted her head, then pointed to one of the stars. "Hey, isn't that Sirius Minor?" She twisted her head in the other direction, and then traced the path of a constellation. "And Sirius Major?"

Sapphire turned the parchment round. "Lily, you genius!" she exclaimed delightedly. She dipped her quill into ink and scribbled the names in. "There," she said cheerfully. "Two down. Although technically they're Canis Minor and Major." She studied her work. "Pity I can't relabel those Human Minor and Git Major."

Lily suddenly remembered something she had meant to mention to her friend. "Saffy," she began slowly, "have you heard -"

"Hello children!" An arm was flung around Lily's shoulders, and looking up, she saw Sirius' blue eyes twinkling down at her. "Ahoy maties!" he sang out. "Everything shipshape here?"

Lily rolled her eyes, and removed his arm from her shoulders.

"It was, until you turned up," Sapphire said.

Sirius put a hand to his heart dramatically. "I'm injured!" he said, faking a sorrowful tone. Then he dropped his pose. "But at least _I_ know when I'm not wanted."

Sapphire bent her head back over her work so that her hair fell over her face, but the glint of her eye could still be seen. "So why are you still here?"

Sirius huffed and walked away; Lily watched him go. She then turned to Sapphire.

"Saffy, have you heard -"

"I _hate_ that boy!" Sapphire burst out. "He's so -"

"SAPPHIRE!" Lily yelled, startling both herself and her friend, who abruptly shut up. She cleared her throat. "Have you, uh…heard the rumours?"

"What rumours?" Sapphire said, half her attention back on her work.

"The rumours about you and – and Sirius…fancying each other."

Sapphire's head snapped up. "_What_?" she hissed.

"Uhm…I don't think it's got round the whole school." Lily quailed under Sapphire's furious glare. "It's just that…since you've been yelling at every boy who's approached…I think someone's got an idea and run away with it."

"Oh my -" Sapphire said. She looked over in disgust at Sirius, who was talking to his friends. "This is _insufferable_."

Lily looked at her friend in concern, but then proceeded to get on with her work in the hope that Sapphire would simmer down.

Ten minutes later, Sapphire flung down her quill violently. "This is stupid," she said angrily. "I'm going up. I can't concentrate."

Thinking that it would be best for her to go and cool off, Lily let her go, and remained alone at her table, chewing her quill and trying to think of desserts that everyone in the school would like.

Fifteen minutes later, an arm snaked round Lily's neck, and two hands clasped over her eyes.

"Guess who?" a voice whispered. Lily smiled, despite herself.

"No idea," she said.

"Would this help?" She felt a soft touch on her collarbone, and it took her a few moments to realise what it was. A kiss.

"Tom?"

The hands removed themselves from her eyes, and she twisted around to see Tom's face smiling sheepishly. She smiled back up at him.

"That was unexpected," she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, well." Tom looked at his feet. "You looked so lovely, I couldn't walk past without saying hi."

Lily laughed and turned back around to her work. Before long, she felt a pair of arms move around her waist, and the weight of Tom's head on her shoulder.

"What're you doing?" he asked sleepily.

"Head business. Coming up with menus for the ball," she replied. She looked curiously at Tom's tousled head. "What's with all the r-romance?" she asked, momentarily forgetting herself as his warm breath tickled her skin.

Tom pressed another kiss on her, this time on her cheek. "I just feel -" He broke off as a shadow moved across the table. A loud noise sounded, and Lily looked up to see a dark-haired boy standing in front of the fire. Angling her head, she could see that the familiar profile could only be James, ripping up a piece of parchment (albeit rather more loudly and violently than necessary) and throwing the pieces one by one into the fire. He turned round to see them looking at him.

"Oh, sorry," he said. Perhaps Lily did not notice, occupied as she was by Tom's arms tensing around her, but James was smiling in a way that was _meant_ to be apologetic.

_Meant_ to be.

He walked back to his friends, and Lily began to work again, Tom snuggling his face into the hollow of her neck and breathing softly against her. She could feel his heart beating out of rhythm against her own.

"So what were you saying?" she questioned softly, as she erased a word with her wand.

"I dunno," Tom said. His arms wound further around her, and Lily breathed in sharply as his cool hands brushed against the bare skin of her stomach. "It just feels…right. Like I'm meant to be here, with you."

Lily smiled, and was about to turn around to give him a kiss on the cheek again, when another sound distracted them, and she looked instead up to the sound of coals being raked noisily. James was crouching by the fire, loudly rattling the poker and tongs, shifting hot coals around. Eventually he got up and swivelled to look at them.

"Sorry," he said, briefly. "The other side of the room's a bit cold." The fact that he was wearing a t-shirt did not seem to occur to him. Lily rolled her eyes as he walked away again.

"Déjà vu," Tom said, as he refocused on her. "Now, what were we doing?"

"This," Lily replied, nodding her head at her parchment. Tom shook his head.

"No," he said. "This." He kissed her softly and quickly on the lips.

"Tom!" Lily protested, feeling her cheeks redden. "This is the _common room_ and we are in _full view_ of the whole House! Stop it!" But she allowed him to keep himself near her, his body warmth enveloping her. She continued to try to think of ideas for the menus, while Tom gave her mingled suggestions and discreet kisses.

Slowly, though, another noise faded into the foreground. Every so often, Lily would hear intermittent bouts of coughing. It began to occur to her that a certain someone seemed to be crossing the room several times, always happening to walk straight in front of her. More annoyed now, she looked up.

"James, what _are_ you doing?" she asked impatiently.

James shrugged. "Sirius keeps chucking my quill here." He held up a quill, as if for evidence.

"And the coughing?"

"I have a dry throat, ok?" James too sounded slightly irritated.

"Good for you. Bye_ bye_."

James ignored her and walked off.

The peace did not last long.

Five minutes later, Lily was roused once again. Most people in the common room were working, but the Marauders were talking quietly. All of a sudden, James burst into loud laughter. So loud, in fact, that almost the entire room turned to look at him, including Lily.

For a moment, she wondered what the joke was, and then she realised that there _was_ no joke. Remus, Sirius and Peter were staring at him, looking just as confused as everyone else.

"Good one, Padfoot!" James said, apparently trying to calm down. He burst into laughter again.

"Uh…okay," Sirius said uncertainly. "Whatever you say."

James calmed down again, and looked around at the staring people, his eyes lingering a moment too long on the two figures by the fire. "Sorry I disturbed you," he said amiably, grinning round. "It was just so funny!"

Slowly, everyone began to return to what they were doing, and the noise level rose back to its original level. It was not fast enough, however, that Lily did not hear Sirius say: "James, what the heck were you laughing at?"

She ignored the comment, passing it off as nothing important, and focused once again on trifle, apple pie, and ice cream.

Twenty minutes later, Tom still next to (and partly on top of) her, Lily saw a shadow once again before her. No prizes for guessing who it was.

"James," Lily said, through partially gritted teeth. "What is it _now_?"

"Nothing," James said coolly. "I just wanted to see if you've finished with the dessert suggestions, so we can combine them and the main course."

"Not really," Lily replied, stretching her neck.

"Oh," James said. He paused a moment before adding sarcastically, "Well, _I_ thought you were working pretty hard. Must have not been the parchment you were studying so intently."

Tom's arms tightened around her, but Lily wrenched herself out of them and stood up quickly.

"Wh – Ja – you –" She narrowed her eyes, grabbed his arm roughly, and turned to face Tom. "I'm sorry Tom, I just need to go and have a talk about _good manners_ with the Head Boy." Whirling around, she dragged James out of the common room angrily, and down the corridor, a short distance from the Fat Lady. She swung him around to face her.

"_What_ is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," James said. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

"Oh yes you do!" Lily said angrily. She put her hands on her hips and gazed at him. "Don't deny it. Why couldn't you leave me alone?"

"I have no idea what you're on about," James said. He looked up at the ceiling. "Aren't we just wasting our time here?"

"Nope," Lily replied. She changed her tactics, and imitated his pose. "We are going to stand right here until you decide to be mature."

"You'll be out here all night."

"Do you think I care?"

"I don't know. _Do_ you?"

Lily was about to respond heatedly, but bit her tongue just in time. Instead, she fixed her gaze on his face, determined that they would sort things out.

Eventually, after ten minutes of silence, James finally tore his eyes away from his feet and sighed.

"So are you going out with Tom?"

The question was so unexpected that it took Lily by surprise. "Don't change the subject."

"I'm not. Are you going out with him?"

Lily sighed, deciding it was no use fighting him. "Yes," she said wearily.

"Do you like him?"

"What's with the interrogation?"

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah." Lily failed to see the point of this, but if it meant that he would eventually start talking, she was all for it.

James looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Then maybe I should warn you, Lily. Tom isn't perfect."

"Excuse me?"

"He tends to…uh, kind of, believe rumours, without question."

Lily was genuinely baffled about why he was saying this. "What on earth are you on about?"

"It's just – he tends to, uh, be one of those people that listen to rumours, and take them seriously. So, uh, be careful. He's wanted by a lot of girls in school. All of whom know his weakness."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "I can look after myself."

"I was trying to help," James said in a nettled tone.

"I don't need help!" Lily shot back. "There's nothing wrong, and I don't see why you have to take such an interest in my personal life!"

"I'm just saying, Tom isn't as great as he seems!"

"What do you have against Tom? He's a nice guy! You can't decide who I can and can't go out with!"

By this time, their voices were escalating, and what Lily had originally thought of as a "discussion" was quickly becoming an argument.

"Why do you care? That has nothing to do with it!"

"Yes it does! It has everything to do with it! What do you have against him?" James glared at her. "Is it something he does or says? Is it that he takes up space in the _Marauders'_ dorm? Is it because you know girls are after him too? Is that it? Are you jealous?"

James turned abruptly away from her.

Lily stared at his back. "That's it, isn't it? You're jealous of him. But why? You're popular, clever, Head Boy. What could you _possibly_ be jealous about?"

James sighed. He turned around, his arms still crossed defensively over his body, but would not meet her eyes. "You know what? In one respect, I do envy him." His voice was quiet, and he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"But what can he have that you want? You have everything!"

"There's one thing he's got that I haven't."

"What's that?" Lily was genuinely curious by now – there was no longer any anger in her tone.

For the first time, James raised his head and looked directly into her eyes.

"He's got you."

And he walked away.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Hi all. Excuse my late update (what else is new?) and I promise to try and get the next one out as soon as I get half a chance. No guarantees, though – from what I've heard, Year 12 is a bitch when it comes to work :grimaces: Encouraging, no? See my LJ for a full explanation (link on my profile).

Love you all, and love you even more if you leave a review,

CoS


	22. By The Lake

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 22: By The Lake**

If Lily had been at breakfast that morning, she would have sat down in the place that Emma had saved for her, and observed the cheerfulness of her House table, all looking forward to a lazy Saturday morning, Marauders included.

She would have been too busy talking happily to Emma to take much notice of the arrival of the owl post, but eventually, she would have looked up to the flurry of feathers and her eyes would have fixed on James.

She would then have picked up on the snowy owl that had swooped down to him and held out its leg (simultaneously trying to dip its beak into his goblet and managing to knock it over, spilling pumpkin juice all over the sausage Sirius had been about to eat.)

She would have watched as he untied the letter and stroked the owl gently before allowing it to fly off.

As he read the words before him, Lily would have perceived his eyes, darkening to ebony, and his jaw, rigid with suppressed emotion.

She would have seen him look up briefly, to close his eyes and take a deep, shuddering breath, before crumpling the letter forcefully, hurling it from him with loathing, and then getting up to walk quickly out of the hall, his hands clenched at his sides to control the shaking.

She would have looked on in concern at Remus' and Sirius' identical expressions of alarm as they stared after him, until Sirius reached out to tentatively pick up the parchment and smooth it out.

She too would have stared at the expression of horror that spread over his handsome features as he read.

But she wasn't at breakfast.

So she didn't.

In fact, she woke up feeling relatively refreshed, after a peaceful sleep. She was the last one to wake, although it was a Saturday (no cause for waking early), and both her friends had left. She stretched, watching the way the cool November sunlight danced across the mirror, and felt ready to face the day.

That was, until she remembered the drama of the previous night.

Everything good about her day more or less went out of the window after that.

She wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide…which she did. After a moment of lying there, however, she had to face the facts. A few minutes of soul-searching and replaying the events made Lily see things in a clearer light. Perhaps she _had_ been a little harsh on James. He had been annoying her, but when was he ever _not_ annoying? For all that, he had, in reality, been trying to help her, in his own twisted way, and she had reacted defensively. So both of them had become stubborn and irritated, and things had gone a little too far. As for the last thing he had said, she chose to ignore that for the time being, preferring to stick instead to the parts that she could explain away with Muggle psychology. So surely, at least in the interests of Headship, it was up to her to be the bigger person and apologise for the way she had dug at him? They were both so obstinate that unless someone made the first move, they would never get anywhere.

Having settled all of this, (although she hoped she wasn't over-rationalising as much as it _sounded_ like she was), she sat up again, just as the door burst open and Sapphire ran in. She flung herself on to her bed (messing up the neatly-made covers), buried her head in her pillow, and screamed.

Lily stared. "What on earth…" she began. Sapphire lifted her head.

"ALL I wanted was a quiet breakfast. Just a quick bite to eat before I hit the books. I even got up early, so I would be able to eat in peace. But no, apparently that's too much to ask, since I was hounded by not one, not two, but _three_ idiots on the way down!" She punched her pillow violently, and Lily winced instinctively at the impact.

"What happened?" she asked, jumping as Sapphire laid into her pillow again.

"First off was Derek Balderwinde – he decided to wave mistletoe at me again. So I uh…I…erm…"

"Saffy, what did you do?" Lily demanded, slightly worried by the manic grin on her friend's face.

"I, uh, kneed him in a, uhm, sensitive place," Sapphire said. "Only lightly!" she protested, as Lily looked scandalised. "Well, maybe a bit more than lightly…ok, maybe a little harder than that…ok ok, it was hard!" She smirked unrepentantly. "He might have to go to Madam Pomfrey and re-evaluate his chances of becoming a father."

Lily sighed, deciding to let it pass. "Who else?" she asked, unsure whether she actually wanted to hear more or not.

"Let me see…" Sapphire considered. "Then Leon Wilkes came up to me in the Entrance Hall and asked if it was true that I was going out with Black, because if not, he wanted me to know that 'his love for me was undying.' So I slapped him." Sapphire grinned. "I'm getting rather good at this self-defence thing, aren't I?"

Lily shook her head. "You're impossible. Go on."

"So then I walked into the Great Hall, and I picked up a piece of toast, when someone goes, 'Is this place empty?' It was Keegan. I just said, 'It is now,' and got up and came here. And I'm not happy. I need food!"

Rolling her eyes, Lily stood up and started pulling out clothes. "Tell you what, I have some business to take care of, but since I'll be skipping breakfast too, wait for me in the common room, and we'll go down to the kitchens together. Okay?"

Sapphire nodded, and having extracted a promise from her friend that she would not physically harm any male for at least a few hours, Lily headed for the shower.

Once she was dressed and ready, with her cloak over her arm, just in case, she headed downstairs, wondering whether James would still be at breakfast, or would have gone off somewhere, and if so, how the hell she was to find him. Briefly, she thought of going to the boys' dorm and borrowing the Marauder's Map. She had found out about it last year, when she had accidentally walked in on the four boys putting the final touches to it. Against her better instincts, she had been sworn to secrecy about it, and knew only that it was some sort of magical map that showed people in Hogwarts, though she had a sneaking suspicion that it also provided aid in the acquirement of Butterbeer and sweets at times of celebration. Deciding not to bother, Lily reached the Portrait Hole just as it swung open to admit none other than Sirius.

"Hey Sirius," she said. "Have you seen James?"

Sirius focused on her, and it suddenly dawned on her that he was not looking remotely like his usual cheerful self – instead, his face was tired, but set, as though it were a mask.

"Weren't you at breakfast this morning?"

Lily shook her head, wondering inwardly what his cryptic manner was leading up to.

"So you don't know that…James' sister was – was killed?"

A bolt of shock shot through Lily like lightning. "Maddie?" she asked numbly.

Sirius shook his head too, looking almost annoyed with her. "No, no, James' _other_ sister. Alyssa."

Lily lifted her hands to her mouth, feeling almost numb from horror. "Oh no."

"Oh yes."

_I totally stamp all over the boy yesterday, and today his sister is killed. I am _so_ going to bad-girl hell when I die._

Recollecting herself, she asked hesitantly, "Where is he?"

Sirius' cool grey eyes studied her face before he answered. "I don't know. When I caught up with him, he said he wanted to be alone, and then disappeared."

"The map?" Lily asked, feeling her heart sinking.

Sirius shrugged. "He's put some sort of charm on himself so that the Map doesn't show him. Last I saw of him, he was heading outside."

"Right," Lily said. Making her mind up, she began putting her cloak on with shaky, unco-operative fingers. "Thanks for the help, Sirius."

"Where're you going?"

"Library," Lily said automatically, disregarding the fact that she had no books, and that a cloak was hardly what one would wear in a library. She brushed past him and climbed out.

Sirius gave her a few minutes, and then, hands in pockets, walked to the window and looked out.

He smiled grimly.

Despite the fact that the green verdure of summer had changed to the golden hues of autumn, there was no mistaking the red-haired girl walking swiftly away from the castle.

**-&-**

Lily tramped across the grass, pulling her cloak tight around her as the cold wind swirled about her, tugging both her hair and her clothes in every direction. Above her, clouds scudded across the overcast sky, and reddy-orange leaves spiraled down to rest on the dry, hard ground. She reached the edge of the lawns, and paused for a moment to debate where James would be. Quidditch pitch? The gardens? Driven by a gut instinct, she swivelled, and headed towards the lake, her footsteps crunching on the gravel walk.

And yes, there he was. A lone figure sitting huddled on a bench, messy black hair tossed by the same currents of air that rippled across the surface of the lake. He appeared to be looking out across the water, and from the back, his pose was both defiant and defeated. Lily continued to walk along the deserted path until she was only a few paces behind him. There she stopped, and waited.

There was a long silence.

Eventually, he spoke, words so quiet that Lily nearly missed them. "You can sit down, if you want."

Mutely accepting the invitation, Lily came forward and sat down beside him. She shivered as she came into contact with the cold wooden bench, and wrapped herself into her cloak even more.

"James, I'm – sorry."

There was no response, just the sound of the wind.

"Not just about your – your sister. About yesterday as well. I guess…we should talk about that later."

James gave a bark of a laugh. "S'ok. I've kind of got a better perspective on things now."

Lily twisted her hands in her lap, feeling the awkwardness of the situation all the more. "I – I didn't even know you _had_ another sister. When Sirius told me, I thought he was talking about Maddie."

James shrugged, his eyes fixed on a non-existent point on the water. "I have another sister, Alyssa. She's twenty-one. Just came out of Auror training."

"Oh." Lily did not know what to say. "How did she…" She paused, trying to find the most delicate way of putting it.

"Die?" James smiled humourlessly. "She was a field operative. She raided a suspected Death-Eater rally point, and they came back unexpectedly. She threw herself in front of someone else to protect them and was murdered."

Lily was silent, trying to absorb all this new information. She had never really imagined James as a person with a big family, with _sisters_; he had always been so arrogant that she had imagined, until she found out about Madeleine, that he was an only child. But then again, James had changed, and that was equivalent to everything changing. She looked again at James, trying to see him with two girls, and saw how hard he was trying to keep his face emotionless and impassive. His entire body was tense with the effort.

"James?" she asked gently. "Wouldn't it be better to, you know, talk about it?"

Again, there was no response. The wind was the only one that whispered back, ruffling both their hair.

Minutes passed.

Lily, calming herself with the quiet of her surroundings, realised suddenly that James was clenching and unclenching his hands, though his face was still turned to the horizon. The silence was almost stifling, and Lily wondered why she had come down here in the first place, when surely Sirius or Remus would have been of more help. Still she kept quiet, giving him the space to talk.

Finally, he let out a long breath, slowly. "I should have known this was coming," he said, almost harshly.

Lily was startled out of her silence. "What?" she asked.

James swallowed, keeping his face turned away from her. "When – Alyssa – just like I babysat Maddie, she had to look after me – our parents were busy a lot. Before Maddie came along, she and I were – really close. I helped her dye her doll's hair hot pink, she taught me where to find the hidden chocolate supplies." He closed his eyes again briefly, and for a moment the mask broke, and he looked so lost and child-like that Lily felt an almost maternal instinct to take him in her arms.

But of course, with the standards she set, that would be unacceptable.

So she gave him nothing but a sympathetic silence.

"When I was old enough, she sneaked me and her broom out once a week and – taught me to play Q-Quidditch." His voice caught in his throat. But then, all at once, as Lily turned a compassionate eye one him, the mask was back up in place, and his face was blank once more. His words seemed to come out with more of an effort.

"The summer after she left Hogwarts, Ally had a big fight with Mum and Dad. Even after she chose her NEWTs, they were hoping she would become a Healer or something. When she wanted to sign for Auror t-training, they weren't too happy. Even though Dad's an Auror, he didn't want her to get into the – the same…situations that he sometimes…ended up in. So they told her that it was too dangerous for her, and that she should think of all the worry she would make Mum go through." James shrugged, in a would-be-careless manner. "Ally did it anyway. Four years of Auror training. She l-loved it." His voice was low; so quiet that Lily could barely hear the words he spoke before the restless wind stole them away and threw them into the sky. "She loved the friends, the hours, the food…everything. She finished last summer." James breathed out, a long, held-in breath. "There was another big fight over the holidays. Mum said it wasn't too late, that she could still start something else, like Healing. Ally said she wasn't going to throw her four years away. So then Dad offered to get her a desk job…but she wouldn't listen. She was always stubborn." The ghost of what _should_ have been a smile flitted over his face. "She signed up and was cast as a field operative." For the first time, his carefully and rigidly controlled voice began to shake slightly.

"The day before she sent off the acceptance letter, she took me aside, and told me that – that there was a…risk that she could die." James' impassive face wavered a little more. "In fact, she said she probably would. They were so short of Aurors that they were sending anyone to do anything, left, right and center. So she…said she was telling me now, because Maddie was too young, and Mum and Dad would freak. He doesn't deal with the new operatives – he's in a different area. If anything – if anything _did_ happen to her, I should know that she loved us – all of us, and she hoped I would make a good eldest child, to take her place." His voice broke, and he looked even further away from Lily. "I've know this could happen since July. I shouldn't be doing this now."

"Yes you should," Lily said quietly. "James, it's perfectly alright to grieve for your sister."

James did not reply, and Lily could see that he was still fighting to maintain that infuriatingly impassive expression.

"Look at it a different way, James," she said. "Your sister loved you, and for the time that you were together, you were close. My sister wouldn't care if I was dead or alive."

For the first time, James angled his head back towards her. Although not looking directly into her face, at least it now seemed like some of her words had sunken in.

"Why?" he asked. "I thought you said she taught you when you were little."

Lily laughed bitterly. "Oh, Petunia and I were really close when we were young." She paused. "You see, my mother died when I was five, so Petunia was the one who helped me and played with me. A few years later, my father met another woman, and we got a stepmother. Annabel." Lily shuddered. "Even though Petunia and I had the odd disagreement, we banded together against _Her_. She had this thing about children being seen and not heard – maybe she felt that we took away time from Dad that she wanted. Dad was still the same loving person he always has been, but Annabel was so controlling – in a bad way, that my father never realised what she was doing to us." Lily's lower lip trembled for a moment. "She used to mock me for being 'Daddy's little girl'. So I stopped running to Dad for help, and I ran for Petunia instead." Calming herself, Lily smiled ruefully. "That is, until I got my Hogwarts letter. Dad wanted what was best for me, and Annabel was only too happy to see the back of me, but Petunia thought I was abandoning her to Annabel on her own, and gave me an ultimatum – my sister, or magic." She shrugged. "I picked magic; I lost my sister. Now, if she talks to me at all, it's always laced with a few insults."

She looked out onto the opposite side of the lake for a few moments in quiet reflection, and then came back to earth with a bump.

"Value what you had with your sister, James," she mumbled, almost inaudibly. "It was special. Not all relationships are like that."

Again, there was another long silence, in which neither person could quite manage to look at the other.

When James spoke, his voice trembled even more.

"I'm – going to…miss her."

Looking at him, Lily saw his face, screwed up as if with pain. And finally, she understood what it was that he had been fighting against all along.

Himself.

"James," she said gently, reaching out to turn his face towards hers. "It's okay to cry."

James shook his head and resumed his gaze out into the distance. "I – I have to stay…" he said tightly, in a choked voice. "For – for Mum. And Dad. And M-Maddie."

Lily felt her own throat close up. She sighed. "_James_," she said softly. "You _are_ strong. You're strong and you're so stubborn – in a good way – that I know you'll get through anything. You're persistent, and you'll keep going." Following a natural instinct, she gave in to the impulse and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the soft fabric of his expensive cloak beneath her cheek. "What else would have kept you asking me out since third year?" She laughed serenely. "That's quite a feat, since we both know I wasn't the nicest person to you." She sighed again. "Don't kid yourself, James. You're the strongest friend I have."

There was a pause. After a while, Lily felt a sudden warm weight, and she realised that it was James, lying his own head on hers. They stayed like that, two figures in a bleak and lonely world, and Lily drifted off into a peaceful daze. She remembered where she was when a drop of wetness fell onto her lips, and darted her tongue out, only to realise that it was salty.

He was crying.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** What can I say except to once again apologise profusely for my extreme slowness in updating? When I say sixth form's a btch, I am NOT joking – I don't seem to have any time any more for ANYTHING other than work, and I only ever seem to make it onto the net for like, five minutes at a time, which is not long enough to update L Anyway, please be nice and click the Review button below, so that you can make my day that little bit brighter :pouts: please?


	23. Aftermath

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thank you guys all SO MUCH for your reviews – it's nice to know I haven't been forgotten! I would do review thank-yous, but if this fic gets taken down again for anything, it won't be going up again, so I won't risk it. **

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

Chapter 23: Aftermath

The rest of that day, and the next, passed in a vague haze for Lily. It did not take long, after James had returned to the castle, for people to notice that he was quieter than usual, as were all the Marauders, and how the mischievous sparkle in his hazel eyes seemed to have faded out. People began to ask questions, and inevitably, someone (who was neither a Marauder, nor Lily) gave them answers. After that came the sympathetic, subtly intrusive questioning, the insincere condolences, the treat-the-bereaved-as-though-they-might-break voices, and the gossip of what had happened. There were some who were honestly sympathetic – Emma and Sapphire were both incredibly sorry for James and offered him their own simple words of comfort, once Lily had got permission from him to explain why she had been away for so long that morning. On the other end of the scale were the Marauder "groupies", as Lily had now officially dubbed them, who all decided to wear nothing but black to mark their sorrow. (Little did they know that they would all be sent straight back to change by Professor McGonagall, come Monday morning).

Was this what it meant to be popular? Lily wondered. To have a million people at your beck and call, but to be almost alone when tragedy struck; to have your every move analysed and interpreted in a thousand ways, nine hundred and ninety-nine of which were not good? She could not condemn the Marauders though; Sirius, Remus and Peter stuck staunchly by their friend, trying to keep his spirits up, and almost never left his side.

James himself appeared to be holding up as best as he could be expected to. He was obviously trying to be as normal and unaffected as possible, and appeared indifferent to the talk spreading through Hogwarts' stone halls of what was going on; yet sometimes, Lily could see how badly he just wanted to be alone, to be out of the public eye, and how he occasionally lapsed from the cheerful tone he was attempting, into a moody silence. She noticed, and she took it into account. She saw too, the newfound warmth and respect in his gaze when she sent off countless Marauder groupies, when she took on double Head duties to allow him to get more sleep (though the shadows under his eyes were proof negative of how well he managed _that_), or when he saw the way that she treated him completely normally, as opposed to treating him like a porcelain figure marked 'Handle With Care.' She spent much of her time doing homework in the common room that weekend, near the Marauders, with half an eye on James, while Emma and Sapphire worked with their backs to Sirius and Remus.

On Sunday night, Lily fell into bed feeling incredibly exhausted, more mentally than physically. Her head was whirling with confusion, worry, and she was dead to the world a few minutes after she hit the pillow, thankful for the eight hours of sleep she had been granted the chance of.

But sleep did not come to the Head Girl's bed that night. She tossed and turned, woken fitfully by the slightest noises. Her dreams, when she _was_ asleep, were not of a forgiving nature either; she dreamed of Annabel. Not the brown-haired woman who was her step-mother did she see, however, but instead an Annabel who was double the height of a man, with hair that seemed alive, a mass of writhing snakes, and spittle that flew from her wide, red mouth. She came after Lily with an unceasing, ponderous tread, not running, as Lily was doing; and yet Lily knew, with a sick certainty, that eventually she would catch up to her; would seek her out with those dreadful, bloodshot grey eyes, just when she thought it was safe. Again and again the mocking laugh that had instilled both terror and shame in Lily so many times as a child, rang maliciously across the land of her nightmares.

'_Aww_,' the voice that she remembered so well jeered. '_Is wittle Lily running to Daddy again, with the weeniest of problems? What a baby!_'

Over and over again, the taunting words echoed through her head, and she saw, in all the clear-headedness of older understanding, the many incidents where Annabel had forced her away from her father, caused her to lose several friends, endlessly dug at her. Many times did she wake from her turbulent dreams, shaking and sweating, with cold tears running down her face.

Consequently, when morning finally dawned, Lily was in no mood to be shaken awake by Emma, after ignoring her alarm clock. She got up, heavy-eyed and walked to the bathroom as if drugged, much the worse for her broken night. The thought of Transfiguration that day served only to depress her further, and she packed her bag, viciously throwing her textbooks in. A headache had developed, and she wondered dully if a pair of fairies with sledgehammers had taken up residence just above her eyes. Ignoring Sapphire's suggestion of the hospital wing, and knowing full well that she both looked and felt awful, Lily followed her friends out of the dorm, gave the Marauders a weak, tired smile in response to their greetings in the common room, and then decided, halfway down to the Great Hall, that she was not in the mood for breakfast. Lagging behind Emma and Sapphire, she quickly dodged them, and set off through a series of passageways that led her to none other than the Heads' Rooms.

The room calmed her as soon as she entered it; it exuded an air of peacefulness which settled her mind, and the flickering flames of the ever-burning fire invited to her to sit down on one of the large, squashy sofas. She rested her head on her arm, and checked her watch. _Plenty of time before Transfiguration_, she thought foggily. The dancing tongues of flame lulled her, and her head pounded so much…

Without warning, she fell asleep.

**-&-**

"Lily?"

Gradually, Lily began to feel a cautious, but persistent shaking. _Earthquake?_ she thought mistily, and then she was conscious of the fact that it was _her _who was being shaken, on the shoulder. With this realization, she lifted her head, startled, and found herself almost nose-to-nose with James. He leapt back, alarmed. It was then that she realised that she must have fallen asleep exactly as she was, sitting upright on the sofa with her chin on her hand, and her bag lying forgotten on the side.

"Finally," James said. "I've been trying to wake you up for fifteen minutes."

"What's the time?" Lily asked faintly.

James looked at his watch. "Six forty-five."

With a cry of horror, Lily sprang up. "Oh God, I can't believe I slept through an entire day of classes. Every single professor is going to _kill _me …"

A shadow passed over James' face, and as flustered as she was, Lily did not miss it. "Sorry," she apologised breathlessly. "It's just, oh _how_ could I have let this happen? I've got to go find Emma, and then copy up the notes, and do the homework, and apologise to all the teachers; oh, McGonagall's going to skin me _alive_…"

"Emma's outside," James said. He had fallen back into his old pose of leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "She said something about Dumbledore."

Lily groaned. "That's it then. I wonder if they've ever demoted a Head Girl for missing all her lessons before? At least I'll go down in history as the first if they haven't. But it was an accident, I swear, I just had a bad night…but that's a really stupid excuse, no one'll ever buy that…"

Seeing that she was going nowhere, James steered her over to the door, handing her bag to her as he went. "You're overreacting," he said firmly. "If they can make _me_ Head Boy, with my history, then they are _not_ going to demote you for one day's mistake. Go talk to Emma, she's got all your stuff, I think." He pushed her out, and climbed after her.

Coming face to face with her best friend, Emma raised her eyebrows. "You took forever." She looked at James. "What was she _doing _in there?"

James shrugged. "Sleeping. I think that's what she'd been doing all day."

Lily nodded fervently, and Emma rolled her eyes. "We've been _looking _for you all day, Lils. We looked everywhere – it was only after Charms that Sapphire said you might be in here. But then since James is the only other person who can get in, we spent an hour and a half looking for him, because he was off wandering around alone outside."

Lily looked at James, who met her eyes, but then looked away hurriedly. "See you later," he said awkwardly, and walked off.

Lily turned back to Emma. "What's this about Professor Dumbledore?"

Emma put a hand to her head. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that…McGonagall came to Herbology, asking where you were, and when I didn't know, she said to tell you that Dumbledore wanted to see you at seven-fifteen tonight."

Lily felt her heart sink. "Ok then. No matter what James says about his nowhere-near-spotless track record, it's kind of obvious they're going to fire me. I wonder how they'll do it…maybe they'll yell at me first…no, knowing Professor McGonagall, she'll probably give me a lecture on setting an example – but it was only once! Maybe if I just tell them that I'll make up for it by doing detention – but they'll never accept that as suitable for this! I have to be the worst person in the world – what other kind misses all her classes in one day – actually, scratch worst, I have to be the most _pathetic_ person – most other people bunk off for fun, I just _fell asleep_. I'm so pathetic, AND stupid, AND irresponsible, AND -"

Emma took her friend's arm and dragged her off down the corridor. "Lily, you're babbling," she said calmly. "Come on, at this rate, you won't even make it up to his office. Let's go."

Lily let herself be walked up to the gargoyle, and Emma left her there, having given her a five-minute lecture on why she was NOT going to get demoted. Feeling ill, and only slightly reassured by Emma's decided tones, Lily ascended the moving staircase, and knocked on the door of Dumbledore's office.

A voice said, "Come in," and she pushed the door open.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?" she asked nervously. Dumbledore turned around from the fireplace.

"Ah, Miss Evans," he said. "Take a seat." He gestured at a chair opposite and sat down at his desk. Lily slipped into the chair, unsure of what was going to happen next.

Dumbledore placed his elbows on the desk, and looked at her so soberly, that despite both James' and Emma's reassurances, Lily was perfectly certain that she was going to lose everything she had worked for over the last six years. She started forward.

"Sir, I honestly didn't mean to miss all my classes today, it was just a mistake – I fell asleep by accident, I swear it won't happen again -"

Dumbledore held up a hand to halt her flow. "Yes, I heard about that," he said, eyes twinkling. "It seems that several professors were concerned that one of their most dedicated students had disappeared without explanation, particularly when none of her friends knew why. Rest assured, your position is safe. No, I asked you here for a very different reason – or perhaps not so different after all." He stood up and walked away from her, towards a window. Lily sighed quietly with relief, and got up too, to take a few steps towards the door, expecting him to ask her to reschedule a Prefect meeting, or something of that sort. There was silence for a few moments, until Lily thought that Professor Dumbledore might have forgotten her, and she cleared her throat loudly to remind him of her presence.

Dumbledore turned around. "Last night, Miss Evans, I received a visitor who wished me to ask you something, and to get permission for you to do something should you agree. This person felt that I would possibly be more persuasive that they were. After a little convincing myself, I agreed to ask for them." His eyes were twinkling again, but Lily could not understand how he could look so merry and yet so solemn.

"Mr. Potter wishes to invite you as a guest to his sister's funeral this weekend. I have given my permission for you to go."

For a moment, Lily thought she had heard wrong. She grasped blindly behind her, felt the solidness of a chair, and collapsed into it. "What?" she said weakly. "Of course I can't go."

"I have already granted permission to Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew to accompany their friend to the ceremony. As he put it, there now remains only you to persuade."

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "I can't go! I'm not family, and I'm hardly a close friend – I'm not going! How could I?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Very well, then," he said. He looked up at the ceiling as if lost in thought, steepling his fingers. "As I see it, there is only one option left to you then."

"What's that?" Lily asked uneasily.

"You shall attend the funeral in a Head Girl capacity," Dumbledore said, looking very much pleased with his idea.

"Wh-what?" Lily gasped. "NO!"

"Now, Miss Evans, I am sure you do not intend to neglect your duties like this," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "You will represent the students of Hogwarts. You can accompany me to the ceremony, and to the small gathering they are holding afterwards, as the Head Girl. I am sure that is a suitable arrangement for you?"

'"Wh – Bu – That's not fair!" Lily protested.

"I think you will find that it is perfectly acceptable." Beneath the calm and dignified tones of authority, Lily could have sworn she could detect a hint of amusement in the old man's voice. "This is purely a duty of the Head Girl, which she is required to fulfil. That is all there is to it."

"But I can't get there or anything!" Lily clutched at her last remaining straw, hoping it would make her point.

"That is a simple problem to resolve," Dumbledore replied, smiling benignly. "You will Floo from my office with me, and when I leave, I shall bring you." He sat down at his desk. "I suggest you consider the matter as settled."

It was evident that the conversation was at an end. Lily opened her mouth to protest, then thought better of it and left the office. She made her way back to the common room, mind reeling. Distracted, she wandered down the empty corridors. One part of her, a very much used-to-getting-its-own-way part, was seriously tempted to go and find James, and yell at him. Eventually, though, Lily had to accept that considering his recent loss, and the fact that he had actually bothered to ask her (indirectly) to a family occasion, it was hardly appropriate to do so. Instead, she contented herself with muttering a few well-chosen expressions under her breath as she neared the Fat Lady.

Entering the common room, she scanned it, and spotted Emma working on some homework. She pulled a chair over and began to copy up notes from the classes she had missed, all the while telling Emma what had happened. Emma listened as she worked, adding a few exclamations here and there, but seemed inclined to take much the same view as Dumbledore had, for some inexplicable reason.

Just then, there was a big commotion at the portrait hole, and Lily turned around to see Remus and Sirius enter, with a collection of…birds? Yes, birds. Sirius had a turkey under one arm, and a chicken in the other, both of who were attempting to peck him. Remus held a perch, on which a large snowy owl was sitting, glaring balefully at everyone with eyes of amber. A strangely docile peacock was strutting proudly at his feet, looking very pleased at all the attention as everyone sprang aside when it opened its tail feathers. The chicken squawked as someone accidentally hit its head, and the turkey stopped pecking Sirius long enough to aim for the unfortunate person.

Both boys seemed completely undisturbed by the amount of attention they were attracting. They were discussing something together, and completely ignoring those around them. Lily turned back to Emma, who was watching the two with a mixture of amusement and wistfulness, and was about to say something to her, when Emma stiffened, eyes fixed on a point behind, and then looked down quickly.

There was only one person who could cause this.

Acting fast, Lily swivelled back, feeling as though she was a spectator at a tennis match.

_The ball's in your court, Remus._

Remus did indeed appear to be turning away from their direction rather hastily. He said something to Sirius, who was having difficulties trying to stop the chicken and turkey – they had apparently decided to band together to peck him simultaneously. Sirius nodded, and Remus hung the perch on his arm. Slowly making his way to the stairs, Sirius gave his friend a Look, which Lily was at a loss to interpret.

She did not have long to wonder, however, before she realised that Remus himself was heading over to them, a look of steely determination on his face.

"Lily, Emma – can I talk to you for a moment?"

Lily nodded, but Emma jumped up.

"Oh, God, look at the time. I should really go to bed; I can finish this tomorrow, I'm sure." She piled her books together as fast as she could.

"Em -" Lily began, but Emma ignored her. Remus could only stand there and watch as she rolled up her pieces of parchment and placed them on top of the books. She turned around to get her bag, and all at once, there was a loud clatter. She had knocked against the table in her haste, and all her work and tidily piled books had fallen to the floor. Darting a glance at Remus, she bent down and hurriedly picked the parchment up, pushing them roughly into her bag. After a moment, Remus bent down and piled the books together, before handing them to her. She gave him a desultory look as she took them off him. Standing up, she hesitated for a moment, before saying in a falsely cheery voice, "Night, Lils." To Remus, she gave only another glance, her eyes cold, and a brief nod. Lily stared, open-mouthed, at her friend's lack of manner as she walked away, and Remus' eyes were stormy.

And then, he did something totally unexpected.

For the second time in his life, Remus Lupin lost control.

"Wait," he called after her, in such a powerful voice that Emma did actually halt on the steps, her back still turned.

"_What_ is your problem?" Remus demanded roughly. Emma looked back at him for a moment; her mouth opened, as if to say something – and then she shook her head and carried on climbing.

"Fine!" Remus yelled. "Fine! If that's the game you want to play, Emma, then let's play it!" He stared angrily at her retreating back, his cheeks flushed and his body tense. "You mean _nothing_ to me now! _Absolutely nothing_, you hear me? Forget you!"

There was no reply; only the sight of Emma's black robes whipping around the corner. Remus turned to face the staring common room.

"What're you looking at?" he growled menacingly.

Immediately, everyone's head snapped back down, and Remus looked at Lily, pushing his sandy hair out of his handsome face. She was shocked at the almost beast-like vehemence in his eyes.

"Uh…" she said, scrambling up to throw things into her bag, anxious both to avoid Remus in this mood, and to find her friend. "Sorry Remus, I have to go talk to Emma." With that, she fled upstairs, calling a "Goodnight!" over her shoulder.

**-&-**

She slammed her dormitory door with a considerable amount of feeling – mostly anger directed at Emma. Looking around, she saw the brown-haired girl putting her crumpled and messy books and parchment neatly away in her area.

"What _is_ your problem, Em?" she asked, stalking over to her.

For the third time that evening, Emma stiffened. Lily sat down beside her and continued to talk.

"I know Saffy made me promise not to force you into anything, but I don't care any more. What're you going to do? I mean, I'm sorry, but you're playing with him, and it's worse because you left him hanging – you never said anything for definite one way or another." She paused, wondering if Emma could even hear her; she was still restacking her books slowly, with infinite care. "Do you really…_abhor_ him that much, Em? 'Cause you're going to have to make a decision…now."

Silence. A slight rustle as Emma pushed aside her curtain a little to allow her to carry on laying out her trunk contents with mathematical precision. Just as Lily was beginning to give up hope, she got a reply.

"I've made my decision," Emma said softly. "I just don't think it's going to happen."

"What is it?" Lily sat up straight, attention caught by this news.

Emma closed her trunk carefully, and looked at Lily. "I like Remus. A lot." She returned her concentration to folding her clothes. "But it'll never work out. My family…they wouldn't be happy to hear about it. And besides, you heard him just now."

Lily shook her head. "Then why do you act so…cold to him? And yeah, he's angry, Em, but I think he's angry _because_ he likes you, and he thinks you've rejected him."

"He hates me, Lily. Don't try to deny it. And for some part, I probably deserve it. It's better like it is now. I'll just pretend to hate him, and he'll be happy with someone else."

Again, Lily shook her head. "I don't think you understand, Em," she said earnestly. "_You're_ the only person who'll make him happy – why else has he waited for you since fourth year?"

"It's better this way," Emma repeated.

Lily lost what little patience she had. "Better _how_ exactly? Are you really going to go back to how you were before – with you hiding your feelings until they got too much for you? Can you really kid yourself that that'll work, or are you just thick?"

Emma's voice, when she answered, was a lot angrier than before. "You're not me, Lily, so why are you trying to make my choices for me? You think it's easy to sacrifice him – any hope of an 'us'?"

Lily's expression softened. "That's exactly what he called you. A sacrifice for being what he is." She paused, the memory of his saddened face contrasting with the hard anger she had just seen. "Please, pleasedon't do this, Em," she begged. Inwardly, she sighed at what a go-between she was being reduced to.

_They better thank me for this later – if there _is _a later._

Emma shrugged. She had climbed onto her bed, and was lying spread-eagled.

Exhaling, Lily got up. "Okay, fine," she said pleadingly. "Will you at least talk to him before you make up your mind completely? He deserves to know where he stands – you owe it to him."

Emma nodded non-committally. "Just don't expect me to -"

The door swung open, and Callie flounced in, giving the two girls a dismissive glance.

"We aren't worthy of her Highness' attention," Emma mumbled, causing Lily to snort with laughter. Their conversation had obviously come to an end – she just hoped that it would eventually be productive.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** sheepish Uhm...hi everyone. Yeah, I know. You thought I'd fallen off the face of the earth, story clutched firmly in hand, right? Well, I didn't. The first term of sixth form's been REALLY hectic, and I've kind of let academic and school commitments take over all the other aspects of my life, resulting in me becoming a very sad, antisocial person, and I need to go back to balancing it all out. So as soon as module exams are finished in January, I will post more regularly, get this story up to where it was before, and continue it to the end, because I owe all my faithful reviewers that, at least. Anyway, hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter...review? Please?


	24. Funeral Voices

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 24: Funeral Voices **

On Saturday morning, Lily woke up with a strong sense of foreboding, although it took her a few moments to remember why. As she got up and walked quietly past her sleeping roommates, she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this would be a very long day.

Having showered, she came back to the room and stared contemplatively at her open trunk, with piles of clothes thrown messily around inside. She had spent two hours the night before, trying to find something - _anything_ - that was suitable to wear to a funeral. She had only ever gone to one once, when she was eight, for a cousin of her father's…and her own mother's, of course…she blinked furiously as images rushed unbidden into her mind, and closed her eyes, trying frantically to simultaneously shut them out and wipe the lone tear from her face. It was an experience she worked hard not to think about.

Returning to the issue of clothing, she had gone to bed frustrated at her lack of wardrobe. Now, surveying the mess before her, she debated on what to do. One option was to wake up her friends and ask if they owned anything, but she doubted they would. The other was to change the clothes she owned by charming them. It was a practice she saw carried out regularly by Serena and Callie, to give the appearance of a new outfit for every day, but she was much more sceptical about doing it to her own clothing. Still, it was the only choice that appeared feasible, she picked out an outfit: a white tank top, a long-sleeved white net top to go over it, and a long skirt, and laid them out on her bed. Screwing her eyes up in concentration, she chanted the spell and watched as her clothes slowly faded from their various colours to black. Relieved, she pulled them on, added a pair of tights and shoes, and then walked over to the full-length mirror. She stared at herself critically. It seemed alright - fairly conservative and adult, though she had a few qualms about the neck of the lace top, which was shallow, but very wide.

_Oh well_. Shrugging, she turned her attention to her hair, and decided in the end to leave it loose, due to her limited time. Hurriedly putting on some make-up, she left the room, grabbing a bag as she went.

She made her way to Dumbledore's office in record time, feeling as if her stomach had twisted over on itself. Just as she was nearing the gargoyle, she saw three figures approaching from the opposite direction. Stopping short, she stood still and waited, and a few seconds later, Sirius, Remus and Peter were in front of her. All were dressed impeccably in black suits, their hair neat and tidy, their faces fresh. They greeted one another quietly, and Lily gave the password that brought the gargoyle to life.

"Where's James?" Lily asked, as it sprang aside and they climbed onto the moving staircase.

"He left last night," Sirius said from behind her. "To be with his family. He'll be glad you came, though. He was worried in case you decided not to go at the last minute. But you look nice," he added approvingly.

Refusing to deny that the idea had crossed her mind more than once, Lily simply contented herself with a "Thanks," and the allowed the silence to carry her up to the top. As they knocked on the door and trooped in, Dumbledore looked up.

"Ah," he said. "Good morning Miss Evans, Mr Black, Mr Lupin, Mr Pettigrew. I am glad to see you all in good time, and looking spruce." He too was looking sober, dressed as he was in black robes, with a silver clasp at the top. "Now, if we are all ready -"

"A moment please, Dumbledore," came a lazy voice from the side. Lily turned to see a wizard with a pointed beard, wearing the Slytherin colours, watching them from his picture. She did not have time to wonder who he was, before she heard Sirius let out a low hiss from beside her.

"_You_," he muttered.

Dumbledore turned to face the portrait. "Yes, Phineas?" he asked politely.

"_Terribly_ sorry to interrupt," Phineas drawled, "but I have a message for the black sheep of the Black family." He looked at Sirius. "Your mother wishes me to say that although you have a habit of consorting with the worst company," here he looked disdainfully at Lily and Remus, "she expects you to uphold the Black honour at this…_function_, that you are going to. She also says that should you set foot in the household again, it must be with purer morals than you have at present."

Sirius' expression was twisted. "You think I – you think I give a _damn_ what that hag says?" he spat angrily. "Go tell her to stuff her message up her arse, because I've got no intention of _setting foot_ in that dump. The only reason she even bothered to send a message was because this is a _pureblood_ function, isn't it?"

"Language, Mr Black,'' Dumbledore said gently. Remus placed a calming hand on Sirius' shoulder as Lily stared in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter, Dumbledore," Phineas said languorously. "I understand how…_self-absorbed_ young people are." He gave Lily and Remus one more distasteful look, and then drifted sideways out of his painting, his words floating back to them. "…_always was over-independent_…"

Lily was still staring at Sirius as though she had never seen him. Before she had time to comment, however, Dumbledore moved forward.

"Since there are several of us," he said, "I felt a Portkey would be a cleaner and more convenient way of travel." He held out a broken six-pack holder. "Take hold please."

Everyone grasped a part of the plastic, and a few seconds later, Lily felt a jerk behind her navel. Dumbledore's office disappeared in a swirl of colour, and instead they were standing on a dirt-beaten path in the middle of a clearing, with bare oak trees all around them. Dumbledore dusted himself off, and then led the way out of the trees, the four student following behind him. Despite herself, Lily could not help sneaking another look at Sirius' pale face. He noticed.

"Yeah," he said in a low voice. "Now you know what _my_ family's like."

Doing her best to appear unruffled, Lily merely shrugged. "You're obviously different."

Sirius made no reply, and they walked on in silence until their reached a tall grey wall with a pair of black gates. They looked forbidding, despite the wintery sunlight hitting them. Dumbledore pushed them open and strode through them, allowing the four teenagers to pass behind him. They walked now on a grassy field, with grey headstones dotted here and there in no particular order.

A few moments later, Lily caught her first glance of a gathering of people, standing under a huge oak tree. Dumbledore left the path and began threading his way through grass and gravestones until he reached the people standing there.

Taking a look around as she took her place beside Sirius, Lily wondered at the beauty of the spot. Although the tree was almost bare, there was a wonderful reddy-gold carpet of leaves underfoot, and she could see that in summer, the branches that stretched up into the sky would be covered with leaves, and would cast a pretty green light over the spot. Tiny withered stems were all around the base of the tree, evidence that there were obviously many flowers to be seen here in spring. The tree itself seemed to support much life- a yellow-speckled ivy had twisted itself around the dull brown bark, and looking up, Lily was almost sure she could see a squirrel's hole. _I've never seen such a nice place to say goodbye_, she thought wistfully, remembering for a brief instant the small old churchyard where she had watched her mother be laid to rest.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by the whisperings around her, and she realised that they were attracting quite a lot of attention. Several people were looking at the four teenagers, and she could hear the muted whispers.

"…students at Hogwarts…"

"…friends of her brother James…"

Sirius, Remus and Peter appeared to be free of unease about what was going on around them; they were standing in silence, and it dawned on Lily that they would probably know a few of these people, if they had visited James' house for parties before. She looked around again at the people gathered there. Most were adults in black robes or suits; family and friends, she supposed. Several of them had a hint of James' feature here and there - one old lady had his sharp hazel eyes, and another man's hair, though pale brown, was as messy as James' had always been. James himself and his family did not appear to be there. A few teenagers or young children were interspersed among the adults, and Lily assumed that they were cousins, or children of family friends. A square-jawed girl with carrot-orange hair, who looked slightly older than Lily, nodded curtly at her, and Lily attempted a weak half-smile as she looked hurriedly away. Turning her gaze, she saw a group of young adults, two girls and two boys, standing together, and it struck her that perhaps these were Alyssa's friends. They certainly looked around her age - the age that she would have been - and seemed more solemn and quiet that the others; and the man standing beside them could pass quite well for a Muggle army sergeant, relentlessly drilling recruits through assault courses.

Lily sighed. The sun had gone back behind clouds, and it seemed to have dampened the already sober mood. She felt a small pressure on her arm, and looked discreetly sideways to see Remus, Sirius and Peter all giving her a slight, grim-yet-friendly smile, as if to cheer her out of hr gloom. She smiled back, and then stared at the hole in front of her, waiting to swallow the coffin, which would be borne in almost as a sacrificial offering. Another hopeless sacrifice to plead for the end of these evil times.

Finally, footsteps sounded on gravel, and as one, everyone turned to see a handsome mahogany coffin being carried towards them, on the shoulders of six pall-bearers dressed in black. Lily's breath hitched as they made their slow way towards them, and the people present parted like water to give them clear access to the freshly-dug grave. As they turned towards them, she saw for the first time, the four people walking behind the coffin.

It was James' family.

His father, a tall man dressed in a black suit, was walking with a woman who must have been his mother. Mr Potter looked very like his son - same messy black hair and hazel eyes, and much the same build. He even walked in a similar way. It was like looking at an older version of James himself.

The woman, James mother, looked wan and pale, but her face was set, a calm expression on it which was at the same time heartrending. She was just slightly shorter than her husband. Her hair was a deep, deep auburn, almost brown in its intensity, and her eyes were grey, framed with long lashes and set in a delicate, heart-shaped face. She was wearing a simple black dress, understated, but obviously finely made.

Behind them walked none other than James, and a girl who was obviously Maddie. Lily took a moment, as they approached, to observe him. He was dressed, like everyone else, in a black suit, with a crisp white shirt beneath. His hair was its usual mess, but his face was almost stonily composed, and as pale as a ghost. His eyes were fixed on the coffin in front, and despite the occasion, Lily could not help but notice how all four of the Marauders could clean up so well. Apparently she was not the only one to think so - she could hear sharp intakes of breath from several girls around, and see their raised eyebrows from the corner of her eye as they spotted him.

Maddie, walking beside him, seemed to be dwarfed by her brother's shadow, although in reality, as Lily would find out later, she was only slightly shorter than Lily herself. Her black hair was long enough to lie on her shoulders, and her head was down, though as they advanced, Lily could just about make out the tear tracks on her cheeks.

Finally, the pallbearers reached the grave and the coffin was set down. The Potter family lined up in a row next to it, and then James' mother stepped forward, a wreath of pure white roses and a square object in her hands. She laid the wreath onto the lid, the object was stood next to it, and Lily recognised it as a wizarding photograph. A pretty young woman was the focus, her auburn hair glinting under the sun as she stood on the grass with a huge house behind her. She appeared to be laughing at someone behind the camera, and as Lily watched, she stuck her tongue out merrily. Squinting, Lily could just about make out her clear hazel eyes dancing as she smoothed her top over her jeans and stuck her tongue out again. With a shock, Lily realised that this must have been Alyssa just last summer - she looked around the right age. Before she had time to study the picture closer, a man whom she had not noticed stepped forward.

"I welcome you all to the funeral of Alyssa Caroline Potter," he said, in a deep, soothing voice. "We are gathered here today to remember her in life, and commemorate her in death. She was a wonderful person, full of life, and her presence will be missed by all." He looked around, as if to check that no one had fallen asleep at his monotones, and then resumed his speech. "We have several people today who have consented to share their thoughts with us this morning, so that her memory will be treasured forever." Taking out a piece of parchment, he placed a pair of silver glasses on his nose and read off: "May I call Sergeant M. Wood forward please?"

The hard-faced man stepped forward from the group of teenagers. He cleared his throat, then looked around at all the people.

"I was Recruit Potter's - or rather, Alyssa's - instructor for four years at Alnwood Academy," he said. His tones were rough, the voice of someone more used to giving than taking orders. "Let me tell you now, that I am not a kind man. I do what needs to be done to force young people into showing talent. If they have any for Auror training, by the time I'm done with them, they will be showing it. At Alnwood, we aim to produce fine Aurors, with resourcefulness, cunning, determination, and courage."

_Is he supposed to be a walking advert or something?_ Lily found herself wondering.

"Alyssa _did _have talent. She was resourceful, and determined to get through whatever she had to do. _That_ was what got her through Alnwood. She was one hundred percent dedicated to her aim, no matter what anyone else said, and I know that she did face problems at the beginning." His gaze was hard and penetrating.

"Don't fool yourself into thinking Alyssa Potter was a perfect person, or a perfect Auror. She wasn't. She had her faults, and in a sense, I could say that it was a fault that killed her. But I won't. Because not all faults are as bad as the word suggests. And I'm sure that Recruit Longbottom, who is now in hospital, is grateful for his life, which she saved." He paused. "Alyssa was hardworking, and I'm sure that the rest of the family will follow in her footsteps, whichever career path they choose." His eyes lingered on James, who, pale as he already as, met him with a straightforward gaze, chin up.

Sergeant Wood stepped back, and the officiator cleared his throat. "Andrew Marx?"

A tall, brown-haired boy stepped forward from the group of four, his chin trembling slightly. His eyes reminded Lily of Remus'; they were calm and gentle, but with a secret fire raging in the depths.

"I -" He stopped, his voice caught in his throat. "I'm speaking on behalf of myself, Jenny, Rebecca and Jack. We were Alyssa's best friends, from school through to Alnwood, and into the field." He swallowed. "I think we can all agree that Ally knew how to have a good time. There was never a dull moment when she was around - she could inject humour into any moment, and it would brighten up your day. She always had a caring word to say if you were feeling down, and always had a spare moment to listen to problems." He swallowed again. "I think what I'm trying to say is that Ally was one of a kind. No one will ever replace her." As Lily studied his face, she could see his terse jaw, and the way that his eyes glistened. "I can guarantee you that."

He looked down at the ground, and looked up again, a shaky smile on his face. "When Ally's parents first asked us to talk, we put our heads together to try to think of what to say. I think, so far, I've covered almost everything we came up with. But now I'm going to say something unplanned." His smile, weak as it was, wavered, and died. "I was in love with Alyssa."

There was silence. Lily knew she couldn't have been the only person staring - almost everyone was. The three young people behind had their mouths hanging open.

"I liked her right the way from our third year at Hogwarts, but it took me four years to admit it to myself. I hid my feelings from everyone, including my closest friends, and I made up excuses about why I hadn't told her - that I didn't want to ruin our friendship; that she had enough to handle without me adding a burden. The truth was, I was too stubborn to face my fear of her rejection, so she never knew. And now she never will." He suddenly seemed to stand straighter, and looked taller, his chin up.

"So, as much as this is a memorial speech, it's also a warning." He looked around the crowd. "Never be afraid to show your feelings to the one you love, no matter what the consequences. Because the time may come when it's too late, and all you can do is regret what could have been."

Lily tore her eyes off his still form, her mind still reeling from his confession, and looked up to see James' eyes on her, an intense gaze in them. Embarrassed, and afraid of what she could read, Lily looked away. Andrew stepped closer to the coffin, and looked down. "I'm so sorry, Ally," he said softly. "I'm so sorry I never told you how I really felt." A solitary tear made its way down his cheek. "I will always love you, and miss you." Silently, he let go of a blood-red rose, where it fell at the foot of the photo, and walked back to his friends, head bowed.

People were still staring at Andrew, where he stood, and although the three around him still looked shell-shocked, one of the girls still gave him a comforting hug.

Again, the officiator stepped forward. "And finally, on behalf of the Potter family, James Potter."

This was a surprise. James had not said anything about speech-making; but then again, he had not said anything about the _funeral _in the first place.

James fumbled in his pocket for a piece of crumpled parchment, which he skimmed over briefly. "Well," he said, with the barest hint of a sad smile. "It looks like everyone's taken all of the stuff I intended to say, so this is going to have to come straight from the heart. Sorry if it…sounds a bit stupid." He looked at the photo for a few seconds, as if for inspiration.

"Alyssa was a lot of things to a lot of people. She was a daughter, a sister, a friend, and aunt, a cousin, and, occasionally, a girlfriend. I know she sometimes felt under pressure to do all those things well, and 'set an example' to all of us who were younger than her, but I think she managed just fine. To me, Ally was my big sister, the one who taught me how to take cookies when Mum wasn't looking, and the one who I could run to in times of trouble, when she would tell me everything was going to be alright, even if it wasn't. We had our fair share of arguments - probably more, actually…we were too…alike in personality, so we clashed a lot." James voice gave out a little. "But even with our fights, she taught me more than just pranks - she taught me to be myself. Maybe a little too much," here, James looked directly at Lily, throwing her into a momentary whirlpool of confusion, "but it was the intention that mattered, and that was always good." Pausing, James looked back at Maddie, as if for encouragement to go on, and when she gave a slight nod, he continued, this time rather more hesitantly.

"Ally…didn't think that people could ever completely die. She - she believed very much that those who love us never truly leave us, and she always told me that they were all around us, and in us. Maddie and I found a poem which we thought, was…appropriate for this, because it suited her so well."

He beckoned to Maddie, who came forward next to him, and smoothed out yet another piece of parchment. She began to read the first verse, and James took turns, in alternating verses, until their voices joined in chorus on the last stanza.

_Do not stand by my grave and weep,_

_I am not there, I do not sleep._

_I am a thousand winds that blow,_

_I am the softly falling snow._

_I am the gentle showers of rain,_

_I am the fields of ripening grain._

_I am in the morning hush,_

_I am in the graceful rush_

_Of beautiful birds in circling flight,_

_I am the starshine of the night._

_I am in the flowers that bloom,_

_I am in a quiet room_

_I am with the birds that sing,_

_I am in each lovely thing._

_Do not stand at my grave and cry,_

_I am not there, I did not die._

As their voices faded into silence, Maddie folded up the parchment, her hands shaking. The two of them muttered a quiet "Thank you" and made their way back to their parents.

The officiator came forward again, and embarked on a long, monotonous speech. Lily was startled to find tears in her eyes as she looked at the photo in silence and realised with a pang that now, Alyssa could never exist as more than a memory in people's minds. A tear dropped onto her cheek, and she wiped it hastily away, unnoticed by all but James.

Twenty minutes later, the officiator finally finished speaking, and after the final goodbye, the coffin was lowered into the ground. Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter all watched as it was covered with earth, and levelled off. A headstone was revealed, in the ground, and Lily read the inscription:

_Alyssa Caroline Potter_

_Beloved daughter, sister and friend_

_Missed by many_

And beneath that, her dates of birth and death, and surprisingly, a colour photograph of her, almost the same as that which had stood on the coffin.

They stood in silence, all of them, with heads bowed. Everyone's expression was sombre, and quite a few old ladies were dabbing at their cheeks. Tears fell quietly from Andrew's eyes.

Eventually, the officiator raised his head. "Well, that concludes the proceedings," he said quietly. "Now, if you would all like to adjourn to the Potter's house, there are refreshments available."

The groups of people began to move towards the opposite end of the cemetery, and squinting, Lily could just about make out a pair of gates in the distance. People were walking in twos and threes, talking quietly, and Lily could make out James and his family at the front, his head bent towards Maddie as she said something.

She found herself walking next to Remus at this point, and a sudden thought occurring to her, turned towards him.

"Remus, how're we getting to their house?"

Remus looked at her in surprise. "Didn't I tell you?" he asked. "We can't go. Sirius, Peter and I have detention with Professor McGonagall soon, so we weren't allowed."

"But then…" Lily felt it sounded rather pathetic to say this, but there was no other option. "What about me?"

Remus shrugged. "Ask Dumbledore?"

Lily looked around, but the Headmaster was nowhere to be seen. Trying to ignore the knot of worry in her stomach, she walked on, and soon reached the gates.

Strangely enough, although it appeared to be a fairly quiet side-road, with a small park opposite, there were a large number of cars parked along the sides. In an effort to stop the little voice in her head which was setting off alarm bells about what she was supposed to do, she let her gaze drift up the road. It was funny how many people liked to buy silver cars, she thought dreamily. Her eyes lingered particularly on a pretty BMW parked halfway up the road, its silver paintwork sparkling. _I want a car like that when I'm old enough - and rich enough_, she decided.

Sighing, she turned back to the people around her, hoping to see a sign of Dumbledore, but he was nowhere to be found. James as standing with his three best friends; he appeared to be saying something in a low voice - Sirius was looking uncharacteristically solemn. The next moment, he and James hugged each other, like brothers. Lily turned away, smiling, as Remus did the same.

Suddenly, she saw a familiar long white beard, and realised with a start that Dumbledore was indeed standing a few metres away. Hastily, she started towards him, but he simply smiled at her, and Disapparated with a slight _pop_.

Lily froze, her mouth open in a silent 'Oh!' of astonishment. Quickly, she looked around to see that over half the people had gone, and more were Disapparating as she watched. Sirius, Remus and Peter had gone too; by Portkey, she supposed.

Panic really was bubbling up inside her now, constricting her airway. Then, James appeared at her elbow. "There you are," he said. "Come on."

"What?"

"You and Maddie are coming with me." He jerked his head at his sister, who was walking up the road, and headed after her, obviously expecting Lily to follow. Baffled, she caught up with him.

"How?"

"By car," James replied briefly, fumbling through his pockets. Lily gaped openly at him.

"You can _drive_?"

James pulled out a set of car keys and held them up, as if for evidence. "Passed the test last summer."

"So how did you get here?" Lily asked, her brain still trying to digest this new information.

James looked at her as though she had gone insane. "By _car_," he said slowly. He halted in front of a silver car, and Lily's mouth promptly dropped open again.

"This is _yours_?" she asked faintly, staring at the sleek BMW that she had been admiring not five minutes ago.

"After ten years of saving like hell, yeah," James said. "I wanted one of these ever since I found out they existed when I was seven. After that, I saved as much as I could - plus I did work with Muggle builders over the summers. Did anyone ever tell you that wizards are a lot more tight-fisted with pay?" He pushed a button, watched as the car unlocked itself, lights flashing as it did so, and then opened the door for her. "Plus, Dad agreed to pay one third of the price after I got my OWL grades. You and Maddie can sit in the back and talk to each other." He shut them in, and then climbed in himself.

Maddie gave Lily a small smile as she settled herself, but did not say anything. James adjusted the rear-view mirror, and pulled out of the parking space.

As they drove down various side-roads, Lily had an opportunity to observe Maddie at closer range, as she stared out of her window. She could see at once that Maddie was going to be a person who turned heads as she walked past; although still growing up, her face had an open charm to it that was very appealing.

The radio was playing a new song quietly in background, but it did nothing to disguise the silence between the three people, and eventually, James sighed.

"Honestly," he said, as they stopped at a T-junction. "Normally, neither of you can shut up, and here you are, acting as if your tongues had been cut out." He turned into a main road. "Fine, I'll reintroduce you. Lily, this is my sister Maddie, Maddie, this is Lily, Head Girl at Hogwarts. You two are quite alike, so you ought to get on."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, until Maddie's spoke. "So… what's it like to be Head Girl?"

Lily paused. "Scary," she finally admitted. "Everyone expects you to do a great job, but if you do, it's not such a great deal, because obviously it goes without saying that you do well. And it's a lot of hard work. I won't say that it hasn't got its perks, though," she added, thinking of the Head's Rooms.

"So you work with James?"

"Yeah." The car stopped at a set of traffic lights.

A grin flitted across Maddie's face. "Do you get on with him?"

"I - We - uh…" Lily hesitated. James' eyes were fixed on her in the rear-view mirror, and her cheeks began to go pink. She swallowed.

'Well," she said diplomatically, regathering her composure. "We … do now."

"So you didn't before?" Maddie asked. She turned round fully to face Lily, her expression interested, and this was enough to relax Lily.

"No," she said carefully, as the car swung onto the motorway. "He…uhm…annoyed me a little." The fact that James had been forced to direct his gaze elsewhere for a moment gave her a sudden rise in confidence. "Actually, that's an understatement. He had an incredible talent for infuriating me every time he was within fifty paces. Which was basically all the time."

"What did he _do_?" Maddie asked, intrigued.

Lily smiled. "Up until our third year, he hated me…and then all of a sudden he decided to ask me out - mostly in the most embarrassing, arrogant ways possible. I had an entire vocabulary of…_creative_… names that I used every time I had to yell at him."

Maddie laughed.

"Typical," James said, his eyes on the road. "You finally get talking, and the topic if conversation is about how much of a prat I am."

"Was," Lily corrected. "Let's face it James, why else is there only one thing I remember you doing to me in all six years that I classed as 'sweet'?"

"What was it?" Maddie asked curiously.

Judging by James' expression - or rather, what she could see of it - he had just remembered.

"At the beginning of third year, after our last - and probably worst - fight, I spent three days in a seriously bad mood." She laughed. "I honestly wrote a long list of 'Three Hundred Ways of Murdering James Potter' - I still say it was him who was in the wrong - but we were both stubborn, so we avoided eachother like the plague." Her face took on a dreamy look as she became lost in the recollections. "Then our Potions Professor had a go at him because of something or other that he'd done wrong in his potion - except it was actually the professor's fault, because he hadn't written that instruction up on the board. So I stood up and started protesting, ended up in an argument with _the teacher_, threw a fit, and stormed out of the classroom. Only time I've ever done that." Her mouth twisted in a half-smile. "One week's detention - my first ever detention - for James Potter's sake. _My_ friends thought I was mad, _his_ friends thought I was mad, even _I _thought I was mad. After dinner, I actually went up to ask Madam Pomfrey - the nurse - if I was ill, because I was so convinced there was something horribly wrong with me."

"I never knew that!" James said in surprise, from the front.

"You never asked!" Lily retorted. "Anyway, when I got up to my dormitory that night, there was a rose lying on my pillow, with a note."

"What did it say?"

Lily could see the back of James neck, in front of her, going slowly red.

"_I'm sorry I never saw the rose behind the thorns." _She smiled reminiscently. "I don't know how, but I knew it was from him."

"How sweet!" Maddie said delightedly, as they came off the motorway, and began to drive down country lanes. James shifted uncomfortably in his seat, neck still red.

"Yes, wasn't it?" Lily said, looking rather nostalgic. Then she took on a matter-of-fact tone. "Of course, two days later, he tried to talk me into going out with him, so I slapped him, and that's pretty much what happened for the next three years."

James cleared his throat. "Now that you've finished discussing our personal history, you might realise that we're nearly here."

Lily looked at her watch. "Have we really been driving for half an hour?"

"You _were_ rather caught up," James said dryly.

They rounded a bend in the road, and Lily stared. Rising up to meet them was a large house - almost a mansion - at least three storeys high. In front was a semi-circular drive, neatly gravelled, with a border of plants around the edge. James entered the driveway and the car rolled to a smooth halt. The three of them got out.

"I still can't believe you can _drive_," Lily said, as they walked up the drive.

"Yeah, but the downside of it is that I have to ferry my sister around in the holidays. Puts a bit of a damper on any plans for wild parties," James said. He unlocked the front door, and led the way in.

The sound of soft violin music met Lily's ears, and she wondered at the quality of the sound system, that could make the tunes sound so like live music. She looked around as she was led down the hall, noting the wooden panelling of the walls, and the contrasting pictures of abstract art that hung upon them.

"Welcome to The Manor," James said. He brushed futilely at his hair and pulled at his tie, before leading the way into a large room, through a pair of double doors.

For what felt like the millionth time in a few short hours, Lily stared. The room looked like more of a hall, with more wooden flooring and panelled walls. In one corner, upon a raised platform, was the source of the violin music - not a sound system, but an actual string quartet, playing soft classical music. Many of the people from the funeral party were standing around, as well as some that seemed to have just turned up. Lily spotted Mr and Mrs Potter talking quietly to an old witch.

James gave Maddie a slight shove. "Maddie, you're supposed to be serving!" he hissed.

Maddie turned around, rubbing her back, and glared at her brother. "Why me?" she muttered.

"Because Mum told you to! Now go!"

Sighing, Maddie departed, presumably to the kitchen, though not without giving James a dark look and a strong shove back. "I'll get you back for this later."

Lily raised her eyebrows.

James rubbed the spot on his arm where she had pushed him. "Sisters," he said. He looked at his watch. "I'd better go tell Mum we arrived safely. You'll be okay here for a few minutes, right?"

"Sure," Lily said trying to sound nonchalant. James headed towards his parents. She watched as he said something to them, and they replied; fighting back a smile as she saw Mrs Potter tug at her son's tie, clearly trying to do it for him.

She looked around again, and suddenly felt very insignificant amidst these people, all of whom seemed to know each other. She was about to retreat to a corner, when a flash of silver caught her eyes, and she looked over to see Professor Dumbledore in conversation with a middle-aged woman. He turned, smiled, and beckoned her towards him. Nervously, she moved there.

"Ah, Madam Fawcett, this is Miss Evans, our head Girl."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Lily said, attempting to look politely interested.

"Likewise, I'm sure." The woman smiled kindly. "So, how do _you_ know the family? Are you James' girlfriend?"

Lily had to work hard not to gawk at the woman's inquisitiveness. "No, I'm simply…representing Hogwarts."

"Ah." Madam Fawcett tipped a huge wink at her, but was unable to continue, due to the girl that suddenly appeared, carrying a tray.

"Would you care for a vol-au-vent?" Maddie asked, with supreme politeness, proffering the silverware. The three of them took a roll off the tray, and as she turned, Maddie caught Lily's eye, rolled her own at the two older people, and grinned. Lily smiled and watched as she walked off towards another group, feeling that at least one person sympathised with her. She turned back to hear the end of Madam Fawcett's speech.

"…such a sweet-tempered girl she is," she was saying. "Come, Dumbledore, I must introduce you to Mr Pringle; we were having a rather interesting discussion on…" She dragged the headmaster away, and Lily was left alone, wishing with all her might that Professor McGonagall had not chosen to give detentions out on a _Saturday_. She was the only person in the room who was on her own, and was beginning to feel distinctly awkward about it. James appeared to be talking to a young man who had waylaid him; a few minutes later, he politely extricated himself and made his way over to Lily.

"How're you doing?" he asked.

"Not bad," Lily answered, as truthfully as possible.

"Well come on, I'll take you to meet my parents," James said.

"_What_?" Lily said, horrorstruck. "No!"

James gave her an exasperated look. "You're not meeting the Pope or anything. Come on!"

"Uh-uh," Lily protested. She backed up against the wall. "I was doing fine here, they'll never notice me."

"For heavens sake," James said, and he grabbed hold of her arm, and discreetly dragged her over to where his parents were standing.

"Mum, Dad, this is Lily Evans. She's Head Girl at Hogwarts."

Mr and Mrs Potter smiled at her, and they suddenly seemed a lot less awful.

"Nice to meet you, dear," Mrs Potter said.

Lily smiled nervously.

"So you work with James, do you? That must take some doing."

Lily shot a sideways glance at James. "Yeah, it does," she agreed mischievously.

James groaned. "First Maddie, now you."

Mrs Potter raised her eyebrows at her son, and then turned back to Lily. "Lily Evans…that rings a bell, for some reason…" She looked thoughtful. "Lily Evans…Lily Evans… Your initials are L.E., I take it?"

'Yes, they are,' Lily said, feeling slightly bemused.

"Interesting…" Mrs Potter said. "Your OWL year, James?"

For a moment, James looked quite as confused as Lily felt. Then, all of a sudden, he turned bright red. "_Mum_," he choked out.

"I didn't say anything, dear," Mrs Potter said sweetly. She fixed James with a beady look. "Now, since you are a member of this family, why don't you go and talk to a few of your relatives? They all want to talk to _you_. And you'd better not do anything to your tie either!" she added, as James scowled and walked over to an old, wizened-looking man. Mrs Potter watched him hoist a polite smile onto his face.

"Always a handful," she murmured affectionately, before redirecting her attention. "So, Lily, what are you planning to do after Hogwarts?"

"Well, I'm hoping to go into Healing, if my grades are good enough." Lily pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Just like me," Mrs Potter said, giving her a smile. "Don't worry about it too much dear, I'm sure you'll make it, given your current position."

"Thank you," Lily responded.

At that moment, a faint crash of breaking glass was heard, and Mrs Potter frowned. "If Maddie's broken a set of glasses _again_…excuse me, dear, I'll just go and find out what's going on back there." She walked off, and Lily retreated to a side where she could remain unobserved.

For twenty minutes, she stood, feeling more at ease than she had done for much of the day, because she knew that as long as she looked demure, she could do no wrong. She felt more sorry for James, though; he was forced to seem polite and pleasant to all the people in the room, which he had to circulate through. To someone who had unconsciously learnt his moods over the last two months, it was quite plain to see how his painful smile never reached his eyes.

After a while, Lily began to be aware that the carrot-orange-haired girl who had nodded at her in the funeral was staring at her. Feeling self-conscious, she turned around to examine the mantelpiece behind her, and noticed, for the first time, the photo set in the centre. The adorable, tousle-haired boy in the middle could only be James, looking over to the side and reaching for something – he couldn't be much older than three. The girl standing behind him was obviously Alyssa – she kept tapping him on the shoulder and pointing, clearly telling him to look at the camera. A small baby sat propped up on a cushion at their feet, fast asleep, and Lily guessed that this was Maddie. She looked again at the photo, and turned to compare it with the tall boy standing across the room.

"Yes, he is quite a catch, isn't he?" a posh voice said conversationally. Lily turned to see Carrot Girl standing beside her, the squared jaw even more prominent at this proximity.

"Susan Bode," she said, thrusting a large, mannish hand out. Lily shook it.

"Lily Evans," she said courteously, wondering how discreetly she could wipe her hands on her skirt to get rid of the sheen of sweat that had transferred itself from Susan's hands.

"Ah, yes, you would be the current Head Girl at Hogwarts?" Carrot Girl said. Her voice immediately gave the impression of snobbiness and poshness – terribly 'English'.

"Uh, yes," Lily muttered.

"Oh." Susan gave a tinkling laugh. "I don't know how you do it. I was always a little less uptight than the role required." She turned her attention back to James. "Well, as I was saying, I do think beauty runs in the family." Her smirk indicated her self-inclusion in this statement; Lily could not have agreed less. "I expect he's got girls throwing themselves at his feet in school?"

"Uh…" Lily was at a loss to answer.

"He's just like me. I must admit that he's rather handsome, though I _am_ related. I don't suppose you're the current girlfriend?"

"No!"Lily wanted to get out of this conversation as soon as possible, and mentally attempted to evaluate possible escape routes.

"Of course, that's what they all say." Lily received a wink that made her want to punch this Carrot Girl in the face.

"I -" she began.

"Sorry to interrupt you, ladies," a smooth voice cut in. Lily could have almost cried with relief as James himself turned up. "I need a word with you Lily. Do you mind, Susan?"

"Not at all," Susan said regally. "Go ahead." She walked off, and James watched her go before turning back to Lily with an expression like thunder.

"If I hear one more person go," he put on a simpering voice, "_SO sorry about your loss_, I will bloody well crack."

"Don't swear," Lily said automatically. She tilted her head to a side. "I will admit, some of your relatives are a little…strange."

James smiled humourlessly. "I take it Susan's been inquiring into my love life again?"

Lily stared. "How did you -?"

"She's done the same thing to _all _my friends."

"Ah," Lily said. "Well, in that case, yes, she has."

James turned around to survey the people around him.

"You know what? I've had enough of this. Come on, let's go."

"Huh?"

This time, it was James who stared at her. "Lily, did you get enough sleep last night? Come on, let's go."

"Where?" Lily demanded.

"My room. Where else?"

"_What_?" Lily hissed. "James, you have _got_ to be kidding."

James raised an eyebrow.

"What would your parents say?"

James looked at his father. "They know I won't do anything stupid. As for the rest of them, I don't care what they say."

"But…" Lily looked down. She could feel James' eyes on her, searching her face.

"You're scared of me," he said finally.

"What? No I'm not!"

"Yes you are. You're scared of what I might do."

"No! I'm just…" Lily trailed off.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, the babble of quiet chatter mixing with the violins drifting in the air.

James sighed. "Lily, do you trust me?" he asked. He held his hand out.

"Sorry?" Lily tried to avoid his eyes.

"Do you trust me not to try anything…funny on you?"

For a moment, Lily kept her gaze on the floor, and then looked up. Despite her doubts, one look into James' serious eyes was enough to convince her of the truth.

"Yes," she said simply, placing her hand on his. His fingers closed around hers.

"Come on." Discreetly, they slipped out through the same doors they had entered by, and James led her through several passages, all richly carpeted. Only then did they realize at the same time that their hands were still entwined. Abruptly, both their cheeks flushing, they dropped each other's hand and James cleared his throat as he headed up a wide staircase.

"Your house is _big_," Lily said in amazement, as they walked down yet another hallway. "Don't you ever get lost?"

"Put it this way," James said, pausing at a door, "this house has a mind of its own." He opened the door, and stepped in. Lily followed, and felt her eyes grow wide as she took in the room around her.

James' room was large, much larger than her own, and done in simple but effective shades of deep blue and cream. A large four-poster bed stood in the middle of one wall, in shades of pale blue. There were several shelves on one side, with books stacked on them, and a large desk underneath, and a swivel chair. Opposite stood a gigantic wardrobe, with a mirror on the front, and a square window – bigger than Lily had ever seen – which let a lot of light in, giving the room an airy feel. The blue carpet underfoot was thick and soft, and the whole room was almost immaculate. A very faint smell of James hung in the air.

"Your room's so big – and _clean_," she said wonderingly, as she crossed over to look at the books. There were several books on Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Advanced Transfiguration, as well as Quidditch, and – most interestingly – _The Art of Animagi_, a slim blue book.

"I was forced into tidying it at the end of the holidays," James said, with a slight smile. "You couldn't see the floor any more."

Lily laughed, went to sit on the bed, tripped over something soft, and went flying. She ended up sprawled on the floor.

Ignoring James' outstretched hand, she hauled herself up again and stared at the mass on the floor.

"And you have beanbags on the middle of the floor because…"

"Sirius saw them in a shop last summer and insisted on buying them."

"Ah." Lily sat down. James was still standing in the corner of the room, hands jammed awkwardly into pockets.

"You know," Lily pointed out, "it's meant to be me standing there, paranoid about breaking something, not you."

James laughed. He walked over to the swivel chair and sat down in it, turning himself to face her. "You can be very strange, you know that?"

Choosing simply to stick her tongue out at him in reply, she looked around at the mirror, smoothing her hair down, and got the shock of her life when it erupted into female laughter.

"No need to worry there, darlin'! Lookin' good!"

Lily slowly turned back to James, who appeared to be trying to control a smile. "Your mirror _talks_? Like the Leaky Cauldron?"

"It never shuts up." James' lips twitched.

Taking a deep breath, Lily scanned the room again. "You're lucky you get to combine wizard and Muggle stuff."

"Yeah," James said. "I get the talking mirror that doesn't know how to zip up, the self-arranging closet to make up for the mess I leave, and the record player which took me two years to figure out how to use."

"You have a record player?" Lily said, distracted. "Where?"

James swivelled round and pulled on a knob in the wall that Lily had assumed to be a nail. A section of the wall disappeared, and Lily could see a gleaming tower in a gap – it was one of the latest designs. "My sisters got one, so obviously I wanted one."

"Oh wow!" Lily said. "So…what music do you have?"

James peered into the hole. "I _did_ have quite a lot," he said. "But Maddie has apparently decided to nick it all while I wasn't here."

Maddie's name struck a chord in Lily's mind. There was something she wanted very much to ask, but she wasn't sure how he would take it. She watched as he sat down again, and the wall rematerialized, looking as solid as ever.

"James, can I…ask you a question?"

James looked slightly surprised. "Shoot."

"When you…in the car…well, not just in the car…." Lily hesitated, debating how to phrase her thoughts. "Most of the day, you've been really…cheery? No, not cheery, just…happy…I mean, obviously not _all _of the time…but like when you were in the car, and you were joking about how much of a prat you were…I don't know, I just wasn't expecting you to behave so…normally. Not just you – your parents and Maddie too. Why?"

James leaned back in his chair. "Okay, first things first…last night, when I got back, we had a talk, as a family And we decided that…Ally wouldn't have wanted us to be upset. Crying my eyes out won't bring her back – in fact, if I'm going by one of her theories, I'm holding her spirit back. So…we decided that we would try to act as normally as possible, for her sake." He swallowed. "I won't lie and say that it doesn't hurt, because it does. A lot."

Lily watched him with softened eyes. "Trust me," she said. "Eventually, you'll learn to deal with it. It won't be like this forever."

James shook his head, and cleared his throat. "Anyway, number two," he said in a stronger voice. "I wasn't joking when I said I was a prat."

"No you weren -" Lily started.

"Oh come on Lily, don't deny it. You've called me much worse than that; and let's face it, a fair amount of the time, I probably deserved it." Lily began to shake her head, but James continued. "I look back, and I wonder what on _earth_ was wrong with me. I'm not saying you were an angel either, because you weren't," Lily blushed, "but I don't know how I found it…I don't know why I thought it was such an amazing thing to be able to humiliate someone, even if they were a slimy toerag, for no specific reason."

"James, a lot of people need their heads checked at the age of fifteen. You grew out of it. I mean, come on, would I _really_ be holding a conversation with you if I didn't think you capable of it – an _intelligent _conversation?"

James laughed ruefully. "But it _was_ fun to watch you get all worked up."

"Shut up!" Lily glared at him. "You're not meant to remember what a madwoman I was."

There was silence for a few moments.

"Actually," James began, looking cautiously at her, "speaking of little talks, there's a little 'talk' that…we need to have."

Lily's face must have registered her puzzlement, since James took another look at her and carried on. "About…about…that night…before I found out that Ally…"

Mouth forming a soft 'Oh!' of comprehension, Lily finally understood what he was talking about. Suddenly, the room felt thirty degrees warmer, and for a moment, she wished she had never come up to his room, or to the funeral, wrought as it was with implications.

James mistook her embarrassment for…well, embarrassment. There wasn't really any other emotion that Lily's burning cheeks could have been displaying so clearly.

"Look, it's not like I'm pressuring you into deciding on the rest of your life – I just think it'll be better if we get some…closure…on it – that way we can – we can move forward…in whatever direction."

"Closure," Lily repeated faintly. She sat, motionless, her eyes on the ground, her hair swinging forward over her face. James was watching her; he was trying for a fuller view of her face than she wished to give. The silence between them was so thick it could have stifled a smoke alarm.

And why was it so hot, so incredibly, unbearably hot?

Focusing on James face in her mind, she tried to re-evaluate what she felt for him in a few seconds, and came to a realization, and a decision.

_Here goes nothing_.

She looked up at James, at his earnest hazel eyes that were regarding her with warm seriousness, and it was doubly hard to say the next words.

"I – I like you, James. I like you a _lot_. I look back at all these years that I spent yelling at you, and I think _Damn_, _I missed a really good friend. _But…that's all you'll ever be… a friend. A really good friend, practically one of my best. I – I don't think I could think of you in any other way. I mean, at the moment, at the very least."

James opened his mouth, then closed it again. A knot of worry welled up in Lily's throat as she realized how charged the air was.

"Please don't let this change anything between us!" she burst out desperately. "I couldn't bear it if we stopped being friends or anything – I wouldn't have said anything – I couldn't handle that! Please! I just – I'm really sorry. I don't want anything to be different."

The look on James' face was one of quiet resignation. "I though you were going to say that."

"I'm so, so sorry," Lily said gently. Despite the fact that it was her doing the let-down, she felt like crying. "If I could change the way I feel – but I can't."

James looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. "It's – it's ok. At least we – we can put it in the past now." He attempted a somewhat unconvincing smile. "So, what music are you into?"

Lily was about to revert to the previous topic, before she realized that James was trying to do them both a favour. So, instead, she went with his flow.

"Well, I don't mind Jo -"

She was cut off by a rattling on the doorknob, followed by a sudden bang; startled, she twisted round to see the door fly open, and a figure fall into the room.

James stood up quickly. "Maddie, what are you doing on my bedroom floor?" he asked, glaring at her.

Maddie got up slowly, rubbing her back. "I'll have you know that I had no intention of ending up on your floor, oh brother dearest. And yes, I'm sure there are no bones broken, thanks for asking."

James gave her another glare. "Great, so you're capable of turning round and walking right back out of that door. If you want to come in, try knocking. And by the way, either you return my music, or I search your room before I go back to school."

Maddie tried (and failed) to look innocent. "Me? Why would _I_ want your music? Don't insult my taste!" She turned to the mirror to brush her skirt off and grinned as it wolf-whistled; James gave it a dirty look.

"Great, whatever. Bye bye."

Maddie smiled angelically. "Sorry James, do you really think I would come here for no reason? I have messages to deliver."

James sat back down grumpily. "Go on then. Hurry up."

"Right." Maddie took on a fruity English accent. "Miss Evans? Professor Dumbledore requests your presence, as he wishes to return to school."

"Okay," Lily said, getting up and straightening her clothes.

"And James, Mum said to come down to say goodbye, and," here she imitated her mother's voice, "_if I so much as see that tie of yours out of place, you know what will happen, because if you can do up a school tie, you should be quite capable of doing a normal tie up_."

James tugged fruitlessly at his neckwear, making it worse than it already was. "I'll do something about it," he mumbled.

"_Now_, the interesting part, where I get to be the inquisitive, annoying sister." Maddie adopted a wheedling tone. "Guess what, James? I heard Mum talking to Dad just now."

"Eavesdropper," James muttered. But a flicker of genuine curiosity did show on his face.

Maddie looked delighted to be the centre of attention – in fact, she was wearing a look that Lily knew only too well, having used it often – that angelic expression one wore when about to ruin an older sibling's life.

"Guess who they were talking about, James? They were talking about _you_. Guess _what_ they were talking about? Would you like me to tell you?"

James looked torn between throwing his sister out of the room, or hearing the rest of what she had to say. Maddie took his silence as consent.

"They were discussing a certain revelation that Mum made today – about Lily's initials."

Lily's curiosity peaked, but James' face visibly paled.

"You're making this up," he said in a low voice, standing up and taking a step towards her.

"Oh _no_, Jamie," Maddie said sweetly. "Why would I make something with this much potential _up_? Anyway, Mum remembered several uh…papers in James room when she went in to freshen it up before James came home from sixth year -"

"You wouldn't," James hissed.

"Oh but I feel _Lily_ here has the right to know," Maddie said smoothly. She was wearing that one-of-a-kind angelic expression again. "These papers were stashed away, as opposed to being chucked away like most people would do. But then I guess these were _special_ papers, right, big bro?"

James's face was void of colour, and he was looking daggers at Maddie. Quickly, he took two steps across the room, and attempted to shove his sister out, throwing all his weight against the door to close it behind her. With surprising strength, however, Maddie thrust her foot back through, and managed to jam half her body into the crack. She really was grinning now, as James lost his balance and landed on the floor.

"I believe the papers were exam papers from your fifth year?" She was addressing Lily now; James was pulling himself up, evidently about to attempt another attack on the door.

"What Mum found _particularly_ interesting about these papers, aside from the fact that they ought to have been in the bin long ago, knowing you, was that they all had a set of initials emblazoned over all the questions. Crossed out, sure, but still legible."

James threw himself against the door again, but could not close it, and Maddie went on in a sing-song voice. "_Your_ initials, in fact. With various other anecdotes such as 'I lo –'"

James made a final effort at the door, and it finally closed on Maddie.

"You must have been very bored to write it so many times!" she called through the door, before her footsteps receded. Lily looked, open-mouthed, at James, who was leaning on the door. He would not meet her eyes. "Yeah," he muttered uncomfortably. "She has very bad timing." He cleared his throat and went to stand in front of the mirror, fiddling with his tie, the back of his neck red. Lily stared at his back, still shocked – before she remembered that the incident must have been around the time that she had humiliated him by the Great Lake after exams by telling him – and most of Hogwarts' fifth year – that she would rather date the Giant Squid than him. Feeling inexplicably guilty, she shook herself, and went to stand next to him.

"Honestly, I would have thought you would know how to do up a tie by now. Come here." Nudging his fingers away, she began to unknot the material. Interestingly, she noted that his neck was still pink as he answered.

"I _do_ know how to do a tie! I do one every day, for heaven's sake. I just can't do this one."

She could feel his eyes on the top of her head. Rolling her own, she pulled the tie off and then put it round again neatly. Her fingers brushed inadvertently against his cool skin, and she swallowed, mentally commanding her cheeks _not_ to flush.

It didn't work. It never did.

"Thanks," James said, when she had finished and stepped back. He reached up to pull it unconsciously, but Lily slapped his fingers away.

"Don't you dare!"

And then an uncomfortable silence fell, both of them standing opposite each other, and yet avoiding the other's eyes. The floor had never looked more interesting.

"Well…" James said awkwardly.

"Yeah…"

"See you, I guess." He held out his hand to shake, and Lily grasped it uncertainly, finally letting her eyes move up to see James' downcast face.

"We're still friends, right?" she asked suddenly.

James looked wrong-footed. "Yeah."

Moving towards him, Lily pulled him into a hug. "I hug my friends when I say goodbye," she whispered into his ear. The familiar smell of him washed over her, calming her, as he gently hugged her back – though could she have seen his expression, she would not have been feeling quite so serene. As it was, she felt the warmth from his body radiating onto her own, and smiled contentedly into his shoulder.

They broke apart as the mirror started cackling. "I'll be seeing you in here again, you mark my words!" it crowed cheerfully.

"Shut it," James said, throwing it a Look. He opened the door, gestured to Lily to go out, and then led her back down the corridors and stairs until they reached what Lily recognized as the front hall. Professor Dumbledore was standing there, talking to Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

"Miss Evans," he said. "Ready to leave?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. Without having to look behind her, she knew that James had pushed his hands into his pockets and was leaning against the wall.

"It was lovely to see you here, Lily dear," Mrs. Potter said. Mr. Potter smiled at her.

Maddie stuck her head round the doorway leading to the room of the gathering. "Yeah Lily, thanks for coming!" she called. Mrs. Potter clucked at her, and she disappeared hurriedly.

"See you on Monday," Lily said to James, taking hold of the chocolate wrapper that Dumbledore now held out. James gave her a half-grin back, and the last glimpse she had as she felt the familiar tug behind her navel was of him, with a hand raised in farewell.

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N:** Bonjour! Despite having module exams in…two days, I decided it was time to stick another chapter up (not that it was a convenient way of avoiding revision or anything hums innocently ). Wish me luck! Love you all, and love you even more if you're kind enough to leave a review .

N.B. Acknowledgements for the poem to Mary Frye (I think)..19-something or other.


	25. Interlude

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**Chapter 25: Interlude**

Interlude, Part One 

Emma yawned. She opened her eyes slowly, in a gentle return to consciousness, and stared at the ceiling. It took her a few minutes to remember what day it was, and it was only when she rolled over sleepily to face an empty bed that she realized Lily must have already left. Stretching leisurely, she got up, and padded over to Sapphire's bed.

"Saffy? Saffy, wake up!"

There was no answer. Emma shook the heap of blankets, and pulled them down slightly to reveal Sapphire's drowsy face, eyes clenched tightly shut.

"Go 'way," she mumbled, burying her face in the pillow as she rolled over. "You're not…mum-phf!" She squealed as she fell off the bed, Emma having unceremoniously stripped the sheets away.

Adjusting the straps of her pyjama top, she sat up and glared at her friend, rubbing her hip painfully. "What was that for?" she asked indignantly.

"Because you'll never get up otherwise." Emma smirked at Sapphire, who was now staring at the disaster area next to Emma.

"What happened _there_?"

Emma sighed. "Lily happened." She looked at the clothes strewn all over Lily's bed, shrugged, and headed for the bathroom. "Guess you'll be the last one to get washed!" Sapphire huffed, and threw a pillow at her, but it simply fell against the closed door.

**-&-**

Half an hour later, both girls walked down to the Great Hall. The tables were almost empty, with only a few stragglers finishing off their food in relative quiet.

"We are so late," Emma said, looking around. "It's nearly eleven already."

"So?" Sapphire piled toast onto her plate. "We don't have much to do." She yawned lazily as she spread jam onto a slice and bit into it.

"Oh yes we do," Emma said firmly. "_We_ are going to the library, and I am going to do my Herbology homework while you write those essays for DADA and Potions that you've been putting off all week."

"Nooo," Sapphire moaned. She gave Emma puppy-dog eyes. "That can wait a few hours…or days…"

"No it can't," Emma said adamantly. "You finish those essays if it's the last thing you do – _before_ Lily comes back."

**-&-**

After a long breakfast, which Sapphire was reluctant to leave, the two girls headed up to their dorm to collect books, and then back down to the library. They found a table by a window and settled down.

Two hours later, Emma was still only halfway through her essay, and had resorted to sugar quills, in the hope that the sugar would inspire her. Sapphire's books were scattered over the table too, but there was no sign of the girl herself – there hadn't been for about twenty minutes. Sighing as she realized this, Emma got up, and began to walk round the shelves.

She found her friend standing in an aisle, almost pressed against the bookcase behind her, nose apparently buried in a big book.

"That must be quite an interesting book," she observed casually, coming up behind her.

Sapphire jumped. "Yeah, yeah it is," she said, flushing slightly.

Emma glanced at the pages. "Obviously. I'm sure it's important for your essay." She looked over her friend's shoulder. "It must be quite hard reading upside down, though." She twisted her head to the side. "Hmm. _Innovative spells for removing nostril hair_. So what, you get past a dangerous criminal by doing them the favour of charming their nostril hair off? Clever."

Sapphire shut the book sheepishly. "I don't know what to write!" she moaned in a whisper. "I'm stuck!"

"You can come and be stuck at the table," Emma said, dragging her back by the elbow. "At least _try_." Sapphire stuck her tongue out at her friend as she was forced into her seat.

Twenty minutes later, Emma had still not progressed beyond a few sentences, and was becoming heartily sick of reading the same definition of Nickelwort over and over again. The intermittent sighs of Sapphire broke the silence, as she chewed on her quill. Every so often, the library doors could be heard opening and closing, as students moved in and out.

Nickelwort is a herbe often used in the treatmente of infections of the throate, being of goode virtue when…

"Can I talk to you?"

Emma looked up to see Callie standing in front of their table, her usual smirk apparently twisted into what she assumed to be a polite smile.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly, raising her eyebrows.

"Nothing to do with you," Callie said snidely. She turned to Sapphire. "Sapphire, can I speak to you?"

Sapphire looked undecided, but eventually, her face hardened. "Normally, I wouldn't even give you the time of day, but these essays are my only other option." She got up, then looked at Emma.

"I'll meet you back here, Em." Emma nodded, albeit doubtfully, wondering if Sapphire would come back crying, and watched as they walked out of the library.

…_Nickelwort is a herbe_…

…This was so pointless. The musty smell of the books around her was simply putting her to sleep...

…_often used in the treatmente…_

…The quiet whispers around her seemed even more aimed at forcing her into slumber...

…_used in the treatmente of…_

…What was she writing an essay on again?

Sleepily, she got up and went to stand by the window, in the hope that the cold glass would wake her up. Yawning, she stretched as she watched younger students outside, enjoying the grounds, despite the blustery day. Some were lying on the grass under trees, talking or doing homework. She smiled, remembering back to the days when the worst homework they had was only a twelve-inch essay. _Because four-foot essays are so much more fun_, she thought dryly. Her mind drifted to the parchment and quills lying expectantly on the table behind her, but she could not bring herself to walk back to it. The cool wind outside seemed to be breathing a breath of fresh air into her too, making her feel more clear-headed than she had been in days. Resting her head on the pane, she let herself relax.

A sudden commotion disturbed the peace outside. Several students outside were twisting round in alarm, and Emma heard a distant, faint bang. Peering round, she saw a tall, dark-haired boy come striding across the grounds. He was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, despite the coolness of the day, and was walking angrily across the grass, clearly furious. For a moment, he looked up at the overcast sky, and Emma realized with a start that the reason the boy's profile looked so familiar was because he was Sirius.

The next minute, another two boys came into sight. One, half-running behind the other, was apparently Peter. The other, walking quickly ahead was – Emma felt her heartbeat speed up for a second – Remus. Hair blowing in the wind, he soon caught up with his best friend, and Emma followed his figure with an almost painful feeling in her chest.

She watched from her window as Remus placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder and spun him around roughly. Even from here, she could sense the fire raging in Sirius' stormy grey eyes as he said – no, shouted something, and walked off again, heading for a bare-branched tree. Again, Remus caught up with him, and pulled him around. For a moment, Sirius' face blazed, and he looked like he was about to hit Remus – Emma breathed sharply in – but Remus did not flinch. He put both hands on Sirius' tense shoulders and looked him straight in the face, apparently talking to him. Peter stood nervously by his side, watching the two of them. Sirius turned away, and out of nowhere, punched the tree violently. Looking shocked, Peter pulled out his handkerchief, and handed it to Sirius, whose lips clearly formed the shape of a swear word. Emma winced as she saw the white fabric transform to blood-red.

Remus still had his hands on Sirius' shoulders, and was still talking to him, shaking him slightly. For a moment, Emma wondered what would happen next – but then Sirius seemed to lose his fury – it flowed out of him like water, and he relaxed. Putting an arm round his shoulder, Remus and Peter led him back inside, talking, their heads together.

Feeling slightly shaken herself, Emma lifted her head from the window and stared, unseeing, at the books opposite her. Old memories and feelings were resurfacing, and however much she tried to shut the lid on them, that last expression of Remus' was dogging her mind's eye.

She had seen that care on Remus' face so many times before; that watchfulness over others' emotions and troubles, no matter what his own might be. Why had she not recognized it for what it was: a concern for those he loved best, not an act to hide the beast within? Why had she not even thought back to the time of the Halloween Ball, when he had waited by her bed to see that she was alright? That was no monster, that was human. More than human.

Quietly, pensively, she walked back to her bag, sat down, and opened a compartment that she had rarely gone into, since…From it, she pulled out a photograph, taken shortly after the Ball, of the two of them sitting side by side in the common room. They were looking at each other, laughing. Contemplatively, Emma traced a finger over Remus' figure. The photo-Remus cupped his hand gently around her cheek, and Emma saw her own eyes light up as he looked at her affectionately.

That smile…that smile that had once been reserved just for her…for the first time since that horrible day, Emma allowed the recollections to come flooding back, and she welcomed them; welcomed the remembrance of how he had held her, and how safe she had felt in his arms…his laughing eyes…and his lips…

Coming to a decision, Emma put the picture away and went back to her essay. Nothing would stop her this time.

**-&-&-&-**

Interlude, Part 2 

When Callie had approached her, Sapphire honestly had no idea of the things to come. She had neither expected, nor wanted to talk to her former best friend, and had in fact preferred to act as though there was absolutely no history of any sort between the two of them. The memories were neither ones she wanted to have, or wanted to remember. No closure, just…erased. Gone. But now, it seemed, the bin was about to cough up its contents, and her emotions were mixed as she followed Callie out of the library.

Callie waited until they were a few corridors away from the library before she spoke.

"Do you mind if we go to the dorm?"

Sapphire shrugged. They headed up the various staircases and passages, through the Fat Lady, and up the stairs into their dormitory, which was mercifully empty. Uncomfortably, Sapphire sat down on her bed.

Callie was the first to speak. "You don't seem too happy."

_No shit, Sherlock_.

"Yeah, well…" Sapphire didn't really think it was necessary to say more.

"How've you been?"

"Better."

Callie raised her eyebrows. "Come on, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sapphire said shortly.

"Well why are you being so down?" Callie asked impatiently.

"Oh, am I supposed to be _perky_?" Sapphire snapped. She put on a fake smile. "I'm just _chipper_, thank you!"

"No need for sarcasm!" Callie said tartly. "You could at least be glad that we're speaking to each other!"

"Oh, is that what this is?" Sapphire responded, raising her eyebrows. "I was under the impression that we weren't talking _at all_."

Callie opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. She took a deep breath. "Look," she said, in her normal tone of voice. "I was thinking…since, you know, recent events…do you want to be friends again?"

For a moment, one brief, split-second instant, Sapphire actually considered saying yes. A memory of her and Callie, giggling together in the common room, flashed through her mind.

And then it was succeeded by many other memories, not least the one of Lily finding her in the toilets.

"No," she said shortly.

Callie looked taken back. "What? You're just going to throw our friendship away?"

The hypocrisy of this statement was so blatant that Sapphire almost wanted to laugh. "It didn't seem to be too hard for _you_ to do at the competition, did it?" she retorted.

Callie blinked. "Yes, well…" she said, waving her hand in the air dismissively. Her voice softened into an eager tone. "The thing is, you, me and Serena could really _be_ something here. I mean, what with your new look and everything…"

"Oh, is that what _recent events_ were?" Sapphire asked, smiling grimly. "You want me to come crawling back to you because I look different? Oh, _that's_ a reason I'll go for."

"Come on, Saffy." Callie had taken on a wheedling tone, but Sapphire stopped her.

"Sapphire," she said firmly. "My name is Sapphire to you. Not Saffy."

Callie made a noise of exasperation. "Stop being so stubborn!"

The weak grip that Sapphire had on her self-control dwindled even more.

"Stubborn?" she said sharply. "How am I being stubborn? You used me for six years and dumped me, so I found new friends. _Better_ friends. And now you want me to come back again?" Her voice grew louder and louder with every sentence. 'Number one, that makes no sense. Number two, you're saying you want me to ditch my friends? My _real_ friends? I don't forget people as easily as you!"

"I didn't ditch you!" Callie said, her voice rising to match Sapphire's. "I was just…taking a break."

Sapphire made a noise of disbelief. "Good. Stay on your 'break'. Stay on your 'break' across the fucking country, for God's sake! This conversation was pointless!" She turned around and walked towards the door.

Her hand on the knob, she suddenly paused, then turned around and walked back to Callie. "You know what? I want to understand something. Why? Was I that easy to throw away?" The harsh bitterness in her voice surprised even her.

The few seconds that Callie took to answer were all that Sapphire needed. "No-o," she replied. Sapphire heard the hint of uncertainty behind her tones that only served to back up her thoughts.

"You're lying," she said flatly. "But I want to know why. You owe me that much, don't deny it. Why was this such an act? What was the damn point?"

Callie sniffed scornfully. "You can be so…mucked up." But Sapphire's hard gaze did not waver, and eventually Callie sagged, and sat down on the bed.

"All right,' she said shortly. 'I was jealous."

This seemed so ludicrous, that Sapphire could hardly believe her ears. "What?" she asked incredulously.

Callie was wearing an unreadable expression. "You don't remember the first week or two of first year?"

Only vaguely, Sapphire thought. All her memories of first year were mainly of herself and Callie – the first couple of weeks seemed to have been erased. The Pre-Callie Period.

"Not really," she owned.

Callie's face was still set. "So … you don't remember how…how everyone liked you? Emma and Lily both wanted to be your friends, the Marauders classed you as 'cool' – and they had status from day one – even Tom and Keegan admitted you were pretty, though none of us knew each other that well."

_When did all of this happen_? Sapphire thought confusedly. _And why don't I remember any of it?_

"So?" she said aloud. "Quite apart from the fact that I don't remember any of this, what has it got to do with anything?"

"Oh please." Callie snorted. "It has everything to do with it. All that attention you got. That wasn't _yours_. It belonged to me and Serena – we're the purebloods, from the big wizarding families, just like the Potters and Blacks – that was _our_ popularity you stole. So, we made you our friend. Your crowd came after us because we were your friends, so we were popular. We got what we deserved."

Sapphire was staring at the girl in front of her. "You deserved it? What kind of a screwed view of life do you have?" She felt the shock coursing through her veins like icy fire. In a sharp tone, she asked. "Is that the reason behind the hair dye?"

"The more you were like us, the more we gained status."

As the reality of what had gone on really became absorbed into Sapphire's mind, she felt…numb. Her stomach seemed to have turned to lead, and the icy fires burned her from the inside.

_This is why, _she realized. _This is why I'm so terrified of losing friends. This is why I panic at the slightest hint of trouble, and find it so hard to be wanted. _

_This is why I'll worry that I'll be just as easy to throw away as I was before._

"Well, your so-called popularity didn't last long, did it?" she said bitterly. "Everyone knows what bitches you are – and I have a whole vocabulary of words to that effect. Looks like you _are_ the losers of the year after all."

Callie looked nettled. "Takes one to know one."

"Oh please," Sapphire scoffed. "Resort to your pathetic little comebacks because you can't face yourself. Well, you can kid yourself, but I guess I've seen you – _really_ seen you – for the first time. And I don't like what I see."

Callie watched as she headed towards the door again, and made a last-ditch attempt. "You know, I really _did_ like you most of the time."

Sapphire paused, standing in the doorway. "Do I really believe that?" she asked softly. "I think you know the answer to that as well as I do, Callie. Don't bother talking to me again. Goodbye."

She closed the door behind her, and leaned against the wall, to let out a long, shuddering breath. A sudden lump rose in her throat, and she choked it back, wiping her eyes.

So many unanswered questions. But she now had some sort of termination for the whole situation. Or did she?

_Am I really worth nothing?_

She thought of Callie's snide looks and laughter. And then she thought of Emma and Lily, of the looks they had worn when she had forced them to talk, and of her parents, and the genuine, unconditional love they had for her.

The answer to that question? Was she really worth nothing?

_No._

**_-&-&-&-&-&-_**

**A/N:**Just FYI, therewere two songs that originally went with this chapter(before decided to quibble over the use of songs).The first part went with the song Can't Fight the Moonlight, by Leann Rimes – I thought it was rather appropriate, considering Remus' connection with moonlight. The secondInterlude went withBlue, by Sugababes – GREAT song, and very true.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the repost - let me know what you thought by REVIEWING (:hint:)


	26. Through The Rain

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

Chapter 26: Through The Rain 

"Hey," Emma said, seating herself beside Lily and helping herself to a sandwich. Sapphire smiled at her, but Remus, sitting a few places down on the other side of the table, stiffened at the sound of her voice. Giving her a cold look, he got up and walked off, the displeasure evident in his stance. He left the Great Hall. The flurry of movement alerted Emma, who looked up in time to see him stand. Her eyes followed his figure out of the hall, and her smile faltered.

"Déjà vu," James muttered across the table. Lily and Sapphire nodded wordlessly. The rest of the day was to prove what they knew only too well.

After breakfast, most Gryffindors headed for Transfiguration. Outside the classroom, Emma hesitantly approached Remus. "Hey," she said quietly.

The response was immediate; Remus turned away from her and joined in with a conversation between James and Tom. Emma was left standing there for a few moments before she had no option but to walk back to Lily and Sapphire, both of whom were watching her sympathetically.

In Defence Against the Dark Arts too, Remus took his place beside James wordlessly, and ignored every single word that came out of Emma's mouth, whether directed at him or not. The set line of his mouth, clamped shut, served only to increase his air of coldness.

It is a well-known fact that when something can get even worse than it is, it inevitably does. As if it wasn't bad enough that teachers were piling work on the seventh-years left, right and centre, all three girls were beginning to feel the strain of social life. Emma had a grand total of seventeen failed attempts to talk to Remus. Although she had not given any motive to her friends, they guessed, at least in part, what she was trying to do, and saw how each unsuccessful endeavour served only to depress her spirits, though they hoped it would somehow strengthen her resolve.

Sapphire had been tripped up yet again by none other than Sirius, spilt ink all over herself, and managed to rip up her essay for Defence Against the Dark Arts. The loss of the pieces of parchment on which the essay was written had been easily repaired, after five minutes of Summoning and Repairing spells, but the loss of Sapphire's temper had not been so easily dealt with. Sirius had had to go up to the Hospital Wing with a black eye after she had punched him in the face, and even afterwards, still held the shadow of a bruise over his left eye. His dark looks at her for the rest of the day's lessons seemed exactly calculated to antagonize her more, and consequently, her temper was constantly at a dangerously simmering level.

And Lily? Compared to the other two, she felt her problem was much more trivial. Although she was now, surprisingly, on a firmer base of friendship with James, there was still a niggling feeling in the back of her mind, that for some reason, they seemed to speak to each other less. Still, she convinced herself that it was just her own paranoia, and decided to concentrate on thinking up ways to cheer up her friends instead.

By the time dinner rolled around, she had it. Quickly, she made hr friends eat, and then, ignoring their noises of protest, dragged them upstairs and forced them into homework. Groaning, they finally complied, only partially mollified by her promise of, 'the whole thing will be worth it afterwards, I swear.'

At eight-thirty, Lily packed up and mysteriously disappeared, much to Sapphire and Emma's surprise. She re-entered the portrait hole twenty minutes later, hiding something behind her back, and hurried for the girls' dorm. Coming back down, having taken her time, she found a very different scene from the one she had left. Sirius was standing in the middle of a pair of chairs, arms crossed, and smirking. Sapphire, on the other hand, was practically smoking at the ears.

"Fool!" she spat. "Only a – a clown like you would have such little sense, to come anywhere near me after what happened this morning!"

Instead of seeming abashed, as Sapphire was hoping he would, Sirius simply looked down at himself. "Strange," he said, raising an eyebrow. "You'd think I would dress more like a clown if I was one."

This was indisputable. Sirius was one of the best-dressed boys in the year, hands down.

However, this knowledge seemed to irritate Sapphire only more; she glowered at the black-haired boy in front of her.

"Smug bastard," she said angrily. She picked up her books, slamming them shut, and stalked off. "I'm going upstairs, away from _him_," she called back to Lily. Sirius shrugged and sauntered away, leaving Emma frozen over her work. Lily beckoned to her.

"Come on, we can do that later."

They traipsed upstairs and opened their dorm door, only to be met by the sight of Sapphire, violently punching her pillow.

"Hey!" Emma exclaimed, dumping her books and hurrying over. "No need to take your anger out on inanimate objects!" She wrested the battered object from her friend, and set it down on the bed, neatly smoothing away creases.

"I was pretending it was Black's face," Sapphire muttered.

"Well," Lily pointed out reasonably, "you _were_ planning to sleep on that tonight as well…"

Sapphire sprang up with a cry of disgust. "Great, Now I'll have nightmares for weeks."

Seeing her friends' faces, both of which were relaxing into dejected and angry expressions, Lily looked around. Dormitory empty. Likely to be so for at least two hours – Callie and Serena were not early in sleeping habits. Perfect. She headed over to her four-poster and hooking her fingers beneath the frame, began to heave it to a side. Sapphire and Emma stared.

"What're you doing?" Sapphire inquired.

"Moving the beds together." Lily grunted as she pulled with all her strength and the bed shifted exactly two centimetres.

"O-okay," Emma said uncertainly. "Uhm, would you mind if I asked why?"

Lily pulled at the wooden frame again, her face turning red with effort. "It would be - more productive of - you to stop - asking and - help me - out here."

Emma pulled out her wand. "You _do_ realise you could do that by magic?"

Groaning, Lily let go of the wood and straightened up, rubbing her dusty hands off on her jeans and turning them from blue to grey. "Go ahead."

The beds were soon levitated together, and Lily joined the curtains up, to effectively create a bed which could have fit six people, with curtains blocking them from the outside world. She instructed her best friends to change into nightwear, and then having done so herself, heaved a huge basket onto the bed. When Emma and Sapphire came back, they were greeted with a hamper full of food, and a large stash of sweets.

"Where did all this come from?" Emma asked, amazed.

"Kitchens." Lily grinned. "Plus, I hit James up for some of the sweets – he owes me a favour. If all this sugar doesn't get the serotonin flowing, nothing will."

"Huh?" Sapphire looked confused.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sero_to_nin. It's a hormone released when you eat chocolate or sweets that makes you feel happy. That's why you eat chocolate as a remedy for Dementors."

"Whatever." They climbed onto the bed, and Lily closed the curtains, so that they were in a state of semi-darkness.

"This is our night in!" she announced. "We have two hours of food and gossip ahead of us to help us relax!"

**-&-**

Twenty minutes later, all three girls were lounging around on the 'triple bed' in a state of extreme hyperness, brought on by serious sugar intake. Lily threw an Every-Flavoured Bean into the air, and by diving on top of Sapphire, managed to catch it in her mouth.

"Eurgh!" she squealed. "Spinach!"

"Mmph – mphl -" Sapphire said, from under Lily.

Emma burst into giggles. "You said eurgh!" she said, pointing at Lily.

Lily climbed off Sapphire. "Ok, you know what we should do? Truths!"

"Noo," Sapphire moaned. "Remember the last time we got into this?"

"Just one round!"

"Nooo!"

"Please? Pretty pretty please?"

"Ok, fine," Sapphire said heavily.

"Yay!" Lily burst into laughter as Emma tried to balance a sugar quill on her nose. "Me first, me first, me first!"

No one answered, so Lily took this to be general agreement.

"Okay, this is for…Emma." She picked up a sugar quill. "Do you…no, _did_ you…ever tell Remus that you loved him?"

Emma rolled over onto her back, and stared at the ceiling. "I – I don't think so…I don't even know properly if I _do_ – I..I like him a lot."

"That's not a good enough answer!"

"I – If I had to say – I can't – I don't know what I feel!" Emma had flushed a dark red.

"You're so annoying!" Lily whined.

"Right, end of game," Sapphire said firmly – or rather, as firmly as she could manage.

Lily groaned, but toppled backwards as she reached for another pumpkin pasty to take the edge off the sugar.

"Can _I _propose something for us to do?' Sapphire asked. 'How about we rate all the boys in Gryffindor? I mean, looks and so on."

Lily stared. "_All_ of Gryffindor?"

"No – maybe just in our year. And if you're going out with them, then you can't rate them, only the others can."

Emma shrugged. "Fair enough."

"So…alphabetical order...first up: Keegan Adams. Emma, you first."

Emma considered as she bit off the head of a Chocolate Frog. "He's ok," she said thoughtfully. "The sun-bleached hair and tanned skin isn't really my type, but he's not ugly."

"Lily?"

"I suppose he's ok – his eyes are a nice colour too."

"Hmm…okay, yeah, I guess I agree." Sapphire attempted to work out the next person. "How about…ugh. Black. No comment."

"You can't do that, Saffy!" Lily protested. "You're not going out with him, so you have to give your opinion. Your _unbiased_ opinion."

Sapphire groaned. "Fine. He's good-looking. I'll admit that – but it better not leave this room!"

Lily and Emma burst into laughter at her pained expression at having to say something nice about her arch-enemy.

Lily screwed up her face. Sirius was undoubtedly good-looking – most girls wanted to be with him, most boys wanted to be him. "Very…handsome," she said. "He's got that whole sexy, dark-haired guy image working for him."

"Yeah, and he's got good taste in clothes," Emma added.

Sapphire scowled. "Great, let's move on. How about…Tom Jacobs? Lily, you're out on this one."

Lily nodded and picked up another pumpkin pasty.

"He's ok," Emma said thoughtfully. "But I don't think he compares to people like Sirius. He's over average, though."

"His nose is a bit long," Sapphire said doubtfully. "No offence, Lils."

"It's okay," Lily said, yawning. "Remus?"

Sapphire turned to lie on her side. "He's a Marauder, isn't he? That says it all – of course he looks really good, whatever he does."

"Yeah," Lily agreed, "but at the same time it's different. With Sirius, you can see how – how attractive he is from a mile away – he practically radiates charm. With Remus…he's good too, but I think it's like, you don't notice it as much in comparison with his friends, until it hits you in the face, and you think _wow_. Speaking impersonally, of course."

"Thanks for the sermon," Sapphire said, laughing. "And number five? Peter?"

"Not good-looking," Emma said at once. "His eyes are all watery, and he's too pale."

"He's not that bad," Lily argued. "I mean, it's not like he repulses girls. He _has_ had girls after him."

"Only the desperate ones." Emma snorted, picking another sugar quill. She stuck it in her mouth so that she could use her hands while she spoke. "He's just like a little boy at times."

"He's nicer than you think," Lily said defensively, unaware of the smudge of chocolate on her nose. The other two laughed madly at her comical expression as she stuck her tongue out to reach her nose when she _did _realise.

There was near-silence for a few moments, before Sapphire cleared her throat. "And last, but by no means least…" Identical evil grins appeared on both her and Emma's faces as they looked at each other excitedly. "…James Potter."

Two sets of eyebrows raised as Lily buried her face into the bed and groaned. "Noo!"

"Yes," Sapphire said happily. "Come on, out with it. We've wanted to know this for a _long_ time. Your _real _opinion of him."

When Lily lifted her head, her cheeks were tingeing pink. "He's fit, all right? I'll admit it. Tall and good-looking."

"Oh no, I want more," Emma said. She looked as though she would have cackled, if she could. "Specifics."

It was doubtful that Lily would have said the next thing, had she not been under the influence (of sugar). As it was, however, she could only look back and regret that she had not duck-taped her mouth shut before it came to this.

"He looks good! Is that what you want to hear? Messy hair, nice eyes – but I am NOT attracted to him in any way…and…and he's got a really good body."

There was silence.

"When did _you_ get a look at him?" Emma said slowly.

Lily raised her face, which she had buried in a pillow again to hide her flaming cheeks. Left with no other option, she was forced to tell the story of her midnight apology, feeling more and more embarrassed.

When she had finished, any stranger could have easily anticipated the reaction of the two girls.

"OH MY GOD!"

**&&&**

Despite having gone to bed happy, when the three girls woke up again in the morning, their problems seemed to have returned in full force. The mood was gloomy in the seventh-year dorm, and although Lily knew it was mostly the worry of work that was making hr heart sink, her expression mirrored that of Emma's exactly. The weather seemed to be joining in; it was cloudy and cold, with an unsettled air.

Lunchtime found Lily, Emma and Sapphire all staring blankly into space as they ate. Avoiding the four boys that had become such a big part of their lives had been difficult, but in the end, achievable. After lunch, it was back to lessons, and at long last, dinner came.

Having eaten, Lily and Sapphire seated themselves in the common room and began working arduously through the stacks of homework they had been given. Emma disappeared upstairs, saying she would join them later.

Ten minutes into her essays, Lily's mind had wondered off-topic, and resettled on James, trying to work out why they had distanced themselves from each other. His face swam before her mind's eye, in its startling variety of expressions. It took fifteen minutes for her to realise, slowly, that in a way, their friendship was so strong that the looks they sometimes shared were much more communicative than words could ever be. Having settled this point, she went back to her work with much more fervour, and managed to diligently write two feet on the uses of hellebore, when the object of her reflections appeared before her.

"Hey," he said, smiling and sitting down. "D'you mind if Remus and me work here? We need to go through some stuff for the Ball once you're done."

"Sure," Lily said, clearing some space. "This shouldn't take me too long." She wrinkled her nose. "Just a couple of centuries or so."

The two boys laughed, and pulled out pieces of parchment. They worked in silence for about twenty minutes, the ceaseless drumming of rain outside providing the only background noise. It was pelting down hard, from the sound of it, and Lily shivered inwardly. She would _not_ have liked to be out there tonight.

Finally, she put down her quill, stretched, and yawned. Remus looked up.

"Done?" he asked, smiling as she slid down in her chair.

Lily nodded.

"Wish I could say the same for this stupid essay," he said, making a face. He looked up at the windows. "It's really coming down out there, huh?"

"Yeah," Lily agreed, letting her hair loose out of its ponytail. A flash of white light burst upon the room as lightning lit up the stormy sky, and everyone jumped, looking towards the outer wall. Lily however, was distracted by the girl who had just come down the stairs. She smiled at none other than her best friend. Emma tilted her head in greeting back at her, but her eyes soon settled on what, for her, was the back of Remus' head. Visibly swallowing, she walked apprehensively over to him.

Thunder crashed down around the castle, and the rain beat a tattoo onto the castle's stone walls. Emma came to Remus' side.

"Remus, can I talk to you?"

The change on Remus' face was immediate. If his face had been a computer screen, Lily thought, it would have been as if someone had clicked 'Shutdown' because that was exactly what happened. Although still focused on his work, his face had become completely blank.

"Remus?" Emma put a hand on his shoulder. Politely, but quickly, Remus shrugged it out from under her palm, and carried on writing.

"Can we talk?" Emma questioned again. She sat down next to him, and tried to angle her face to catch his. Lily felt, rather than saw, a slight movement beside her, and knew that the other two, like her, must have been burning with curiosity to look up and watch, but of course they couldn't do that. From the corner of her eyes, she could just about se Remus turn away. A repeated touch on his arm, and he stood up. Emma mirrored him. "Please, can we just talk?"

Remus took a step backwards. His expression was odd; one that Lily had never really seen before on his face. It was unreadable, but at the same time, cynical, his lower jaw grinding against his upper.

"It's funny," he said distinctly to the ceiling. "Déjà vu." He looked directly at Emma. "I could have _sworn_ I said that to you more than once. You never seemed to hear."

He turned and walked out of the portrait hole – the next moment, Emma had followed him. Lily looked after them, then at the two people frozen over their work beside and opposite her.

"Come on!" she said quickly to James.

"What?"

"If we don't keep an eye on them, one of them will be dead at the end of this – God knows what Remus'll do."

"Good point." The two of them hurried through the portrait hole, leaving Sapphire, who rolled her eyes.

"How did I _know_ that those two would leave _together_?" she asked the air.

**&**

Meanwhile, James and Lily stole quietly along the corridors until they caught up with Emma. The decision of what to do was completely settled in a very few seconds by the exchange of a few looks. They did not want to intrude on their friends, but neither did they have any intention of allowing the two to come to blows. Instead, they opted to follow them in the shadows, just to keep an eye on things.

Remus was striding purposefully down the corridor, his black robes billowing out behind him, always headed downwards. After him came Emma. There were only a few metres between the two of them, and yet Emma seemed incapable of closing the gap, forced instead to half-run after him, periodically calling his name – it seemed she did not care who heard her now.

"Remus!" she yelled. "I won't leave you alone until you listen to me!"

Remus whirled around at the top of a flight of stairs. "Get lost, Emma. Fuck off."

Emma reeled as if she had been hit. She was not the only one. Lily gaped openly, and even James stared disbelievingly at his best friend of seven years. He had never sworn before.

The boy in question spun away and descended the stairs quickly. It took Emma a few seconds to recover, but when she did, she relentlessly pursued him down. No longer did she have any breath for speech, almost tripping over herself as she ran down the stairs. Their footsteps echoed in the passages; one set purposeful and determined, the other faster and lighter. James and Lily could do nothing but look hopelessly at each other, and follow in their wake.

Finally, they were on the ground floor. It was not clear where Remus thought he was going, but the darkened corridors were hardly conducive to good navigation either.

Lily glanced upwards at a window as thunder crashed across the sky again, louder than she had ever heard before. She looked at James. "I hope he's not intending to – oh, he is." Her tone flattened as she realised that they were going past the Great Hall in a direction that could only lead to one place.

Outside.

Apparently the same thought had just occurred to Emma – she visibly blanched as she saw him heading towards the huge doors of the entrance to the castle.

"Remus, _please_, just listen to me for one minute!" she cried desperately, straining ever harder to catch up.

Remus heaved at the doors, and they swung open, flooding the immediate vicinity with yellowy torchlight, which served only to highlight the huge drops drumming down as if there was no tomorrow. Lightning flashed, a glaringly white trident of anger against the inky darkness above, even as Remus stepped out past the doors. He hesitated for only a millisecond before advancing out into the onslaught of water. "Give me one good reason why!" he flung angrily over his shoulder.

Emma ran to the top of the steps outside, and halted, unsure of whether to go further. Chest heaving, gasping for air, she watched his figure retreat further and further from the doors.

"Because – because – because _I love you_!"

Lily stopped short, and threw out an arm to stop James; needlessly, as he had already frozen, mid-step. With bated breath, the two of them watched the scene before them unfold.

It took the wind a few moments to carry Emma's words to Remus, but when they reached him, he paused. Slowly, almost against his will, he pivoted round to look at Emma. He was completely drenched, hair dripping water down his neck, clothes stuck to him, and rivulets of water running down his face and arms. "What did you say?" he asked quietly.

Emma took a few steps down the stairs, until she was almost at a level with Remus. She drew in a deep breath that somehow got caught in her throat and turned into a sob. "I – love you," she repeated, and now she really did begin to cry; smiling, but crying tears which mingled with the rain on her cheeks. She moved down to the muddy ground. It was perhaps just as well that Professor McGonagall or Madam Pomfrey did not happen to pass by at that precise moment; they would certainly have had a fit at the sight of the two seventh-years getting soaked in the ruthless rain, standing motionless opposite each other, except for Emma's heaving shoulder as she both sobbed and laughed. A flicker of emotion passed over Remus' eyes.

Then, - it was impossible to say who had taken the first step – the gap between the two of them slowly closed, until they were only a foot away from each other.

"I thought I didn't -" Remus said, so quietly that only Emma heard him.

"You always did," she whispered back fiercely. "You always did."

And at that moment, their minds seemed to truly connect for what, perhaps, was the first time. The floodgates opened, and all the distrust, uncertainty, and jealousy poured away, to be replaced with clear understanding.

The next moment, the distance was closed, and they wrapped their arms around each other, each holding the other tightly. Remus' head lay protectively on hers, and she felt his body relax beneath her arms. The heavy rain around them had no place; all she heard, or cared to hear, was Remus' strong, steady heartbeat beneath her cheek.

Off in a corner inside, Lily heaved a sigh and she turned to James, whose expression of was one of relief too. Smiling, she put her arm on his, and drew him away, away from the two figures melded together, a single silhouette against the light.

Pulling away from Remus, Emma looked up at him, blinking away the raindrops on her eyelashes. He was looking at her with that old, but never worn-out gaze of affection, and she left herself bathe in its warmth for a minute before reaching up to brush his dripping hair out of his face.

"I'm so, so sorry," she whispered shakily, letting her hand trail down his cheek and come to rest on his chest. "I don't know why I ever thought – I don't _care_ what you are, Remus – I love you – I'm just sorry it took me so long to realise." She swallowed, feeling as if a thousand nerve endings were on fire where his hands lay on her waist. "I don't know if I'm the one for you…but you're the only one for me, and you always have been."

Fearful of a sudden rejection, throat dry, she searched his eyes for a response as he looked wordlessly at her, mindless of the rain beating against her. A sudden gust of wind drove the water into her face, but still he said nothing, and she could not see his expression properly.

Then, at long last, she felt his hands leave her waist, and move up, until he was cupping her face in them. Gently, with the pads of his thumbs, he brushed away both teardrops and raindrops.

"You'll always be the one," he whispered hoarsely.

Emma's heart swelled; she felt like singing and dancing; and yet, at the same time, was able to remain calm and still enough to hesitantly move her head towards his. After what seemed like an eternal moment, their lips finally met, and her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him back with all that she felt for him. A blissful feeling of happiness engulfed her, and she gave herself up to it completely.

And there they stood, an oasis of calm in the midst of the storm, twined together under the night sky and the gaze of a pale crescent moon.

**&&&&&**

**A/N: **Having just edited this at LONG last, I'm too lazy and full of pizza to write a superlatively long author's note. So please review, just because you love me so much (and even if you don't, feel free to review anyway), and I SWEAR I will work on getting the next chapter up sooner. On the plus-side, we're now inching closer and closer to The Big One: Chapter 35!


	27. Blood Brothers

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**Chapter 27: Blood Brothers**

"Morning!" Despite the cool weather outside, Emma's face at breakfast was a picture of happiness as she watched James and Sirius sit down opposite her and her friends. She smiled sunnily at them, causing Lily and Sapphire to roll their eyes affectionately.

"Somebody's happy today," Sirius commented, reaching for cereal. James rolled his own eyes and smacked Sirius upside the head.

"Excuse the extreme stupidity of my friend, ladies. But don't worry, he's on the waiting list for the nearest mental asylum." He snatched the cereal off Sirius. "Oh, and Emma, Remus said he'd be down soon. He's just waiting for Peter."

"That's okay," Emma said cheerfully. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" James looked up at the ceiling, which showed nothing but grey clouds scudding across, and raised an eyebrow.

"She's been like this since she woke up," Lily supplied, in a mock whisper, but her smile as she looked at her friends showed how really happy she was for her. Just then, a pair of legs straddled the bench, and a boy who Lily had come to recognise as Leon Wilkes sat himself down next to Sapphire.

"Hi, Sapphire," he said. "How're you today?"

"Great, until you showed up," Sapphire muttered. She moved away from him. Lily, James and Emma all stared at Leon, who was eyeing Sapphire's chest, but oddly enough, Sirius was watching Sapphire with an unusually shrewd expression on his face. She looked at her plate determinedly, avoiding both his and Leon's eyes.

Leon tore his gaze away from her body. "So. Sapphire, Sapphire, Sapphire. Would you be my girlfriend?"

Sapphire exhaled. "Would you _get lost_?"

Leon maintained a cavalier smile. "You'll cave in soon enough," he announced, before getting up and going.

Sapphire let out a sigh of relief. "Stalker, that's what he is."

Sirius took a bite of toast, but frowned as he chewed, watching Leon sit down with his own Ravenclaw friends.

"What's the matter?" James asked. "Peanut butter instead of marmalade on your toast?"

Sirius swallowed. "No," he said. He stared at Leon for a few minutes longer, and then turned back to the group. "Have you _ever_ had a boyfriend, Heathleigh?" he asked abruptly.

"What?" Sapphire looked as though she couldn't believe her ears. "Why do you care?" An angry tinge of pink appeared on her cheeks.

"I'm asking. Have you _ever_ had a boyfriend? As in, at _all_ during Hogwarts?"

Sapphire's face darkened to deep red. "If you must know, no, I haven't!" she snapped. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing," Sirius said. He was still eyeing her. "So have you ever crushed on anyone?"

For some reason that Lily and Emma could not fathom, Sapphire's normal defence against Sirius, of ignoring him, had crumbled. She flushed, if possible, even more, but did not meet his eyes. "Yes, of course I have!" she said, with an angry kind of pride. "I know you think I'm a freak, Black, but I do have hormones, though I keep them more in check than you do!"

"But then you've never gone out with anyone," Sirius responded, raising his eyebrows. "Instead, you insult anyone who tries to get near you."

"Get over yourself, Black, you're not some kind of psychoanalyst. And not everyone's a manwhore like you."

Sirius still looked at her, not seeming even remotelynettled by her words, as if weighing something up. "Well, personally, I think anyone who wants to go out with _you_, _needs_ a psychoanalyst."

"Oh shut up!" Sapphire said sharply. "What is with the interrogation over _who_ I go out with? Maybe I just don't want a boyfriend, have you ever considered that in the dung heap you call your mind?"

Sirius replied with only one word. "Why?" For some reason, this simple question seemed to incense Sapphire even more, and she stood up forcefully, almost knocking Lily over.

"I'm going," she barked. "I don't need to explain myself to _you_!" She gave him a look of pure, unadulterated loathing, and stormed out.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't envy Wilkes," he said, flashing a brilliant grin at a Hufflepuff fifth year, who smiled, blushed, and giggled her way out of the hall. James choked on his orange juice, and Remus slapped him on the back as he sat down.

"Hey guys."

"Hey," everyone answered. Emma gave him a shy smile as he looked at her, and he returned it. "So what's everyone doing?" Remus poured cereal into a bowl.

James looked around sarcastically. "Hm, I don't know…what _DOES _one usually do at breakfast?"

"Flirt," Sirius responded automatically. He raised his voice. "Hey, Madhura!" he called.

A pretty Asian girl, walking by arm-in-arm with her two best friends, raised her eyebrows at him. "Hi, Sirius."

"Are you free this Saturday?"

Madhura smiled, albeit mysteriously. "I might be. Depends what you want to know."

"Could I know if you'd go out with me?"

Madhura looked him up and down. "I'll think about it." She walked off, talking to her two friends, who had both been appraising Sirius coolly, as if determining whether or not he was good enough for her.

"She's a tough nut to crack," Sirius said, watching her go.

"That's because she's got beauty _and_ brains, so she doesn't fall all over your feet like some bimbo," James said wisely. "She'd actually be worth your time and effort. And interest."

"Well -" Sirius began, before he was interrupted by the arrival of the owl post. No one paid much attention to the birds, until a large eagle owl glided proudly down to Sirius, who eyed it with distaste.

"Oh _no,_" he said in a low voice, unfastening the letter from its leg. The owl ruffled its feathers, gave him a haughty look, and took off again. Almost deliberately taking his time, Sirius unfolded the parchment. His eyes moved over the words inside, but after a few moments, it became clear that he was not really reading any more.

"What's wrong?" Lily enquired, watching his face pale slightly, his eyes fixed on one point in the letter. Sirius started and looked up, as if surprised to remember that they were all still there.

"Nothing," he said shortly. He looked down at his food, and pushed his plate away, before folding the letter up again and putting it into his pocket. He stood up. "I'm not hungry. I'll just go and…er…yeah…" He left the hall.

There was an awkward pause as six pairs of eyes followed his tall figure walking swiftly out of the hall.

"Well," Lily said, trying to relieve the tension. "It must have been something big to drag Sirius away from _food_."

James smiled, but turned questioningly to Remus, whose gaze was still riveted on the closed door. "What was all that?" he said, in an undertone.

Remus shrugged. "Go and find out," he replied quietly.

"Who, me? Now?"

"You're the best person for the job – he'll talk to you." He nudged James on the shoulder. "I think he was going outside."

Resigned, James too got up and walked off. He knew Lily's intent green eyes were fixed on him in confusion, as she had not heard any of their exchange, but he stored that to deal with later, and instead focused on the more pressing problem of where Sirius had gone.

Outside, he shivered, crossing his arms over his jumper, and looked around before walking off into the gardens. Sure enough, he soon found Sirius, sitting under a tree, not far from the lake. The letter was in his hand again, but he was now twisting it around mechanically.

"It's freezing cold," he said, sitting down on the ground beside Sirius. He clasped his hands around his knees. "What're you doing out here?"

"Just thinking," Sirius said. He looked idly at the lake.

"Is that really all?" James asked. "Come on Padfoot, we've been best mates for seven years. I know when you're not telling the whole truth."

No reply.

"What was in the letter?" James asked quietly.

Sirius exhaled, a long, slow breath. "My darling hag of a mother wrote to inform me that I've been legally disowned."

"What?" James said incredulously. "Are you sure?"

Wordlessly, Sirius handed him the now-crumpled piece of parchment, and James opened it to skin over its contents. Phrases leapt out at him: '…_legally disowned…cut off from the family…inheritance frozen…continuous association with unworthy peers…disregard of family honour…outright disobedience…persistent refusal to co-operate with familial traditions…relentless waste of time on "pranking"…shame to blood kin…burnt off family tree…'_ James looked up at Sirius, who smiled grimly at his open mouth.

"It's all there," he said bitterly. "Take away the euphemisms, and you can see exactly what they mean." He paused for a moment. "Plus, as it says in there, my wonderful little brother Regulus is 'in total agreement with the proceedings,' being, as he is, a _model_ Black family heir. The only heir, now. So much for brotherly love."

James regarded his best friend seriously. "So…what now?"

Sirius shrugged. "Most of my stuff is here. I can't go back there now…I guess I'll have to find someplace else, and then take everything else."

"But where's 'someplace else'?" James asked in concern. "You know you can come back to my place and stay as long as you like – Mum and Dad'd love to have you."

"Yeah, but I can't stay forever, can I?" A frown passed over Sirius' face. "I reckon I might be able to buy an apartment of my own…Uncle Alphard left me a decent bit of gold; as soon as my birthday comes, I'll have access to it. He got blasted off the family tree for that." He rubbed a hand wearily across his eyes, and it was then that James noticed the recent scars on his knuckles. He grabbed Sirius' hand and scrutinised it.

"What happened here?"

Sirius pulled his hand away. "The day of Alyssa's…funeral, Phineas turned up when we were about to leave Dumbledore' s office, with a message from Mother about my 'impure morals'. When I got back, I was pissed off, I went outside, and even though Moony tried to calm me down, I ended up punching a tree."

James raised his eyebrows, but refrained from commenting. After a while, Sirius spoke again. "I suppose that little episode should have been a warning for today." His eyes suddenly flashed vehemently. "I hate the lot of them! – my blinded parents, my soft brother – all convinced that to have wizard blood makes you practically royal. The only way I would ever have pleased them would have been if I had killed off half the Muggle-borns in school. Commanded the Heir of Slytherin or something."

James could do nothing but watch his friend compassionately. He could not imagine life without his own parents and sister – and they were a family that he _loved_. How must Sirius feel? Again, it was Sirius who broke the silence. He drew a long, slightly shuddery breath, as if trying to hold onto the one thing in the world that made sense. "I don't know, James. It feels like I've suddenly had to grow up overnight and face my family's ideals head-on for the first time – and it's too fast." He gave a short embittered laugh. "What am I talking about? I don't _have_ a family now, any more."

"You have me," James said quietly. Sirius looked at him for a moment.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "And I wouldn't trade you – you're more my brother than Regulus ever was. But…you're not…" He did not have to say the last word, and James could have fitted it in easily enough. _Blood_. The word hung in the air heavily. James watched Sirius' profile; the profile of a man, grown from the same profile of an eleven-year-old boy that had befriended him, and grown as close to him as no one else could come. And suddenly, he had an idea.

"Padfoot, do you have your penknife with you?"

Sirius took out a penknife with a burnished wooden handle. It was a valuable aid to the Marauders, having attachments that could unlock any lock and undo any knot. But it was the sharp steel blade that James needed now. Taking the knife in one hand, he reached out for Sirius', turned it over, palm upwards, and made a diagonal slash across it with the blade. Sirius snatched his hand away. "What're you _doing_?" he demanded as the blood welled up. He gaped as James, without answering, opened his own fist and made a deep diagonal cut in it. The crimson liquid bubbled up, almost delicately highlighting a startlingly red line over his palm. "James! -"

"Shut up," James muttered. Throwing the knife aside onto the grass, he pulled Sirius' hand, just before he could wipe away the blood, and pressed it against his own. Both boys winced slightly as their damaged skin came into contact and a dull, yet searing pain washed over them. James did not take his eyes from their hands, and Sirius could feel that as his own blood left him, another kind was coming in…He felt a strange tingle up his arm.

A few minutes later, James took his hand away, and pulled out a handkerchief so that they could clean up the mess around the cut. Sirius watched his blood slowly clot across, until all that was left was a brown line across the pale skin. He looked up, finding his throat strangely dry. "You – we're – blood -"

"Brothers." James sounded slightly hoarse himself. "If blood was what we needed to make it official, then blood is what we've got." He looked down at his hand. "Besides, it gives Mum even more of a reason to cluck over you when you come home."

_Home_. It as a word used so freely and easily among others, yet Sirius had always loathed its sound, knowing as he did what "home" constituted for him. Then had come the time that he had left 12 Grimmauld Place, and there had _been_ no home. But now…James' house…home…he could get used to that… "Thanks," he said gruffly, closing his fist. The marks stung a little, but this was one wound that he preferred to heal the Muggle way. With time. "If I was a girl, I'd hug you."

James rolled his eyes. "Oh, come here. One time only." The two of them hugged briefly, and when they drew back, Sirius knew that there was no one else who would ever take James' place.

James looked at his watch. "You know, we're late for Charms," he commented, with a wry smile. He stood up and brushed himself off. "What do you say we swashbuckle up, in true Marauder style, and skive off?"

Sirius grinned, and accepted his offer of a hand to help him up. "I'd say you almost took after me when it came to very good ideas, Prongs, old friend." He paused. "But it does seem a bit unfair to leave Moony and Wormtail stuck in class." He stooped to pick up his knife.

"Ah." James tapped his Head Boy badge fondly. "This has more uses than you'd think."

**-&-&-&-**

And so it was, that Lily walked into Charms that morning, only to wonder where James was. Remus and Peter had no answers, and she was left to wonder about the empty places where James and Sirius usually sat.

About halfway through the lesson, a knock sounded on the door. Lily, like everyone else, looked up as it opened, and she stared as James stepped in, looking no different from usual, apart from rather windblown hair, wearing his most serious and mature expression.

"I'm terribly sorry to be late to your class, Professor," he said politely, "but I was detained by some…problems." He appeared to hesitate. "Could I possibly borrow Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew for the remainder of the lesson, please?"

"Potter," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "You do realise your NEWTs are only months away? You need all the theory!"

"Yes sir, but…it's rather urgent." Lily would have laughed out loud if she could, as James managed to make himself look even more serious and Head Boyish.

"But the notes you will miss…" Flitwick said despairingly. Lily bit down hard on her lip and fought to control her expression.

James flickered briefly over Remus and Peter, and then, surprisingly, over herself. "Lily said she would give us her notes to copy up, this evening," he said smoothly.

Flitwick turned to Lily. "Is this true, Miss Evans?" he asked curiously.

Lily, confused as she was, did not miss the cue – the cue to lie like hell. "Yes Professor," she answered clearly, keeping her face neutral. "James already asked me before."

"Very well, very well." Flitwick sighed in resignation. "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, you may go. Be _sure_ that all three of you catch up. We shall be moving on tomorrow. And make sure you give Miss Evans back her notes when you're done."

"Yes sir," the three boys muttered. As James held the door open for Remus and Peter, Lily caught a glimpse of a dark head beyond, to a side, which could only be Sirius.

_Odd_, she thought, as the door clicked shut and Flitwick began talking again. _I wonder what's going on?_

**-&-&-&-**

By that evening, she was still wondering. She was pretty sure James knew that she expected some sort of explanation, but so far, it hadn't come. He had mouthed a silent "Thanks" at her in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and had been his usual self – perhaps even louder-than-usual self at dinner. However, she suspected that this was more to cover up the fact that Sirius was _not_ being his usual self – he was much quieter than usual, managing only a few halfhearted jokes (mostly at Sapphire's expense). After dinner, she had hoped to get James on his own, but he had suddenly relapsed into one of his moods and disappeared. She had been left with no option than to go to the library, to research some facts for Transfiguration.

Now, walking back towards the common room at ten o'clock, she considered again all the possible options. Well – at the moment, she could think of only one thing that could have caused Sirius to react like this – the death of somebody close. But, she pondered as she climbed up a flight of stairs, she had seen Sirius react to his family before, and it had _not_ been like this. Still, maybe –

At that moment, she could have sworn she heard a faint noise, as something shot past her in the corner of her eye. She spun round, but had no time to think before the ground began to rumble beneath her feet, and the staircase she was on slid slowly up and across to another wall. As soon as she had stepped off, the stairs moved away again, leaving her stuck.

Silently, she cursed. She more or less knew where she was, in a dark, little-used corridor, but it would take her nearly ten minutes longer to get back. Heaving a deep sigh, she started walking again.

Slowly, another sound began to force itself upon her ears. Footsteps. She stopped and swung round – perhaps those tiresome stairs had carried some else away too. The footsteps had stopped too, however. Shrugging, she turned back. She must have been hearing her own echo.

But as soon as she started moving again, the footsteps started up again too. They were out of step with her own, and she could have sworn that there were now two sets. Stopping again, she turned.

"Hello?" she called out. She strained her eyes in the strange half-light, but could see no figure approaching.

"Hello, poppet."

Lily swivelled round, and froze.

Four tall figures were standing n front of her in a line, effectively blocking the corridor. At first, she could see only that they were all male.

And then, she managed to put names to faces.

Rodolphus Lestrange… 

_Lucius Malfoy…_

_Antonin Dolohov…_

_Regulus Black…_

Oh no.

She turned on her heel, intending to walk back the way she had come, but there were two people there as well, smirking.

Narcissa and Bellatrix Black.

She was trapped.

Swallowing, she turned back to face the four Slytherins in front.

"Well, aren't you even going to be polite?" Lucius Malfoy drawled. "Silence is no way to greet us."

Lily glared at him icily, and let her hand drift almost casually towards her wand.

"Ah-ah-ah." Malfoy shook his head, but his wand was already out. "That's not nice."

"What do you want?" Lily demanded, determined not to show her fear.

"Well," Bellatrix said smoothly, as she and Narcissa came around to stand with the boys. "I suppose you remember a little incident on Hallowe'en, where you decided to insult Severus Snape?"

"We do believe we owe you something for that," Rodolphus added.

"What?" Lily exclaimed in outrage. "You're not even his friend!"

"Be that as it may, _Mudblood,_" Malfoy said silkily. "He is a Slytherin, and one of our own. Therefore we must…how shall I put it…_avenge_ his defeat."

Lily looked them all in the eye, and realised that they meant business. A sudden shiver shot down her spine, but she still kept her head up, hoping desperately that a plan of escape would flash into her mind.

Nothing came.

"Ahh, look at the ickle Head Girl trying to get away. She's _scared_ of us," Bellatrix said. A scornful smile curved on her lips as though this were the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Bella, don't be silly, she was scared before we even turned up," Narcissa said. "Didn't you hear her calling?" She imitated Lily's voice. "_Hello? Hello?_" A mocking smile appeared on her face too. "As though she honestly expected someone to answer."

"You've got nothing coming to you that you don't deserve," Antonin said fake-cheerfully. 

Simultaneously, all six took a step forward, and Lily looked round behind her at the empty corridor, steeling herself to run. When she looked back, she found six wands, all trained on her.

The next moments seemed to play in slow motion, both at the time, and when Lily looked back.

On seeing the wands, her eyes widened, and she pulled out her own wand.

Six voices shouted "_Stupefy!" _at the same time. Looking back, she remembered hearing, dimly, running footsteps behind her.

Six flashes of red light seemed to travel towards her, almost as if time itself had slowed down to almost a standstill. She watched them advance towards her defenceless body.

Suddenly, at the last moment, she felt a huge push, and was shoved to the side, only to crash against the wall and land painfully on her bag. All six jets of light hit a rather taller figure instead, who crumpled to the floor.

Silence rang through the corridor.

From where she lay, Lily could just about make out, through blurry vision, Lucius Malfoy, as he stepped forward to look at the face of her unknown saviour. He smirked and turned to the others.

"Look what we have here," he called. "The poor little Mudblood's knight in shining armour."

Someone laughed, but another voice piped up. Regulus Black. "Come on, let's go. When that Mudblood wakes up, the first thing she'll do is run for teachers."

"Not if we sort her out properly," snarled Bellatrix's voice.

Lucius stopped her. "Letit go. She'll have worse coming to her in the future. We'll leave." He kicked the motionless body in the stomach, and then in the back, so that it rolled over, and moved out of her view.

Footsteps receded, but it was still some time before Lily was able to roll painfully to a side, rubbing her bruised shoulder painfully. Her vision was almost clear, so she slowly got to her feet, feeling a throbbing where her head had hit the wall, to see who the figure lying face down on the floor was, and gasped as she saw the messy black hair.

It was James.

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N**: Okay, before you all kill me (painfully, yes, I know), I SERIOUSLY apologise for the long wait. I've had exam after exam - first music exams, then final, future-deciding AS Levels, and life in general has been sucky. But now I'm free (well, for a week or so, until I come off study leave and go back to school again), so I shall post as much as I can. And I'm working REALLY hard on Chapter 35 . So keep your fingers crossed for me. And just remember that if you kill me, you'll NEVER get to find out what happens to Sirius and Sapphire, or how Lily and James get it together. Got you convinced? Good.

By the way…how about a little review to pass your time while you wait?


	28. Danger Signs

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**Chapter 28: Danger Signs **

"Well?"

At the tone of Lily's impatient voice, Sirius sighed loudly as she sprang off her chair and came towards him.

"So how's he doing?" she asked worriedly.

"The same as he was at lunchtime. Still unconscious, no change, but there shouldn't be any lasting damage."

"That's _all_ you have to say?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "Look, Lily," he said tiredly. "If you're so worried about James, why don't you just go and visit him? He's been up there for two days now, and I doubt you've even set foot over the doorway."

Lily flushed pink. "I – I have homework," she said lamely.

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, we _both_ believe that."

"I _do_!" Lily gestured at the table. "In fact, I'd better go do it now!" Hurriedly, she walked back.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself." He walked off to his dorm, ignoring a third year that was batting her eyelashes at him.

Lily sat down, feeling glum. Sirius' words were true. Ever since the attack had happened two days ago, when she had nearly been hit by six Stunning spells, but been shoved to a side by James, who had turned up from nowhere and got hit in her stead, she had been unwilling to go to the hospital wing to see him, for reasons she could not explain, even to herself. Instead, she had quizzed – practically interrogated – the Marauders every time one of them came back from a visit. The conversations inevitably ended like the one above, no matter whether it was Remus, Sirius or Peter she was talking to.

Lily groaned inwardly. This was ridiculous. She _had _to go see him – he was like a business partner, for God's sake.

That was it. She would go and visit her fellow Head student. Nothing to it. She packed up and left, before she could back out of it.

Her burst of adrenaline carried her all the way to the hospital wing, and into an argument with Madam Pomfrey on the length of her visit. Having managed to bargain for fifteen minutes, she walked into the cool clean room, and headed towards the bed surrounded by screens at the end.

The first thing that punched her in the face when she stepped around the screen was the explosion of colours and smells that blasted themselves at her senses. The source? A table beside the bed piled high with bunch upon bunch of flowers, all still wrapped neatly in their cellophane wrappers. Dotted around them were boxes of chocolates, all stacked precariously on top of each other. Raising her eyebrows, Lily read a few of the tags: '_Get well soon James darling, love Leana.' 'Hope to see you up soon, all the love in the world, Elise.'_

She made a face. His fan club. From the looks of things, all of this was from them. Not that it was doing him much good.

Taking her gaze off the table, Lily approached the bed, andsat down cautiouslyon a chair beside the head. Unsure of herself, she clasped her hands in her lap, and looked at him. Despite the fact that he was unconscious, she could not help thinking that apart from the pallor of his face, he looked as though he were about to wake up from a deep sleep. He looked different without his glasses –more innocent and vulnerable, and Lily could easily imagine that were he to open his eyes, they would not have their usual sharp focus. His skin was so white that it blended in with the clinical, white bedding and hospital-issue pyjamas. For all of this, his hair stood out in stark contrast, like a raven's feather lying on snow. If it were not for the slight rise and fall of his chest, he could have been almost…

_Don't think it_, Lily told herself sternly. _You're here to visit the boy, not mourn him_. She took a deep breath.

"Hi James," she said quietly. "It's me, Lily. I've come to visit – after two long days. I'm sorry it took me a while – I've had homework." At this statement, Sirius' words echoed back to her, and Lily knew she could not lie, even to someone who couldn't hear her. "Okay, no, it wasn't that. The truth was…I don't know. It was just…hard for me to come up here." She swallowed. "I owe you my thanks, James. You saved me from those Stunners, and I know you paid for it in full."

He had as well. Quite apart from the fact that he was unconscious, when she hadmanaged to gethim up to the Hospital Wing, blood had been dripping from a cut in his head, and Sirius had told her later that there was bruising on his shoulder where he had hit the ground, and on his back, stomach, and ribs where Malfoy had kicked him. Apparently there had also been slight internal bleeding in his stomach – Malfoy had not been gentle. Mostly healed now, of course, but had he been left to himself, there could have been the possibility of death.

Suddenly realizing something as she thought of this, Lily looked back at the still figure.

"I guess I know now what Sergeant Wood was talking about at Alyssa's funeral," she said softly. "You did what Alyssa did, and got hurt in someone else's stead." She sighed. "Nobility. You have that damn streak of nobleness that makes you worry about keeping other people safe, and forget about yourself."

Unconsciously, she reached forward and brushed her hand gently over his hair, pushing it back from his face. The black strands were surprisingly soft to the touch, and as she pushed it away, she felt a rush of tenderness. "I won't be surprised if even your kid has the same fault," she remarked dryly. Suddenly realising she was still smoothing his untameable hair, she pulled her hand away as if it were burnt and flushed, thankful that there was no on there to see her.

"Well…uhm…I don't know if you know it, but…I'm not the only one who's turned up, obviously,. You've had quite a lot of admirers asking after you. Sirius said that apparently they've all been turned away from seeing you…but, uh, the evidence is piled up on that table." Lily smiled fondly. "Sirius is something else entirely. He manages it up here before breakfast, at lunch, and some time in the evening – he says he wants to 'relieve the monotony' of whatever it is you're thinking about there. Personally, I think he's hoping you wake up just because you get sick of hearing his voice so much. And I have no idea how he's getting round Madam Pomfrey so much." Her voice faded at her next words.

"He was the first person I met when I was trying to get you to the Hospital Wing, you know. I was really out of it myself, and I didn't know what to do with you – I ended up levitating you, and then Sirius met me halfway. He went white when he saw you James, I swear, I've never seen anyone look like that. When I managed to get out what had happened, he was so angry –if it weren't for you lying in mid-air and me about to faint, I think – I think he'd have murdered Lucius Malfoy and his cousin, and – and his _brother_, with his own hands."

She looked at the pale face, willing something – _anything_ – to happen, to prove she had a listener.

Nothing did.

"Well…I still don't know why you and him disappeared that day. I asked Remus, and all he did was sigh and say I would find out eventually. I hope I do. I have to admit, I'm curious. And Sirius has _changed_." He had as well. Lily did not understand how someone like Sirius, who she had known for coming up to seven years, could change so completely in the space of one or two days. But now was not the time to be thinking of that, she reminded herself.

"Anyway, Remus and Peter come up here once a day – they're doing their part too. Remus duplicated all his notes, so you don't miss any class work, and Peter's worked out nearlya million strategies for Quidditch, so that if – _when_ you get out, you can get straight to work with the team. You know how good he is at chess; this is like child's play for him." Lily sighed. "And I -" She paused. "I've been doing your bit for the Head work. But you're going to have to take a look at the accounts…w-when you're back. I know I've done something wrong." She laughed nervously. "No surprises there, huh?"

"Miss Evans!" Madam Pomfrey had come around the edge of the screen. "Out! This boy needs his peace – you must have talked his ear off by now." She went back around the curtains, muttering, "…far too many friends visiting . . . no rest at all…"

Lily smiled at the sleeping boy. "Bye," she said in a low voice. "Get well soon…I…we…miss you." She followed Madam Pomfrey out.

Behind the screen, however, there was movement. A muscle twitched, and a few moments later, James' Potter's eyes blinked slowly open.

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

A few days later, James was restored to his friends, still looking wan, but greeted heartily. He spent a lot of time sitting down, and everyone knew of the bandages still around his ribs, and the way he winced slightly and put a hand to his chest when he yawned, but perhaps he found at least a partial reward in Lily's warm friendship and cheerful smiles at him. His general outfit out of school consisted of baggy sweatshirts and jeans, but he was not allowed an exception during school hours. The bandages, clearly visible through his white school shirt, seemed only to spur on his numerous, giggling well-wishers.

Indeed, the Marauders had always been one of the focuses of school attention, either for their pranks, looks, detention records, or even simply because of the bonds of friendship that held them together so closely. But now . . .

Now, only one topic of conversation was riveting all the gossipmongers of Hogwarts. It had outstripped the news of the Head Boy's attack. Indeed, almost everyone at Hogwarts was discussing it, from teachers down to first years, whether with curiosity, shock, admiration, or loathing (a sentiment reserved mainly by the Slytherins).

The subject of all this debate?

Sirius Black himself.

Sirius had always been much sought-after by the female population of Hogwarts. He was dangerously good-looking – his dark hair and grey eyes sent out lethal vibes of attraction to all girls. Combine those with a toned body and that charming, mischievous grin that made him James' twin, and he was a perilous person to entangle your heart with. His eyes alone were the Charybdis, the whirlpool in which most girls drowned helplessly. Despite this, he was always known as a fun-loving prankster, with a bad-boy overtone that was not downplayed by his detention record, which only James could rival.

Suddenly, however, something had altered drastically. Since that fateful day when he had left the hall so quickly at breakfast, his persona had done a gearshift. He constantly had a slightly moody expression on, and now seemed more defiant. The strange dearth of Marauder pranks since they had entered seventh year, which Lily had never truly appreciated, was now being made up for by more or less Sirius alone. Pranks and tricks were being played in their multitudes on both teachers and unsuspecting students (Slytherins), but they now seemed more of an act of rebellion rather than to get a laugh. Streams of students ran out of classrooms holding their noses as Dungbombs were let off in hoards, only tobe targeted by water balloons that fell from every available inch of space above. Eggs and flour showered onto Slytherins wherever they walked. Chalk refused to write, books fell mysteriously onto the floor, chairs tipped over for no apparent reason, legs of tables disappeared, cupboards toppled over when no one was near them. Quills and parchment vanished before a student's eyes, and ink drained away or evaporated the moment the bottle was opened. Professor Flitwick's stack of cushions, which he sat on in order to see over his desk, disappeared from his cupboard, and were found dangling out of a window with ribbons tied to them a few hours later. The tricks were all fairly juvenile, and not particularly original, but the quantity of them seemed to suggest a prank on a grand scale.

Strangely enough, this sudden change in manner, which should have put girls at least somewhat in awe of Sirius, seemed only to increase his appeal.

The cold eyes alone would have scared Lily off, had she been a first-year, but apparently kids these days were made of tougher stuff. He had always been the most dangerous, sexy, and rebellious of the Marauders,and now that had moved to an entirely new level and his allure had increased tenfold. Everything, from the way his hair flicked into his eyes, to the way he lounged back in his chair in lessons, was squealed about in the corridors and common rooms. Yet, with the increase in attention had come Sirius' decrease in interest. Usually playing himself off to the best angle with his fawning admirers, he was now doing the exact opposite. The oddest thing was that he did not _ask_ for any extra attention from them by flirting in any way. The only girls he now even gave the time of day to were Lily and Emma, possibly because he knew they were not falling all over him, possibly out of respect for the fact that they were the objects of affection of two of his best friends (althoughLily wasn't to know that).Although she was _almost _convinced that before long Sirius would return to himself, Lily was still concerned enough to ask James about it.

"Sirius is just…he's working through something," James had said calmly. "He's had to wake up and grow up, and quite frankly, I'm glad he's not punching people to let it out. If pranking is the way forward for him to deal with life, them I'm all for it."

And indeed, James was somehow finding the energy in his bruised and battered body to stay true to the spirit of the Marauders and back Sirius up in every prank he played. Peter was just small enough to sneak into various rooms to place pre-prepared tricks, or to provide an innocent-looking decoy. And angelic as Remus looked, Lily was sure that he was the mastermind behind some of their jokes.

She could not understand any of it.

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

When Lily sat down to do homework with her friends that particular day, neither she nor they had any idea of what was to come. Tensions were running high once again among the seventh years as essay after essay was set. Random pieces of parchment were strewn over the table they were all sharing, among various heavy books borrowed from the Library. James and Peter were nearby, lying on the floor and working arduously (for once) through homework. The atmosphere was fairly peaceful and quiet, until…

The portrait hole swung open, and a babbling crowd of first-years entered, clambering noisily in.

"Hey," James called. "Can you be a little quieter please? We're knee-deep in homework, we need to concentrate."

About half of the first-years shut up and looked as though they were about to wet themselves. The other half eyed James with wary suspicion.

"Ah, don't mind the big bad Head Boy," came a voice. "He's just stressed out." The first-years all turned to see Sirius climbing in after them. Every mouth snapped shut, and they all stared; Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Go on kids, shoo." They all scuttled off, and Sirius headed over, Remus behind him.

"Honestly James, you ought to keep a tighter rein on the firsties," he said leisurely as he threw himself onto a low seat opposite the girls.

"Well you flush my reputation straight down the drain when you say things like 'big bad Head Boy'," James said, dipping his quill into his ink bottle and frowning at his parchment .

"It's my duty to do that," Sirius said. "That, as I have reminded you countless times, is why I'm going to be best man at your wedding."

"And _that_ is why I'm never marrying," James mumbled under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Sirius had sharp ears.

"Yes you are, James," he said. "You're marrying -"

"Black!" Sapphire said, unable to stand it any more. "Could you _please_ be quiet – I really need to finish this."

It was a dangerous thing to do. Sirius' focus switched onto her like a spotlight, though as her head was down, she missed the full effect.

"Oh dear," he said mockingly, "I've disturbed the Great One, Sapphire of the Mud."

"You disturbed me from day one," Sapphire said absently as she skimmed through a page of a huge reference book, yellowed with age and covered with tiny print. "Life was so much more peaceful when you weren't around."

"Forgive me, O Gracious One," Sirius stated sarcastically. "I know I'm a disappointment to the world in general, but it pains me so much more that I disappoint you too."

James looked up swiftly. Something in Sirius' words or tone seemed to have made him uneasy. "Sirius," he said warningly, but the boy ignored him. Remus was watching him warily now too.

"Yes, well, you take away many people's peace of mind with your _antics_, not just mine," Sapphire muttered.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but Lily (who had now looked up to wonder why James was eyeing his best friend carefully) thought this was more to hide an emotion than to express one. "Little Miss Sapphire in the Mud," he said quietly, but with a harsh undertone. "Always insists on acting like she knows more than she actually does. Always second-guessing everyone around her. Always making assumptions about how things work."

That was an even _more_dangerous thing to say.

From nowhere, Sapphire stood up sharply and slammed her book shut with a loud THUD, causing parchment to flutter off the table.

"That is IT!" she exploded. "I have had it up to _here_ with your wisecracks and your smartarse attitude. What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Sapphire," Lily started, recognizing the danger signal in her highly-strung (at the moment) friend. "Why don't you calm -"

"No, Lily," Sapphire snapped, without taking her eyes off Sirius. "I want an answer. You clearly have a problem with me, Black. You continually pick on me. Why?"

Within a few seconds, the tension in the air had risen to an unpleasant pitch. A giant neon sign could not have done a better job of announcing the conflict to the entire population of Gryffindor, as everyone else in the common roomswivelled round.

Noting the sudden decrease in noise, Sapphire half-turned to see the rest of the common room staring back at her.

"What?" she barked. "Mind your own business!"

Quickly, everyone went back to what they were doing, and the sound of chatter rose again. Sapphire looked back at Sirius.

"Well?" she asked, her voice dangerously soft. "I want an answer, for once and for all. What is yourproblem with me?"

**-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-**

**A/N: Oooh, cliffie...and in my mind, it hasn't lost too much of its momentum from when I first wrote it (though I suppose the effect is a little lower for those of you that read this the first time round and know what happens next...) Still. Posts as often as possible, right? And until then, I would very much appreciate a review from all you nice people. Go on...hit that button...**


	29. On Both Sides Of The Wall

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thanks to ALL of you who reviewed, because you all rock my socks ENORMOUSLY!**

-&-

**Chapter 29: On Both Sides of the Wall**

There was silence. James and Remus were both watching Sirius intently, whose expression was twisted up into a half sneer. Emma had a warning hand on Sapphire's arm, and Lily was half out of her seat. Peter had got to his feet, watching them carefully. Sapphire herself was using her height to her fullest advantage – standing up, she towered over her arch-enemy, who was still lounged on his beanbag seat.

"What?" Sapphire demanded angrily. "Is it my hair that offends you, or the way I speak? What is it that constantly makes you taunt me? Why do you have such a huge problem with me? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

She was so worked up in a frenzy of angry emotion that she did not realise the wisps of hair lying on her face as they drifted out of her bun. All her energy was being used in her glare – if looks could kill, the boy opposite would have been six feet under by now, with third-degree burns.

Sirius, his expression still that of a mocking sneer, opened his mouth. "I ha -" he started, in a disdainful voice.

Then, all of a sudden, he stopped and shut his mouth. Lily watched as he frowned, opened his mouth, took a breath as if to speak, and then closed it again. His frown deepened, his eyes still fixed on Sapphire's furious face.

It seemed as though all five of the onlookers were holding their breaths for Sirius' reply, but he appeared to have no intention of giving one soon. His forehead creased even further as he looked at her, and he narrowed his eyes.

Suddenly, he froze, his body tensed up. A look of shocked realization spread across his handsome features, and a tinge of…_horror?…_ followed it. His face drained of colour.

For the first time, he dropped his gaze from Sapphire to the carpet, shaking his head, much like a dog, as if to clear it.

"Padfoot?" Peter said uncertainly. Sirius ignored him, and looked back up at Sapphire. For a few moments, the surprise was still evident on his face, but slowly, and clearly with a lot of energy, he forced his face back to a carefully neutral expression.

"Well?" Sapphire said, sounding almost at the verge of hysterics. "What's it going to be? Why do you have such an issue with me?"

Sirius' thin self-control was slipping – it was clear to everyone how he was losing it. A fixated glare from Sapphire brought him to his feet, facing her, and traces of anger began to creep through.

"Fine," he ground out, through gritted teeth. "You want to know?" The moment the words were out of his mouth, he looked as though he regretted them.

"Finally, he gets it!" Sapphire cried, with a half-hysterical laugh. "Finally, I've got through to Black's thick head! Yes, you arsehole, I want to know why this always happens!"

Sirius breathed heavily, patches of pink appearing on his cheeks. Not until he had himself fully under control, face blank of emotion, did he open his mouth again.

"I…like you?"

Even as he said it, Lily saw the honest shock in his eyes at hearing himself say the words out aloud, as if that had finally cemented what he had just realised.

Deep blue eyes met stormy grey ones.

"Well?" Sapphire said, as though she hadn't heard his words. "Are you asking a question, or telling me the reason, Black? Time's ticking."

Sirius' face was unreadable. "I like you," he said in a low, controlled tone. "Happy now?"

He wheeled round and walked out of the common room.

-&-

For the second time in ten minutes, there was complete and utter silence. Every single face looked shell-shocked, apart from Sapphire, who was wearing the most horrified expression Lily had ever seen.

After a few moments, James cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh…sorry, excuse us…" The three boys got up and walked out, leaving all three girls more or less motionless.

Slowly, Sapphire sank back into her chair and put her face into her hands. After a moment, she raised her head slightly.

"Someone tell me the last few minutes were just figments of my imagination," she said through her fingers.

Lily could only shake her head dumbly.

-&-

As James led Remus and Peter down the corridor, part of him was wondering where he was going to find his best friend. The other, rather larger part was busy replaying and re-replaying the last conversation, and wondering if it was possibly for someone to have taken Polyjuice Potion to act as Sirius. Perhaps he was about to find out that this was all a big joke.

Perhaps not. As they rounded the corner, a dark figure was sitting down, curled up with head in arms against the wall, and without a shadow of a doubt, James knew that this was the real Sirius. So much for hoping that this was an elaborate prank.

"Padfoot?" Remus said quietly. "It's us."

There was nothing, and then Sirius raised his head off his arms. "Tell me I did not just say what I think I said back there," he said hoarsely.

Peter shrugged. "Wish we could, mate."

-&-

"Okay," Sapphire wiped her cheeks, "so can someone tell me this is just some stupid prank Black's pulling on me?"

Emma shook her head. "He didn't look like he was joking, Saffy."

"But – but this _has_ to be a prank!" Sapphire burst out. "Black doesn't like me – I don't even – and he knows I hate his – this is all some set-up – they probably just went out so they could bust a gut laughing – it can't - " She held up her hands, as if in surrender. "Look, I can even take it well. Ha ha, very funny, joke's OVER."

"Saffy." Lily enunciated each word carefully. "I really don't think this is any kind of joke."

-&-

"Please let this be a joke," Sirius groaned. "Some sick twisted joke my mind is playing on me!" He looked up hopefully. "Or someone could just shoot me and get it over with..."

James, Remus and Peter all exchanged glances.

"We would," James said, with a straight face, "but seeing as we're the only people here, we'd be incriminated too easily. Not Marauder style at all."

Sirius buried his head in his arms again and let out a muffled groan. "You know what? From now on, just carry one of those gags around with you, and if I ever look like I'm about to put my foot in my mouth, use it."

"Right," Peter said, trying to get a laugh out of Sirius. "That can go on your Christmas list."

"Uh, Padfoot? Seriously, just to clear all doubts, _was_ this some sort of prank gone wrong?" Remus questioned.

Sirius shook his head.

"So you _do_ like her?"

-&-

"HE DOES NOT LIKE ME!" Sapphire nearly threw herself out of her chair, hands pressed over her ears. "Don't say that! You're all in this together with that bastard!"

Emma and Lily winced at her choice of wording.

"No we're not," Lily said placatingly. "We're with you all the way, you know that. We're just…"

"…telling you what we saw." Emma looked earnestly at her friend. "I think he really does…you know…"

"No he does NOT!"

"Saffy, face the facts. You saw the look on his face as well as any of us."

"So?"

"So…I think he only just realised…that he, uhm…" Lily paused, trying to put it in the way that would be least offensive to Sapphire's ears, "…that he…had feelings for you."

"The question is," Emma put in, "do you like him?"

-&-

"No! Yes! Maybe – I don't – I don't know."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Sirius, that made it _perfectly _clear to all of us poor souls who _don't_ live in your world."

"I don't know! I opened my mouth to tell her I hated her, and – and I couldn't get the words out."

"So you _do_ like her then?"

"I - "

"I'll take that to mean a yes," James said dryly. "Mr. Sirius Black, Player Extraordinaire, the original Bad Boy himself, has fallen for the one girl who won't fall for him."

"Prongs!" Remus shoved James with his elbow. "Be a little tactful."

"James Potter's the name, brutal honesty's the game." James cocked his head. "Face it Padfoot, you act like a five-year-old every time she comes near you."

-&-

"It's not my fault!" Sapphire moaned, head on the table, apparently not paying attention to Emma. "It's not my fault that he had to go spew out a load of crap – not that he doesn't do that every time he opens his mouth, but still! Pricks and arseholes are only meant to like _other_ pricks and arseholes! I'm not a prick or an arsehole!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "I take it you don't return his feelings?"

"Do I LOOK like I return them?" Sapphire demanded furiously.

"Clearly not," Lily muttered.

Sapphire put her head in her hands again. "Why did this happen? Why did it have to happen to _me_?"

-&-

"It's not my fault!" Sirius protested. "She just always brings out the worst in me."

"Well apparently that didn't stop you from…well, liking her."

"This is so wrong," Sirius groaned. "It wasn't meant to be like this."

The four of them were quiet for a moment, casting flickering shadows against the wall as they considered the best course of action.

In the end, there was only _one_ course of action.

"Padfoot," Remus said carefully. "You know what you have to do, don't you?" He paused. "You have to talk to her."

-&-

"What?!?" Sapphire cried.

"You know that's what you have to do, Saffy. You have to talk to him and get things straight."

"That's just plain unfair!"

"Well, that's life," Emma said comfortingly.

"I don't like life!" Sapphire said petulantly.

Deciding not to point out the fact that this statement made little sense, Lily sighed. "Saffy, seriously, you _need_ to talk to him. Now."

-&-

"Noo!" Sirius half-shouted.

-&-

"NO!" Sapphire yelled.

-&-

"Come on Sirius, you'll have to do it some time – if you're going to spring a bombshell on her, you owe it to her to explain a bit. Walking out doesn't tell her much," Remus reasoned persuasively.

Sirius looked around him. "Actually, I'm quite happy out here. I could Summon a few cloaks to sleep on for the rest of the year, and you guys could bring me food."

-&-

"Saffy, you'll have to talk to him some time – you can't tell me you can avoid him for the next – well, for the rest of the school year."

"Yes I can," Sapphire said obstinately. "I'll stay in the girls' dorms. Emma can bring me food, and you can lend me your notes from all your classes."

-&-

"Try to feed your bottomless stomach? Yeah, right," Peter retorted. "Remus' right, as usual. Realistically, Sirius you have to talk to her soon, so you may as well get it over with now."

Sirius leaned his head against the wall, and let out a long breath. "I suppose you're right," he said, in a strangled voice. He stood up and dusted himself off. "Now or never, right?"

"Right," James said encouragingly.

"Full steam ahead," put in Peter. Remus raised an eyebrow at him, and Peter shut his mouth, rolling his eyes when Remus turned away.

With the slow step of a doomed man walking to the scaffold, Sirius began to head back to the portrait. His expression? Well, it would not have been out of place at a funeral.

James turned to Peter, the encouraging tone fading from his voice. "Dead man walking."

-&-

"If you think," Lily said firmly, "that I am going to encourage you staying in the dorms, then you've got another think coming."

"Look, Saffy," Emma pleaded. "All you have to do is have one little, five-minute talk with the boy, tell him thanks but no thanks, and then IT'S ALL OVER. Forever. Is that so hard?"

"Yes," Sapphire said stubbornly.

Emma sighed and looked over Sapphire's head at Lily. "Any blackmail material we can use against her?" she asked.

Lily looked thoughtful. "Nope, don't think so. Not at the moment."

"Ha!" Sapphire said triumphantly. "You can't make me do anything!"

Emma sighed again. "Well, that _does_ only leave one option," she said. "Force."

"What?" Sapphire screeched, as her friends grabbed her by the elbows and dragged her bodily out of her chair. She scrabbled frantically at the table in a useless attempt to gain purchase. "You can't do this!"

"You've given us no other choice," Lily pointed out. She and Emma frogmarched a struggling Sapphire halfway across the room before she suddenly gave in and went limp, making them stop.

"Fine," she said wearily. "I'll talk to him." She rubbed her eyes. "But I am NOT responsible for anything I do or say out there."

"Duly noted," Lily said impatiently. "Now go get this over with."

As they watched Sapphire take the smallest, slowest steps possible to the portrait hole, Lily looked round at Emma. "God, this is like the Titanic, except without the romance, because the ship sank before it even set off."

Emma looked confused.

"Muggle thing," Lily said quickly.

-&-

Sirius managed it almost up to the Fat Lady. James and Remus were both poised in case he turned and ran, but so far, there seemed to be no trouble.

It was when he opened his mouth, presumably to say the password, that he shut it again, and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I can't do this," he said quietly. "I honestly can't." He slumped against the wall next to the portrait, his back against the stone.

-&-

Lily and Emma watched as Sapphire dragged her feet reluctantly towards the entrance, half-expecting her to turn and flee, but she didn't. Slowly, she put her hand on the back of the picture, to push it open, and then dropped it back to her side.

"Forget it. Really I – I can't go through with this," she said wearily. "Not now."

Lily opened her mouth to argue, but Emma put an arm on her shoulder, effectively silencing her. They observed Sapphire lean back on the wall next to the entrance and sigh, her hands flat against the stone, supporting her back.

-&-

Unbeknownst to the other, both Sirius and Sapphire, leaning on either side of the same wall, one in the bright light of the common room, the other in a dark corridor lit only by torchlight, groaned quietly and put a hand to their foreheads, before simultaneously uttering just two words.

"Why me?"

-&-

By the time Sirius re-entered the common room, it was more or less empty. Without bothering to look around, he headed straight for his dormitory, clearly having no intention of talking. Not that it would have done much good if he had, as the only person left on the couch was Lily, her head turned away from them. Sapphire had gone up to bed with Emma, who was ever the persuasive peacemaker, and Lily had enough sense to let Emma calm Sapphire down a little more before she went up herself.

Remus, seeing Lily watching the dancing flames, nudged James. "Go talk to her," he whispered.

"Why?" James muttered.

"Because, you idiot, we need some kind of communication going on, or this will never get sorted."

Accepting this as a valid point, James let his best friends go on up, and walked over to Lily, sitting down opposite. She turned, startled.

"Oh, it's you," she said, smiling with relief. "Hi."

"Weird night, huh?" James said, stretching himself out and yawning.

"Tell me about it," Lily agreed. She eyed him. "You should really go to bed, you know."

"So should you."

"I'm waiting for things to calm down in the dorm."

"So am I."

"Point taken."

"Good." James put his hands behind his head. "You know, when I told Remus I was sure we would have an exciting night, after McGonagall handed out those essay questions, I was being _sarcastic_. I didn't expect this."

"I don't think anyone did," Lily said sleepily.

"It's a pity Sapphire had to go and start things off, isn't it?" James yawned again, but Lily had lifted her head suddenly.

"Come again?"

"Well, if she hadn't asked him to shut up, they wouldn't have ended up like this."

Lily had sat up fully. "Saffy start this? Correct me if I'm wrong, but all I heard was her asking politely if he could let her finish her essay, and he started in on her. No 'shut up' there."

"Well he wasn't doing much, was he? Besides, take away the politeness, and you've got a basic 'shut your trap'. That's what she meant."

"How would you know? And anyway, she still said it politely, so there was no call for him to start making fun of her!"

Both girl and boy were now glaring at each other, eyes narrowed. Their voices were rising. Each time Lily's grew a shade louder, James' tones rose to match it.

"She told him to shut up!"

"She asked him politely!"

"She still told him to shut up!"

"But she still asked him politely!"

"It's not illegal to talk!"

"Well, we were all working, he could have talked some other time!"

"He was trying to lighten the mood! God knows you needed it!"

Lily stared angrily at him. They were both so caught up in glaring at each other that everything else, including the slight click of the portrait hole closing, escaped them.

"Since when did this get personal?"

"Since you started insulting my best friend and blaming him for things he didn't do!"

"You are the most _infuriating_ boy – no, PRAT – that I've ever met!" she declared.

"Good to know I've gained a title." James smiled sardonically.

Lily huffed. "I'm going to bed before this gets even uglier."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

They got up in unison and walked towards their respective dormitories, but neither had actually reached the stairs when Remus came clattering down the stairs.

"Is -?" Stopping, he looked round the empty common room, and his face turned slightly paler than usual. "Ah. James, we have a problem."

James raised his eyebrows. "What's the matter?"

"Uh…Padfoot's not in the dorm." Remus caught sight of Lily, still staring at them from her staircase, and seemed to choose his next words very carefully. "He's not on the..uhm, Marauder's…aid, either."

James' eyes widened. "You're not being serious? He's gone to H-?" Remus quirked an eyebrow at him, and James, remembering that Lily was still in the room, cut himself off as Remus nodded. "How did he -?"

"I left him on his bed and went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he wasn't there any more," Remus said miserably. "So I checked the, uhm…thing that I checked, and he wasn't on it. That only leaves one place he can be."

"Oh shite," James said, in a voice that, for him, was close to frantic. He ran a hand though his hair and looked at his watch. "And at this time too – God, what was he _thinking_?"

"Knowing him, he wasn't thinking at all. Which is why we have to go bring him back from You-Know-Where, using You-Know-What. You know what he'll be like."

"Are you kidding me? Okay, so we do it on f -" remembering Lily, James changed mid-sentence, "special days, but this is different. Isn't there anything else?" He tilted his head, wearing an expression which Lily couldn't see, but Remus evidently _could_ see and understand, because he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah Prongs, _mastermind_ idea, let's go up, sit on our beds, and twiddle our thumbs while singing Ten Green Bottles so we can pass the time until he comes back." He snorted sarcastically. "Are you crazy?"

"Are _you_ crazy?" James shot back. "Hate to have to bring this up, but I'm Head Boy – I'll get murdered for - "

Remus looked exasperated. "Who else is there? Pete's disappeared, and I can't do it by myself. Besides, he only listens to you. Take the damn badge off and let's go."

James seemed to deflate a little. "Okay, yeah, you're right," he said, grimacing. "Have you got the, er - "

Remus held up a satchel. "I've got our cloaks, plus Sirius' knife, the uh, aid, and your…spare cloak which makes you extra…warm." A look passed between the two of them which Lily did not understand.

"Right then," James said, putting the satchel on. "We'll get our stuff on outside."

"Hold on a minute," Lily spoke up, stepping forward from her stairs to face them. "Where're you going?"

James turned impatiently. "Not now, Lily, it's none of your business."

He had said the wrong thing – again.

Lily's eyes glittered dangerously as she took a step forward. "_You _may have forgotten your responsibilities, but _I'm_ still Head Girl, therefore it _is_ my business if you decide to go gallivanting around in the middle of the night."

"Like hell it is!" James snapped, his temper getting the better of him again. "What I do is none of your concern! And anyway, I'm not _gallivanting_."

"Then what's wrong with Sirius?" Lily persisted. "Where is he that so worries you that you have to leave the common room at _this_ time of night?"

"He's…" James searched for an appropriate excuse.

"…drowning his sorrows?" Remus murmured under his breath.

James elbowed him. "Shut up!" he hissed from the corner of his mouth. He took a deep breath. "Lily, just go to bed." At Lily's rebellious look, he almost groaned out loud. "Look, I don't have the time to spoon-feed you the details of everything I do. Sirius is fine, I'm fine, we're all fine, we just have things to do. Go to bed, and I'll see you in the morning." Without waiting for a reply, he and Remus took off.

Lily watched the portrait hole swing shut. Angrily, she walked back to the sofa and sat down, determined to wait for them, even if it took all night. She fully intended to give them a piece of her mind when they got back from whatever god-forsaken jaunt they were off on.

She _would_ sit and wait.

And so, lulled by the gentle crackle of the dying flames, she fell asleep.

A/N: I seriously apologise for the LOOOOOONG delay in getting this chapter up. The fact is, this term has been the most stressful of my life, and I've been caught up in applying to university. What I DO want you guys all to know is that I will carry this on and finish it, but that I can't guarantee updates on a regular (i.e. weekly) basis. But thank you to all of you who reviewed and prodded me to update so much - I appreciate it :D

Also, yeah, I know the Titanic thing is a bit of an anachronism, because the film wasn't around when they were, but bear with me. It fitted, so I stuck it in. Sorry if you didn't like it.


	30. Hitting The Rocks

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

-&-

**Chapter 30: Hitting the Rocks**

Everything had, quite literally, in a metaphorical sense, hit the rocks.

Hit the rocks; gone down the drain, out of the window, into the fire, down the toilet; whichever way you cared to put it, things had gone very wrong between Lily and James since that fateful night.

Their friendship, or at least the general goodwill between them, was something that Lily had come to count on. Aside from the Polyjuice incident and the minor drama at the funeral, it had been a constant that Lily had relied on for at least part of her good mood. Since James had deflated his head a little, he had shown the other sides of himself that had been downplayed before by his egotism, and it was this that had brought them closer. Both with similar understandings and characters, they fitted well, but yet were still always able to challenge each other. It was odd, really, how much James seemed to know about her, most of which she couldn't remember telling him.

Now, over the last day or so, suddenly, it was like they were back to the way it had been for the first three years. She couldn't remember being this…_exasperated_ with him in weeks, and yet now she only had to see his messy black hair to feel curls of infuriated annoyance begin to unwind in the pit of her stomach.

Somehow, the way they had parted that night had put them both straight onto the wrong foot. When Lily opened her eyes again, she looked around in the morning light and discovered that she had slept in the common room all night, sitting on the sofa in her clothes, arms still folded across her chest. She checked her watch, realising that most people were probably at breakfast, and then started as a small piece of paper fluttered onto her lap; it must have been tucked into the fold of her arms. Opening it, she read it over, and clucked her tongue in exasperation.

_Lily,_

_I told you to go to bed._

_James_

Lily rolled her eyes. Typical, overbearing James. She looked over it again, and for some reason, this seemed only to increase her irritation of spirits. The remembrance that he had left her there all night in the common room did not help. _Gee, thanks for your kindness, James_, she thought ironically, as she made her way down to the Great Hall. She swept her messy hair off her face, and then caught sight of a black-haired head halfway down. Her friends were sitting further on, but the sight of his hair, which her own now nearly resembled, made her come to an abrupt, though silent, decision.

She walked down the length of the table, head high, and as she passed, raised an arm and cuffed him round the head. He turned immediately.

"Oh. It's you."

"Yes, it's me," Lily said sharply, running a hand through her hair again. "I'm sorry, did I _hurt_ you there?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Had a good night's sleep?" he questioned, in a tone unmistakably sarcastic.

"Well you wouldn't know, would you?" Lily snapped. "Not after leaving me there so kindly all night. I was so amazed at your generosity, I forgot to thank you."

"Hey." James held up his hands, as if in defence. "I told you to go to bed."

"Yeah." Lily snorted. "Thanks for the fabulous little note you left too." She pulled it out of her pocket and crumpled it in her fist, before tossing it into James' lap. "_That's_ what I think of _that_." She eyed him. "God, you think you're so wonderful. As if I'm going to outleap a frog when you tell me to jump, just because you're the Great James Potter. I don't do _everything_ you tell me to!" The minor fact that this statement did not really apply any more had escaped Lily – she was incensed at James once again, and all her old first-to-sixth year arguments against him were coming back into play, valid or not.

"It was for your own good," James said heatedly.

"I -" Suddenly, Lily realised she was beginning to attract the attention of other students along the table. Smiling sweetly, she grabbed James' arm, not sparing a glance for anyone else, and hauled him outside.

"How do you even know what's good for me?" she hissed."'It seems like everything you've done in the last eight hours _at least_ has been bad for me."

James' face was set. "You think you know everything about other people, Lily, when you don't. Just go back to your friends and leave me."

"There you go again!" Lily cried. "Ordering me around. You're so overbearing!"

"I may have many faults, but being overbearing is not one of them!" James shot back. "Besides, at least I _admit_ to my faults!"

"I admit to faults just fine!"

"Oh yeah?" James challenged. "Come on then, name me one right now."

Lily glared at him. "My biggest fault was to give in and think that you were worth the time of day!" she spat, before stalking off.

And things had simply deteriorated from there.

**-&-**

It didn't help, of course, that Sirius and Sapphire were avoiding each other like the plague. The little 'talk' that they were supposed to have had clearly never been high on their list of priorities, as neither had ever got around to it – instead, they could barely stand to be in the same room, apart from classes; and even then, they couldn't be still unless at opposite ends of the room. The glares were replaced with furtive looks, if at all, which were just as unproductive, and even more irritating for the others.

Remus and Emma, being the only two people who could be in the same room together _and_ communicate without instigating fights, had tried hard to schedule several "accidental" meetings between the two, all of which had been unsuccessful, even in just getting them within ten metres of each other. Altogether, Emma could not even remember the number of times she had tried all the persuasive skills in her power.

Persuasion: "Come on, Saffy, _please_ just talk to him and get it over?"

Bribery: "If you would just sort things out with him, I _swear_ I'll buy you a ton of chocolate next Hogsmeade trip."

Blackmail: "Ok, that's it, you don't talk to that boy, and I'll write to your parents and tell them _every last sordid detail_ of this."

All of which were met with no good response.

From the sound of it, Remus was going through exactly the same thing with Sirius. Really, it was like talking to a brick wall.

Actually, it was _worse_ than talking to a brick wall. At least a brick wall would have stayed in one place and listened politely. It would not throw up non-existent hands and disappear.

**-&-**

"All right class, you know what you're doing. Simply put the theory into practice and let us see some _sparks_." Professor Flitwick sat down with a dismal sigh, and waited for the havoc to begin.

"Right," Lily said shortly, turning to face James. "Do you want to go first, or should I?"

"You." James looked half-asleep, lounging in his chair.

Lily pulled out her wand, and focused on the charm they were working on today; a tricky spell to make a feather float in mid-air, and then write, in sparkly writing, a word or phrase. _Start small_, she reminded herself.

"_Asperito Scribus 'hello',"_ she said, flourishing her wand. The feather rose and hovered, before writing, in a cursive sparkly green font, 'Olleh'. Irked, she tried again, with the same result.

"That's not right," James said lazily. "It's more of a flick at the end, and it's not scri-bus, it's scri-BUS."

"What would you know about it?" Lily snapped. Her temper was still short from the arguments before.

"Only what Flitwick told us," James replied coolly. "But that's enough."

"Would you _stop_ acting like such a know-it-all?" Lily bit out. "I know you think that you're some kind of Transfiguration whiz, but give me credit. Charms is _my_ subject. I don't need tutoring in that too."

"I'm not tutoring, I'm helping. But fine, suit yourself."

Muttering under her breath, Lily grudgingly did as he had told her, and, as expected, the quill rose up and inscribed the word 'Hello' in the air.

She could imagine the insufferably smug look on James' face, but it wasn't there as she turned briefly. "Thanks," she said brusquely.

James shrugged. "No problem." He yawned.

"It doesn't mean you can help me at every twist and turn, you know. I _can_ do it for myself."

"I never said you couldn't! God, Lily, why're you biting my head off so much?"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Then why have you started so many arguments with me today?"

"I have NOT been starting arguments! When did I -" Lily broke off as James yawned again. "Oh, for God's sake, will you _stop_ doing that! I don't know where you partied all night, but it's your own fault if you can't even stay awake the next day!"

"I was not _partying_," James said sharply.

"Oh don't lie," Lily scoffed. "I'm not _that_ much of a fool. What'd you do then, rescue Sirius from some blonde bimbo and get distracted by the size of her best friend's chest?"

"Will you _stop_ putting words in my mouth?" James said hotly. "I wasn't doing anything of the sort! If your best friend was knocking back Firewhiskey in the Hog's Head at one in the morning, wouldn't you -" He stopped, clamping his mouth shut as he realised what he had just said, but the damage was done.

Lily's eyes had widened. "_WHAT_?" she whispered furiously. "Good _God_, you went to a _pub_? At _one in the morning_? What were you _thinking_? Were you even thinking _at all_ – what _possessed _you or Sirius to go _there_? You could have been _expelled_ if anyone found out – and you're Head Boy as well – why must you insist on picking the _stupidest_ choice -"

"I didn't _have_ a choice, Lily," James interrupted, his face hard. "Where my friends are concerned, there _is_ no choice – they come first every time. If I didn't go, what would you suggest Sirius do when he was drunk and alone?"

"_What_?" Lily repeated dumbly. She looked horrified. "He shouldn't have been there in the first place! And it's all great to say this – _until _you end up at home after getting checked out of Hogwarts before you even take your NEWTs! -"

"Enough!" James said angrily. "Let's just – just leave it, Lily!"

And for the remainder of the lesson, the two of them practiced the spell in complete, cold, silence.

**-&-**

As they left the classroom, Lily, steeling herself one final time, tapped James on the shoulder, and he turned, his face slipping into a here-we-go-again look as he saw her.

"What?"

"Meeting tonight at seven, remember?" Lily watched as James looked at her, then at Sirius, and back.

"Uh…" he said finally. "I might not be able to make it."

"What?" Lily demanded. "Why not?"

James, looking anywhere but at her, sighed in exasperation before muttering something in which only the word "broomstick" was discernible. For Lily, though, it was the only word she needed to hear.

"Let me guess," she said scornfully. "You and your _friends_ are going to go flying and leave me to sit and deal with the posters all by myself. I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything better."

James narrowed his eyes, waving one hand at Remus and Sirius, who were both waiting patiently outside, to indicate that they should go. "Excuse me if I spend a lot of my time trying to get my best friend out of his mood," he said in a low, controlled tone. "I was under the impression that that was what best friends _did_ for each other. How stupid I must be."

Sensing an argument – _another_ argument – Emma darted in. "Come on, Lily," she said, firmly, grasping her friend's arm.

"You just make sure you're there," Lily called, as she was pulled away.

**-&-**

All in all, Lily thought, as she collapsed into bed that night, the last two hours she had spent with James could have been worse. They had been working on the posters that were to go up soon to advertise the Winter Ball, and had managed to do fairly well.

As if echoing her thoughts, Emma's voice sounded from the next bed.

"How was it?"

"Okay," Lily said, injecting a false confidence into her voice. "We didn't fight once."

Through the darkness, she could see the faint outline of Emma's form, which had now sat up.

"Really?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Really," Lily confirmed.

"That must be some kind of miracle," Emma murmured, as she lay back down. A minute later, she sat bolt upright again. "Wait, what am I saying? There's no such thing as a miracle where you two are concerned – you've been going at it all day.' Her tone was suspicious. 'You're not telling me something. How did you manage not to argue?"

"Well…it might have something to do with the fact that…we didn't talk at all," Lily admitted.

"_What_?"

"And…we were at opposite ends of the room," she added guiltily.

There was a moment's silence, then Emma sighed. "I knew it," she said.

Lily pulled the covers up to her chin. "I don't get it, Em," she said miserably. "Why are we suddenly at each other's throats? I can't understand it now, and yet the minute I see him, it's like someone else takes over."

She could almost _hear_ Emma roll her eyes. "You two are hopeless," she mumbled. Nothing more was said between the girls, and soon, Lily, listening to the deep, even breaths of Emma, fell asleep herself.

**-&-**

The next morning, the posters were up, and Lily marvelled at the effect a few simple words could have. By afternoon, the castle seemed to be full of giggling girls, and boys who looked even more awkward than usual at the prospect of having to ask the opposite sex to be dates. The expectant atmosphere did not do anything to improve Lily's sour mood. She was doing everything in her power to avoid James, or ignore him if they _were _in each other's vicinity. Her frazzled nerves could not take much more of the tense state of mind she was in, always on edge in case he came near. So far, she had managed to keep it up for…

Well, it was lunchtime. Only another twelve hours or so for the day, she thought, picking at her sandwich. Emma had disappeared with Remus, and Sapphire – well, considering the fact that Sirius was sitting at the other end of the table, Sapphire's absence was automatically explained. Sighing, Lily looked at her watch, realised there was still almost an hour to go before the end of lunch, and decided that she was better off wasting her time in the library than in here. Accordingly, she got up and made her way out of the hall.

Lost in her thoughts, mostly about sleep and why she seemed to lack it, Lily found herself automatically following the well-trodden path to the library-

"Ooof!"

A loud clatter sounded, and Lily looked up to see whose chest she had walked into.

Of course. Who _else_ would it be, but her least favourite person at this point in time? James.

"Watch where you're going, would you!" he growled, as he bent to pick up his bag, and a stack of books which were apparently the source of the clatter.

And as much as Lily tried to fight it, tried to slap herself out if it and shut up, in the end, she could not stop the words that spilled out of her mouth.

"Well, I'm sorry, but clearly _you_ weren't _watching where you were going_, or you'd have avoided me!"

James snorted. "Typical Lily," he said disparagingly, as he attempted to cram books into his arms. "You have some serious issues. As usual."

"My issue is YOU!" Lily retorted. "_Why_ do you keep arguing with me? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" James asked incredulously. "With _me_? Lily, the problem here is _you_."

"No it isn't. You, James, are the one who has the problem with timekeeping."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" James threw up his hands. "I was _five_ minutes late yesterday! At least I showed up!"

"Yeah, because we all know you'd rather be ditching the work, as usual."

"I didn't _do_ anything like that, and you know perfectly well I've been pulling my weight!"

"Well _that's_ a miracle – you still slither out of responsibility whenever you can."

"No I bloody well don't!" James said angrily.

"Really? You wriggle out so well, it's a wonder you aren't in Slytherin!"

She knew she had gone too far when she saw the look in James' eyes. His face hardened as he straightened slowly up to his full height. His fists clenched around his books, and for a moment, Lily thought he was actually going to hit her.

"Little Miss Lily Evans," he said coldly. "Head Girl of Hogwarts, always studying, always keeping her grades _top-notch_ so she can be a goody-two-shoes. You know what your problem is? You're too uptight. You've got a stick up your arse, and until you get it out, you're never going to be a normal person."

Lily gaped at him "What?"

James carried on, his voice harsh and relentless. "You think that because you get perfect grades, and _always_ follow the rules, that it somehow makes you a perfect person, better than the rest of us. Like you're up on a pedestal or something, and that gives you the right to correct everyone else. Well guess what? It _doesn't_."

By now, Lily was glaring straight back at him. Indeed, it was hard to say who was glowering more – the force of either would have ignited a wet branch.

"Well, I'm not the one who swaggers around, thinking I'm clever just because I can slip out of detentions and classes alike, and still get good marks. Unlike you, I actually _work_ for them." She laughed nastily. "Of course, _working for something_ isn't exactly anything you would grasp the concept of, is it?" Her voice was rising steadily.

"God Lily, just get over yourself for once," James spat.

"I'm not the one that needs to do that," she shot back. "Trying to understand you is just – you giving me a headache."

"Oh don't worry, the feeling's _entirely_ mutual," James said coldly. His eyes glimmered threateningly behind his glasses. "I suggest you lose the attitude problem – fast."

Lily could have screamed in frustration. "You are completely _crazy_ – you're the one who's got this thing of insulting me whenever you see me!"

"Maybe," James said, in a dangerous tone, "we should just stay out of each other's way." Without another word, he strode off.

**-&-**

Lily, for her part, remained angry with him for about as long as it took her to reach the library – in other words, about five minutes. Then, as her frustration peaked, self-doubt began to leak in. Was she really right to have insulted him like that?

Yes, of course she was, she reminded herself sternly; he had come back her with exactly the same things. She put her head in her hands, and for a few minutes, let the tears come out, in pure weakness from the shock.

_Do I really behave like that?_ She wondered. _I don't continually correct people…_too _much…my friends can put up with me…can't they?_

As much as she tried to block it, James' unforgiving words were coming back to her, and haunting her more than she cared to admit: …_goody two-shoes…too uptight…better than the rest of us…never be a normal person…_

Consequently, all the way through her afternoon classes, she was in a downright miserable mood, although she was not sure if it was because she was upset over what James had said to her, or guilt-ridden over what she had said to _him_. Chin in hand, she dully took note after note, keeping her head down, unwilling to show how much he had got to her. She avoided looking at him, so had no idea how he was feeling after the outburst, but instead debated over what in heaven's name she was supposed to do next. Her friends, sensing her depression, either left her alone, or tried to lighten the mood with jovial chatter, with which she would normally have joined in – if it weren't for the leaden feeling in her stomach. She hadn't told them what had happened, though she guessed that Emma had worked some part of it out, with her usual intuitiveness.

At long, long last, dinner was over, and Lily was planning to walk back to the Tower, finish homework in her dorm, and go to bed early. She wondered vaguely where Tom was – she hadn't really seen him for a day or two now.

All of a sudden, a hand gripped her arm, and as she swung round, she saw James' typically messy hair. He muttered a short phrase roughly into her ear, before turning and walking off in the opposite direction.

"Heads' Room, eight o' clock."

What did he want now?

**-&-&-&-**

**A/N**: Heh. Another cliffie. I'm evil, aren't I? And before you start complaining, yes, I know all the arguments they had against each other are mostly FROM the years when James thought Lily was a stick-in-the-mud, and Lily thought James was a slacker, but there IS a reason. They need to attack each other, and the easiest arguments are the ones they've been using for six years, so they're getting dredged up again.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your reviews - and again, apologies for my slow updates - life is extremely busy, so this tends to kind of fall to the wayside. I have to say a big thanks to all of you who reviewed/emailed/promised to hunt me down if I didn't get a move on, because you reminded me that this shouldn't just disappear after having done it for so long. A special thank you to oNoM for what HAS to have been the longest review full of praise that I have ever received - my self-esteem sky-rocketed after reading it!

No promises on when the next chapter will be out - but it will be as soon as possible, and hopefully it won't be as long as you had to wait for this one - give me a couple of weeks or so?

and in the meantime...reviews are still always appreciated :D they're so useful for motivation :D


	31. Awkwardly Unexpected Moments

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thanks to ALL of you who reviewed, because you all rock my socks ENORMOUSLY!**

-&-

**Chapter 31: Awkwardly Unexpected Moments**

For the next hour or so, Lily debated over whether or not she would actually _go_ to the Heads' Room at the time James had specified. Part – well, most of her was worrying that it was some kind of horrible joke – some form of retaliation as a follow-up to what had gone on before. She felt positively ill at the thought of going if she was only going to get into another fight, and yet she couldn't be easy unless she _did_ go. Her mind tossed backward and forward; one moment she was resolved to go, the next determined not to, and then she was enraged against herself for being so ridiculous! She couldn't ask anyone for a second opinion – Emma had gone somewhere again, and though Sapphire was nearby, she was so distracted in her own thoughts that Lily very much doubted that she would get the reply she wanted.

Eight o'clock came and went, and it was close to a quarter past when Lily actually realised what time it was. Siding with instinct, she made a split-second decision and left the common room.

When she climbed in, she thought at first that James wasn't in the Heads' Room. It looked empty enough – it was a dim light, the roaring fire giving the room a red glow. None of the lamps were on, leaving most of the space in flickering shadow.

"You're late."

James' tall form unfolded from the floor – he must have been sitting beside the couch, where she could not have seen him. Lily bit her tongue, but, as usual, her automated James Hate System kicked in.

"Well that makes us even," she said sharply. "You were late yesterday, I was late today."

James looked away, and when he faced her again, his gaze was free from anger. "I'm…sorry – I just...didn't think you would come.'"

"Neither did I," she replied. There was a moment's pause, during which Lily wondered why on earth James was calling her here just so he could stare at the floor. "What did you want?" she asked finally.

"I want…" James hesitated, then took a step forward, squaring up to her. "Well, it's just – this is ridiculous. We're seventeen, we're Heads of the school, but we're jumping down each other's throats like we're eleven again. I just thought we could, you know, clear the air." He took another step forward, as if to prove his point. "So…here goes." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what I said before, at lunch. I just got a bit – annoyed, and I sort of exaggerated the facts. It was – it was unreasonable of me to – say those things, and – and I hope you'll forgive me," he ended in a rush.

Lily half-smiled, in spite of herself, at his tentative look. "Okay. I'm sorry if I provoked you…and for my part in our arguments."

James shoved his hands in his pockets. "So…truce?"

"Truce," Lily agreed, clasping her own hands. She felt uncomfortably warm as he watched her, and swallowed. The half-light coming from the fire lit only one side of his tall figure, and she found herself thinking of things that she knew she REALLY shouldn't have been thinking of.

James let out a breath. "Well, at least it's over," he said quietly. "It's horrible fighting with you, you know that?"

"Same," Lily returned. "It's like I can't be in a good mood if I'm busy glaring at you."

"You?" James laughed, and Lily cursed herself for thinking that it was a nice sound to hear, after all the hours of harsh tones. "Clearly you missed all my dirty looks."

"Well I thought you _liked_ annoying me. You did it so naturally over the last six years." Lily smiled as he raised his eyebrows and then grinned.

"It was fun to see you get worked up," he said, his glasses glinting with silent laughter. That look faded as he took another step forward and his voice lowered. His eyes were overpowering her now, and she was unable to move or speak. Her cheeks burned, and she could only focus on his neck, and how smooth it looked. "You were so passionate when you yelled – you were beautiful."

His voice was almost a whisper. "You still are."

Somehow, the gap between them had closed entirely, and James leaned down. The next moment, his lips were unexpectedly on hers, and he was – he was _kissing_ her.

For a moment, she felt completely powerless in his warm arms; as if someone had simultaneously allowed the bottom of her stomach to drop out and taken her breath straight out of her lungs – it was the airy, light-headed feeling she associated with that of being drunk. And yet, at the same time, an overwhelming sense of peace and security enveloped her like a blanket. _This is how it's meant to be_, a tiny, deep-buried part of her whispered. _This is how it should be_.

Then, almost instinctively, her body began to respond, starting with an entire Guy-Fawkes-Day-meets-Fourth-of-July explosion of fireworks somewhere in her abdomen. Part of her seemed to drift up and leave the rest of her; a part that watched cynically as one hand trailed round his back and reached into his hair to press him closer as she relaxed into his chest. _This is how it should be_, the cynical voice said silently, _but is this how it is _going _to be?_

His heart was beating erratically; she could feel it through their clothes, and tingles of shock ran through her veins as his hand dropped to rest lightly on her waist and the other held her arm in a comfortably tight grip. That was all she remembered as she melted against him – his lips were so warm, and sugary. Being this near to him was intoxicating; the musky, undeniably James-like smell of his cologne was pervading her consciousness and all her thoughts – the last time she'd been close enough to do this had been when he had lost his temper so ferociously after discovering the Polyjuice incident, but this was infinitely nicer.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, soft and silky, and she let out a small sound as his lips caressed hers. James was such a good –

Wait a minute. _James????_

Her eyes flew open and she wrenched herself out of his arms. He took a step backwards too, and she could see that the realisation had just hit him as well. An identical flush rose up on both their cheeks, as they stared at each other, wide-eyed.

_Oh God,_ Lily thought, her heart pounding like there was no tomorrow. _I just kissed _James Potter.

There was only one option in times like this.

Run.

And so she did. Hastily, she backed off and muttered a quick "Bye" before climbing out and walking – half-running – as fast as she could, towards the safety of her own bed.

**-&-**

Next morning, Lily was the first to get up. She brushed her teeth, and got dressed, and then, while she waited for her friends to get up, decided to tidy her clothes and bed up. Humming cheerfully, she sorted through everything, until she found her robes from the day before. As she unpinned the Head badge, the cool silver brought a rush from her memory.

_Head badge…Head Boy…Head Room…kissing…_

She let out an involuntary gasp, and her cheeks burned as she sat down weakly.

"What's wrong?" came the sleepy voice of Emma.

Lily swallowed.

"Uh, nothing," she called back. "I just uhm, pricked myself on my badge."

There was a clatter of curtain rings as Emma pulled her hangings back fully and blinked at Lily.

"So why are your cheeks practically on fire?" she demanded.

Lily feigned innocence. "They are?" She put her hands to her cheeks. "Oh."

Shrugging it off, Emma swung her legs down and sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Whatever. I may as well get dressed, now that I'm awake." She picked up a towel. "And _then_," she called, "we are going down to breakfast, where we will sit with Remus, Sirius, James and Peter, so that we can all discuss why you and James are incapable of having a civil conversation, and why Sirius and Sapphire are incapable of _having_ a conversation."

"No!" Lily blurted.

Emma turned, hand on the bathroom door. "Excuse me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No – it's just -" Lily fumbled for an excuse. "I don't think we should – should spend so much time with – with the boys," she ended lamely.

"What time?" Emma snorted. "We've barely _spent_ any time with them! Remus and I decided that for once we were going to sit it out and do – what's it called? – conflict resolution."

"But – it's -" Lily thought fast. "Well, think about it, Em – we were totally happy on our own, from first year to sixth. _This _year…I don't know – the Marauders seem to play a big part with us, and it's suddenly made life a bit _too_ dramatic. I mean, there was your entire saga with Remus, and all the Sirius and Sapphire arguments, and the entire Polyjuice thing – it feels like we're in a story, where about a million over-dramatic things happen in one week. Maybe we should…just stay away from them for a while – you know, just go back to normal."

Emma regarded Lily for a long moment. "Lily, I can understand what you're saying," she said, her voice unusually gentle. "But it wouldn't work." Lily opened her mouth, but Emma carried on. "Think about it. You and James are the Heads of the school – you'd have to run into him at least once or twice a week, probably even more now that the Ball is so close. I spend a lot of time with Remus, and Sirius is like part of the James package, which means that if Sapphire is with us, she's going to collide with him once in a while. We can't just sever ties now, because they're…well, they're forged in iron, so to speak. No way round it." She smiled. "I think you should make the best of it – at least your Transfiguration grades are improving!"

"That's little comfort," Lily muttered, as the door closed behind Emma.

A while later, when it was a decent hour to go down to breakfast, Lily Emma and Sapphire headed to the Great Hall. Despite Emma's pleadings, Lily staunchly refused to sit with the boys, and went off to sit on her own further down the table. Emma, determined that at least _one_ of the problems would be sorted out, forcibly dragged Sapphire into a place beside her, and tried to make her look anywhere but at her plate.

Feeling rather stupid on her own, Lily positively refused to look anywhere in James' direction, and took out a book. She began to eat her way through a pile of toast, reading about the history of Cheering Charms as she did so.

Before long, however, her mind was drifting, and while she stared at the page, the majority of her brain began a Spanish-Inquisition-style interrogation into why she was feeling so uncomfortable.

_Because he_ kissed _me! _she screamed at herself. _He's my colleague – he's a friend! Friends don't kiss you!_

_Ah_, said that little niggling voice at the back of her head; the voice Lily would dearly have loved to hit with a frying pan, _but that's not the real reason, is it?_ If the voice had had a face, it would have been wearing the unbearably smug smirk of a cat that got the cream. _You feel uncomfortable because you_ liked _the kiss, didn't you? Come on, Lily, admit it to yourself, you thought his lips were- _

"Shut UP!" Lily said fiercely.

"Sorry?"

Lily turned, flustered, to see Sapphire sitting down next to her, looking bewildered. Beyond her, James and Remus were watching her questioningly, though as Lily turned her eyes on him, James looked away, with the faintest tinge of pink gracing his cheeks.

"Sorry," she apologised. "I was just…out of it." She looked back at her friend. "I thought you were meant to be 'opening the channels of communication'?"

Sapphire snorted. "Yeah, right. It's not like we even opened our _mouths_ to each other. Then the owl post arrived, and he got something – I think it was some sort of list, and after that he just looked moody and stared at his plate. Not that he wasn't doing that already."

"Ah well," Lily said. She glanced at Emma. "You know, Em is going to give you the mother of all lectures later on."

"Yeah, but I can live with that," Sapphire said. "Now, pass me some toast – it's not healthy to keep all that to yourself."

-&-

"Lily, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"What?" Lily asked, still focused on _Achievements in Charming_, through which she was trawling to find information she could use for a revision timeline.

Emma cleared her throat. "Where's Tom been lately?"

Looking up, Lily saw her friend bite her lip as she watched her earnestly. "I was wondering that myself," she said, furrowing her brow. "I haven't really seen him around."

"It's nothing really," Emma said, almost hesitantly. "I was just thinking…I mean, usually he turns up to give you a hug or something once a day – I thought I had just missed him or something."

"No-o," Lily replied. "He hasn't been around." She considered for a moment. "Wow, it must be bad if even you've noticed it."

"Like I said, it's probably nothing," Emma repeated. "We're all really busy, so maybe -"

A pair of hands covered Lily's eyes. "Guess who?"

Lily twisted around. "Speak of the devil," she said, laughing.

Emma grinned. "Hi Tom," she said. "Lily, I'll catch up with you later."

"See you," Lily said. She turned to Tom. "So where have you been lately?"

"Oh, around," Tom said lightly. "Did you miss me?"

"Maybe," Lily teased. She wrinkled her nose. "Ok, so maybe I was just wondering where you were," she admitted.

Tom put his arms around her. "Well I'm here now," he said, eyeing her books. "Clearly I'm not going to drag you away from the world of homework tonight, so anything you want help with?" He flexed his fingers. "I'm good at flicking through books. Lots of practice."

Lily laughed in spite of herself. "Not unless you want to help me burn them."

"No matches," Tom said mock-ruefully. "Well, if I can't help you in that way, let me at least help you…relax." He kissed her neck, and Lily smiled.

The portrait hole swung open, and a tall, dark-haired boy walked into the room. He looked around, and his gaze settled on Lily and Tom. For a moment, he stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and then he turned and walked to another chair and began to read.

Tom, feeling her tense, looked up. "Oh come on," he said, misunderstanding her, "surely your Head business can wait for a little while."

"Y-yeah," Lily said, trying to smile again. She looked back down at her work.

Tom kissed her cheek softly and began to trail kisses across to her ear, but Lily moved her head away awkwardly. "Don't, Tom."

"What?" Tom questioned. He rubbed her arm, and Lily glanced up at the figure of James opposite, still apparently intent on his book.

"Nothing," she said. Tom's hand drifted down to her waist, and she sucked in a sharp breath. The last person who had touched her there had been J-

"What's wrong, Lily?" Tom inquired. Nuzzling at her neck, he repeated his question, while Lily could do nothing by stare down, occasionally lifting her eyes to James. _This is stupid_, part of her said angrily, _he's only sideways on, and he hasn't even looked round at you – why are you so uptight?_

Tom's voice was slightly colder when he next spoke. "Ok, I guess you're busy." His voice softened. "Can I at least kiss you before I go?"

Slowly, he leaned towards her, but just as he was about to reach her lips, James turned a page, and Lily leapt back as if she had been burnt.

Tom opened his eyes. "What's going on?" he asked injuredly. He looked at the group of chattering first-years. "Look, I know you don't go for public displays of affection, but what's -" Lily, who had been staring at the desk, head down, sent a fleeting glance in James' direction. Unfortunately, Tom caught it.

"Oh," he said, in a slightly different tone of voice. "Well." He looked at Lily's downcast eyes. "I'll just uh, leave you to your schoolwork." Without another word, he left, and Lily let out a sigh as she watched him go. A movement made her change her gaze to James, who had looked up. Blushing, she averted her eyes and went back to work. What good would it do?

-&-

Sirius was pissed.

Indeed, not in the alcoholic way. That would have been a trade-up he thought sourly, as the cold breeze wafted across his face. At least he would have been too fuddled to have to think. Instead, he was out here, sitting on a balcony in the cold, raging at his own fate, while the stars above glistened, icy and crystal bright.

He had been fairly upbeat, after the original shock of being disowned. Really. Okay, so there had been a few pranks to let off steam…maybe more than a few…but nothing drastic. Hell, he wasn't about to slit his wrists. Yet.

Still, the owl that had arrived this morning had been an unwelcome reminder of what he was trying to escape.

Pushing cold fingers into his pocket, Sirius brought out the piece of parchment and stared blankly, with unseeing eyes, at the list written in his mother's slanting script. It was an inventory of everything he owned in the house. Apparently his mother had enlisted her house-elf's help to write down all that was in his room, so that he would take only what he was given. Frankly, Sirius shuddered at the thought of that slimy little toerag (more commonly known as Kreacher) pawing through his clothes and books. He would probably have to bleach everything clean once he got them out.

Consequently, he had spent most of the day living up to his reputation as a blood traitor, by silently cursing every member of the Black family that he could think of. The only people excepted had been Andromeda, his only normal cousin, and Uncle Alphard, out of respect.

Fumbling in his pocket again, he took out a small gold box, and looked at it, glinting in the moonlight. He had found it in his trunk after dinner. Actually, the plan had been to escape to Hogsmeade, but James, probably suspecting something of the sort, had hidden the Invisibility Cloak, and in the end, he couldn't be bothered to get drunk alone again. Instead, he focused on the box, before taking out a cigarette from inside and lighting it with a Muggle lighter.

It wasn't a habit of his to smoke – in fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he had opened the box. When he had seen it today, however, it had seemed liked an opportunity for release, and he had taken it with both hands.

Placing the cigarette to his lips, he drew on it, and then let the smoke escape from his mouth slowly, watching the faint tendrils as they slipped away, and wishing that it was more than just smoke disappearing. The grounds were quiet, and castle lights were beginning to be extinguished as the minutes ticked by. Faint footsteps sounded now and again as teachers or Prefects made their rounds, but no one would think to look here. It was his place alone.

Slowly, very slowly, Sirius felt himself drifting off in his own thoughts, where the only reality was that of the crisp air gnawing at his face, and the clear night sky above; where the gigantic drop below was not a thing of fear, but of interest, and the little light in Hagrid's hut was the only sign that this world was inhabited by anyone else. Taking a drag of the cigarette again, he stared out towards the mountains and rough, wild country that surrounded him.

"_WHAT ARE YOU _DOING???"

The next few seconds were a blur. There was a rush of hurried footsteps, and the next thing Sirius knew, his cigarette was being torn out of his hands by a feminine figure, who stubbed the glowing end out on the stone wall before flinging it off into the air.

Sirius got to his feet, scowling. "What the hell are you doing? And who the hell are you?"

The girl swung around, pushing a curtain of brown hair off her face, and as the moonlight fell on her shadowy face, she came into focus. Sirius gaped.

"Heathleigh?" he said incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What the hell are _you_ doing?" Sapphire hissed. She held out a hand. "Give me the rest of them – don't tell me you only had one."

Sirius was so surprised that he actually did hand his box over. He regretted it, a moment too late, as Sapphire hurled the box over the wall and into the darkness. Getting to his feet, he stared at Sapphire's tense back. "What's wrong with you? What was all that for?"

Sapphire faced him again, angling her face so that her expression was barely visible. "I hate smoking," she said tightly, and turned on her heel. She was almost at the doorway, when Sirius replied.

"Huh?"

Sapphire looked back. She let out a long breath. "Do you know what happens when you smoke?" Her expression was unreadable.

Sirius had no idea what she was getting at here, but he kept his voice neutral as he responded. "It's not good for you. Your lungs and stuff."

"But you do it anyway." Her voice was quiet.

Sirius shrugged. "One-off."

"That's how it starts. Just one cigarette."

"So what?"

Sapphire took a step forward, still in the shadows. Her voice sounded almost tired. "I don't know why I'm even bothering with this, Black, but maybe I should tell you something. In Muggle schools, you learn about dangers of smoking very early. I've read books. Bronchitis, cancer, heart disease, cardiac arrests, smoker's cough, brain damage…" Her tone was monotonous, with a dull, learned-by-heart quality. "Muggle _and_ magical diseases. No magical cure."

"I don't understand. How do you know all this?"

Something in Sapphire seemed to sag. "My dad smokes," she muttered.

"So what?" Sirius honestly failed to see what she was trying to say.

"So what?" Sapphire laughed bitterly. "If I had a Knut for every time someone said that, I'd be a rich woman by now." She sighed. "It means that I have first-hand experience of what it's like."

"What what's like?" Sirius glared at her. "Stop being so overdramatic."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Sapphire's voice had risen. "My friends all said that – I was being melodramatic. You know what?" She almost spat the next words out. "You don't know! You don't know what it's like living with someone who smokes heavily! You don't know what it's like watching someone you love burn their life away! And you sure as hell don't know what it's like watching your family's finances turn into ashes!" She took a deep breath.

"Your dad's got the addiction?"

"No," Sapphire said bitterly. "He's got the _disease_."

Sirius wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to say. Sapphire's face, or what he could see of it, was in a carefully controlled expression of forced calm, her eyes overbright. "Well it's not the end of the world," he tried. "He can always quit."

Sapphire stared at him for several moments, so intently that Sirius felt uncomfortable. "I don't know why I'm telling you this," she said at last. "I've done it before. It never worked with anyone else. You know why?" She laughed harshly, and Sirius blinked; this was an embittered side of Sapphire that he had never seen before, and somehow he doubted that _anyone_ had seen her like this, including both her current and former friends.

Sapphire carried on, her voice as bitingly cold as the night air around them. "You can't understand. You never will, unless you're in the situation." She paused. "I didn't either. I grew up, and cigarettes were just these things that my dad had a lot of. I knew they were bad for you – _really_ bad – but I didn't understand the whole truth." Blinking, she brushed at her eyes. "You can't understand until your mother gets so desperate and worried that she turns to you to talk to, because there's no one else, and suddenly the world isn't a cosy cocoon any more. You just have to watch, powerless, while one parent smokes their life away, and the other worries their life away."

Sirius watched as she walked to the balcony wall and leaned on it, looking at the grounds below. "Sometimes, I wonder if it'll be my mum, not my dad, who'll go down first, from the stress of it all," she almost whispered.

Raising his eyes, Sirius looked at her taut back, silhouetted against the hills and mountains. He had no idea why Sapphire was telling him her history. Something told him that this wasn't about _who_ she was saying it to, but the fact that she was _saying_ it; it didn't sound as though she had ever let this out before.

"Well, I'm sorry," he said quietly. If he had been anyone else, he might have hugged her, but in his situation, that was practically taboo, and he would probably come out of it with a black eye and bruised ribs.

Sapphire sniffed, and when she turned round, he could see that she had been crying. "I wouldn't even let my worst enemy go down to cigarettes," she said. "Just – don't. There are other ways to escape your life."

Sirius stared. How had she-? He opened his mouth. "Sapph-"

But she was gone. He looked at the door as it swung shut, and then back out at the stars. When he had come here tonight, he had wished that he had had something to think about, to take his mind off himself.

Now that his wish was fulfilled, he wasn't entirely sure it was a good thing.

-&-

Meanwhile, for Lily, concentrating on her work was horribly hard, distracted as she was by a certain Head Boy who was paying absolutely no attention to her. The owner of a pair of high heels, who was coming down the stairs, was about to make it even harder.

"Hello James," a sultry voice purred.

When Lily looked up, she felt physically ill. Serena Parkinson was sitting straddled on James' lap, trailing a solitary, seductive finger down his cheek.

-&-

_Whatcha gonna do, _

_When you can't say no, _

_When her feelings start to show, _

_Boy I really need to know,_

_And how you gonna act, _

_How you gonna handle that,_

_Whatcha gonna do when she wants you back?_

-&-

**A/N**: Sorry for the long waits between updates - I really do try to remember to get each chapter sorted on time, truly :( the song is from Mya, Case of the Ex. Anyway, I promise the next chapter will show up e-ven-tu-ally, and until then...spend some of your time reviewing?


	32. Repairing The Crack

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thanks to ALL of you who reviewed, because you all rock my socks ENORMOUSLY!**

**Recap:**

_'Hello James,' a sultry voice purred._

_When Lily looked up, she felt physically ill. Serena Parkinson was sitting straddled on James' lap, trailing a solitary, seductive finger down his cheek._

**-&-**

**Chapter 32: Repairing The Cracks**

Serena, disregarding the fact that she was still in the common room, lifted the book out of James' hands. He shifted around as she made a show of leaning forward to place it on the side, giving him a perfect, crystal-clear view of what lay down her top.

"James," she mused. "James, James, James." She wriggled on his lap, and Lily saw James flush bright red – clearly her movement was giving him an adverse reaction which he didn't want.

"Go away, Serena," he said, with less force than usual.

"But James," Serena said in a husky voice. She traced a finger around his neck, and James broke into a visible sweat. "Look at you. You need to…loosen up a bit." She undid the top buttons of his shirt, and Lily realised that he had not undone them himself, even though the top few were usually flung open after school hours.

Now Serena was undoing his tie and loosening that too. "I could help you, you know," she said, fingers drifting over his neck before lightly brushing at his lips. James swallowed hard.

"Serena -" he started, in strained tones, his voice gravelly, but he got no further. Serena, apparently tired of toying with him, dragged his head towards hers, and engulfed him in a searingly passionate kiss.

Lily honestly felt like retching, unable to tear her gaze away as she saw Serena part her lips and deepen the kiss. For a few horrible moments, she thought James was going to encourage her, but eventually he pushed her blindly away from him. Unfortunately, the place in which his hands landed were probably the best place Serena could have wanted them. James pulled his hands away quickly.

"Serena – stop it -" he said, breathing heavily.

"Really? You want me to?" She smiled wickedly, rocking her hips so that James wriggled even more in discomfort. "Something down _here_ tells me you don't." She placed her hand down below, and whatever she did was enough to make James jolt out of his chair, as if he had received an electric shock.

Lily had had enough. Getting up, she drew herself up to her full height, and marched over.

"Excuse me," she said coldly, "but can you take your little displays of affection away from the public eye."

Serena's smile turned snide. "Of course. We don't want to upset those who aren't as lucky as us. James?"

James, who was still sweating heavily, and wearing a somewhat dazed expression, snapped his head up. Almost at once, an expression of distaste crossed his face as he looked at Serena, and he stood up, abruptly dislodging her.

"Sorry Parkinson, but I'm not your little lapdog," he said brusquely. He looked at Lily, but could not seem to find anything to say to her; instead, cheeks colouring again, he walked out of the common room.

Without waiting for more of Serena's poison, Lily turned on her heel and headed upstairs, with the cry of "Hypocrite!" ringing in her ears.

The voice shouting it?

Her own.

-&-

"Aargh!"

This cry of outrage came from Emma, who was kneeling on her bed and glaring with all the force of a laser beam.

"You!" she said, pointing a finger at Sapphire, "and you!" The Finger swivelled round to Lily. "You two are driving me round the bend!"

Both Sapphire and Lily had the grace to look ashamed. Emma's face when she had come out of the bathroom to find not one, but two of her best friends hiding out in the dormitory had been priceless. She had said nothing until she was changed and ready for bed, but now the tirade had let loose.

"Right," Emma barked. "Let's get things straight." The Finger moved back to Sapphire. "You," she said, "have a problem with Sirius Black. You are incapable of having any kind of conversation with him to sort out your differences, and I STILL don't understand why." Sapphire looked sheepish.

"And _you_," she turned to Lily. "_You_ are not telling us something. I don't know what happened in the Heads' Room last night, or how bad your fight was, but whatever it is, it was clearly a big deal. You've been jumpy all day whenever James comes near you, you're avoiding him, and what's puzzling me most of all is that he seems to be avoiding you _too_. Then I leave you with Tom, hoping that he'll snap you out of it, and fifteen minutes later, I find that you've hared it back up here again. You're not telling me something. Feel like sharing?"

Lily arranged her face in a carefully blank expression, but Emma shook her head.

"Don't try that on me, I've known you for seven years; I could practically write a book on your expressions."

In a neutral tone, Lily replied, "It's nothing…just an unexpected…thing. Argument. Fight. Thing." She walked over to Sapphire. "Besides, isn't this who we should be worrying about? This poor misguided soul who has conversational issues with Lover-boy?"

"EURGH!" Sapphire stumbled backwards so fast she fell onto her bed. "How can you even _say_ that without throwing up?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Quite easily."

"I want nothing to do with Sirius Black. Understood?" Sapphire demanded.

"Funny," Emma said, in a conversational tone. "When you mentioned Sirius' name there, you did something I've never seen you do before. It was almost as if you were acting as though he was a human being." She shrugged, as though she were merely commenting on an everyday topic like the weather. "It's a good thing really. I was beginning to get quite worried you were under some odd spell that made you see some sort of three-headed monster when you looked at him. Good to know you're normal."

"Aargh!" Sapphire blocked her ears for a moment and then, realising that no one was speaking (because they were too busy laughing), removed her hands.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she announced. "And then I'm going to bed."

"To dream of Sirius Black," Lily whispered mischievously as the door clicked shut behind Sapphire. Emma burst out laughing.

"If only that were even remotely likely," she sighed, wiping her eyes.

-&-

"Pass the jam," Emma said. Lily gave no response.

"I said, pass the jam," Emma repeated, raising her voice. When Lily still did not look up, Emma sighed.

"Lily," she said loudly. "James is heading in your direction."

"What?" Lily's head snapped up.

"I asked you to please pass the jam," Emma said innocently. Sapphire stifled a laugh by taking an extra-large gulp of pumpkin juice, and promptly choked on it.

Lily frowned down at the roll of parchment covered with messy lists of numbers which lay in front of her, taking the place of an uneaten bowl of cereal which lay to a side. "It's no good," she muttered, throwing her quill down in frustration and running her hands through her hair.

"What isn't?" Emma inquired, patting Sapphire on the back.

"These accounts," Lily said, gesturing at the figures, which were interspersed with ink blots. "I'm hopeless at them – I can't do numbers." She stared at the parchment hard, as if hoping the numbers would resolve themselves.

"Emma," she said finally, in a wheedling tone of voice, "could you give these to James and tell him I said to finish them, whenever you next see him?"

"Nuh-uh!" Emma protested. "I'm not aiding you in avoiding him!"

"Sapphire?" Lily asked hopefully.

Sapphire, though still apparently unable to talk, was able to manage a coherent head-shake while massaging her throat.

"Fine," Lily grumbled, rolling the accounts up and putting them into her bag. "I'll ask Remus to give them to him. Some friends you are." She pushed in her quills haphazardly. "I'll go give them now," she said grumpily. "I am _not_ carrying them around all day." Swinging her bag onto her shoulders, she set off.

She was so busy cursing her luck as she walked down the corridor, thinking how ironic it was that the one person who could help her was the one person she was going to any lengths to avoid, that she did what she had done so many times before.

"Oomph!" She tumbled to the ground, landing painfully on her bag, and heard the soft crunch as parchment crumpled beneath her weight.

Getting up hastily, she dusted herself off before looking up to see who she had walked into.

_Typical,_ she thought sourly. _My life is so over-clichéd._

James mumbled something as he bent down and began to pile up books.

"What?" Lily asked quickly, bending down too and making a pile herself.

"I said, I'm sorry," James muttered, head down.

"Oh…" Lily stood up and then realised, as she looked at the top book, that they were all James'. Nevertheless, she waited until he had straightened up before trading, being careful not to let her hands touch his.

"Sorry I wasn't watching where I was going," she said quietly, busying herself with her bag.

James opened his mouth, but then closed it again as footsteps sounded, and a giggling Ravenclaw fifth-year walked by, hand-in-hand with a Hufflepuff sixth-year.

There was a moment of silence, where neither could quite bring themselves to look at the other.

Finally, James exhaled and looked in the direction that the couple had gone. "Why is it that when everyone around is getting together, we can't even be civil to each other?" he asked quietly.

Lily found it a safer bet to look at the floor and shrug, rather than have to meet his eyes, which were burning into her (or so she thought).

James was silent for a minute, before shifting his weight awkwardly. "Look…about the other night," he said hesitantly. "I know you probably hate me -"

"I don't," Lily interrupted quickly.

"- or are at least angry with me -"

"I'm not!"

"- and have every intention of slapping me -"

"No!"

"- but for what it's worth, I'm sorry I kind of…came onto you like that. I mean, I don't…I don't like you as…anything more than a friend…and I don't know where that came from…it was probably just me transferring my frustrations. I swear it won't happen again…and even though you have every right to be as mad as you are -"

"James," Lily interjected gently. "I'm not upset with you."

James slowly met her eyes. "So why have you avoided me all week?"

Lily flushed. "I was…embarrassed," she said uncomfortably. "It…it wasn't something I was expecting, obviously." She cleared her throat. "Besides, I'm not the only one. Why were _you_ avoiding me?"

James flushed. "I was embarrassed too," he confessed. "And…and I thought you were angry with me. For – for -" He didn't seem quite capable of finishing his sentence.

"I wasn't! I thought you were – well, I don't know."

James exhaled again. "Look, what matters is that we're here now." He took a deep breath. "I just want to say that I don't have any…ulterior motive, and I don't want to ruin what we've managed, so...friends again?" He offered his hand.

Lily tilted her head before shaking hands with him, almost reluctantly. "Friends." A rush of warmth spread through her as they clasped hands awkwardly, and she tried to ignore how warm and rough-yet-gentle his hand was. When she looked back, she would put it down to happiness that problems were sorted out.

"Well…"

"Well…bye, I guess," Lily said uncomfortably. "I'll see you around." Her own voice echoed in her head. _I hug my friends when I say goodbye_.

There was no way she was adhering to that protocol now.

"Yeah – yeah," James said. They both turned and began to walk away from each other, but several metres from him, she stopped and turned around to stare at his retreating back. As if sensing her, he turned too.

"What?" he asked.

"N-nothing," Lily said hurriedly. "Well…bye."

"Bye."

She turned and carried on walking, but, for some reason, just as she was about to reach the corner, she stopped and turned again. James was still standing in the same spot, one hand holding his books, the other in his pocket, wearing an odd expression on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said vaguely.

"Ok…see you around." Still feeling oddly as though their conversation was unfinished, she headed round to corner, and up the staircase. It was when the bell went just as she reached the Tower than she realised why she had left the Great Hall in the first place.

_Damn my stupid mind_! she thought, annoyed.

-&-

When she did catch up with James again, it was almost the end of lunch. She thrust the accounts into his hand, hoping that he would simply put it into his bag, but, to her dismay, he unrolled it then and there. For a moment, he stared at it, and then, frowning slightly, he turned it upside down, as if rotating it would make the scribbles any more legible.

"Lily," he said at last, looking up at her. "Is this – were you _drunk_ when you did this?"

'"No!" Lily said indignantly. "I had full control over my mental faculties!"

"Really?" James studied the parchment again. "Because this looks like you have the mental faculties of a five-year-old." He screwed up his eyes, in an effort to make sense of the mess of ink.

"Ok, you know what?" Lily pulled the accounts out of his hand and ripped them up into tiny pieces.

"Lily - !"

"What? All this is crap – you'll be better off without it."

"No – it's just – there was a sheet of real accounts under that. Mine."

Lily looked down at the fragments in her hand. Sure enough, small lines of James' handwriting were dotted around her own scribbles.

_Whoops_.

"Sorry!" she apologised frantically, trying to piece the shreds back together. "Really, I am – can you -?"

James looked solemn for a moment, but then his face turned into one big grin. "I was just messing with you. That was a sheet of rough notes."

"You idiot!" Lily exclaimed, cuffing him on the arm. "You really had me worried!" She began to laugh as they walked into the classroom. "And there I was wondering how the hell I was supposed to redo them for you!"

James shuddered elaborately. "Please. You'll give me nightmares." His expression made Lily laugh even harder, and she looked around for her friends, her eyes landing on Tom as she did so. He saw her looking and gave her a brief smile; yet somehow, his eyes still wore a bitter expression as they looked at James.

**-&-**

And now, all too soon, the end of the school term was first in sight, and then upon the. The school population did not diminish in size, as barely anyone wanted to go home when the prospect of the Winter Ball lay ahead. Indeed, it seemed to double – the entire castle was now filled with students doing precisely what they liked, when they liked. Lily and James had decided that in order to compensate for keeping students at school in Christmas Day, the Hogwarts Express would leave in the late morning on Boxing Day to take back the students, so they could at least spend half of the holiday with their family. A Hogsmeade trip had also been organised for the coming weekend; with the Winter Ball little more than a week away, many girls were itching to go into the village and finalise their outfits. Sapphire was working hard on her costume for the finals of the fancy dress competition, and Lily and Emma helped with suggestions wherever they could.

It was after one such session of costume-planning that Lily was sitting curled up in a chair by the fire with her friends, relishing the fact that she had no work to do. The common room was full and noisy, and at least ten games of Exploding Snap and wizarding chess were going on at once. Life could be so peaceful, Lily thought dreamily, as she watched the portrait hole swing open.

She was nowhere near prepared for the entrant. A familiar black-haired figure stepped into the room, and Lily gasped as she saw the person's face properly.

_Oh my god_.

**-&-**

**A/N**: FINALLY free of school for life, so expect more regular updates when I'm not out enjoying holidays to the fullest :D and just as a quick response, no my updates don't take forever because I wait for reviews, they take long because I have a life outside fanfiction, and I had life-deciding exams to deal with…

Anyway, how about a review to pass the time?


	33. Christmas Shopping

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

**A/N: Thanks to ALL of you who reviewed, because you all rock my socks ENORMOUSLY!**

-&-

**Chapter 33: Christmas Shopping**

'"What on earth are you doing here?!" Lily sprang off the sofa and hurried over to the newcomer. "Why are you – how'd you get in?"

"Lily?" Emma and Sapphire had come up behind her. "What's going on?"

"Em, Saffy meet Madeleine, a.k.a. Maddie. She's James' little sister." On seeing their blank expressions, Lily hastily elaborated. "She doesn't live here – she goes to a Muggle school and gets private coaching in magic. Long story. Maddie, this is Emma and Sapphire, my friends."

Maddie flashed a brilliant grin at them and shook hands. "Hi."

"What are you doing here?" Lily exclaimed again, looking Maddie up and down.

"Giving my big brother a heart attack." Maddie grinned. "No, actually, since James is staying at school over Christmas and there's some sort of…party? thing coming up, Professor Dumbledore wrote to say it would be nice if I could stay until Boxing Day, to 'socialise with others my own age.' So here I am."

Lily looked around briefly, and then turned to Maddie, her eyes glinting with unusual mischief. "I take it James doesn't know you're here?"

Maddie smirked back. "Oh, Jamesie-poo has no idea. There is no escape from the dreaded little sister." The two exchanged a look of mutual understanding.

"Anyway," Lily said, covering her grin with a more casual expression, "do you want me to introduce you to the other fifth-years?"

"Oh no, it's okay," Maddie said jauntily, although Lily thought this might have been more an air than a real tone. "I can make my own way." She turned round and headed towards a group of fifth-years, all of whom were staring openly at this newcomer and her apparent familiarity with the Head Girl. A few minutes after introducing herself, she was lounged in a chair, discussing Celestina Warbeck. Lily smiled and returned to her own corner with her friends.

Ten minutes later, James himself climbed through the portrait hole, looking distracted, and headed directly for the boys' dormitory. Lily saw him, and felt an uncharacteristic smirk tug at her lips. Now was her chance to repay a little of the debt she owed him.

"James!" she called. She flashed a glance over her shoulder at her friends, warning them to keep a straight face. "Over here!"

Both James and Maddie looked round at her; Maddie's expression became an evil grin as James crossed over to Lily, having still not seen his sister.

"What is it, Lily?" he asked vaguely. "I have to go find Pad-Sirius, and Pete's gone missing as well -"

"Oh, nothing," Lily said innocently. "Just thought you should know that we have a new member of Gryffindor."

"Good, that's great," James said hurriedly, running a hand through his hair and looking towards the stairs. "If that's all - "

"I just thought you should, you know, welcome them," Lily said, her eyes on Maddie. "I mean, just to make them feel at home, since you're Head Boy."

"Mmmhmm," James said. Lily heard a choked cough behind her, and knew that Sapphire was trying not to burst a rib laughing.

In the end, James sighed, giving in to Lily's supposedly pleading stare. "Alright, alright," he said, sounding almost exasperated, "for your sake, I'll say hello. Where are they?"

"Hello, Head Boy, sir," a voice said from behind him.

"I know that voi -" James said slowly.

The entire Gryffindor common room burst into laughter as James suddenly wheeled around, his mouth hanging open, to come face-to-face with his little sister, who was wearing an angelic smile and looking as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

"Y – you – what are _you_ doing here?" he spluttered.

"Why James, aren't you pleased to see me?" Maddie feigned hurt.

"What are you doing here?" James demanded again.

Maddie groaned. "That is the fifth time in ten minutes that I've been asked that. I'll repeat myself: Professor Dumbledore invited me to come and stay until Boxing Day for your ball thing, so I could 'improve my social life.'"

"Y – you'll be here for over a _week_?" James looked horrorstruck, and Lily laughed until the tears poured down her face at his tone.

"No, duh," Maddie said sarcastically. "Now, if you don't mind…" She gestured at her new friends, who were in fits of giggles, and walked back to them, calling merrily over her shoulder, "See you later, James!"

James turned back to Lily, still looking shocked. "I thought I was safe from her here," he said, in a hollow voice. "My life is over." Groaning, he walked off upstairs, leaving Lily to dissolve into laughter once again.

-&-

The next day was the long-awaited Hogsmeade trip, and it was with a definite sense of anticipation that Lily pulled on a pair of jeans and a turtleneck, before heading down the breakfast with her friends. The hall was already full of students chattering about the prospect of a day out in the village.

Finding seats across from James, Sirius, Peter and Remus, the girls began eating, discussing plans.

"Looking forward to today?" Emma asked cheerily, leaning forward to kiss Remus on the cheek.

"Mmhmm," Sirius said, through a mouthful of bacon.

Emma looked disgusted.

"Oh," she announced, clearly trying to change the subject. "Did I mention that the boys are coming with us when we go robe shopping?"

"We're going robe shopping?" Lily asked blankly.

"We're going _shopping_?" Sapphire said in a horrified voice.

"Remind me _why_ we agreed to do this?" James muttered, in a tone that was perfectly audible to everyone else.

"Because," Remus muttered back, equally audible, "you're too _nice_ and _loyal_ to leave a lone Marauder, i.e. me, on his own in a clothes shop full of girls."

Emma rolled her eyes and turned to Sapphire. "So _what_ exactly did you think we'd be doing in Hogsmeade, if not shopping of some sort?"

"I don't know," Sapphire mumbled.

"Well, I need to buy Christmas presents," Lily said, matter-of-factly.

There was a chorus of "Me too"s.

"So, why not make it easy for me?" Sirius asked jovially. "What do you all want?"

'Think of what you THINK I'd like, and then buy anything but that," Emma said at once. "I dread to think what your idea of a present will be if it's a prank of some sort, especially when you consider it to be _appropriate_."

"Haha," Sirius said sarcastically. "It's nice to know you trust me to make the right decisions when necessary."

"Only a fool would trust you to do that, Sirius," Emma said. Sirius huffed and chose not to respond, as James snorted and Remus coughed into his cereal. Lily watched Sirius absently as he eyed the last breakfast muffin left on the plate in front of him. Just as he had established that no one else appeared to be have any interest in it, he reached out…only to see James' arm swoop in from nowhere and grab it.

"Hey!" Sirius protested, fingers grasping fruitlessly at empty air. "That was mine!"

James smirked, clutching the muffin in one hand as he took a drink. "You snooze, you lose." Ignoring Sirius' pout, he tore off a piece and lifted it towards his mouth…

"James?'"

James lowered his hand and looked at Sirius warily. "What?"

"You're mean."

James rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He raised his hand again…

"James?"

_"What?_"

"Won't you share it with me? Since we're bestest friends?"

"No." He lifted up the muffin again.

"James?"

"WHAT?" James exploded. "All I want is to eat my muffin in peace, and I can't, because you KEEP STOPPING ME! And don't try that pitiful puppy look on me, I'm a guy, not one of your fan club!" he added, glaring at Sirius.

"I didn't say anything!" Sirius said injuredly.

"I did," another voice said. James swivelled to see Maddie behind him.

"What?" he said tiredly.

"What're you eating?" She leaned on his shoulder. "Is that a muffin?"

"Yes," James muttered.

"James," Maddie said in a warningly sing-song voice. "Are you or are you not a Quidditch Captain? And did you or did you not spend more or less your entire life training to get to where you are today? What did Mum tell you about eating healthily? You should be eating something like," she pointed at a container of muesli, "that."

James made a disgusted face. Maddie gave him a Look, and Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Emma, Sapphire, and all of Maddie's friends standing behind her, began to snigger uncontrollably.

"You know what the solution is," Maddie told him calmly. She held out her hand. "Come on, hand over the muffin."

"NO!" two voices shouted in unison. James and Sirius glared at each other before turning back to Maddie.

"That's MINE!" James cried, as Maddie snatched at the muffin. "Get your own!"

"If he can't have it, I should!" Sirius roared, swiping at James' hand too.

Maddie stopped trying to get the muffin, and folded her arms sternly. "Look at you. Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, and you're behaving like a baby." She took a step back.

"What is with you?" James demanded. "Every time I have food in my hand, you turn up! Yesterday, I came down with a Chocolate Frog and you suddenly popped up and took half of it off me. Today, I get a muffin, and you're behind me. Do you have me on a radar system or something?"

"Yeah, right," Maddie said sarcastically. "Like I have nothing better to do. I'm going to get ready for Hogsmeade."

"Wear something warm," James said unthinkingly. "It's cold today."

_"James!_" Maddie hissed. "Stop trying to be Mum! Don't embarrass me in front of my friends!" Shoving him in the back, she walked off, then stopped, and came back.

"I forgot…" Deftly, her hand twisted into his, and the next thing James knew, his little sister was walking away with a muffin in her hand. _His_ muffin. The _last_ muffin.

"Thanks!" she called cheerfully over her shoulder.

James turned back to the others, who were all keeping determinedly straight faces. "My life was so peaceful at school," he said mournfully. "Now there really _is_ nowhere left to run."

It was too much. The table shook as six people burst into laughter.

"You and Maddie are a one-of-a-kind pair!" Lily said, wiping her eyes. James scowled at her, and then looked up the table. Abruptly, he got up and strolled down the length of it, before almost snatching a place of muffins from under the noses of a bunch of first-years, all of whom stared, eyes wide, as he made off with them.

"James!" Lily scolded. "That wasn't very nice! In fact, it was downright mean to those poor first-years!"

"Well what Maddie did wasn't very nice! In fact, it was downright mean to me! But are you telling _her_ off? Do I see _any_ kind of Head-Girl reprimand on your lips? No. So I'm fully justified!" and with that, James took an enormous bite of his muffin to end the conversation, leaving Lily to roll her eyes at the ceiling.

-&-

After breakfast, the seven of them left for Hogsmeade, teeth chattering as they stepped into the frosty air. Huddled into their cloaks, they joined the multitudes of students walking towards the village. Soon, they had separated into three groups: Emma and Remus, walking together at the front, and Sapphire and Lily a few metres behind. At the back lagged James, Peter and Sirius, discussing something in low voices. It was a peaceful time, and Lily was having great fun talking bout aimless things with Sapphire.

Sirius, however, was not feeling quite so peaceful. He had been having an inner battle with himself for a while now, over whether or not he should ask Sapphire to the ball. Most of him doubted that she would even say yes…so really, was there any point? There was only the smallest of chances that she would even consider it…

_I'll do it_, he decided, hoping that he would not back out of his own resolution. _I'll ask her some time this morning…eventually…_

Trying to take control of himself, he attempted to listen to James' words, but his attention was soon suspended as he watched a tall figure break away from a group nearby and head in Sapphire's direction. He saw the hooked nose and grimaced. It was Leon Wilkes, one of Sapphire's not-so-secret admirers.

_Honestly_, he thought disgustedly, as Leon inserted himself neatly in between the two girls, Lily looking put out as she was pushed to a side. _Some guys just don't know the meaning of being polite _

_God help me if I ever act that desperate._

Distantly, he watched as Sapphire' face looked annoyed at the interruption. She said something sharp and moved away, but Leon caught her arm and asked her something in a low voice as Sapphire tried to shrug him off. Finally, she stopped and shook her head hesitantly. Leon said something, wearing a hopeful expression, and after a moment, Sapphire leaned closer towards him. A stab of curiosity shot through Sirius as Leon said something into Sapphire's ear. She looked up at him, tilting her head as if in thought, but slowly nodded her head.

All of a sudden, the pieces seemed to fall together in Sirius' head, and he felt his mind freeze as he understood what was going on.

_Leon's just asked her to the Ball_, he realised. _And she's said yes_. The bottom seemed to drop out of his stomach, and he swallowed hard, staring at the ground. The tiny voice that had taken residence in his head to tell him that maybe, just maybe, he had a chance with her had closed up shop and disappeared. All that remained was reality, as cold and hard as the air hitting his face.

_It's a wake-up call,_ he thought grimly. In his mind, he scanned over the multitude of beautiful girls at his beck and call who could be potential trophy dates. _I'm just as capable oh having a horde of followers_, he thought harshly. _If she can pick a date out of them, I bloody well can too – and at least mine won't have a deformed nose!_

He stopped at the image of a pretty Asian girl, James' words echoing back.

_'She's got beauty _and_ brains. She'd actually be worth your time.'_

He looked around.

_How convenient_.

"Madhura," he muttered, and lengthened his strides to catch up with her, walking arm-in-arm with her two friends. She was only a little way in front of him, and he soon fell into step with her.

"Madhura, hi," he said, smiling at her and her friends, being careful to acknowledge all three of them, unlike a certain _other_ person he had recently watched.

"Hi Sirius," she responded, looking at him questioningly.

"Listen, I was wondering," Sirius said quickly. Although he was determined not to look at Sapphire, instinct told him they were catching up with her. "Would you like to, uh, go to the Ball with me?"

Madhura looked him up and down, apparently considering, before catching her friends' eyes. Finally, she looked back at him. "Well, I was sort of planning to ask Ar -" she broke off as she looked at a dark head further off, "but I guess I'll go with you." She smiled at him, and Sirius felt himself smile back. It was nice to know someone so genuinely honest.

"So where and when shall I meet you?" he asked.

Madhura began to say something, but Sirius had inadvertently looked to the front, where Sapphire and Leon were within a few feet of them, within hearing range. To Sirius' horror, as his eyes fell on them, Sapphire raised her hand and slapped Leon full in the face. "Fuck off," she told him, in an even voice. "Crawl back into whatever hole you came out of."

And with that, the pieces fell apart again. _That was no Ball date_, Sirius realised. More dismaying was the truth that was testified by the girl next to him.

_I've just lost any chance I had_.

He looked back at Madhura, who was watching him expectantly. "S-sorry?" he managed, as they drew up right behind Sapphire and Lily. "I didn't quite catch that."

"How about meeting me outside my common room at about seven? Then we can walk to the Great Hall together."

"Y-yeah," Sirius answered vaguely. "That's okay."

"See you then," Madhura said. She smiled at him again and moved off, as Sirius turned round to the front again…and straight into Sapphire's shocked face.

For one second, he hoped against hope that maybe, just maybe, she had not heard his exchange, but the expression on her face threw that idea straight into the bin. They stared at each other for a frozen moment, Sirius trying with all his might to communicate anything that would contradict what he knew she was thinking. But Sapphire's face had gone blank, and as the crowd in front began to move again, she turned on her heel and walked off to catch up with Lily. Sirius was left with nothing to do but groan silently at his own stupidity.

Meanwhile, Sapphire, stalking on ahead, was rapidly losing her concentration on whatever it was that Lily was talking about.

_It was only an infatuation_, she told herself sternly. _That was all it ever was. I don't even like him._

_So why does it hurt so much?_

-&-

Soon enough, the village of Hogsmeade was flooded with students. Christmas lights twinkled in almost every store window, and the snow beneath crunched as they stepped through it. It was like a scene from a Muggle Christmas card come to life, and Lily sniffed the air as the scent of pine wafted past. She spun on her heel to face the others, clapping her gloved hands excitedly as the Christmas spirit infused her. "Ok, so what shall we do first?"

Emma smiled to see her best friend grinning as happily as a child on Christmas morning. "Robes first," she replied, "since I don't think any of you really want to do that. This way, we'll get it done and you won't spend the whole day dreading it." Without waiting for agreement, she linked arms with her friends and maneuvered them in the direction of Gladrags, the boys following behind dispiritedly.

With a tinkling sound, the door swung open, and all seven people trooped into the warmth of the shop. Lily shook the snow off her coat, and looked around the shop floor. Already, there were several groups of giggling girls clustering around the store displays and racks of clothes. It was the first time Lily had ever seen anything but robes, cloaks and hats in the store, and she thought it looked decidedly odd, full of dazzling arrays of Muggle formal wear as it was.

Emma needed only a few seconds to take stock of her surroundings before she grasped Sapphire and Lily and dragged them towards a rack of dresses. Sapphire and Lily looked almost pathetically back at the boys as they were taken, but could not be helped. Uncomfortably, the boys loitered in the doorway for a while until a shop assistant took pity on them and directed them to the men's clothing.

It was amazing, Lily thought, yawning as she followed Emma, how many different ways people could come up with of designing the same piece of clothing. The colours around her had to be every shade of the rainbow, and yet she was feeling more confused than impressed at the onslaught f tones and textures. Eventually, however, the lure of the shimmering fabrics drew her in, and she was content to lend her opinion as Emma flitted from dress to dress, holding them up against her friends and exclaiming in approval or disgust. Soon enough, all three girls had stacks of dress slung over one arm.

As they headed towards the fitting area (another new addition, Lily noted) Remus, James, Sirius and Peter turned up, looking intensely bored.

"Finished?" Emma asked brightly, as she counted the number of garments she had.

"Yeah," Sirius mumbled. He and the others gestured at identical bags, which presumably held suits.

"You were quick," Sapphire said. Her tone made it quite clear that she wished she could join them.

"Yes, well," James said sarcastically, "it's so _difficult _to make a choice between suits. You could get a black one, or… _another_ black one, or how about… _another_ black one. There's _such_ a difference."

"Ok, ok, we get the point," Emma said. "Well, now that you're here, you can sit down and give us your opinion on _our_ clothes."

"Great," Remus muttered, although he sat down anyway. Finding a changing cubicle each, the girls began the long, arduous process of trying on clothes.

Emma, naturally, was the first person to find something she liked. After deciding against a silvery dress with a strange bit on the back that Sirius told her looked like a fish fin, she came out in a sheer red dress, made of satin. Held up by thin straps, it fell straight to the floor, hinting at curves. Emma examined her reflection, turning to the side and smoothing the dress over her hips.

"What do you think?" she asked questioningly. Looking round, she focused on Remus behind her on the sofa, his mouth hanging open. "Do I take that as a yes?" she asked, almost shyly.

When Remus made no response, James leaned over and closed his mouth firmly, before nudging in him the side. Recovering from his stupor, Remus quickly got up and walked over to stand beside Emma.

"The dress is nice," he said slowly. "But to be honest, I don't care what you wear, Emma. Just being there with you is enough." He bent down and gave her a brief, unexpected kiss. "I'm going outside for some air, alright? Choose whatever you like best."

Emma blushed in pleasure as he walked away. "This dress it is, then," she said, almost to herself, looking at the mirror once more before going back into her cubicle.

In contrast, both Sapphire and Lily were both having rather more difficulty in finding something they liked. After trying on four dresses, each in a different shade, Lily decided against them, on the basis that one was too tight, one too loose, one too frumpy, and one too revealing. Frustrated, she stalked out of the fitting rooms to face Sirius and James, both lounged on the sofa (Peter had followed Remus).

"I hate shopping for clothes," she stated, in a tone of false calm. "I am dumping these and going out to find something else."

A few minutes after she had disappeared, James too stood up. "I'm fed up," he said. "At least out in the shop you can watch other silly students worry over how their legs look like car park pillars." He kicked his bag over. "Do us a favour and look after the bags, Padfoot." Without giving Sirius a chance to protest, he too was gone.

Meanwhile, Sapphire was not faring much better than Lily. A cream gown, a red dress, and a greeny-blue affair of silk had all been discarded. Picking up her fourth dress, she examined it, watching the way the pink silk caught the light, simple cream embroidery adding a touch of stylish elegance with peach flowers, and felt a ray of hope. Maybe this would be the one…

Two minutes later, the delicate garment lay in a crumpled heap in a corner, where Sapphire had unceremoniously tossed it after deciding that the colour didn't suit her.

Growing irritated with Emma, for talking her into this, and herself for being talked into it, Sapphire pulled on the final dress, and stared at herself. It was, for the most part, a deep midnight blue, with one shoulder a full sleeveless fit, and the other a thin strap. From there, it fell straight down until the bottom, where one side flared out diagonally in strips of blue from dark to light.

It looked alright, she decided. _More or less passable_. Turning, she looked at the side view. _Still, I should go and check in the big mirrors – better lighting there_. She shoved the curtain of the changing room aside and crossed over to the waiting area, looking at herself in the mirror.

"How do I look?" she mused quietly. "Good enough for her Highness, the Queen of Fashion?"

There was a short pause, and then, all of a sudden, came a low male voice. "You – it looks lovely."

Sapphire swivelled to face none other than Sirius, sitting alone on the sofa, watching her with a strange expression. A few seconds of silence passed as she opened and closed her mouth soundlessly.

"Well, I certainly won't be buying this one, then," she snapped finally, before walking back to her cubicle.

_Forget it,_ she thought, as she put her own clothes back on. _I'd rather go naked than go in something _he's_ approved. I'll find something else. Easily._

_Won't I?_

When she came back out, there was no one left on the sofa, and she walked back into the main shop to see Emma and Lily going through yet another rack of dresses. 

"…stupid, Em,' Lily was saying. 'I'll just transfigure a dress I already have into something suitable. We're wasting time."

"What's going on?" Sapphire asked, putting all her dresses back onto the rail.

"Lily can't find anything," Emma replied. She eyed Sapphire. "And what happened to you, missy?"

"Uhm…" Sapphire had the best intentions when she said the next thing. "I'm…going to come and get it…later…so I don't carry it around and…and drop it." She looked around the shop for a change of subject. "Why's only James here?"

"The others are outside," Emma replied briefly. "Come on you, we're finding you something."

"Just pick anything," Sapphire said exasperatedly. She thrust her hand in and lifted out a random hanger. "Like…I dunno…this."

Lily stared at the dress for a moment. "It's pretty," she said, reaching out to touch it gently.

"What? I was only joking…" Sapphire looked at the dress she was holding. At first glance, it was nothing special. A simple dress of green satin, with slim straps and a body that pulled in at the waist and then flared out. Certainly nothing that was radically different to any of the other thousand and one dresses. But, as Lily held it up against herself, Sapphire realised why Lily was so captured by it. It was nothing special, but it suited her. Perfectly.

"It's lovely," Emma said. She circled the dress, and then turned over the price tag and winced. "As long as you're wiling to spend the rest of your life on the streets."

Lily looked at the price tag and shook her head. "I can't afford this." She looked wistful as she put it back on the rail. "It doesn't matter. I can transfigure my white dress and it'll look fine."

"So I'm the only one buying anything now?" Emma looked at their empty hands. "You two are hopeless."

She paid for her dress, and they exited the shop, dragging James away with them. Outside, having agreed to meet up again at the Three Broomsticks in an hour and a half, everyone went their separate ways to begin the arduous process of present-buying.

For Lily, the main problem was not what to get anyone, but how to get it without them seeing. She walked into the bookshop at least three times, only to see Remus, Sapphire, and – surprisingly enough – Sirius in the shop at different times. Peter was both the easiest and one of the hardest people to buy for. She had no idea what he would like, and wondered about it for a while before giving up and buying him a box of Honeydukes finest fudge. Sirius too, was a puzzle. Lily debated over chocolate (before remembering how hyper he got on sugar), a joke book (before deciding he didn't need any more cheesy jokes) and a prank handbook (before realising that a) he was dangerous enough without it, and b) he had probably done most of them already). Eventually however, she gave in to the inevitable and bought him something she knew she would regret later – a discount card which gave the owner a discount off any item bought in any joke shop, valid for a year.

Sapphire and Emma were relatively easy to shop for. She bought a set of three friendship necklaces, each with a third of a ring as the pendant – the idea, as the shopkeeper explained, was that rings went on forever, whereas hearts could be broken. Convinced, Lily paid and left the shop. As she came outside, she saw Emma leave the bookshop and darted across and in before anyone else could get there. Inside, she found the perfect present for Remus: _101 Things to Do When You're a Creature of the Night_. The book was filled with humorous suggestions, and Lily thought it would definitely put a different spin on things for him.

Now there was only one person left. James. What on earth was she supposed to get him? After checking out the Quidditch shop and joke shop, she lost heart and wandered along aimlessly, hoping for inspiration as she window-shopped.

After a while, she looked up and realised that Sapphire was doing exactly the same thing across the street.

"Hey," she said, walking over. "How's it going?"

"Not so good," Sapphire said. "I've got one present left to buy, but I – I don't -"She stopped and bit her lip.

Lily eyed her friend. "What's up?" she asked.

Sapphire fiddled with her fingers, looking uncomfortable, for a moment. "It's – it's Black," she burst out. "I don't know if – should I even bother buying him anything?"

Lily looked at her friend for a long moment. "Well I don't know if I'm qualified to comment, seeing as I have that problem with someone else…but if you've bought everyone else something, then you should get him something too – I mean, whatever you think of him, it's not nice to be left out."

"Yeah, I guess," Sapphire mumbled. She stuffed her hands in her pockets. "So, who's your problem present person?"

"James," Lily muttered quietly. "I have no idea what to get him – or even what's appropriate to get him."

Sapphire looked thoughtful, but then shook her head. "Sorry, can't help you – I probably know less about it than you. How about…something from your past? A photo or something? Something to commemorate your time at Hogwarts?"

Lily's face lit up suddenly. "The past…that's it! Saffy, you're a genius!" She turned and walked off quickly, calling a "See you later!" over her shoulder.

Shrugging, Sapphire turned her attention to her own problems. Sighing, she pushed open the door of the shop she was outside, figuring that she was just as likely to get lucky here as anywhere else.

The shop was an assortment of various, random curios, and Sapphire wandered from one display to another. The owner came out from behind the cash desk: a tallish blonde witch in her early thirties, with about seven scarves of varying shades of purple draped around her neck.

"Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully.

"I…don't know," Sapphire answered vaguely. "I need to get a gift for someone…only I don't know what to get…or what's sort of…suitable."

"Ah, a difficult case, eh?" The witch winked. "Well, when I'm confused, I find there's only one way forward. Close your eyes, reach out, and pick. Let your heart guide you, not your eyes."

Sapphire shrugged again. "I'm so desperate I'll try anything." She shut her eyes, reached forward, and touched something that was cool and smooth beneath her fingertips. Opening her eyes, she saw a strange kind of crystal ball, with white fog swirling inside. Not bothered about what it was, she promised to read the leaflet, paid, and left the shop, hoping for a quick spell in Honeydukes before she met the others again.

-&-

James was the first person to arrive at the Three Broomsticks, having dodged Maddie and her requests – or rather, demands – for money for the third time. Wallet intact, he opened the door with his foot and walked in.

The warmth hit him at once, bringing life back to his hands and face, and over the sounds of cheerful students having a good day out, he looked around for any of his friends, determinedly ignoring the giggly waves of some sixth-year Gryffindors.

He didn't see anyone…but he did see something else. Tom was seated at the bar…but he wasn't alone. Serena was standing in front of him, hands on hips.

Carefully, James edged over to an empty booth and dumped his three bags on it, watching Tom and Serena out of the corner of his eye. For some reason, the sight was making him uneasy, even though Tom didn't seem the type to cheat on anyone.

_It's not the 1800s_, he reminded himself sternly. _Boys are allowed to converse with more than one girl_. Still, there was a gut feeling that he couldn't quite place…

As he pretended to busy himself with his bags, he saw Tom touch Serena lightly on the waist and say something. She laughed (almost snidely, James thought) and walked off, leaving Tom alone, idly playing with the handle of his tankard of Butterbeer.

Deciding that he couldn't play around with his bags any longer, James went up to the bar on the pretext of ordering a drink.

"Alright, Tom?" he asked, watching Madam Rosmerta get sidetracked by a demanding patron (who also appeared to be more than slightly drunk).

"Yeah. You?"

"Cold, but yeah, alright," James answered, leaning on the bar top.

"Been up to Christmas shopping?" Tom asked, nodding at the booth where his bags lay on the table.

"Yeah. Have you already got it done?"

"More or less." Tom grimaced. "It's just hard to find a present for Lily. It's our hundredth day anniversary on Christmas Day, so I have to get something special."

"How nice," James said blandly. "She hasn't mentioned it to any of us."

"Ah well." Tom gave him what James assumed to be a superior look. "Matters of a serious relationship, you know…no one likes to publicise these things."

James shrugged. "True," he said mildly. "Cheers, Rosie!" he called, as Rosmerta set his drink down and moved away, giving him a smile over her shoulder.

"So, any idea what I could get her? You know, since you're her _friend_ and everything?" Despite his casual tone, James heard the slight inflection and grimaced inwardly.

_You know, I really _wasn't_ aware of our relationship to each other until you clarified it so well._

"No idea," he said, keeping his face carefully blank. "Sorry, can't help you very much."

"Yeah, I guess…since you're not really in the same position…" Now the look on his face was _definitely_ smug.

"Mmhmm." The door swung open. "Oh, Sirius is here. See you later, Tom."

"Bye," came the reply.

There was still an air of uneasiness hanging over James as he made his way over, but as Sirius' dulcet tones broke across the pub to him, "Prongs! Whatcha get me?" he knew he would have to shelve his concerns for another day.

-&-

**A/N**: Sorry for ever-long delays between chapters - life seems to catch up with me very suddenly. Hopefully you all liked Deathly Hallows - definitely ended the series with a bang! Anyway, only one chapter more until the Ball and Drama with a capital D…

So, how about a review?


	34. Presents Galore

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

-&-

Chapter 34: Presents Galore

"I love Saturday evenings," Emma said lazily, from the floor. She was sitting in front of Remus, who was reading a book on the sofa while James and Sirius played chess.

Lily lifted her head. "You do realise it's _not_ Saturday evening?" she questioned.

"Yep," Emma said cheerfully. "But I like Saturday evening the best."

"As opposed to…Friday evenings?" Remus asked. He looked carefully at his girlfriend, the expression on his face suggesting that he was wondering if she was quite alright in the head.

"Of course," Emma said. She placed the brush back in the bottle of nail polish, and wiggled her toes to make them dry. "Think about it. On Friday night, you're tired after school, and you know you should get started on the weekend homework. On Sunday evening, you've just spent the day doing homework, and have the prospect of another week to get through. But on Saturday evening, you've spent a day relaxing, and you've got a whole twenty-four hours before you go back to school. That's why I like Saturday best."

Lily regarded Emma for a long moment. "Em," she said slowly, "that was a very random thing to say. Are you aware of that?"

"I was just making a point!" Emma said defensively. "It's so qui -"

"Dammit!" James groaned in frustration. Sirius was watching smuggle as his queen dragged the white knight off the board.

Pretending to buff his nails on his t-shirt, Sirius inspected his nails modestly. "Never challenge a master, my friend."

"Oh, so that doesn't include you then," James retorted. He stared hard at the chessboard.

"Move your castle to C5," Lily said, raising her chin from her knees.

James rolled his eyes. "I _think_ I know how to play chess, Lily," he said, moving a pawn instead.

"Sirius, bishop to F7," Lily said offhandedly.

Sirius stared at the board, a faint line of concentration appearing on his brow, before looking up. "Lily, you're a genius!" he exclaimed, as he ordered his bishop, which razed straight through the square James' pawn had just vacated to take down his queen, and drag her, kicking and screaming, off the board.

The white king turned around. "Unhand us, foul sir!" he bellowed at James, who looked taken aback, "and allow yon fair maiden to direct our battle!"

James turned. "Fine, Lily, you come sit here with me."

For a second, Lily looked as though she was going to contest him, but then she shut her mouth and moved over beside James – a little _too_ meekly.

"Castle to H2," she said, and the piece moved. Sirius studied the board. Suddenly he let out a whoop.

"Queen to F4," he said jubilantly. "Checkmate." The white king was forced to throw down his crown at the feet of the black queen.

James turned to Lily in disbelief. "I thought you were helping _me_!" he said.

"Oh, I was," Lily replied innocently. "I was helping you deflate your ego. It needed a pinprick."

Sirius burst into fresh laughter. "Thanks, Lil! I owe you one!"

James scowled. "I demand a rematch," he said. "Without the Chessmaster's help."

"Done." Sirius smirked. "Just don't expect to win."

Lily rolled her eyes and moved back to where she had been sitting as James and Sirius began setting up the pieces again.

"So," Emma said chattily. "Who's everyone going to the ball with?" When no one answered, she pressed on. Lily would have thought it an innocent conversation…had she not seen the gleam in Emma's eyes. "Well, Remus and I are going together, obviously." She smiled up at Remus, whose arm was draped casually around her shoulder, and he gave her a brief squeeze back. "How about you, Sirius?"

"Madhura," Sirius said absently.

Emma screwed up her nose. "That pretty Ravenclaw? The one whose friend just got her leg out of the cast?" (It had been a school joke when the girl in question had broken her leg by falling off her chair and then tripping over a table, two chairs and her own bag, one after the other. She was notoriously accident-prone.)

Sirius nodded, and Emma carried on. "And Saffy…Saffy isn't going with anyone, as far as I know…she's turned everyone down…" She stole a glance at Sirius, whose head was bent. "I can't understand why."

"And Lily? What about you?"

"Tom," Lily answered easily. "He asked me two weeks ago."

There was a cry as a chess piece was knocked off the board by James' elbow. It plummeted to the floor and James dived down to retrieve it, taking his time under the table.

"Okay," Emma said thoughtfully. "So…that leaves you, James. Who's the lucky girl?"

Perhaps it was a trick of the firelight, but James' cheeks looked almost glowing as he removed himself. "Uhm…er…ouch!" He cursed as his head hit the table, and backed up until he could stand up. "Well, there is none. I'm going…alone, so to speak. Stag."

For some reason, Sirius snorted with laughter at this, and tried to turn it into a loud coughing fit as everyone stared.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked, watching curiously as James glared daggers at his friend.

"N – nothing," Sirius, failing to control himself, got out, in between spurts of laughter.

Lily opened her mouth to ask more, but just then, a figure ran down the stairs and tripped over Lily's legs, landing on top of Emma.

"What on earth's going on?" Lily asked, raising herself to look across at the whirlwind that was Sapphire, now sprawled across Emma's lap.

Sapphire got up sheepishly. "I…er…need you and Emma…in the dorm," she said vaguely.

"What for?" Emma asked, wriggling her toes again to make the polish sparkle.

"Just…uhm, homework…but I need you really soon…like, _now._" Sapphire grabbed her friends' arms, and without further ado, began to drag them off, ignoring Lily's cry of, "But it's the middle of the holidays. You don't do work in the hol -" Her voice was cut off as they reached the stairs, and the boys had no choice but to shrug and return to what they were doing.

When they reached the dorm, Emma and Lily tugged their arms out of Sapphire's and stared at her expectantly, as she knelt down and picked something up, before shaking it in their faces. It wa s a small crystal ball.

"Uh…Saffy? You might need to give us some verbal clues to go with that," Lily said carefully.

"This!" Sapphire hissed. "How am I supposed to give _this_?"

"What?" Emma asked.

"You're going to have to be clearer if you want us to respond," Lily added.

Sapphire took a deep breath. "Okay. Lily. Remember I was having problems with a present for – for - " She hesitated.

"Sirius," Lily finished for her. "Yeah, I remember."

"Well…well I went into the shop, and I didn't know what to get him, but the lady said just to close my eyes and pick so I closed my eyes and picked this thing and it's totally inappropriate because – because - Idon'tlikehiminthatway," Sapphire ended in a rush.

After pausing for a moment to try and understand the garbled mess that Sapphire had just given them, Lily regarded the crystal ball, which was still foggy.

"It looks harmless enough," she said. "I mean, what's the worst it can do – display 'Sapphire loves Sirius' inside when you look in?"

Emma sniggered.

Sapphire scowled heavily.

"I do NOT like Sirius!" she said petulantly. "But…in terms of the…the _thing_, you're uhm…not far off." She turned around to pick up a piece of parchment, and handed it to Emma, who read it with raised eyebrows, and then handed it back.

"Okay, so what we have here is a crystal ball which reveals the feelings of the giver towards the receiver. Supposedly, it goes through various stages of…fogginess…before displaying the word 'Love' at the centre, in 'full clarity'." She sounded diplomatic, but Lily could see the glint in her eyes.

"Well, I'm beginning to see where your…predicament is," she said delicately.

"Exactly!" moaned Sapphire. She stared wildly at the innocent-looking crystal. "I can_not_ give this to him! Not if it's the last thing on earth!" Picking up a bottle of perfume, she examined it. "How about this? I'm sure he's always wanted a bottle of…Dolce and Gabbana?"

"No, he doesn't," Lily snatched the bottle off her, "because that's _my_ perfume, and I practically paid half my bank account for it."

Groaning, Sapphire sank to the floor, clutching the ball as if by squeezing it she could change what it was.

"Look," Emma said sensibly. "We might be – okay, _you_ might be – worrying over nothing. For all we know, this could be a piece of cheap crap, which'll never work anyway."

"It better not be cheap crap!" Sapphire protested hotly. "I paid good money for that!"

Then she realised what she was saying.

"I mean…I hope it _doesn't_ work. I can always…" she sighed, "forget the money."

"Well," Lily said pragmatically. "There's only one way to check it. We should test it."

"On what?" Emma saw the look on Lily's face, and looked down at herself. "Oh."

"Look at it this way, Em. You're the only one of us with a boyfriend who can be completely trusted."

"Well, no time like the present." Sapphire jumped up. "Come on." She walked out and down the stairs, leaving Emma and Lily to follow hopelessly in her wake.

Sapphire walked straight up to Remus. "Remus, can we borrow you for a moment?" she asked innocently.

All three boys turned round, and Remus frowned in suspicion. "Am I likely to get hurt or humiliated?" he asked.

Sapphire put her hand to her heart. "I swear that none of the above will happen."

"What's in your hand?" Sirius asked curiously, gesturing at the hand she held behind her back.

"A bomb, specifically designed to dispose only of you," Sapphire answered sweetly. "Remus, coming?"

Remus lifted himself slowly off the couch, but Sapphire grabbed his arm and towards the girls' dorms. For the second time that night, James and Sirius were left to shrug hopelessly.

Remus stopped short when he saw where he was being led, but Sapphire pulled impatiently.

"Come on, I'm not actually taking you _up_ there."

They came to a stop just before the stairs, and the girls crowded in close, making Remus look unnerved.

"Have you got it?" Lily asked breathlessly.

Sapphire took her arm from behind her back, and gave the crystal to Emma. Remus raised his eyebrows as he saw its swirling depths.

"You're thinking of trying to be a Divination Professor?"

"No!" Sapphire said. "Just please…don't ask questions?"

Emma held the ball for a moment, and then passed it to Remus, who took it as if expecting it to blow up in his face.

"It's not going to work, it's not going to work…" Sapphire muttered hopefully.

Slowly, the orb began to pulse gently, and the mist seemed to dissolve into itself, getting thinner and thinner. A soft red glow began to emanate from its depths.

"It's getting warmer," Remus said, looking slightly bewildered.

Eventually, the crystal became suffused with a warm light. A golden sparkle appeared in the middle, and traced a pattern, which became, in glittering gold cursive, the word _Love_.

"It's beautiful," Lily said in awe.

"It _works_," Sapphire said, shoulders slumping. Lily made a slashing motion to tell her to shut up, and all three stood, thinking of the implications.

The silence was broken by Remus. "Uh, sorry to interrupt you, but my hands are sort of burning off. This thing is _hot_."

"Sorry," Sapphire said, taking it. "Well, thanks Remus." She made for the stairs and disappeared, Lily following swiftly behind. Only Emma remained to give Remus a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said softly. "Do us a favour and keep this under wraps, ok?" She walked off, and Remus (still as confused as before) returned to his book.

Back upstairs, Sapphire sank back to the floor, clutching the crystal. "So what do I do?" she asked despondently.

Emma shrugged. "I don't suppose you could swap it with any of your other presents?"

Sapphire thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Nope." Suddenly, she looked hopeful. "Couldn't I switch it with any of yours?"

Both Emma and Lily shook their heads. "It wouldn't work," Lily said.

Sapphire glared down at the ball, and its instructions. She picked up the instructions again. "Maybe there's some way to turn it off." Scanning through the instructions, her face darkened. "Okay, maybe not." She flung the sheet haphazardly and set the ball back in its box. "You know what? I'll deal with this later. I probably won't get him anything at all."

Seeing that there was nothing to do about it, Emma got up. "Suit yourself." The three girls began to get ready for bed, discussing the merits of a new song.

None of them noticed the instruction leaflet, lying innocuously where it had been thrown under Sapphire's bed.

-&-&-&-

Slowly, the hours passed by, minute by minute, until it was finally Christmas Eve. The only topic of conversation in the entire student body seemed to be the ball next day – Lily had never seen the school so engaged. From Gryffindors to Slytherins, from third-years to seventh-years, it was possible to predict exactly what was being discussed in every conversation. There seemed to be no exception to this rule, and most people were bustling around cheerfully, getting themselves ready with outfits.

The key word there was "most".

Two people in particular were not wholly able to join in the Christmas spirit. Sirius and James were both uneasy, although for different reasons. Had they confided in each other, they would have found a willing listener, but for James, communication was impossible due to the nature of his worry, and for

Sirius, it was just too humbling.

Sirius had been watching, over the past few days, with a deep sense of self-mistrust, the number of boys trailing after Sapphire. It wasn't that she was extremely pretty, he convinced himself, or that she was surprisingly nice to people who weren't him. She had nothing outstanding in the way of personal attraction, he told himself sternly. But then why did boys follow her like flies? It wasn't as if she even wanted the attention – more often than not she sent them packing with her sharp tongue…or a sharp punch.

It must be the idea of forbidden fruit, Sirius decided. She refused every boy that asked her so vehemently that it just increased her appeal. That was all.

It still didn't explain why she was turning everyone down, though. Aside from the usual pack of scavengers (seemingly headed by Leon Wilkes), there were several boys whom he was fairly sure Sapphire would have a good time with. Yet all got rejected, regardless of everything in their favour.

Sirius couldn't understand it at all.

-&-

Meanwhile, James was toying with a very different concern…or perhaps not so different after all. A tiny part of his mind was nagging at him, telling him that he owed it to Lily to tell her…and yet, every time he had had an opportunity, he lost all courage, and had chosen to remain silent.

_So much for being a bloody Gryffindor_.

He looked up. She was sitting opposite him right now, attacking her pasta voraciously. He didn't want to be the one to have to upset her, as he knew his words would…or worse still, what if all his hears were ungrounded, and she ended up hating him?

Why was it so damned difficult to make a choice?

On the other hand, he reasoned with himself, what if he just cautioned her…just warned her, so to speak?It couldn't do too much harm, right?

He would have to hope. Waiting until she finished her dinner, he asked if he could speak to her alone. With a look of surprise, she agreed, and followed him out of the hall. They stopped just past the doors, and James turned to face her. He tried to think of the best way to put it.

"Lily, I…I need to, uhm, warn you about something…" Seeing her look of alarm, he hastily elaborated. "It's nothing serious…just…as a close friend – I thought I should tell you."

"What is it?" Lily asked curiously.

"It's…" James exhaled, and ran a hand through his hair. He avoided her wide eyes, choosing instead to focus on the floor. "It's just that you should be careful of - "

"Lily!" Tom was walking down the stairs. He smiled at Lily, and then regarded James with only the slightest hint of distrust… which James did not miss.

"I'll catch up with you later," Lily called. Tom nodded slightly, his eyes still on James, who was attempting unsuccessfully to keep his expression as unhostile as possible.

Unfortunately for him, Lily turned round sooner than he expected, and saw his face. She pursed her lips and looked back at the doors through which Tom had passed, then back at James, clearly putting two and two together.

"Oh no, not this." She sighed. "James, Tom is totally safe, he is not about to do anything that I don't want him to do, and we are perfectly happy together."

"It's not -" James bit his lip, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself. It was no good now. Anything he said would be taken the wrong way, no matter what it was about.

"Never mind," he said at last. "It doesn't matter."

"You sure?" Lily scrutinised his face carefully.

"Yeah. See you around."

As Lily headed back into the hall to find Tom, James was left with the sinking feeling that as good as a chess player as Lily was, she was fast coming up against a player whose moves she would never foresee.

-&-

"Wake up, wake up!" Sapphire jumped onto Emma's bed. Emma mumbled something and turned over, but this did not faze Sapphire.

"Wake up!" she repeated cheerfully, bouncing on the bed. "It's Christmas! Presents, food, chocolate!"

"Did someone say 'food'?" Lily sat up, suddenly wide awake.

"Yep!" Sapphire sang out. "And presents and chocolate!"

"Well I'm up," Lily said, grabbing a towel.

Emma groaned, opening her eyes. "It's…six-thirty in the morning. You two kids go down…I'll follow later."

"Nuh-uh!" Sapphire protested. She pulled the quilt off Emma, and then, pulling her arms, raised her to her feet. "You're coming with us!"

With much grumbling from Emma, the three of them got showered and dressed, and tumbled down to the common room, presents in hand. Conveniently, they gained a corner by the warm fire.

Just thirty seconds later, Sirius bounded down the boys' staircase, followed by three weary-looking boys.

"Presents, food, chocolate!" he sang out happily. "Merry Christmas, all!"

"He woke you up?" Lily asked, casting an eye at Sirius.

"Bounced on my bed and then pulled me out," Remus affirmed.

"Join the gang," Emma said. She rubbed her eyes.

"Presents!" Sirius called cheerfully. "Give everyone your gifts!"

Soon enough, everyone had a stack of parcels in front of them, of different shapes and sizes. Oddly enough, though, James' four all looked exactly the same, even in different wrapping paper, except for one – Peter's. James looked up curiously.

"Am I that hard to shop for, that you all had to buy me the same gift?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Well, if they all bought you what I did…" He looked around. "Open them, James."

James opened them one by one. They were all the same: a book. By twisting her head, Lily could read the titles, _How to Overcome Your Shyness_.

"You think James is _shy_?" she asked quizzically.

"Uhm…" Sapphire mumbled. "Well…it was more about a specific case…" She watched as James opened the book to the first page. He read the inscription, and flushed red.

"What does it say?" Lily asked.

"Never mind," James said quickly, snapping the book shut. He opened the front page of each of the remaining books before slamming them all shut, his face growing redder with each one, until he looked almost ready to explode.

"What do they _say_?" Lily asked impatiently.

"I'm guessing yours were along the same lines as mine?" Remus asked Sapphire, Emma and Sirius.

"Yeah," came the general reply.

"Well," Sirius cut in briskly, "now that we've seen what James got, how about the rest of us?"

Much laughter was heard as the rest of them opened their boxes. Peter had bought everyone chocolate, and was rather surprised to find that everyone had bought him exactly the same, right down to the type.

"I might as well have just kept the same things and saved myself the three hours it took to wrap these," he grumbled.

"It took you _three hours_ to wrap six square boxes of chocolates?" Lily asked incredulously.

Peter looked uncomfortable. "I, er, got a bit…tangled…in the spellotape."

Everyone snorted as Emma looked at her present from Remus. "Oh Remus, you bought me…shoes?"

Lily had to admit, the blue box did look a lot like a shoebox.

"Not quite," Remus said, with a smile. "Open it."

Emma carefully lifted the lid and gasped. "Remus!" With the utmost care, she reached in and lifted out a single, hand blown, glass rose.

"It's _beautiful_," she said reverently, watching it catch the light. "Remus, you're amazing!" She leaned over to kiss him.

The girls' presents to each other were also surprisingly similar. Emma had bought her friends a mood stone bracelet each, with all their initials linked together in an intricate design inscription on the inside. Sapphire had chosen rings, which warmed when the person thought of the other wearers, and Lily had bought them each a necklace. When put together, the three pendants formed an unbroken ring, each with a different stone set into it; a sapphire for Sapphire, ruby for Emma, and an emerald for Lily.

Sirius, as Emma put it, was set to be a downright menace after he had opened all his presents. Lily, after wondering what she could buy in the joke shop that he didn't already have, had presented him with a card that gave him a twenty percent discount at any joke shop (Sirius nearly kissed her when he worked out what the "little piece of plastic" could do). In addition, Remus had given him an assortment of prank necessities, including a large bag of Dungbombs (Lily decided then and there to confiscate them as soon as humanly possible). Not to mention the pile of vouchers for free Butterbeer that he had received from Emma, which clearly ensured that he would deprive Madam Rosmerta of her profits from him for a while to come.

Sapphire's present, however, was more of a puzzle. Sirius looked surprised when he realised who it was from – he clearly hadn't expected anything from her, although he had given her the same present as he had given Emma; a framed photo of the seven of them, all squashed on and around the sofa in the common room. Carefully, he unwrapped the box and picked up the crystal ball.

"It's very…nice," he said. He examined it for a moment. "Uh…what is it?"

"Isn't there - " Sapphire began. She looked cautiously at the mess of wrapping. With a sudden movement across the floor that startled Sirius, causing him to jump back, she reached for the wrapping, and began searching through it, untwisting it all, and even shaking out the clear box.

Having decided that there was clearly nothing to be salvaged in the mess of shredded paper, she looked back at her friends with an expression that clearly screamed, _What the hell do I do?_

Emma jumped in. "Have you forgotten, Saffy? There was no…uh…gift tag with it. That's what you're looking for, isn't it?"

Sapphire picked up the hint quickly. "Uhm, yeah. Oh well." She moved away. "It's just a…a,uh, crystal ball. You know, in case you ever want to take up Divination."

Remus was frowning. "Isn't that -"

Emma turned around, and with a surprising presence of mind, leaned over Remus. 'Remus,' she muttered sweetly. 'If you don't say anything now, I promise I'll…_reward_…you later.'

Remus obligingly shut his mouth.

'Ok…' Sirius said dubiously. 'Well, thanks.'

Strangely enough, Sirius' presents seemed to be devoid of tricks themselves. His most suggestive one, as far as Lily could see, had been a cologne he had given Remus: Dangerous Obsession. That was, of course, until Lily got to her own from him.

It was a fairly small rectangular box. As Lily looked at it, it seemed to jump slightly, and she put it quickly down.

'Sirius,' she asked warily, 'is there anything…_alive_ in there?'

Sirius smiled. 'Open it.'

Slowly, Lily unwrapped it, keeping her fingers clear of the openings she revealed. Eventually, the green paper was off, and inside was a small plastic box. Within it was a statue of a fairy. It looked like a Muggle version, delicate coppery waves spilling over pale shoulders against an orange and pink dress. A tiny length of gold tinsel was tied around its waist, with a small bag dangling, and it carried a sprig of mistletoe in one hand.

Lily lifted it carefully out. 'She's pretty,' she said wonderingly, looking at the realistic face, perfect even down to long, fluttery eyelashes.

As she held it, the ceramic seemed to warm up from the heat of her hands. Lily turned it to a side to examine the delicate wings behind, when she felt a sudden movement in her hand. Startled, she loosened her grip, but instead of falling to the floor, the fairy seemed to give a little kick, and its wings fluttered free, bursting into life. It soared upwards.

'Merry Christmas, all!' it trilled.

'It's _real_?' Lily gaped upwards in disbelief.

'So to speak.' Sirius smiled again, but there was a hint of mischief in his eyes.

'Merry Christmas, all!' the fairy sang again. Putting one hand into its little pouch, it showered Lily with a handful of green glitter.

Lily shook her hair. 'What _is_ it?'

'A mistletoe fairy.'

Everyone watched as the fairy tossed another handful of green glitter over her hair.

'A what?'

'A mistletoe fairy.'

'Okk…" Lily said uncertainly.

'Merry Christmas, all!' The fairy threw another handful of glitter over her. Lily began to look annoyed as she shook green specks out of her hair.

'Ok, that's enough now,' she said. 'Go and Merry Christmas someone else.'

The fairy did not budge. 'Merry Christmas, all!' it said, and threw another handful.

Irritated, Lily got up and moved away, but the fairy simply fluttered until it was hovering above her again, showering her with glitter until the ground was littered with it.

'Sirius,' she said crossly. 'How do I get it to stop chucking glitter?'

'You don't,' Sirius said simply.

'What?' Lily stared at him. 'There's no way to get rid of it?'

'Oh, I didn't say there was no way to get _rid_ of it,' Sirius said smugly.

'Merry Christmas, all!' the fairy said cheerfully.

'How, then?' Lily demanded.

Sirius mock-sighed. 'It's a _mistletoe_ fairy, Lily. Use your brain.'

'I have to…I have to kiss someone?' she questioned, narrowing her eyes.

Sirius nodded. 'Right in one.'

Lily stared again. 'Ok, fine.' She turned around, as (conveniently), Tom walked down the stairs.

'Tom!' He stopped, startled, as she got up. The fairy fluttered energetically to keep up with her as she strode over.

Briefly, she kissed him on the lips. Tom looked shocked (although rather pleased) at the sudden action, but Lily had already stepped away, and was looking expectantly up.

'Well, nice knowing you,' she said upwards.

The fairy just giggled, and flipped her hair, dangling the mistletoe. 'Merry Christmas, all!' she trilled.

'Sirius…' Lily said, in a warning tone. 'Explain.'

'Uhm…' Sirius was wearing his most angelic expression. 'I might have…added…a few charms to the ones on it…'

'Such as?' Lily's voice was steely.

'Like that…you have to kiss a, uh, particular person…'

'Who?'

'Do you want me to announce it to the world?'

Lily sighed and walked across, bending down. Sirius muttered something into her ears. Lily leaped backwards.

'Sirius,' she said dangerously. 'Tell me you're joking.' Sirius shook his head vigorously. 'Oh God. This is _not_ happening.'

'Merry Christmas, all!' Another handful of glitter went into the air.

'Shut up!' Lily yelled at the giggling figure. She turned to Sirius. 'Is there _no_ other way of doing this?'

'Well, you could just live with Tinkerbell for the next year or so,' Sirius said innocently.

For a moment, Lily looked as though she was actually considering this…until the fairy delved into its pouch once more.

'For heaven's sake,' James said impatiently, '_who_ are you supposed to kiss? Snivellus?'

Lily stalked up to him, until her face was no more than an inch from his. 'It's not Snivellus,' she hissed. She yanked him to his feet. 'It's _you_.'

Before he could say anything, she had pulled him over and out of the portrait hole. She let it swing shut, then looked up.

'Ok, I'm really sorry…I know I make it sound worse than it is…I'd rather it was you than someone like Severus…'She swallowed, and then, ignoring the smirk on the Fat Lady's face, stood on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, as another wave of glitter cascaded down (the fairy had just managed to follow her out).

The fairy giggled – again – as Lily gave the password, and the two climbed back into the common room..

Getting back to her friends, Lily looked almost surprised (and more than a little frustrated) to see glitter still falling.

She looked up. 'Why aren't you going?' She looked back at Sirius. 'Why isn't it going?'

'There might have been…something else I forgot to mention,' Sirius mumbled.

Lily looked like she was about to explode. 'What more is there that you can make me do, Sirius?' she yelled, annoyed. 'Make me undress and do a lap dance for him in my knickers?' The entire group snorted, and James flushed bright red.

'No…' Sirius said innocently. 'Just a _little_ thing…'

'Just spit it out!'

'You have to…kiss him on the lips. In public.'

Lily looked deadly, and she wasn't the only one. James was sinking lower and lower in his chair, his face drained of colour.

'Sirius,' he muttered. 'I am going to _kill_ you.'

'This is one of your worst present ideas ever,' Lily confirmed.

'Really?' Sirius questioned. 'I thought I deserved a Nobel Prize for it!'

'In your dreams,' James mumbled.

'Merry Christmas, all!' The fairy seemed to decide that the best way to dispel the murderous look on Lily's face was to throw an extra-large handful of glitter over her. Lily let out a scream of frustration.

'That does it,' she said firmly. 'James, I'm sorry, but get up.'

'No -' James began to protest, but a glare from Lily silenced him, and he got up reluctantly.

Lily stepped closer to him, trying her best to ignore the looks of anticipation on the others' faces.

'James,' she said softly, so that the others couldn't hear. 'I'm really, really sorry. If there was a way without all this...embarrassment, I would use it.'

James shrugged, and then shook his head as some of the glitter that the fairy was throwing landed on him.

She put her hand on his arm, telling her brain fiercely to shut up, and he bent his head towards her. Their lips brushed for only a second before Lily pulled back, fearing that it could turn into a repeat of last time. Even so, she could feel a spark shoot up her spine, making her shiver. As if to emphasise it, a blinding flash of white light erupted, and she blinked as she backed away from James.

Thinking it was the fairy, she looked up to smirk, only to see the fairy staring back down.

'Oh pooh!' it said indignantly, before it disappeared in a puff of green smoke, leaving a trail of glitter in the air.

Lily looked puzzled. 'But if that was the fairy going, what was the white -?'

She and James turned slowly…only to see Maddie standing next to Sirius, wearing a grin of the uttermost wickedness…and holding a camera.

It took a moment for what had happened to sink into Lily's mind.

James, however, was quicker on the uptake. 'You – you -' he spluttered.

'Nice doing business with you, Sirius,' Maddie said, smirking as she shook hands with him. 'This is possibly one of your best present ideas yet.'

'You – you _collaborated_ with his little _sister_?' Lily asked in disbelief.

Maddie simply looked smug.

'What can I say?' Sirius grinned. 'We're partners in crime.'

'Give me that camera!' James yelled, and leapt after her. Maddie dodged him and darted round the table.

'Hello? Help!' James called to Lily, who snapped to her senses and moved over the other side. For a moment, the three of them were frozen in a stalemate, Maddie feinting this way and that while the two older students started and stopped. Finally, they both closed in at the same time. It looked likely to be successful…until Maddie slipped under the table and crawled out of the other side, going round Remus, Emma and Sapphire, who were all helpless with laughter.

'Why did I ever teach you to play Quidditch?' James moaned, running after her, but it was too late. She pushed through the portrait hole, and they heard the pounding of her footsteps down the corridor.

'That girl is too fast,' Lily said, looking at the closing hole.

James rounded on Sirius. 'Padfoot, what the hell are you planning to do with the photos?' he demanded.

'No-thing,' Sirius said, in a sing-song voice.

'Sirius…'James said warningly.

'Nothing that involves the public, alright?'

James subsided, but shot him such a mutinous look that Sirius backed away to the window. He looked out.

'Hey!' he cried. 'Snow! Let's have a snow fight!'

There was a pause, and then, slowly, a general consensus of agreement.

'Sounds fun,' Emma said.

'Boys versus girls?' Remus suggested.

'But there are four of you and three of us,' Sapphire pointed out.

'Well, Lily has enough aggression for two people, so really, we're even,' Sirius said, earning himself a face from Lily.

'Okay,' Emma said. 'Meet back here in ten minutes with cloaks and stuff.'

Agreed, all seven people trooped upstairs to retrieve extra clothing against the cold. Lily was one of the first back down, and walked back to where they had been sitting to tidy up her presents, and the pile of wrapping paper she had discarded. As she put all the jewellery into the empty fairy box, her eye fell on James' four copies of _How To Overcome Your Shyness_, and she remembered how odd it was that he had got the same book _four_ times, and his strange uncomfortableness when he read the inside page…and yet she still didn't know what was in them…

A quick peek couldn't hurt, right?

She flashed an apprehensive look at the doorways to the dorms, and then hesitated, before, overcome with curiosity, she reached out to take the top book and open it to the front page. She cringed with embarrassment as she read the inscription:

_Dear James,_

_Merry Christmas! You'd better use this book to deal with your issues about Lily! _

_Sapphire_

Quickly, she closed the book and reached for the next one, her face burning. Surely they couldn't all be this bad?

_Dear James,_

_Stop being stupid and get a move on! Lily won't be sharing a common room with you for much longer! Merry Christmas!_

_Yours,_

_Emma_

_James,_

_I know you usually ignore my advice, but here's something for you that it would be in your best interests to consider. I want you to listen carefully, my friend:_

_Use this book with regard to a certain Miss Evans!_

_Remus_

_Prongs,_

_Only one thing I want to say: GET OFF YOUR LAZY ARSE AND STOP BEING SO SHY, GODDAMIT! You KNOW who I'm talking about!_

_The one and only,_

_Padfoot_

As she read the last message, a shadow fell over her. Hastily, she slammed the book shut and turned, only to see James looking down at her, hands in pockets.

'Sorry,' she said guiltily, standing up. 'I just wanted to know what they said.'

'Well now you do.' James' face was red.

'They can be such jokers, can't they?' Lily babbled, trying to fill the awkward silence that fell. 'They obviously haven't picked up on the fact that we're just – we're just friends.'

'Yeah,' came the weak reply.

He looked rather odd, Lily thought – a mix between embarrassment and slight despondency, although she wasn't entirely sure why. To cheer him up, she reached into a pocket.

'This is for you,' she said, handing him a small box.

James looked surprised, but accepted it, and she watched him smile as he unwrapped the box and opened it…only to find a smaller box inside instead.

'I know where this is going,' he said, laughing as he lifted the lid off to find an even smaller box.

'Bet you don't know what's in the middle, though,' Lily returned, eyes sparkling with a hidden smile as she watched James pull away two more boxes.

Finally, James was left with a parcel no bigger than the size of his palm, with twirly ribbon tied around it. Pulling the ribbon apart, he lifted the lid to reveal a small scroll of parchment. He looked puzzled as he unrolled it, but as he read the top, his expression changed to both shock and…well…hurt. Lily knew what he was reading.

_Three Hundred Reasons Why I Hate James Potter._

He scanned right the way down the list, which hung down to his knees, right the way down to number 300 (He thinks he's in a constant competition with every other boy in school to look good in my eyes, and it doesn't work), and the final words, _Signed, Lily Evans, aged fourteen_.

When he looked up, his voice was quiet. 'Is this what you really think of me?'

Lily shrugged, and placed a finger on the parchment. 'Lily Evans, aged seventeen,' she said clearly.

The messy script of a fourteen-year-old morphed into the smooth cursive of a seventeen-year-old. The scroll lengthened until it was trailing onto the floor.

'What the -?' James started.

Lily smiled. 'Look at the title _now_, James.'

James looked down. When he turned his hazel eyes back on her face, they were full of a joyful surprise.

_Six Hundred Reasons Why I Like James Potter._

And down at the bottom:

_Signed, Lily Evans, aged seventeen._

'Lily,' he said, his face breaking out into a grin. 'How can I – Thank you.'

'It's nothing,' Lily said. A part of her was hoping for something more in return, but at that moment, Sirius and Remus clattered down the stairs, and James put the scroll back in the box carefully and turned away, laughing, to them. Nothing more was said, and despite the warm glow it had given Lily to see James enjoy his real gift, a sinking feeling was fast settling in her stomach. He hadn't given her anything – not even a hug of acknowledgement.

_He doesn't consider me a friend._

-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

**A/N: **The next chapter is IT. The Big One. The Winter Ball. And ooh, the things that are planned... So, to honour it, I decided to leave you with some teaser lines of what's coming. It'll be interesting to hear what you think of them! Don't forget to leave a review, pretty please!

-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-&

Maddie sighed and shook her head. 'Honestly, James. I've known you fifteen years, I spent eleven of them being one of your only friends at home, and yet you still think you can lie to me and I won't realise. I know the truth. I can see it in your eyes.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She looked searchingly at Sirius and shook her head. 'Sirius, if you felt this strongly, why didn't you do something useful about it, instead of acting like you did?'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'I'm not the one for you. I realise that.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Emma's voice had taken on a note of real panic. 'Boys, where is she?'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	35. The Ball

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

-&-

**Chapter 35: The Ball**

The icy air snapped at Lily's face as soon as the door swung open, and she shivered, wondering if she was going to come out of this with frostbite. She looked around at the knee-deep expanse with anticipation as the others strode out, blinking against the glare, shivering, or (in James' and Sirius' case) cracking their knuckles with glee.

"Right," Sirius began, as he pulled his gloves on more securely. "I vote we go for a -"

But Lily was no longer paying attention. Emma had caught her eye, and exchanging a few meaningful glances, they both carefully grabbed a wodge of snow and backed away from each other, maintaining eye contact all the way.

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three…_

SMACK.

Ten seconds later, James and Remus were spluttering and clawing snow out of their mouths, while Lily and Emma clung to each other and laughed until they cried at the boys' expressions.

"You little -!" Remus shouted, trying to rub snow out of his eyes.

"This means WAR!" James roared.

"Snow battle!" Peter called excitedly. "Teams of two, fight to the death!"

"_Death_?" Sapphire asked skeptically, but no one seemed to care. Despite the fact she was still laughing, Emma had grabbed Remus' hand.

"AARGH!" James jumped and twisted wildly as Sirius snickered, having dropped a handful of snow down his cloak. "You - Right, I'm taking Lily, she's got good aim, and You Will Pay, Padfoot."

"Pete, you're with us," Remus called.

"Wait!" Sapphire had taken a step back. "That leaves me with _him_!" She pointed at Sirius, who was no longer laughing. "No! I won't!"

Remus glanced from her to his friend warily. "Sapphire…"

But Sapphire was looking mutinous, and now Sirius had turned away from her, kicking the snow.

"Okay, reshuffle," James said briskly, trying to break the tension. "Lily and I will split, and…"

"And you _won't_ be going with Sirius," Lily interrupted firmly. Sirius had turned back now, and both he and James looked more than a little disappointed. "No, don't try it," as James opened his mouth, "you'd be on us like bats out of hell, I don't trust you two."

"Oh, that's rich, after the little stunt you just pulled," Sirius shot at her, but he was clearly making an effort to recover his good humour as he stuck his tongue out.

"…so that leaves James and Saffy, and me and Sirius," Lily finished, immediately regretting it as Sirius strode over and threw his arm around her, causing her to sink a few inches into the snow.

"We're gonna WIN, Lilykins, these losers'll have no chance."

Lily staggered out of his embrace and glared, hands on hips. "Rule number one, do not call me Lilyk - Mmph!"

A snowball hit her in the face, and James burst into laughter. "Finally found a way to silence her!" he bellowed. "Let the games begin!"

-&-

Two hours later, the sleek expanse of the grounds looked as though it had been hit by a tornado, with snow churned up in flurries and drifts that either could or could not be hiding trees, bushes, rocks, or people. Emma, Remus and Peter had set up base near a tree, and were flinging snowballs with all the accuracy of small missiles, protected by a white wall. Sirius and Lily had spent the last twenty minutes fruitlessly trying to breach this by attacking from both sides, but as Lily stooped for another handful, there was a sudden battlecry, and James leapt out of nowhere onto Sirius, and she promptly lost them in an explosion of snow. The next minute, she choked with laughter as Sirius rose up, a ghostly white figure, only to be tripped by Remus' covertly-placed foot. As he went down again, Remus sat on him, and Emma rapidly covered him over, packing the flakes tightly. By the time he had emerged, spitting snow furiously, Emma and Remus had abandoned their hide-out for a bush further away, and Lily was almost on her knees with laughter, completely unaware of Sapphire behind her until a handful of snow found its way into her top. She shrieked, straightening up, but Sapphire was already out of aim.

"Oof!"

Another thump hit her in the back, and she turned wildly again to see James.

"Like my partner?" he called, grinning as he dodged Lily's hastily-made snowball. "She's got the quietest feet I've ever heard."

But Lily's attention was focused on the giant ball he held in his gloved hands, smoothing it over.

"James…you wouldn't -"

He raised an eyebrow, and a corner of his mouth quirked. "Oh wouldn't I?"

She dropped to the ground uselessly, as his arm came up, and the ball simply crumbled above her, showering her, and she stood up grinning - only to be knocked sideways again, just as James was.

"Ow!"

"Argh!"

Both looked round to see Emma and Remus wearing identically evil grins.

"Take them down together?" James asked, looking towards Lily.

"You bet," Lily said grimly, brushing snow off her eyelashes.

And they attacked.

-&-

It was a while yet until the five of them had finally given up and called a truce, and now they were sitting on a snow bank, comfortably Heating Charmed by James, reliving the best moments. A good ten minutes in, there was a group realisation that Sirius and Sapphire had both disappeared, and after much groaning, there was a mass movement to investigate their whereabouts.

It was James who found them first. He came across a double set of tracks, and pushing his way through some bushes, came out near the lakeside to find Sirius and Sapphire flinging snowballs at each other in deadly earnest. Throwing an arm out to halt Remus, who had come up behind him, he watched them, Sirius wearing a look of wicked amusement, Sapphire's eyes narrowed in a grim challenge. Both were circling each other, and James had a feeling that were they to replace snowballs with wands, this would not differ that much from a full-blown duel.

"Ouch!"

Sapphire and Sirius stopped dead in the act of compacting powdery handfuls and looked round to see James land face-first as first Emma and then Lily collided into his back.

"Have you found - oh!"

Groaning as Emma and Lily got up, James rolled over. "Girls, seriously, eat less. I think you've cracked a rib."

Lily raised her foot. "Want me to break another?" she questioned sweetly.

"Is that a challenge?" James countered, sitting up. "You really want to see who'd come off best in a fight?"

Emma, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Sapphire all simultaneously rolled their eyes and gave up, beginning the trek back up to the castle. Meanwhile, Lily crossed her arms and stared down at the ruddy-cheeked Head Boy at her feet.

"I'd be quite willing to try. Don't underestimate my size, you -" Her voice was lost in a shriek as James abruptly swung an arm into the back of her knees, causing her to buckle beside him. As she scrabbled for a handhold, he leaned forward, closer and closer, until he was no more than a few inches from her face, which was caught halfway between a glare and a smile. Almost in spite of herself, she stilled, and stared back, so close that she could see every snowflake caught in his messy hair.

"Merry Christmas, Lily," he whispered, his voice rough, his breath warm on her face.

The next moment, he had brought his hand up and blown a handful of snow straight into her eyes, before standing up and taking off at a dead run for the castle.

Further up, the others, and indeed, every other student out enjoying the weather, burst into laughter as a feminine voice echoed across the grounds, and a dark tall figure emerged, chased by a smaller one who was lobbing snow crazily behind.

"JAMES POTTER, I AM GOING TO _KILL_ YOU!"

-&-

The sound of bricks moving and a door opening pulled James out of his reverie, and he half-ran into the Heads' common room, bare feet and all.

"Where have you _been_?" he demanded from Lily, who was looking both startled and tired. He stared at her vest top, which was covered with smudges of colour - strange purply-pinks and glittery blues, not to mention a whole army of reds. "And why the hell are you wearing _that_ on a cold December evening?"

"Have _you_ ever been in a dormitory full of girls trying to look presentable?" Lily retorted. "Do you _know_ how warm it gets?" She straightened her top. "I was helping Maddie and her friends get ready." Her eyes rested on James properly for the first time. "Anyway, you're one to talk. What happened to _you_?" she asked, surveying his sweaty clothes and messier-than-usual hair.

"Helping set up," James answered briefly.

"But…weren't the professors meant to do that this time?"

James shrugged. "I was stupid enough to walk past and got roped in. No enchanting, just the manual labour…dragging tables and trees around…they only sent me off because Flitwick 'needed space' to do the final part of our decorations."

Lily smiled, shaking her head. "Bit difficult to say which of us got the raw end of the deal, isn't it?" She looked towards her room. "Well, I should go and -"

"No!" James interrupted. "I have to…stay here, okay? Don't move."

"As long as you're quick - Saffy and Emma'll be here in ten so _we_ can get ready….it was a better idea than trying to share a room with a pair of professional mirror-hoggers."

"Wait here." James went back to his room and pulled out a bag from under his bed. Coming back, he hesitantly offered it to Lily. "This is, er, your present…I, uh, didn't want to give it to you…in front of everyone…"

"James!" Lily exclaimed in surprise. She was so shocked that he _had_ given her something that it was a few moments before she remembered to actually take the large parcel. When she did, she frowned in confusion. It was big and squashy. Carefully, she opened the bag and put her hand in to feel something crumple beneath it, and then, beneath that, a silky material that flowed beneath her fingers like water. The next moment, the bag fell away, as did layers of tissue paper, and she found herself holding a dress.

Lily gasped. It was _The_ Dress - the beautiful gown she had seen in Hogsmeade and had thought unattainable, and yet here it was in her hands, in all its glory. She looked, openmouthed, at the boy opposite her, who was waiting nervously for some sign of approval. Finally her voice came back.

"It's - how could you - James, it's _beautiful_! Thank you so much!"

James grinned, but was quite unprepared when she hugged him tightly, ignoring his wet t-shirt. Gently, he extracted himself as an unpleasant pang reminded him of exactly who would be getting the full benefit of the dress.

"You'd better go get ready," he reminded her.

"Yeah…my room's untidy - they'll be here soon - but this - it's _amazing_ - how am I ever -" Lily stopped and laughed. "You've got me lost for words." She smiled at him, and carrying her present carefully, went into her room. James stood staring at the door long after it had closed behind her, until a sudden sound made him turn to see Emma and Sapphire, struggling in with a whole host of bags and boxes.

"She's in there," he said quickly, jerking his head in the direction of her room, and retired to his own, feeling inexplicably pleased.

-&-

A hour later, the girls had reached the halfway stage. Lily was sitting patiently as Emma tested eyeshadows on her, and Sapphire was perched precariously on the end of the bed, waving her hands in the air so that her nail polish would dry.

"Lily, this is no good!" Emma said in exasperation, turning to wipe her fingers on a towel. "I can't find any colour that'll go with your dress except gold or pink, and if you don't want either of those, I'm stuck! Saffy -" she gestured her over, "which looks better? Gold or pink?"

Sapphire stood up awkwardly and came over to study Lily's face. "Gold," she decided.

"But that's what I wore at Halloween!" Lily pointed out. "I don't want to look identical!"

Emma threw up her hands (Sapphire dodged before she was smacked in the face) and groaned. "But that's all that'll go with a white dress!"

"A white -" Lily looked confused for a moment. "My dress is green."

"No, it's white, remember? You said it was the dress you wore to the costume competition - the white one."

Lily shook her head. "Uhm…yeah…except I'm not wearing that now. I must have forgotten to tell you. I have another one to wear. It's in the blue bag in the corner."

Emma looking bemused, turned in that direction, but Sapphire stopped her. "It's alright, I think my nails are dry now." She took the bag and opened it carefully on the bed. Both she and Emma let out a long breath as the green satin flowed out.

"It's lovely!" Sapphire said, almost reverently, picking it up with care and holding it to the light. A frown creased her forehead. "Isn't this the one you found when we were shopping in Hogsmeade?"

"The one _you_ found," Lily corrected her. She shifted uncomfortably. "It was my Christmas present from James," she said awkwardly.

If anything, Emma's eyes simply got wider. "Your present - but this must have cost a fortune!"

"I know." Lily squirmed even more. "He just told me to shut up when I said that, though."

"Well," Sapphire said finally, placing the dress carefully back down. "He certainly is generous."

"Yes, he is," Emma said musingly. She turned to Lily. "Well, this makes the eyeshadow problem go away. Clean your eyes off, and I'll start again."

Silence fell for a few moments, as Sapphire dug through a pile of cosmetics, looking rather horrified at a pair of Lily's Muggle eyelash curlers, and Lily began to wipe her eyes clear. Emma studied the green dress lying on the bed thoughtfully for a few minutes, before turning to the mirror.

"Ooh," Sapphire said suddenly, making the other two pause and look towards her. "I have some gossip!"

"The harmless kind or the bitchy kind?" Lily asked doubtfully.

"Oh, it's nice," Sapphire assured her. "And very unexpected. You know Alice Myers?"

Lily and Emma nodded absently. Alice was an unconventional Ravenclaw well-known for her contagious, bubbly smile.

"Guess who she's going to the Ball with?" Sapphire paused a moment, and then, as if unable to contain herself, carried on. "Frank Longbottom!"

Both Emma and Lily simultaneously gaped at their friend.

"No," Emma said, shaking her head. "That - that can't be true. They _hated_ each other - you must have misheard."

Lily looked carefully at her friend. "Are you sure you didn't take one snowball too many to the head?" she asked.

Sapphire grinned. "I had it from Alice herself, yesterday."

This was unbelievable. Alice and Frank's fights were second in intensity only to Lily and James' and only marginally less legendary. The only reason they were ever less vigorous was probably because Frank was a Hufflepuff and Alice a Ravenclaw. Whenever they met outside their respective Houses, they inevitably clashed. Needless to say, neither were high in Madam Pomfrey's favour - she had devoted the best part of her time knowing them dealing with curses they had cast on each other and restraining them from fighting in the hospital wing.

Emma was still looking half-incredulous. "How on _earth_ did it happen?"

Sapphire shrugged. "She wouldn't tell - she was sort of dazed." Smirking, she looked back at the mirror. "It turns out that even if you think you hate someone, there can still be…chemistry between you."

For some reason, an unaccountable blush rose in Lily's cheeks, though she wasn't entirely sure why, and she turned her head, missing the expressive glance that Emma and Sapphire directed at each other as they looked back at the green dress lying innocently on the bed.

"Well, there _has_ been a precedent," Emma was beginning slyly, when Lily hurriedly cut in.

"Saffy, we still haven't seen your dress, have we?"

Sapphire jumped as though she had been prodded with a needle. "There's not much to see."

"Yes there is," Emma declared. "At the rate we're going, your dress has probably changed shape, style _and_ colour."

"No, it's still blue."

"Get it out anyway," Lily insisted. "You haven't shown it to us properly yet."

Sapphire sighed and gingerly removed her dress from another bag. It was the blue affair she had found in the shop, with one off-shoulder strap, and the flaring diagonals of different shades of blue at the bottom.

"Oh, it's pretty!" Lily gasped. She measured it up against Sapphire. "And it suits you so well!"

"Thanks," Sapphire mumbled.

"So why were you so secretive about buying it?" Emma asked. Again, she was looking thoughtful, but her gaze was directed at Sapphire this time.

"Oh, you know…I just needed to think about it."

"Hmm." Emma looked at the two dresses and the two girls and raised her eyebrows, but said nothing as she bent to find some green eyeshadow.

-&-

At ten to eight, Sirius found himself standing outside the Ravenclaw common room, waiting for Madhura. He adjusted his collar and tapped his foot, wondering how long she would be and whether there was anything to amuse him besides the statue of Selene the Shrewd opposite the common room entrance. He tapped it carefully, wondering how crazy it would sound if he started talking to it in the hope of a response, and then jumped as the stone features moved, giving the wizened face an indignant look. Behind him, Madhura emerged from her common room, straightening her dress, just in time to hear Selene splutter as Sirius prodded her some more.

"You be careful with him, now," the statue squawked. "I don't trust the looks of this one!"

Sirius recovered quickly. "Don't worry Selly, I'll look after her!" he called back cheerfully, offering Madhura his arm and ignoring the outraged squawk of _"Selly_?" behind him.

Madhura laughed as they walked away. "Do you do that to _all_ immobile objects?"

"Do what?" Sirius questioned innocently. "She loved me. I have a diploma from the University of Charm."

Laughing again, Madhura looked up at him. "You look…good," she said, almost shyly.

"So do you," Sirius returned, meaning every word of it. Her flowing lavender gown was brushing against his arm, and as she turned her head, the scent of the delicate white roses curving around her bun wafted across. A solitary curl hung down her face, which was glowing with anticipation. As they walked up to the Great Hall, she turned back to him.

"So, have you had a good Christmas so far?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, and he launched into the tale of Lily, James, and the mistletoe fairy.

When he finished, Madhura's mouth was open. "And this was all because of your present?"

"Yep," Sirius said smugly. He looked a little nervously at her. "Uh…why are you staring at me like that?"

Madhura closed her mouth. "Well," she said finally, in an admiring tone, "frankly, I think you deserve a Nobel Prize."

"I know!" Sirius said excitedly. "That's what I said!" He frowned. "Neither of them seemed to agree, though."

"I wonder why." Madhura was still smiling as they came up to ground level, where students were thronging the Entrance Hall, waiting for the Ball to begin.

"Hey Maddie!" Sirius called, as a dark-haired girl crossed his line of vision. She turned and grinned.

"Looking good, Siri-poo!" She looked round at James, who was coming up to them, and her face fell. "Oh James, didn't you tell us it was formal?" She wrinkled her nose and leaned forward conspiratorially, although her voice was still perfectly audible to everyone around. "Because seriously, we _are_ well off enough to afford clothes. You don't need to go rooting around in dustbins for things like this."

James looked down at his spotless outfit, then back at Maddie. "I think you need glasses more than I do."

Madhura was grinning. "I take it you were Sirius' accomplice in the Mistletoe Fairy Plot?" Maddie nodded, smirking, as James groaned.

"Padfoot, who _else_ are you going to tell before the day is over? McGonagall?"

"Actually…" Sirius said thoughtfully. James grabbed him.

"Joking, joking," he said hastily.

"No really, that's a good -" Sirius stopped as he realized that James was gazing in a completely different direction. "What's -" he began, and then saw what James was staring at. "Ahhh."

Lily was emerging from another corridor. She was wearing the beautiful green creation James had given her, and which she seemed to be trying very hard to walk gracefully in. Her hair, magically straightened, fell around her face as she focused downwards, watching where she put her feet.

When she finally looked up, her cheeks were pink but she managed to smile at James. "Just being careful not to tread on the hem," she said, laughing self-consciously. "I seem to be more clumsy than usual."

"You're telling me," Sapphire said, coming up behind her. "She's already fallen five times on the way from the Head rooms, because she was so busy making sure she wouldn't trip on her dress that she tripped over her own feet instead."

"Shut up!" Lily said in embarrassment, swatting her friend. "You're not supposed to expose my inadequacies to the world!"

"It's only _James_," Sapphire protested, dodging another swipe. The glint in her eye was not missed by Lily. "His opinion doesn't matter _that_ much, does -" She was cut off abruptly by Lily, who covered her mouth with her hand and looked back at James.

"I apologise right now for my friend's amazing lack of tact," she said. "Apparently she has an unquenchable urge to be hit round the head more later, given her propensity for embarrassing me."

James smiled. "If that's her mission, leave her to it." He gave a mock-sigh. "Besides, my ego can't decrease much further. I was just advised, by my little sister, no less, not to wear clothes that came from the dustbin."

"No! You look perfectly nice - better than nice, even, you look really - that is, you look very -" Lily was turning seven shades of red, and James began to feel his own face heat up as Sapphire grinned wickedly and a word he would have _liked_ Lily to use popped into his mind.

_Enough_, he told himself sternly, opting for the Marauders' classic way out.

"I look what?" he asked mischievously. "Come on Evans, out with it. Heal my bruised and battered heart by telling me I look like a sex god."

Lily blinked. That was James' voice, but those were more like Sirius' words. Still she could only laugh as she smacked him on the arm. "You're incorrigible," she chided, grinning. "I thought we got rid of the arrogant pig-headed jerk."

James made a face. "No, unfortunately Lucius Malfoy's still well and truly around." He laughed at her expression of mingled amusement and exasperation.

"Lily!" The laughter left a bitter taste in James' mouth as Tom caught Lily's arms and twirled her into his own. "I've been looking for you for ages - and this is where you were hiding all this time?" He looked at James, who returned his gaze mutely. "You look gorgeous, did I tell you that?" Taking her arm, he pulled her off into the crowd, leaving Lily only enough time for one parting, apologetic glance.

"Tuh." Sirius appeared at James' shoulder. His date, Madhura, was talking to someone who James assumed was a friend. "Ten to one the slimy git only _just_ turned up and wanted to make himself look good. The crowd isn't _that_ big."

"Just leave it, Padfoot," James muttered. A wave of tiredness washed over him, and he wished he was back in his own bed, and that this was all over.

Suddenly, something registered in his brain.

"Hold on," he said, turning. "Why'd you call Tom a slimy git?"

But it was too late; Sirius had glided back to his partner, and the next moment, the doors to the Great Hall had opened and people flooded in. James sighed as he moved forward, his good mood momentarily punctured. This would be a long night.

-&-

Lily felt a surge of pride as they walked in. Despite the fact that she still had an eye on her dress, she heard the gasps of awe and admiration issuing from the people around her, and looking up, she could see why. Twelve huge Christmas trees stood majestically at the edges of the hall, all festooned with myriads of decorations in blue and silver, with a real fairy perched at the top of each, glowing. Many circular tables were arranged, and candlelight gave the hall a soft ambience.

The real piece de resistance was the wall opposite the doors, however. As the doors were situated on the longer walls, the wall opposite them seemed to dominate the room - it caught the eye and held it steadfastly. The normal stone had been transfigured into a giant pane of glass, and behind it was a giant aquarium, literally taking up the whole wall. Complete with rocks, sea plants and azure blue water that sparkled alluringly, fish, both solitary and in shoals, swam about inside, of all shapes, sizes and colours. It cast a watery blue light across the room, which added much to the atmosphere.

"It's amazing," Tom said in her ear, his eyes wide. "How'd you do it?"

Lily tapped the side of her nose mysteriously. "Secret," she said. She doubted anyone would realize that it was all an elaborate network of Charms played by Professor Flitwick - when she and James and come up with the idea, they had not wanted to share it in case it didn't work out. Professor McGonagall had been skeptical, to say the least, but Flitwick had been willing, and even eager, to take on the challenge of an afternoon of weaving complex and intricate Charms together. The result, Lily thought, had done them all proud, and she looked around for James, wanted to share the feeling of achievement with him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Tom found a table, and they sat down, joined soon after by Sirius and Madhura, and then Remus and Emma. Sapphire made her way over and sat down carefully. As she did, something odd happened. Sirius looked up sharply as she sat down, cast his eye over her person, and raised his eyebrows. Lily, watching discreetly, saw him shoot a look at her that was half-challenging, half-suggestive, before turning back to his conversation with Madhura.

Sapphire blushed angrily, well aware that Lily was now looking quizzically between the two of them. If Madhura had noticed, she gave no sign of it in her welcoming smile to Sapphire, although she was watching Sirius with a rather discerning eye as she talked. Sapphire blushed even more as she thought of what everyone must be thinking. _Honestly_, she thought furiously. _The fact that I'm wearing the dress you said looked good means nothing. Keep your eyes on your date!_ She settled herself with rather less presence of mind than usual.

There was only one space left open at the table beside Lily - Peter had gone off to sit with his date, a cheerful curly-haired Ravenclaw. She looked around; where was James?

Almost simultaneously, Sirius looked around. "Where's Prongs?" he asked. He twisted to look behind him. "Oi, James! Over here!"

Lily searched the crowd with her eyes until she saw him, seeming to look around. As Sirius called again, he saw them, and started in their direction. Lily decided enough was enough.

"James, get yourself over here before I make you!" she called. Instead of speeding up, however, James seemed to stop for a millisecond, as his eyes passed over her, before walking over.

"What _is_ it with that boy?" Sirius said impatiently. "Prongs." He addressed himself directly to his friend as he sat down. "Were you planning to get here by _next_ Christmas? Because if so, you were going the right way about it."

James shook his head, looking oddly reticent as everyone turned to him. "Just a little…disoriented," he said vaguely. He shrugged, before allowing a more neutral and cheerful expression to spread over his face as he joined in a conversation with Sapphire and Remus.

Lily nudged him as the doors slid slowly closed and Dumbledore stood up.

"We did a good job," she whispered. "The place looks great."

James grinned. "Well, with _me_ helping you, why wouldn't it be great?" he muttered back.

Lily elbowed him in the ribs, making him start. "That's for being an arrogant jerk," she said sweetly, before elbowing him again. "And that's for being an arrogant jerk with good taste and the ability to decorate."

James rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but just then, Tom recaptured her attention with a quick kiss on the neck. It was amazing how his shyness seemed to have flown out of the window, so to speak. "Lily -" he whispered, but was cut off by Professor Dumbledore beginning to speak.

"Welcome, students, to the Winter Ball," he said, opening his arms wide in an expansive gesture. "I am sure you will all have an enjoyable time tonight, and wish you all a very Merry Christmas. As much as I am tempted to, it would be impossible to take credit for these magnificent decorations, the feast which I am sure will be sumptuous, and your entertainment later on. For that, we must thank our Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans," James and Lily smiled politely as people applauded them, "the professors who gave up their time to help and advise, and of course, those students who were - ah, shall we say _forcefully persuaded_ into giving opinions or hard labour. You all contributed to the success of this event, which I am sure will be memorable for many." He paused to allow the applause to die away. "And now, on a different note, I would like to inform you all that spiking drinks is highly inadvisable, considering the fact that I am sure you will be hunted down by irate Heads of House later on. A certain group of boys in Gryffindor seventh year would do well to remember that," he added, his eyes twinkling at James, Sirius and Remus, whose faces were arranged into such pictures of virtuous innocence that Lily, along with everyone else, had to laugh. "That said, enjoy your evening!" He sat down, and almost immediately, food appeared on the plates in front of them.

Dinner was an enjoyable affair. Lily, squashed between James and Tom, dug into her food with as much eagerness as everyone else, and a babble of chatter arose. In between arguing with James about whether angelfish were white or yellow, and carrying on an ongoing conversation with Emma over what people were wearing, it was rather surprising how quickly the plates cleared, and Lily soon found that the candles were dimming until the entire hall was bathed in the watery blue glow from the aquarium wall. Three wizards walked out onto a raised platform in one corner, their clothes artfully arranged to show off just enough skin to drive girls wild.

"Let's give a warm welcome to…Spirit 101!" Daniel Jordan announced, and the band smirked as girls erupted into squeals, clapping their hands (more than one boy looked as though he had just bitten into a lemon).

Sirius was the first up as the beginning chords sounded. "Would you give me the honour, mademoiselle?" he asked, offering his hand. Madhura accepted gracefully, and they were soon lost among the twirling couples. Peter and Remus soon followed suit with their dates, and Tom, seeing his opportunity, broke up Lily and James' argument (still over angelfish) to drag her up onto the dancefloor.

Although initially frustrated that she hadn't been able to finish her conversation, Lily soon lost any feeling of mild annoyance as Tom twirled her onto the dancefloor. They began to sway in time to the music, and she smiled up at him - he looked so cleancut and tidy, with his neat hair and warm smile. No quirked eyebrows or mischievous smirks here, she told herself dreamily, and all the better for her that there weren't.

"You look so nice tonight," she murmured into his ear.

Tom smiled even more brilliantly. "I could return the compliment a thousand times over," he replied. "Your dress is lovely too, even if it does bear no comparison to your own beauty."

"Tom!" Lily scolded, half-flattered by his praise and half-exasperated by its textbook-ish tones.

"Where did you get it from? I'm no fashion connoisseur, but even I can tell it must have cost an awful lot."

Lily bit her lip, knowing she was treading thin ice. "It was…a Christmas present. From a good friend."

Tom raised his eyebrows. "Very good friend indeed." He bowed to her as the song ended, and they drew apart a little as a faster song struck up.

-&-

Meanwhile, James and Sapphire were both sitting at their table, feeling excessively bored. Try as he might, James could not tear his eyes away from Lily for more than a few minutes - she looked entrancing, especially as the dress swished around her.

"James, if you look in that direction much longer, your eyes will pop out," Sapphire said jokingly.

James turned around, his neck slightly red. "Ha ha." He stuck his tongue out at her, and Sapphire responded in kind before seeing his eyes drift longingly back to Lily.

"You really do like her, don't you?" she asked softly. "James, you've been friends for a while now…why have you never told her?"

James turned back. "I -" he began and then stopped. The song was drawing to a close, and as a new one began, he injected more enthusiasm into his tone. "You know what? This is our last ball, neither of us have dates, and we both look like complete losers sitting here." He held out his hand. "Want to dance?"

-&-

Lily smiled as she saw James lead Sapphire to the dancefloor, and Tom noticed the sparkle in her eyes. "What?" he asked teasingly.

"Sapphire and James are dancing," she answered, swinging him round as they moved so that he had a clearer view. "Oh, I'm so proud of him."

Tom laughed. "What's he done, overcome a life-long phobia of dancing?"

"Nothing, just - haven't you noticed what an odd mood he's been in tonight?" She felt a grin tug at her lips as she saw James invent evermore exuberant dance moves to make Sapphire laugh. Emma and Remus were watching in amusement from the other side, as was Madhura. Only Sirius seemed to be wearing a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes as he watched his best friend fool around.

When she turned back to Tom, however, Lily was surprised to find him looking suddenly serious. His eyes were brooding, even as he smiled at her again, and as the song ended, he asked if they could come off the dance floor for a while so he could get his breath back. Lily reluctantly assented and they made their way to a table in the back corner, where Tom quickly got involved in a conversation about Quidditch with a couple of Hufflepuffs. Eventually growing tired of the continual talk of player statistics, Lily excused herself to find a drink and wandered back across the hall.

-&-

Sirius twirled Madhura absent-mindedly, flashing her a smile whenever she looked at him. His eyes were more busily occupied scanning the dancefloor and the people on it, but when that yielded no results, he turned his gaze onto the dinner tables. He caught sight of Lily and Emma, standing with Remus near the drinks table, but it wasn't until he looked back at the table where they had originally been sitting that he finally spotted a tell-tale flash of blue. There she was, watching the dancers dispiritedly and looking unaffectedly bored.

Without thinking, as they reached a corner, Sirius guided himself and Madhura back to the centre where he had a clearer view, and he could not stop himself looking continually around as a Hufflepuff seventh-year approached her.

A few moments later, the Hufflepuff walked away, having apparently been refused, and Sirius fought to control his attention and focus it on he was doing. It had no effect. He was still moving mechanically, still following an automatic pattern of moves. The charms of a red dress had all but disappeared, and been replayed by the far-more-beautiful promise of blue.

"Sirius!…Sirius!…"

With another supreme effort, Sirius dragged himself back to the present to find Madhura giving him a searching gaze. Her eyes followed his as he glanced involuntarily back at the table, and the look she gave him as he turned back told him quite clearly that he had been discovered.

"You are a complete prat, Sirius, you know that?" she said softly, and Sirius felt an uncharacteristic stab of guilt. _I must be getting soft_, he thought uncomfortably.

Madhura shook her head and rotated them round so that they remained in time with the music. "I'm not the one for you, I realize that," she said simply. "And I'd have to be deaf _and_ blind not to work out who you _are_ set on, much less not to hear the rumours and gossip going round - though I didn't believe any of that until I saw it for my own eyes." Sirius shifted awkwardly again, but Madhura continued on, her dark eyes fixed on his face as they moved on auto-pilot. "I don't know whether anyone's told you this, Sirius, but the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Now, Sapphire may not show much liking towards you, but she _certainly_ isn't indifferent to you." She led him off the dancefloor, almost before he knew what she was doing, and gave him a little push. "So go talk to her."

Sirius looked at Sapphire, then back at Madhura. "She's not going to respond," he muttered.

"You have nothing to lose except your self-esteem, and God knows you have enough of that." Madhura gave him another push. "Go on. And don't get all chivalrous about me, I'll be fine, I have friends around."

"How can I -" Sirius started, but Madhura cut him off, laughing.

"You can't, so don't bother with polite speeches."

But Sirius had had a better idea; taking her wrist, he pulled her over to a tall Ravenclaw who was sitting on his own at another table.

"Listen, Arjun, I don't really feel like dancing tonight, but I don't want Madhura to miss out. Would you do me a favour and take my place? Thanks."

The blush that suffused Madhura's face as Arjun led her back towards the dancefloor, and the gratified-yet-amused look she shot over her shoulder at Sirius was enough to make him feel that he had done the right thing at least once tonight, and he began to edge his way round people and furniture to the other side of the hall.

It was tricky going - the part of the hall that had been used for dining was now lit only by the blue glow of the aquarium wall, which cast a soft watery ambience over the area. A few girls smiled coquettishly (and hopefully) at him, but he flashed them only a split-second grin as he threaded through, his eyes fixed on Sapphire. She hadn't moved more than a few inches from her position, and her eyes were flickering lazily over the people around her. He shoved past a pair of fourth-years who were hovering awkwardly in the corridor, one of them with their eyes glued longingly to a blond-haired girl sitting by herself nearby. Sirius rolled his eyes at the inefficiency of teenagers (conveniently forgetting that he himself belonged to the aforementioned group). He was almost past them, when he caught his leg on the corner of the table and staggered, jarring his other left painfully and causing him to emit a loud yelp. He righted himself, grinned apologetically at everyone nearby who was staring, and turned round, rubbing his leg.

Almost immediately, his eyes met Sapphire's.

_Bugger. She saw me._

Her eyes were wide as she surveyed him. She swiveled back to the dancefloor, presumably looking for Madhura, and when she saw her dancing with Arjun, turned back to Sirius. There was a glaring question in her eyes as she lowered them and turned back to the direction she had been facing. That she was very aware of his presence, however, was evident in the way that she kept darting sidelong glances at him, which increased in frequency as he drew nearer. He was only two tables away when she suddenly got up and hurried away in the opposite direction.

Sirius cursed as he watched her go. He had been close…and he had scared her off. Sitting down heavily in the seat next to the one she had just vacated, he watched as she made her way over to where Lily and Emma were standing with as much haste as her dress would allow.

-&-

Sapphire meanwhile, was both congratulating herself on her quick escape, and trying to calm herself as she approached the others. _Breathe in, breathe out_…

"Hey guys," she said, reaching her friends.

"Hey yourself," Lily answered cheerfully. "What brings you over? You seemed pretty comfortable over there."

_Yeah, I was, until about thirty seconds ago._ Clearly Lily hadn't seen the person now sitting there.

"Uhm, yeah, I just wanted to stretch my legs."

Everyone nodded, and Sapphire relaxed as they fell back into normal conversation. She dusted herself off, and, looking down, cursed the fact that she had had to buy this dress, the one that Sirius had complimented. He would probably be reading all sorts of implications into this fact that it was this particular one…she just wished she could manage to be near him long enough to heartily contradict every one.

Really, if you thought about it, everything that was wrong was due to Sirius. If he hadn't said anything, she would have felt no compunction about having to buy this dress, and wouldn't have had to sneak back to the shop while everyone else was at the Three Broomsticks so that she could buy it on her own with no comment because she hadn't found anything else as good. This was, she decided, all Sirius' fault. Damn him. Not to mention that it was his fault for saying such ridiculous things…She wished life could just go back to normal, with both of them hating each other - it made things so much easier.

Shaking her head slightly, Sapphire attempted to look interested in the heated discussion going on between Remus and Lily over the efficacy of bezoars in some potion or other. Before long, however, she felt a hot, prickling sensation on the back of her neck, and, twisting her head slowly, she looked round to see Sirius watching her from the table where she had sat. Feeling as though she was caught in a spotlight, she turned hastily round and knocked into Lily.

"Well of course lacewings wouldn't have that much effect if you only use - what on earth?" Lily turned to Sapphire. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sapphire said, mentally cursing her own clumsiness. She resolved to keep her gaze firmly fixed on the wall in front but less than a minute later, she had turned around again, in spite of herself. Sirius was still watching, and as her eyes fell on him, he raised his eyebrows meaningfully. Sapphire swivelled back hurriedly, only to find Lily looking at her penetratingly.

"What?" she asked weakly and unconvincingly. To her horror, Lily turned and looked in the same direction, and from the twist of her mouth, Sapphire guessed she had seen the person sitting there.

"So that's what this was about, was it?" she asked, looking back to Sapphire, who mumbled something incomprehensible.

Lily looked back at Sirius, a challenging expression in her eyes. "Well, if that's how it's going to be…" She placed her hands on Sapphire's shoulders, startling her, and swung her around completely to face Sirius. Sapphire let out an inarticulate sound of shock and embarrassment, and, to her surprise, Lily saw a blush creep up her cheeks. Sirius had sat up slightly, his eyes travelling over her.

"It wouldn't kill you to talk to him," Emma said. She met Lily's eyes behind Sapphire's back, and Lily saw the glint of laughter in her face.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Sapphire muttered. To Lily and Emma's surprise, she began to blush even more violently as Sirius continued to gaze, and she stumbled away. "I need air," she mumbled, and she walked off, placing a hand against her burning forehead.

"She's acting surprisingly lovesick," Lily commented, watching her go.

"Funny, when she doesn't even like him much," Emma said thoughtfully. "She doesn't usually act this oddly around him." She paused. "And I'd give quite a lot to find out why he's been giving her meaningful glances all night and she's been avoiding his eye."

As a new song struck up, Emma perked up. "I love this song!" she announced.

"Well then," Remus grinned and exaggeratedly twirled her out of her chair, Emma laughing as he gave her a mock-bow. "I live to serve, my lady." He tugged her hand, almost making her tumble over. "Especially if it means I have to spin you around and whisper things in your ear that would make our dear Head Girl blush to hear."

"Shut up, you," Emma scolded, even as she laughed. "If you trip on my dress and rip it, I'll be waking up in Azkaban for the murder of one Remus Lupin." She was about to follow him to the dancefloor when she stopped and turned. "Oh Lily, I can't leave - will you be okay on your own?"

Lily flapped her away with her hands. "Go," she said, smiling. "I'm fine."

Emma cast her one last look before Remus pulled her into the throng of people, and Lily sat on one of the tables behind her, pulling her feet up onto a chair and shifting the tablecloth beneath her. Turning around ,she could still see Tom in the other corner, now deep in discussion with Serena, Callie, and a few boys who she assumed were their dates. Although it would probably look better than sitting alone, Lily couldn't be bothered to pick herself up and go to join them. She couldn't spot James, but Sirius was sitting slouched at a table not far from Tom and his friends, on the opposite side in the back corner alone - that was not like him. Usually he would be in the thick of things, chatting up five or six girls at once, Lily reflected, and she wondered absently where Sapphire was. And what on earth was James doing?

-&-

James was in fact, in the Hall. He had retreated to a table alone in the shadows at the back, almost directly in line with Lily's, which would explain why she couldn't see him. Several had asked him to dance, but he had turned them all down, suddenly finding himself not in the mood to be among people. He was so caught up in his train of thought that he didn't realize he was being called.

"James!"

"Huh?" James snapped out of his reverie, and turned his head. He relaxed, smiling, as he saw who it was. "Alright Maddie? How many guys am I going to have to beat up tonight for daring to so much as look at my baby sister?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Maddie said scathingly, adjusting her dress as she sat down beside him. "Besides, my sociableness is simply making up for your lack of it." She scrutinized him closely, even as he turned his head back to what he had been looking at before. "You're not usually one to sit in a corner when there are girls to flirt with and drinks to spike. What gives?" She had no response. "James!"

"Wha-what?" James swivelled back to see Maddie looking inquisitively at him. "Oh yeah…uh, what was the question again?"

Maddie, however, was following the direction his eyes were being drawn to.

"You really like her, don't you?" she said softly, turning back to look at James.

"Who?"

"Don't try that one on me. You know who I mean. Lily. You really do like her a lot."

James swallowed; his throat had suddenly got dry. "What? Well, yeah, of course. Be a bit hard to work with her otherwise."

Maddie sighed and shook her head. "Honestly James, I've known you all of my fifteen years, I spent eleven of them being your only friend at home, and yet you still think you can lie to me and I won't realise. I know the truth. I can see it in your face."

"Then why're you asking?" James snapped. It came out harsher than he'd intended, and he grimaced, meaning to apologise, but Maddie waved him off.

"Just go and ask her to dance," she said bluntly. "She's sitting on her own, most likely bored out of her mind - you'd be doing her a favour, and it might get you out of this mope you're in. And as for the rest…give her time. She'll see, eventually."

Her advice was almost more than James could bear from someone who was three years younger and yet three times more capable of handling his personal life than he was, but he sighed and stood up. "You know, if there was an Olympic event for assuming things, you would take bronze, silver and gold, hands down. But I'll go, if only to shut you up."

Maddie grinned and stood up as well. "Well, now that I've sorted you out, I'm off to deal with your best friend." She gestured at the table on the other side where Sirius was sitting. "He's in a mood too, or else my name's not Madeleine Potter." She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, if one of you goes down, the other does too. Do you have to do everything together?"

James laughed affectionately as she walked off. He was curious, and more than a little worried, about what was plaguing Sirius, but knew that he was in such a bleak mood himself that he'd probably only depress his friend further and induce suicidal thoughts, for all he knew. Much better to let Maddie go over and work her bouncy magic. Besides, if he was honest, his own problems were a lot more absorbing at the moment.

-&-

Lily, left sitting on the table on her own, sighed. If she was honest with herself, this was not the way she had envisioned spending her evening. Emma and Remus were dancing, James was nowhere to be seen, Sapphire was…somewhere outside, And Tom, who had spent the past half hour talking to other Quidditch-minded people, had just mimed going to the toilet and left. Sirius too had disappeared, and she felt like a complete twit, sitting alone.

Just then, a shadow fell across her, and she looked up to see James himself. Trying to suppress an immediate smile of relief, she moved over, and James leaned onto the table beside her, hands in his pockets. They sat in silence for a few moments, before James spoke.

"You know, Lily, I think it's official. This ball is a roaring success."

Lily smiled. "I think everyone else would agree, yes."

There was a pause, and then James looked around. "Everyone else? What about you?"

His perception caught Lily off-guard. "NO, I just meant…well, obviously I think we've done ourselves proud with this." She nudged him with her shoulder. "It was a pleasure working with you, James."

James raised an eyebrow. "You've still got six months of it to go. Come back and say the same thing in June, and I'll be shocked."

Lily laughed absently, and watched Maddie pull a boy to the dancefloor, giggling, where she abruptly said something to him and pushed him towards another girl.

"Your sister's playing matchmaker a lot today. She's in her element."

For some reason, James rolled his eyes and paused. "Yeah, she's good at that." He shook himself and stood up.

"Where're you going?" Lily asked quickly, unable to keep a tinge of disappointment out of her voice. It had been so nice having some company.

James hesitated. "To dance. With you." He held out a hand. "If you'll say yes?"

Lily was only too happy.

-&-

Meanwhile, Sapphire, hovering in the shadows at the door, was gazing cautiously around the Hall to assess her chances of running into a certain individual. He was nowhere immediately visible, so she judged it safe to slowly walk into the Hall. She hurried across as fast as she could, trying to avoid notice, and inwardly cursing Sirius for causing her to act like a fugitive.

Taking a Butterbeer, she exhaled loudly as she leaned back against the table, her eyes still darting nervously around. There was no clear sign of his tall form, but still…there were plenty of shadowy corners where he could be hiding out. She sipped again. James and Lily were talking together quietly, a little way away, and she wondered absently where Tom was as she watched them, smiling to herself. She doubted that anybody but Lily could be blind to the challenging glances passing between him and James, and considering the glow on Lily's face just now, it seemed like there was good reason for Tom to be wary of his competition.

Looking back at the tables, she spotted an empty one, where she would be less exposed than up here, and so slowly headed towards it, where she sank down, feeling sure that she would either go to Azkaban for the murder of Sirius Black, or be hospitalised for a stress hernia.

-&-

Fifteen minutes later, Sapphire let herself relax as she leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. There was still no sign of Sirius, thank heavens. Remus and Emma were just visible in one corner, dancing together. They hadn't left each other's side for more than a few minutes all night, Sapphire thought, smiling absently. Her eyes fell on another pair, and she stiffened, her mouth breaking into a wide grin.

"Oh, how wonderful!" she murmured, watching Lily laugh as James said something in her ear. "This is perfect."

"About time, isn't it?" said a voice behind her, and Sapphire's elbow slipped off the table as she whipped round to see Sirius sitting behind her, his eyes also on Lily and James.

"Black," she ground out, and made to get up from her chair. Sirius, however, was too quick for her. His hand shot out and grasped her wrist firmly, pulling her back down into her seat.

"Oh no," he growled. "You've been pulling this on me all night without even knowing what I want."

"And what do you want?" Sapphire said mutinously. "A quick snog and fumble in the gardens? Because if so, you're barking up the wrong -"

"I want to talk," Sirius said. He eyed her, and the fight seemed to drain out of him. "Just…one conversation. One proper conversation, that's all I'm asking for."

If only to pry her arm out of his hand and regain her circulation, Sapphire nodded reluctantly. He loosened his grip and took a deep breath.

"Right. So. Well…first…I just need to apologise. No, wait -" he held up a hand as Sapphire opened her mouth, " - I've been treating you horribly for a while now, and even though it won't change much, I want to say sorry for that. I don't - I'm not…most girls don't take much to win over for me, and the only exceptions to that rule are Lily, because she saw through us all from day one, and Emma, because she only ever had eyes for Remus. And then you turned up, and were a bit of…well, you were a bit of a shock to the system. And I'm sorry for the way I reacted."

Sapphire was staring at him so hard that he had to fight the urge to look away, but eventually she spoke.

"Well. I don't quite know if I'm ready to…to forgive you yet…but I'll try not to hold it against you."

Sirius let out a breath. "It's a start." He paused. "Second thing…look I know this is going to sound absolutely unbelievable, but…I do really…I mean, I think you're…" He stopped, floundering in his effort to form a coherent sentence.

"Spit it out," Sapphire said impatiently.

"I - Look, this is hard!" Sirius retorted. "I'm not someone who does this on a regular basis! What I'm trying to say is…whatever I may have done or said to the contrary…I do really like you. And even though I'm guessing you'd throw something at me if I asked you out…I was hoping maybe we could call a truce…just be…friends?"

Sapphire regarded him for a long moment. "And why would I do that?" she asked slowly.

"Because!" Sirius said, unnerved by her gaze. "Even if I'm a prat, I'm a good-hearted prat - ask James! - and though it was my mistake, I think it would be a very good idea to start making up for lost time."

Sapphire continued to look at him for a long moment, and then, finally, held her hand out. "Truce."

Sirius took it, marvelling at how smooth and cold it was, and they shook solemnly. A minute later, they had both broken into awkward laughs, more borne out of nervousness than anything else. Sapphire shifted uncomfortably in her chair, not quite able to grasp the idea of a friendly Sirius, and Sirius was toying with his cufflinks for much the same reason.

"So," Sirius said, in a conversational tone. "I might as well throw us in at the deep end straight off." Sapphire looked at him curiously. "Why are you sitting here alone instead of dancing up there with a date?"

Sapphire raised her eyebrows. "Er, because as you full well know, I don't have a date?"

"Well, it's not for lack of asking, is it? How many times did Leon Wilkes ask you before he got the hint? Twelve?"

"Fourteen." Sapphire sighed heavily. Sirius smirked, then sobered up.

"Okay, so I wouldn't blame you for saying no to him, but what happened to everyone else? I happen to know from my extensive spy network that several guys asked you who even I wouldn't have been ashamed to be seen with. If I swung that way, that is," he added hastily, as Sapphire turned her laugh into a hacking cough. "So what was wrong with all of them?"

Sapphire shrugged. "Don't know. Just wasn't interested."

Sirius studied her intently. "You know what? I'm going to ask a question which practically earned me a slap the last time I voiced it. So bear in mind that if you do it again, it'll be your fault for having ruined what could've been the beginning of a beautiful new friendship." He was smiling, but there was something in his eyes which told Sapphire he was quite serious.

"Go on then ,hit me with it."

"How long has it been since you had a boyfriend?"

The words were softly spoken, but they struck a chord, and Sapphire felt herself flush. The implied intimacy of the question irked her, but a niggling voice at the back of her head was quietly murmuring that even if she told the truth, the boy sitting opposite her would not use the information against her. She turned to look at the aquarium wall.

"Heathleigh?" He was leaning forward slightly now, waiting for her answers, and his eyes emerged from their shadows as he altered his position.

Silently, Sapphire sighed. She might as well say it. "I don't - I've never had one," she said grudgingly, flashing her eyes up at him, daring him to taunt her. Instead, he merely leaned back.

"I know."

Sapphire stared at him. "So what was the point in asking? It's strange enough that we're being friendly, Black, without you probing into my personal life and then telling me you have it all on record anyway!"

Sirius held up a hand to placate her. "What I've always been curious about," he said calmly, in a low voice, "is _why_ you've not got involved with anyone for all this time?"

Sapphire's eyes, when she finally processed his words, were both angry and incredulous. "How can you -?" she sputtered indignantly, making to rise before Sirius pulled her firmly back down.

"It's just a question."

"Well it's more than a little…impertinent, don't you think?"

Sirius shrugged. "You know that's practically my middle name."

Sapphire rolled her eyes, in spite of herself. "I should have known not to expect anything more from you," she muttered, absently watching Serena swan out of the Hall, smirking as she pulled a brown-haired boy behind her.

"That's not fair!" Sirius protested. "You're assuming things! I -" He stopped suddenly, his eyes on the crowd in front of them, and a frown creased his handsome face. Sapphire, startled by his sudden silence, turned round to see him gazing into the middle distance, looking both thoughtful, and…disturbed?

"What's wrong?" she asked, unsettled.

Sirius looked at her briefly, as if surprised to see her there, but then stood up, looking unconvinced, but determined. "I'm sorry, excuse me for a moment." He abruptly walked off. Sapphire watched his retreating figure.

"Oh what _have_ I agreed to?" she muttered, before getting up irritation and heading off for a drink.

-&-

Remus spun Emma around as the song came to an end, and they laughed, mock-bowing to each other.

"This is turning out to be one of the best nights I've ever known," Emma murmured, as a slower song started up and she moved closer.

She felt Remus smile into her hair. "True. If I'd know this could happen, I'd have dropped a pumpkin on your head years ago."

Emma laughed and swatted him as they swayed. "Don't push your luck. The only reason I even let that go was because…"

"Because I'm such a charming and amazing person, not to mention being heart-stoppingly good-looking?"

"No. Actually, I don't know why I ever let that go. Remind me to be angry at you later."

"Yes ma'am." They carried on dancing for a few songs, enjoying each other's company, when Remus noticed something very odd. Sirius was standing on the edge of the dancefloor, bouncing up and down, apparently trying to catch his attention. As Remus looked at him fully, he brushed his nose three times and blinked very slowly and obviously. _Urgent. I'll explain later_.

Remus raised his eyebrows at him, just as Emma caught sight of his friend. "What does he want?" she asked.

Remus swung them around so that her back was to Sirius. "Nothing," he replied smoothly. "Well," he paused, "other than maybe a lifetime's supply of chocolate and Sapphire…" Emma burst into giggles and swatted him.

"He's still trying to catch your attention, you know," she said, as they turned again. Remus looked up, frowning, and sure enough, Sirius was still there, staring fixedly at him. The song ended and Remus sighed. "I'd better go see what he wants," he said tiredly. "I'm sorry Em, excuse me."

Emma watched him make his way over, and rolled her eyes in amusement as he was practically dragged out of the hall, Sirius talking furiously all the while.

-&-

Meanwhile, although the song had ended, by mutual silent consent, Lily and James remained on the dancefloor. The pleasant haze of music and conversation was only broken when James looked over Lily's shoulder to see Sirius and Remus both standing on the edge of the dancefloor, signalling at him, both looking most impatient. For a moment, he opened his mouth, about to make his excuses to Lily, and then shut it again.

_Damn it,_ he thought, _I'm not going to get to finish this dance any other time._ Blankly shaking his head at his friends, he carried on with Lily.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, as he found his gaze once more attracted to where Sirius and Remus were standing and gesturing. She turned her head and they froze, mid-gesticulation, before shooting equally unconvincing and toothy grins at her.

Lily looked back at James. "You sure you don't want to go see what they want?" she asked, her tone quietly amused.

"Nah," James answered easily. "I know they feel worthless without me, but it's more fun here." He winked at her, making her laugh, and frowned at Remus and Sirius, both of whom looked disgusted with him as they realised he had no intention of moving.

As the tune ended, James felt a pang of conscience as they left the mass of couples. "I'm really sorry, Lily," he said. "I should go find out what they wanted."

Lily shook her head and laughed. "I was quite impressed you didn't leave me mid-step, to be honest." She waved her hand. "Go."

Feeling slightly bolstered by the fact that he seemed to have made the right choice with regards to her at least, James walked off, and Lily watched him weave his way between the tables, only to be accosted halfway by Callie, who started talking brightly at him. James was answering politely enough but what Callie was clearly after, judging by her repetitive hair flicks, was a dance, Lily thought, or she was no judge of girls. Feeling a strange sort of mean pleasure in the fact that Calling was wanting so badly something that James had given her for free, Lily surveyed the rest of the Hall, and felt a sudden twinge of annoyance. Where was Tom? He'd completely disappeared - in fact, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen him. The group he'd been talking to had dispersed, and she could see neither hide nor hair of him. Clicking her tongue in irritation, she decided it was best to go and find him rather than continue sitting, and accordingly slid off the table and began making her way around the crumpled napkins and knocked-over goblets that littered the floor. Across in a corner, she spotted Emma and Sapphire - Emma looking rather alone without Remus - and waved at them as she continued round.

It was when she reached the doors, thinking vaguely of asking someone to check the boys' toilet as she looked longingly back at the dancefloor, that she ran into Sirius and Remus, almost literally. Both looked rather flustered and uncomfortable, and she noted with some surprise that there was snow in their hair.

"Boys, where have you-?" she started. "No, never mind, I don't even want to know. But uh, James is looking for y-"

"Lily, we need you to come with us," Remus said, stepping forward and taking her arm. Lily blinked in confusion at the solemnity of his tone.

"What's going on?" she questioned, looking from him to Sirius, who also looked uncommonly serious.

The boys exchanged an awkward look, and then Sirius spoken, in a tone that could almost have been called gentle. "We - you're not going to like this, Lily, but - you need to - we can't hide this, come on." He seized her arm as well, and Lily found herself being pulled unceremoniously out of the Hall.

"Where are we going?" she demanded. "And where's James?"

"Who cares?" said Remus impatiently. "Lily, come on."

"But what's going on? Why won't you tell - are we going outside?" she cried, as they neared the huge doors. "My - I've got bare arms - my shoes - I'll freeze!"

"I think that'll be the least of your worries," Sirius muttered wryly. He and Remus escorted Lily out into the moonlit gardens, ignoring her protests, and through clumps of twinkling, snow-laden rosebushes, their dark-green leaves shaded to black.

Once finally through, they stopped. "Over there, Lily," Remus said, pointing, his voice tinged with regret. He pushed her, and she took a few steps forward, her arms wrapped tightly around her body in an effort to stay warm. A pair of figures materialised gradually in the half-dark, embracing closely.

It took only a heartbeat for Lily to realise who they were.

Tom.

Serena.

She let out a gasp of pure shock and stared, unable to turn her gaze away, as Tom raised his head at the sound and stared straight back at her. He swore as he realised who it was, and started towards her, but Lily had already turned her back on him and was marching back the castle as fast as her numbed mind and shaking legs would permit her.

She was just past the doors of the Great Hall, through which the sounds of music and whooping still echoed, when a hand closed on her arm, and she whirled around to see Tom standing there.

"Lily, please -" he began.

The numbness left her, to be replaced with a wave of fury and disgust that she had not thought it possible to feel so strongly. "Don't you dare _touch_ me," she hissed, yanking her arm away violently.

Tom stepped back, his brown eyes almost hurt. "Lily," he started again, "this isn't what it looks like -"

"Really?" Lily shot back, her voice sharp enough to cut diamond. "Because I think it's exactly what it looks like."

"No - Lil - it's not - she made me -"

"DON'T CALL ME LIL!"

They stopped and stared at each other, Lily actually shaking from sheer contempt and anger, as well as the icy breeze that billowed through the still-open castle doors. How could she not have seen - what had she missed -?

"Please, let's just sort this out and talk it through…" The raised voices were beginning to attract attention, and a small crowd was gathering, all of whom watched, wide-eyed, as Lily let out a noise which was almost a snarl of exasperation.

"I don't know how stupid you want to look, but let me make it crystal-clear: sorting things out doesn't work so well after you've fastened lips with another girl - and that looked like you were enjoying it quite a lot. Right now, you're feeding me lines so you can carry on the act and jerk off - which I guess is fitting, given that right now, you're the biggest jerk I've ever met."

Tom was shaking his head. "Lil - y, it wasn't meant to be like this - please -"

"Oh?" Lily questioned, her tone unmistakably sarcastic. "So who was I supposed to walk in on you snogging? Callie? And was it meant to be in the common room so I wouldn't get too cold while I watched?"

Tom's face suddenly hardened. "Don't try and act as if you're as pure as the driven snow, Lily Evans. Everyone knows how much time you spend with James Potter - don't tell me that all the stories are false. I've been ignoring them…or trying to…"

Lily stared in amazement. "What stories -?" she began, before her eyes fell on James himself. He had pushed his way to the front of the crowd, cheeks flushed, tie askew, hair messier than usual, but his face registered complete shock as Tom's words resounded. A bolt shot through her as she remembered his words from so long ago.

_"…Maybe I should warn you, Lily. Tom isn't perfect…It's just – he tends to, uh, be one of those people that listen to rumours, and take them seriously…"_

With a sickened feeling, she looked across to see Serena smirking at her. Realisation set in, and she gritted her teeth for a moment.

"We are the Head students," she said, in a low and controlled voice. "It's our job to work together. He's been nothing but a good friend to me. And -" she broke off and glanced at James again. "I don't need to explain myself to you, Tom." She glared at him. "I was more of a fool to believe you than you were to believe stories about me." Mustering as much dignity as she could, she turned on her heel and walked off.

Tom swivelled to face the rest of the crowd. "What're you looking at?" he barked. In obedience to his baleful stare, the students began to retreat, all muttering about the shouting match _Lily Evans_, the _Head Girl_, had just had.

James turned with the rest of them and returned to the Ball, scanning the room for Emma and Sapphire who, he was sure, would want to be informed of these new developments.

-&-

Stopping just inside the doors, he surveyed the space, filled with twirling couples, and the clusters of students talking in huddles. Finally he saw a flash of red in a corner by the aquarium wall, and on advancing, spotted Emma, Remus and Sapphire.

"Hey Ja -" Emma started before James cut in.

"Lily broke up with Tom."

"What?" "What?" Both girls spoke in unison.

"Just now, in the entrance hall - I think he might have been cheating on her…"

"Where is she now?" Sapphire demanded.

James shrugged. "She walked off. Not in here, though. You'd better go comfort her, do the girl-thing."

"Right." Emma turned to Remus. "Sorry, do you mind if I -"

Remus shook his head, gesturing her off, and the two girls, with James in their stead, turned to the Entrance Hall. Just as they approached the stairs, Sirius came down them. He turned a keen gaze on them. "Is Lily not with you?" he asked.

"No…" Emma said slowly.

"Ah." Sirius glanced at James quickly and meaningfully. Unfortunately, Emma caught it. Her voice took on a note of real panic. "Boys, where is she?"

-&-&-&-&-&-&-&-

**A/N**: Finally! Hope the length made up for the insane delay in getting it up since this first started - and thank you for all the positive reviews I've had, both from new reviewers and ones who remember me from way back :) Also apologies for the broken-up style, it's quite difficult to keep multiple storylines running together when important things are happening in different places. Next chapter up soonish, hopefully!


	36. Repercussions

**The Truth Of The Heart**

**Summary: **Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily's opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this….except a few minor characters, so please don't sue me, JKR, 'cause I have nothing you want….unless you're into human flesh (you're not, are you?)

-&-

_The two girls, with James in their stead, hurried to the Entrance Hall. Just as they approached the stairs, Sirius came down them. He turned a keen gaze on them. "Is Lily not with you?" he asked._

"_No…" Emma said slowly._

"_Ah." Sirius glanced at James quickly. Unfortunately, Emma caught it. Her voice took on a note of real panic._

"_Boys, where is she??"_

-&-

**Chapter 36: Repercussions**

"Well, she's not in the common room, I just checked," Sirius said. "But," he added hastily, "that still leaves a lot of places she could be."

Sapphire was looking at Sirius a little strangely. "You actually went up to the common room?"

"Yes," Sirius retorted defensively. "You may not think so, Sapphire, but I do care about Lily as a friend. I'm not _completely_ heartless."

"Could have fooled me," Sapphire muttered under her breath. But she looked remorseful a moment later, as Sirius turned an unreadable gaze on her.

"Hold on," James held up a hand. "You were there?"

"I was in the doorway." Sirius laughed a little bitterly. "And I was the one who saw Tom and Serena in the first place. The only reason I got Remus to tell her to go was because I didn't think she'd take me seriously."

"Why are you being so calm about this?" Emma demanded.

Sirius shrugged. "I've had my suspicions about them for a while now."

"So why didn't you _say_ anything?" Emma wailed.

"_I_ did," James said dully. "She wouldn't believe me – thought I was jealous and told me to mind my own business."

"_You_ knew _too_?" Emma cried, turning to him.

"Look," Sirius interjected sharply. "While you sit here playing Twenty Questions with James and me, we still don't know where Lily is."

"Good point," Emma's face changed from indignant to worried.

"What's everyone so panicked about it for?" Sapphire questioned. "I mean, the worst she can be doing is crying, right?"

"Maybe I should clarify," Emma said quickly. "Last time Lily got into a really bad state, she made a voodoo doll, stuck it full of pins, burned the clothes in the fire, and nearly fell out of a fourth-floor window trying to throw it into the lake."

Sapphire paled. "Okay. I'll go check the girls' dormitories – you wouldn't have got up there... or would you?" She walked quickly up the stairs, brushing past Sirius, who only then realised she had _actually_ joked with him. His mouth quirked as he came down to ground level.

Emma turned. "I'll have a look around too." She and Remus disappeared. James turned to Sirius, remembering his glance.

"What's really going on?"

Sirius looked uncomfortable. "She's not on the Marauder's Map," he said finally.

James swore.

"Are you sure?"

Sirius pulled a tattered piece of parchment out of his pocket, and James scrutinised it rapidly. "Where on earth is she?" he said, his nose barely a few inches from its surface as he checked it again. "She can't know about the secret passages to get to Hogsmeade, so then..."

"And I hardly think she's one to go drink her sorrows away," Sirius joked weakly. His eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, I still have that Firewhiskey stashed -"

"Really not the time right now," James cut across him. He rubbed his forehead. "I dunno...the map shows everywhere in the Castle, if she's not on it, then...she's not..."

He and Sirius stared bleakly at each other, both racking their minds. The torches lighting the corridor shivered as another gust of wind blew in through the open doors, and James, noticing this, went to heave them shut.

"You seen Lily anywhere?" The oh-so-familiar tones had James spinning on his heel to see none other than Tom, addressing Sirius.

"I wouldn't be telling you even if I had." Sirius' face hardened. "Haven't you done enough damage here, Jacobs?"

"I haven't done – I need to talk to her!" Tom said defiantly. "Make her see reason. She didn't see what she thought she saw!"

Sirius' lip curled. "Mate, _I_ saw what she thought she saw. It was pretty convincing."

James came up beside him, and Tom gave him a glance of contempt. "This is between me and her, Black. If you don't know where she is, fine. Forget it."

"Jacobs, leave her _alone_." Both boys spoke at once, and Tom's face creased into an ugly - and uncharacteristic – sneer.

"I knew about Potter and his little obsession," he said snidely, "but I didn't know _you_ were sweet on her too, Black. Amazing how such a stuck-up little prude can have us all hanging after her."

Sirius lunged at Tom, and James only just managed to haul him back by the sleeve of his jacket, despite wishing that he could let him go. "At least she's got principles and some decency!" he spat, trying to shake James off. "More than can be said for you!"

Tom, who had stepped back in some alarm, gave them both scornful looks. "Get away!" James said through gritted teeth. "Just leave us." Tom opened his mouth again, but at another lunge from Sirius, seemed to think better of it and walked off.

"Why'd you stop me?" Sirius hissed, yanking his arm away from James and glaring. "How could you let him say that – that _filth_?"

James rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I can't," he said. "But slugging him one in the face won't achieve anything helpful. It's just a waste of time. Let's just find Lily."

Sirius, still glowering mutinously, shrugged, and they both started walking, but had got no more than a few steps before they were accosted by another unwelcome passer-by – none other than Severus Snape. He emerged from a side, twisting his hands together, his Ball attire looking entirely too much like his usual bat-like robes.

"What do _you_ want, Snivellus?" Sirius said, narrowing his eyes, one hand already on his wand.

Snape stare at them both for a couple of seconds out of his fathomless black eyes, the firelight reflecting unfavourably off his hair. "Is it true," he said at last, "that that boy Jacobs and Lily Evans have broken up?"

"What's it to you, you greasy git?" Sirius snapped. Snape bridled at the tone, but James shook his head; he seemed to have lost the energy to attack.

"Leave it, Padfoot," he said in a low voice, and then louder, "What does it matter?"

"Is she alright?" he asked, still in that new low tone of ambiguity.

"What does it matter to _you_?" Sirius questioned again, his face ugly.

"I was just curious," Snape responded, in his usual smooth tones. "There is much talk in the Hall." His face curled into a customary sneer. "But I'm sure she'll be fine with two such chivalrous pet dogs defending her honour."

"You-!" For the second time in ten minutes, James had to haul Sirius back as he lunged, this time for his wand.

"Just get away, Sna – _Snivellus_," he shot through gritted teeth. "Get back to the Ball."

Snape looked supremely unconcerned at the fact that James was still hanging onto Sirius' arm to stop him reaching his wand. "Very well. It might interest you to know, Black, that they are running the costume contest final now, and that _you_ are supposed to be in it. Let the Head Students look after each other." He turned and walked coolly off. James let go of Sirius' arm, and Sirius massaged it, glaring furiously.

"The nerve of him! Who is he – how did he have the _nerve_ to come up to us – I should have just hexed him into next week!"

James however, was staring into space.

"Head students," he murmured. "Padfoot, she's in the Heads' Common Room." He smacked himself on the forehead. "It's the only place in Hogwarts we wouldn't have put on the map, because we never knew it existed!"

Sirius gaped at him. "You sure?"

James shrugged. "Dunno, but its my best guess."

"Well go on then, check! You're the only one who can get in, mate!"

Without waiting any longer, James took off at a run towards the common room.

**-&-**

By the time James had reached the corridor with the doorway to the Heads' Quarters, he was beginning to pant, and wrestled impatiently with his tie as he gave the password (_"Oculis claro!"_) and climbed into the common room.

The room was dark and flickering, and at first he thought that she had gone safely to bed and he was unneeded after all – and then a low voice sounded to his right.

"Hi."

Swivelling hastily, he saw Lily curled up on the sofa next to the fire, and didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that she was still awake.

"Hey," he said, walking tentatively over, and sinking into the sofa opposite as he tossed his jacket to the floor. "Did you uh...did you leave straight after..."

"Discovering?" Lily interrupted quietly. There was a strange quality to her voice that James couldn't quite place. She took a sip of the Butterbeer she was holding and looked up at him. "Yeah, I did."

Still struggling fruitlessly with his tie, James eyed her carefully. "Are you okay? I – I mean," he stumbled, as she raised her eyebrows at him, "do you want to, you know, talk about it?"

Lily shrugged. "Not much to talk about," she said flatly. She watched him pull at his collar for a few minutes before setting her bottle down and getting up to come over. "You'll tear it," she said quietly, unknotting the offending item and proffering it to him.

"Thanks," he said, taking it. An uneasy silence fell – uneasy at least for James, who could not work out what mood Lily was in. Had she been in floods of tears, or storming with rage, it would have been easier to cope with than this passive silence.

It was Lily who finally broke it. "You don't have to stay, you know," she said quietly. "I'm quite as happy by myself."

"Nah," James answered honestly. "I was kind of getting bored of watching Sirius get all the girls anyway."

"Fine by me." There it was again; that odd drawn-out way of speaking. "You might want to change, though." It was only then that James realised she was no longer in her dress, but in a pair of trousers and a t-shirt. Suddenly the prospect of wearing more comfortable clothes seemed extremely appealing.

"Give me a moment," he told her, and bolted for his room. Having switched the uncomfortable trousers for jeans, he came back, unbuttoning the collar and cuffs of his shirt, with a new approach in mind.

"Do you hate him?" he asked bluntly, as he sat down again.

Lily took a moment to respond, staring into the flickering flames. "No," she answered at last. She drained her bottle and conjured another. "You want one?" James shook his head and she shrugged. "I don't think I can actually bring myself to feel that strongly."

There was a pause as James regarded her searchingly. "So...what?" he asked quietly.

Lily tilted her head, placing the cool bottle against her cheek before drinking. She gazed at the fireplace for so long that James began to wonder if she'd even heard him in the first place. "Lily?" he tried again.

"Disappointed," she said finally. "Part of me..." She tore her gaze away from the fire and looked speculatively at her Butterbeer, heaving a sigh. "Part of me wants to know why he did it. Why I wasn't good enough for him."

"Not _good enough_?" James said incredulously, standing up. "Lily..." He crouched in front of her. "Lily, if anything, you were _too_ good for him. You know that, don't you?"

A non-committal shrug was all the answer he got.

"Truly!" he insisted, firmly moving her chin so that she was looking at him. "Cheating is...the ultimate unforgiveable. You have to be pretty low to do it, and to do it as arrogantly as he did too."

Lily looked at him for a long moment. "Yeah," she said. She squared her shoulders. "I don't want you to think I'm upset. I'm not upset."

"Never said you were," James countered, sitting back on his heels.

Lily drained the last of her bottle, conjured another and emptied it halfway. "'Spose I owe you an apology," she mumbled.

James looked up in confusion. "Huh?"

"You tried...you tried t'tell me..."She looked rather puzzled as she placed the bottle back on the table. "But I didn't...listen. Wonder why..."

She looked up at him, and he was startled to see that she was having difficulties focusing on him. A suspicion began to form in his mind, and he looked more shrewdly at her, before turning his gaze to the Butterbeer.

"Lily, where are you conjuring these from?"

Lily shrugged. "Downstairs. T'Hall. T'Ball." She leaned forward, clearly intending to have another sip, but James snatched it out of her reach before sniffing it and gingerly taking a drink.

"Sirius!"

"What?" Lily asked, blinking at him.

"He's spiked the bottles," James said in exasperation. "Trust him." He looked speculatively at Lily, then raised his wand and Summoned a small glass vial from his room, which he handed to Lily. "No more Butterbeer. Drink this."

"What...is it?" Lily questioned, holding it to the light.

"A potion that'll take away the worst of any hangover you get tomorrow...since I actually don't know how heavily these are spiked and how many you've at. Drink. And then you're going to bed."

Lily made a dubious face as she looked at the murky green solution, but nonetheless removed the stopper and obediently gulped it down – James suspected this was purely because she no longer had the wits to formulate a coherent argument against him.

"That tastes...like sick," she announced, flinging the bottle onto the floor and slumping back into the sofa.

"Well, it tastes exactly how you'd feel tomorrow if you didn't take it," James muttered grimly. He pocketed the little tube, then got to his feet hastily, seeing Lily's eyelids drooping. "No Lily, you can't sleep here. Let's get you to your room."

"Lea' me," Lily mumbled, swatting weakly at him as he shook her shoulder.

"No, Lily, come on, get up, it's only a few steps away." He prodded, poked, coaxed and threatened in vain. Finally the only way he could manage it was to pull one arm over his shoulder and hoist her up. Attempting to let her go proved to be a bad idea, as she swayed dangerously, and he finally settled for looping her arm more securely around his neck and walking her towards her door, trying not to drag her too much.

"Sirius, I am going to kill you," he muttered as he tried to open the door whilst simultaneously supporting a now half-asleep Lily. He'd forgotten the narcotic effect of the potion, but it was making Lily, usually a very light, graceful figure, become a lumbering awkward weight in his arms.

Entering her room, he looked around for a bed...which at first sight didn't appear to be there. In fact, the entire room was so different from his own deep blue and cream room opposite, that for a moment, he simply stopped and stared.

Lily had created a fairytale dream in this space. The ceiling was hung completely with festoons of a white gauzy, floating material, which gave the room an ethereal look, and beneath his bare feet was a soft carpet of dark green. There was a tall antique-looking wardrobe, and opposite was a dressing table, the surface littered with a frightening array of little multicoloured pots, and a mirror illuminated with tiny candles, which was all the light in the room. There were boxes and bags scattered around on various comfortable-looking cushions and seats, James guessed they were from earlier.

Shaking his head in amazement at the explosion of creativity, he looked around again, wondering if she actually _had_ forgotten a bed in all of this – and then realised he was staring right at a four-poster, hung with more gauzy white fabric, but with no actual _bed._ He pulled Lily forward and pushed the fabric apart to stare in astonishment.

The bed itself was sunken _into_ the floor.

Still trying to understand the concept of this sleeping arrangement, he gently laid Lily down, deciding against trying to change her out of her clothes from the impracticalities, and made to disengage her arm from his neck. At this, her eyes fluttered tiredly half-open.

"No, James, don't," she mumbled, so quietly that James had to lean down to hear her. "Please...just...not after...don't leave me alone..."

James stared down at her, torn. "No, Lil," he said, trying to sound as firm as he could despite the tremor in his throat. "You'll be fine, I promise...you'll regret this..." He tried again to unloop her hand, but then her other came up to join it.

"No," she mumbled. "Please...don't leave me. Not you too."

James swallowed hard and looked around, before looking back down again at her. Then, he slowly crawled in and lay down beside her (on what turned out to be a very cosy bed) on his back, staring up at the misty ceiling. Lily, beside him, was nothing more than a dark shape, her back to him, already breathing deeply. He tried to relax, to fall asleep.

In fact, it took less time than he expected, and he was almost completely asleep when he heard a stifled sniff from beside him. Turning his head, he saw, by the dying candlelight, a slight shake of her shoulders and another little sound. There was a moment of indecision, and then he rolled over so he was facing her back and gently slid an arm across her waist.

"Shh," he whispered, and felt her relax back, even as another sniff was repressed. Trying not to think about what would happen the next morning, James fell asleep.

-&-

When Lily opened her eyes the next morning, her head was still throbbing faintly, and it took a moment for her to remember where she was. Squinting against the daylight filtering in through the drapes, she rolled over and buried her face in the pillow, thinking that she couldn't deal with memories of the Ball just yet.

But as she did so, and odd, unfamiliar scent hit her nose. Her pillow smelled...unusual. Of soap, and grass, and...cologne.

James...

Her stomach actually felt as though it had done a somersault as the final moments of last night washed over her, and she sat bolt-upright, staring at the place where he was. Or rather, where he _had_ been. There was nothing left now but a small piece of parchment, folded over, and bearing her name in his slanted scrawl. She picked it up tentatively, and then lay back down, concluding that since her head was still throbbing and the smell was quite...comforting...she might as well read while horizontal.

_Lily,_

_Hope you're feeling okay when you get this. Woke up early, so went to see the others off to the station. Will be back soon, and find you then._

_James_

_P.S. Don't worry about last night._

She put the note down again, and sat up slowly. There was an uncomfortable feeling she couldn't quite place, which had nothing to do with the spiked Butterbeer, and everything to do with a certain messy-haired boy.

Having showered and pulled on some fresh clothes, she wandered around her room, absent-mindedly tidying away the relics of ball preparation. Prodding herself for some emotion at the discovery of Tom's duplicity last night, she was half-shocked, half-relieved to find that in fact, she felt nothing more than indifference now, mixed with a residue of disappointment that she had been so misled. Embarrassment that half the school had had to witness the altercation, and that James, of all people, had to pick up the pieces.

James...

Warmth flooded her face, and she leaned her forehead on the cool glass of the window, staring out unseeingly at the snow that fallen overnight.

_How_ could she have let herself put him in such a position, even with spiked Butterbeer? She should have just gone straight to bed when she came up, not lingered to think...and to end up clinging to James, forcing him to stay with her, to _sleep_ with her. However innocent it was, he must have been so uncomfortable...no wonder he had left early.

She turned over these thoughts for a while, feeling more and more unsettled the more she thought about him, until it occurred to her that right now, even more than the cosy comfort of her room, the snowy white expanse outside had never looked more inviting. Swiftly, her mind made up, she collected her cloak, gloves and scarf and methodically put them on before heading out, praying she wouldn't meet anyone along the way, as this truly wasn't a time she felt she could answer questions.

Luckily, she was unobstructed, and soon enough she was out, standing in untouched snow, which glittered in the weak sunlight. It was beautiful. The dazzling white spread up to the lake, where she could see a thin layer of ice over the top.

She turned around and began to walk vaguely across the grounds, tripping ungracefully over rocks hidden in the snow several times. It wasn't until a few moments later that she realised she was heading directly towards the Quidditch pitch. An overwhelming memory of waking up to James' cologne in the morning rushed back, and she blushed so violently that she was almost surprised the snow around her didn't melt with the force of the heat. Stooping down as she entered the pitch, she gathered a double handful of powdery flakes and pressed it against her cheek.

What was wrong with her? Why was she so completely unsettled by last night's events when her only feeling regarding the break-up was of overwhelming relief? She began to pace the edge of the pitch as she struggled to think through her feelings logically. She was relatively free from issues as far as Tom was concerned, it seemed, beyond a resentful desire to feed him to the Giant Squid, but those emotions were practically post-breakup rights. There was mainly...relief.

But relief about what? Lily asked herself.

_About not having to choose between spending time with friends or with him this last year, about not having to fend off his affections in public..._

But being affectionate in public was what couples _did_. And she'd been like that often enough with past boyfriends...

_People would see..._

So? People did see. It wasn't as though it was unusual, or as if her friends cared. Remus and Emma did it often enough...

_But James..._

Lily flushed again, and took a deep breath, hands clenching unconsciously. Images of the past term began to flash across her mind, of Tom, of James, of James in all his moods, laughing, sober, furious, concentrating, worried, stressed, mischievous. And with that, as she searched her heart for the _real_ truth, a wave of realisation crashed over her, and she stopped abruptly in shock, sinking until she was kneeling in the snow.

_It was always James that I felt uncomfortable being with Tom in front of...it was always James I didn't want to have to spend time away from..._

_It was always James..._

All her efforts for something with Tom...and all along it had been James who had truly been in her heart.

Lily stared at the snow, her fingers idly tracing patterns on an unbroken patch as she tried to process her thoughts. The next moment she realised she had traced "L.E. 4 J.P." and scrabbled it out as fast as she could, disgusted with herself.

So she liked James, and she'd been rather a fool, she told herself sternly, trying to shake herself up before she sank completely into being a soppy love-story heroine. So what? Was this going to change anything? She still didn't know how big this was, and okay, so they might have had their...moments...but that was what you would expect with two people with their history. He'd probably given up on her a _long_ time ago.

_But what if he hasn't? _her heart whispered.

But if he hadn't...if he hadn't, he must have been through complete torture, Lily thought, softening, having her closer to him than she had ever been before but unable to take that final step...

Well, that was past, she told herself firmly, mentally shaking herself for the thousandth time. He'd probably got fed up by now, any normal person would. And she wasn't about to toy with him. The best thing to do would be to act completely normally, not think about this too much, and then...and then maybe it would go away. Maybe. Probably.

_And if it doesn't?_ a little voice in the back of her head said.

"Shut UP!" Lily said out loud, and she pulled herself upright, brushing snow fiercely off her now-damp legs.

"Normal, normal, normal," she muttered as she paced briskly back towards the castle, teeth chattering as the cold finally set in.

"Normal, normal, normal," echoed through the corridors towards the Heads' Common Room.

"Normal, normal, norm-" The words died on her lips as she stepped through into the room and came face to face with the man of the moment himself. Despite her strict injunctions to herself, she flushed desperately and an uncomfortable feeling shot through her.

"Where've _you_ been?" James asked, coming forward. "I got back ages ago – oh, the others say to give you their love, and Emma and Sapphire say that if you don't write to them today they'll send Howlers – and Good Lord, woman, you're dripping snow. Are you not cold? Go dry in front of the fire."

Lily bit her lip. "Yes. Fire. Letters. I will. Just...got to go change..."

She stalked into her room, shut the door, and leaned on it, and made a despairing face as a waft of James' cologne hit her.

"Normal my foot!" she groaned.

-&-&-&-

A/N: Finally, she gets it! This chapter was shorter than I expected, surprisingly, for organisational reasons, but seeing as I've had it written for well over a year now, I'm sorry it didn't get put up earlier. Life seems to keep getting in the way. Anyway, thank you ALL for all the lovely reviews which make me smile - a smiley me = more writing :) feel free to write another now and tell me what you thought!


End file.
